A/N: I love having meaningful reviews, it makes me so happy (:
Ivory White symbolizes indifference, frustration, anxious feelings, and intense fear.
Today was the day of Dawn's dance audition.
Paul told himself he wouldn't go. He needed more space away from her, to get his mind straight. But then again, it was the day of her dance audition at Veilstone Dance University, something she always looked forward to. He couldn't just not go and see her audition, it was an important event for her.
Paul sighed. He just had to see her.
Paul walked into the building as he heard music playing from far inside. It was dark in the halls, but he walked down it and soon found his way to where the dance audition was being held. It was being taken place in a big theater, what looked to him like a Broadway Theater. He had entered from the front entrance of the theater, and happened to be viewing from the doorways, where all the seats were.
He remained at the side of the doors, noticing that there wasn't an audience and that it was a private audition for many dancers.
Paul made sure he wasn't present as he heard one of the judge's call out. "Next!" Sounding slightly irritated.
Paul watched as the girl who was in front of the judges disappear somewhere backstage. The only lights that were on in the huge theater was the stage lights, so Paul could barely be seen, especially since he was by the doors.
Paul licked his lips as he now saw the girl he had been waiting for enter onto the stage.
Her face was covered in slight glitter, her hair tucked in a shiny silver headband (the ones she usually wears as a Blue Diamond) and her face covered in mostly natural make up, with some mascara and skin toned eye shadow with light pink lip gloss.
She wore a black body suit with beige stockings and her beige dance shoes (also the ones she usually wears as a Blue Diamond).
Dawn immediately took his breath away. She looked so beautiful and gentle.
"Dawn Berlitz. A Blue Diamond," The man with the glasses said. He happened to be one of the audition judges, along with two other people who were sitting right next to him at the table facing the stage.
The other two people were women, one who had brown hair and was very young looking and one who had burgundy hair who looked around her 30's.
Dawn smiled lightly at his comment.
"I do want to see what you got, especially since your dancing seems to be breathtaking. But, are you able to take my breath away on this stage?"
"I'm not sure, sir." She answered, her eyes on him. Paul could tell by the sound of her voice that she was very nervous. "But I do hope I got what you're looking for."
The man with the glasses pointed his pen at her radio. "So what is the song that you are going to dance to?" He asked her.
Dawn was holding a radio in her hand, holding it by the handle as she took a step forward on the stage in front of the judges. "The song I will be dancing to is Crazy in Love by Beyonce. It's actually the newest version, not the one with Jay-Z."
"Never heard of that version." The burgundy haired women said.
"Alright, well let's see what you got." The man said.
Dawn nodded her head as she took a last look at all of the judges before turning around briefly and placed the radio down on the floor, pressing the on button.
Paul leaned against the side of the doorway he was standing by, hardening his eyes on Dawn as he saw her getting ready to do her performance.
Dawn began to take slow steps backwards as she concentrated on the floor, her mind all over the place.
"Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no. Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no."
Dawn closed her eyes shut and wrapped her arms around herself, thinking of what could possibly go wrong. She did a twirl and followed her way toward the floor.
Dawn was really nervous and Paul could tell. She was starting off not too strong and he didn't like that one bit. Why wasn't she giving it her all?
She was so nervous that she couldn't focus much, she moved on the floor with the beat. But she wasn't supposed to be doing this alone, she was supposed to be with Paul.
Ash couldn't be there either, since he had a game that night, and he couldn't miss it. Dawn just didn't want to be alone at her audition and just by the simple fact that neither Paul or Ash was there to help her, she was so worried, so, so worried.
Paul was also wondering where had Ash been, he thought he was going to be her partner, but he wasn't even there. Where the hell was that guy? For the first time in his life, he actually wanted Ash to be there only because she obviously didn't want to do that dance alone.
Dawn did her best on trying to focus on dancing. If she hadn't screwed things up with Paul, then maybe she wouldn't feel as nervous as she felt now.
Every time she danced with him, she always felt comfortable and never felt no one else's eyes on her except for his.
Dawn slowly moved up as she bent backwards slowly, her head back and eyes closed with her mouth opened.
"I look and stare so deep in your eyes. I touch on you more and more every time."
As the beat became more intense, Dawn put more intense energy into her next dance moves as she tried to think of Paul and imagined dancing with him and the moves they did together. All the swaying, the jumping, the grinding, the vibrating.
"Such a funny thing for me to try to explain. How I'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame, yeah..."
Dawn made her dances stronger and more challenging, but as soon as she dropped down halfway to the floor, she messed up.
Paul's look immediately changed when he saw her mess up.
"Oh my god," Dawn quickly got up on her feet and turned off the music in panic, taking a slight breath of air.
The judges all gave her a hard look, especially the man with the glasses. The man shook his head.
"I'm sorry, I got a bit nervous." She said, her voice sounding shaky.
The man let out a hard breath as he dropped his pen onto his clipboard.
The woman with the brown hair laughed, shaking her head. Dawn looked over at the woman and looked back at the man, a nervous and scared look on her face.
"Are you ready now?" The man asked, a hint of attitude in his voice.
Dawn stared at the man for a long moment, not knowing what to say. It was so hard to dance without Paul being with her. Though she always danced comfortably with the Blue Diamonds because they all danced with her. But dancing by herself, especially in front of very professional dance judges scared the hell out of her. Dawn needed Paul.
She closed her mouth shut, her eyes beginning to slightly tear up.
Paul stared at Dawn, waiting for her to answer. But she was taking way too long to answer and she looked way too scared. He had never seen her that way and that really bothered him.
Paul shook his head as he opened his mouth up to speak. "Yeah, she's ready!" Paul shouted as he ran down the aisles, passed the many empty seats.
The judges turned around as soon as they heard another voice and saw that it was someone who wasn't even supposed to be at the audition.
"This is an audition, young man, you are not allowed to be here." The man with the glasses said loudly.
Paul ignored them as he ran up the stairs and onto the stage as he reached Dawn.
The judges were still talking about his presence, but Paul could really care less. He stood in front of Dawn and this time he got to take a really good look at her.
She looked way too gorgeous, her skin shinning in the light with the glitter on her face. Her hair nicely tucked into her shiny silver headband. Paul didn't know what to say as soon as he took a good look at her. She looked harmless and also like a princess, but no she's a Blue Diamond. But she's his Blue Diamond.
"What are you doing here?" She whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek.
Paul brought his hand up to her face and wiped her tear with his thumb.
"Young man?" The man with the glasses shouted.
Paul ignored him once again, his focus on Dawn as he dropped his arm back to his side. "You can do this." He told her.
"I can't," she said, "Not without you."
"Ms. Berlitz?" The man called from his table.
"You can do this without me." Paul assured her. "I'm not always going to be there, you need to remember that."
Dawn looked down, more tears blurring her eyes.
Paul brought her face back up to face him. "You're a Blue Diamond, and the captain of the Blue Diamonds." He told her. "You did that without me."
"Ms. Berlitz?" The man called again.
"Yeah, but not by myself. I had other girls dancing with me. Now it's the real deal, here inside this theater with professional judges." She blinked back those tears that were about to fall as she let out a small breath of air before speaking. "Besides, I originally wanted to do this audition with you. You're the only one that can make me forget that there are other people watching."
Paul let his thumb caress her cheek. "You can still forget that there are other people watching. I'm here watching. And you are going to do this."
Dawn stared at him for a little longer as she smiled slightly at him.
"Ms. Berlitz, we're on rush hour. And if you're going to keep talking to that young man, we're going to have to disqualify you." The man said.
Dawn turned her head to the man and shook her head. "No,"
"Well are you ready now?" The man asked, sounding very impatient.
Paul wanted to punch that man's face in.
"Yes sir." She pulled away from Paul and went to go turn on her radio.
Paul hurried to the back stage, where the curtain was hanging and shoved his hand inside his pocket as he now watched her beginning to start over again.
"Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no. Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no."
Dawn close her eyes tightly before throwing her head back and wrapping her arms around her back tightly.
Paul was watching, so that was enough motivation for her.
Dawn tilted her head from every corner before letting her arms free from that hard grip. As soon as she dropped to the floor, building great movements, she felt like she could do anything.
Paul waited for the beat to become more intense so she can put her all in. He knew she could do it, she just had to believe in herself.
"I look and stare so deep in your eyes. I touch on you more and more every time."
As if all energy and motivation came here, Dawn put in extra power in her moves as she brought her fists up hard into the air, her body hitting every beat along with her head.
She felt strong and much more confident than before, she couldn't describe it. It was like Paul made her realize something, just by him doing that helped her a lot.
Dawn kicked her leg in the air, twirling and popping her hips from beat to beat.
Maybe Paul was right, maybe she really could do this alone and without him.
"Such a funny thing for me to try to explain. How I'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame, yeah.."
Dawn felt as if she was the only one there, like no one was watching her, except for Paul.
All she really needed was Paul and that was enough motivation for her. If only Paul could realize how much she loved him, if only he could believe her.
Paul bumped his head to the rhythm of the song, watching her dance. She was doing great, especially without him. The dance moves she was doing were moves he had never taught her before.
"Got me looking so crazy right now, your loves got me looking so crazy right now. Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch got me looking so crazy right now."
Dawn continued to hit every beat with her body, her body swinging back and forth. She was more confident with her dances this time and Paul could tell. He continued to bump his head with the beat, satisfied with the way she was dancing. She was doing just great.
Dawn continued to dance, keeping her mind focused on every moment. She finished off with a matching body rhythm from the songs rhythm, careful to end gently.
"Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no…"
Paul immediately began clapping hard. "Whoo!" He shouted in excitement as he ran out onto the stage and gave Dawn a huge hug.
Dawn laughed in excitement as Paul gave her a big hug, nearly knocking her down, but she caught her balance.
After a moment, the two looked over at the judges. Dawn slowly walked up closer to them as the judges discussed their decision on her.
Paul stared at the judges before opening his mouth to speak. "You guys are fucking crazy if you don't pick her."
Dawn watched as the judges discussed something amongst themselves. Dawn's smile remained on her face as the man with the glasses turned to face her again.
"That was very enlightening." The man said. "But from what I'm noticing is that you express yourself as if you are dancing with someone else."
Paul raised his eyebrow at the comment.
Dawn's smile slowly began to subside as she realized what they were talking about.
"The issue here is that if you do a dance that includes a partner, it should only be done with the partner and not by yourself because if you do that dance by yourself, a lot is missing." The burgundy haired woman added.
Dawn listened to the woman, not sure of what to say now, her mood changing once again.
"And a lot is missing with the dance you just showed us, like the partner." The brown haired woman pointed out.
"Well, without a partner in the dance, we cannot let you—"
"I'll be her partner." Paul took a step forward, cutting off the man's sentence.
"No, it's too late sir, she has already had two chances." The man said.
"So what?" Paul snapped. "You're gonna let her go off of some bullshit like this?" He raised his eyebrow. "I can be her partner. I can make you see a whole nother perspective of dancing with just me being her dance partner."
"I already made my deci—"
"You said so yourself you wanted to see what she's got and what she's made of, right? Now that you finally get the chance to, you're just going to turn her down just because she didn't have a partner to give her dance more meaning? Talk about pathetic." Paul spat, his fists clenching at his side. "And you guys call yourselves professional." Paul scoffed, turning to face Dawn as he now saw tears beginning to form in her eyes.
She looked absolutely hurt and crushed. It pained Paul to see her like that and he went up to her and held her face in his palm. "Hey," he whispered, wiping her tears again, "Don't worry, I'm going to dance with you. You're gonna get this, I promise." He whispered.
Dawn closed her eyes. "I hope you're right." She said shakily, another tear rolling down her beautiful face.
Paul wiped that tear with his thumb. "I am," he let his arm fall back to his side as he went over to her radio and switched it to another song.
"Young man!" the man shouted. Paul ignored him though as he got into position.
The song began to play from the beginning and Dawn immediately remembered that this dance has always meant something to her. This dance was supposed to be the dance she was originally supposed to do and now that she can do it right now, she was still hopeful.
She went toward the center of the stage and stared at Paul as he started walking up to her. They let their bodies hit dangerously, just like they always practiced. Paul had his hand holding hers and before he can hold it any longer, Dawn instantly pulled her hand away from his, as if snatching it away as soon as the beat began to hit.
"I love when you pulling up in your jeep, bumping all your beats. J's on with your shades on, just to bring me something to eat. You the man up in these streets, but when it comes to my heart.."
She was letting small tears flow from her face as she placed her hand against Paul's chest, pushing him back. Paul grabbed her from each side of her face.
She felt like her whole world was crashing right before her, but Paul was making her feel a little bit better piece by piece with this dance. She trusted him with this, he seemed so confident with her and with this dance. It was like he knew this dance would probably make a difference for the judges that was watching. But the thing is, she really didn't know if that dance really would make a difference.
Dawn let those tears stop falling and focused on the dance again. She had to be concentrating on what she was doing and she definitely couldn't mess up again. She tried to relax a bit in his arms as he whirled her around and brought her back closer to him. Dawn closed her eyes while he continued to move with her.
"Baby hop in my ride, oooh it's hot as hell outside."
When his hands released from her body, Dawn made sure to open her eyes as she now began do to a strong dance, hitting every beat with her body along with Paul following behind her, mimicking the same moves as her.
She just couldn't mess up, not again. Dawn focused her hardest on this dance. She was tired of showing her weaknesses to these judges, she didn't want them to think she was weak. She wanted to prove them that she is strong and she can do just about anything.
Her body tensed as she felt him grab her from her waist and twirled her around as the song began to progress.
"Drive slowwwwww, take your time."
Dawn most certainly felt comfortable when she danced with Paul. He was the only person that managed to take away her stage fright. She was always so shy and nervous about messing up, but whenever he was around or even volunteering to help her dance, she made no mistakes. She was doing everything perfect.
She felt safe in his arms. He danced with her perfectly and held her perfectly. She was like a feather in his arms. He was the perfect kind of dancing partner she could ever ask for.
Dawn always wondered why Paul never considered dancing as his hobby because he was so good at it, but he always mentioned that dancing isn't his thing. But Dawn really appreciated that he would dance just to help her out and to become a better dancer. It was a lot of help for her.
The feel of his hands on her body, carefully moving her with the music in sync, almost made her forget that she was even inside this huge theater where the judges was watching them, especially her.
"Every little thing that you do got me feeling some type of way. When you give me that thunder, you make my summer rain. Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh. Everyday everyday…"
Paul kept his eyes hard on her, his mind more focused on her body movements and how she was moving with him. He didn't want her to mess up at all because he knew how much this meant to her. He wanted her to make it into the dance university and this is the only shot she has. She couldn't mess up, she just couldn't. He was hoping that she could see in his eyes that all he wants is for her to make it to that university, to follow her dream.
He was doing everything right, but he was a little concerned about Dawn because she looked very scared in the face and he was hoping that the judges wouldn't take note of that.
"And it won't stop. Boom boom."
Paul watched her drop her fists onto his chest hard and pushed him back roughly along with the beat. They couldn't hit a wall, so they pretended like they did.
He noticed that she was giving her all by the way she had pushed him back. She was pushing him back pretty roughly, he could tell that she wanted this badly because his chest was beginning to hurt a bit. Paul kept his natural face though as he listened to her short nervous breaths while he let out some on his own.
Her hot breath was touching his lips and he instantly twirled her around again.
"Boooooooom."
Paul hoped that the judges wasn't able to read body language, because she was trying too hard and he could tell by how hard she moved. She was dancing great, but she was trying a bit too hard and he hoped that the judges would still let her in.
"With every single part of me, my love for you is constantly forever and ever on repeat, on repeat and it won't stop. Boom boom booooooom."
Dawn felt like she was doing everything just right, but she was also so angry. She just wanted to prove that she was good enough. No just wouldn't be the answer for her.
Her heartbeat began to grow as she furrowed her eyebrows together.
"Rocking your body, rocking your body to sleep."
Paul now pushed her down to the floor on her back and then let the bottom part of his body dive down in between her legs. Dawn looked up at him, letting out a low breath of air.
Paul grabbed her left leg which was on his left side of his waist and brought it around the other side of his waist and lifted her completely up against up. She had her back facing him and Paul had his lips touching the side of her left shoulder.
"And it won't stop, boom boom."
Paul held his hands over her hands against her chest. And with the beat, they mimicked a heartbeat while popping. He let out heavy breaths of air as he did this, hoping that this dance wasn't in any way bad toward the judges.
"Boooooom."
Paul twirled her out of his hands as the two started walking away from each other. Dawn felt her heart racing and Paul was a bit nervous too.
Once the song came to a complete end, they looked at each other and then slowly looked at the judges before them.
The judges were looking at the two of them through a big gap between them.
The man with the glasses cleared his throat. Dawn was nervous and so scared about what the man was going to say. By the look in his face, she could tell that there was nothing good in those eyes.
The man looked down at the clipboard, writing something down with his pen. "Next," he called out.
Paul's face immediately fell flat and so did Dawn's.
"Wait, what?" Paul said in shock, walking up closer to the judges. "She's the best dancer I've seen in this city. You can't just not let her in."
"I've already gave Ms. Berlitz two chances, she doesn't get a third."
"And she did perfect in all shots. You're being a fucking asshole because you know she's better than all of the dancers you've picked so far."
"Next!" The man called again, becoming irritated.
"You're a fucking prick." Paul scoffed, turning to look over at Dawn only to see a very pained look on her face.
Paul shook his head, becoming really pissed off. "She's a Blue Diamond. She deserves to move forward with dancing," he snapped, his eyes fixed on that man.
"Young man, if she were good enough, she wouldn't need a partner to help her. That shows a lot on her part." The man looked back down at his clipboard and continued to write something down.
Dawn's mouth fell open at the comment, letting those words sink in.
Paul couldn't believe what this man was saying. He wanted so badly to go up to this man and punch him senseless.
Paul turned to look at Dawn and saw that she had ran back stage. This really ticked him off. He had his fists clenched tightly at his sides before looking at the man with the glasses. "You're fucking pathetic. With your blind ass. That's why you didn't see her moves very well because obviously you need a new set of glasses with extremely high prescription." Paul snapped. "I hope you know that all these other dancers you've picked are nowhere near as perfect as she is. You best believe that." After having said this, he ran back stage after Dawn, not really giving a shit about what the man had to say.
The man was at loss for words, surprised that he had said something like that to him. "… My glasses have high prescription."
The burgundy haired woman laughed. "Yeah,"
"Dawn! Wait." Paul grabbed her by her arm as he whipped her around to face him.
"What Paul!?" She cried, lots of tears rushing down her face. "There's nothing you can do to make me feel better. Everything I've worked so hard for is gone. It's all gone. I don't even know why I've started dancing in the first place…" Dawn was looking away as she said this, her voice shaking. She closed her eyes tightly and let more tears rush down her face.
Paul grabbed her face and pulled her face in his chest. "You've started dancing because that's what you like to do. That's what you love to do. You were born to dance." He told her. "Fuck those judges, obviously they don't know how to handle the best. You can always get a shot at other places."
"My dream is here Paul. Here, nowhere else." She cried into his chest.
"You can always make your dream of being a famous dancer come true. But you need to understand that there are always going to be times when things get rough, and this is one of those times. But you don't give up, you keep fighting." Paul pulled her face up so she can look at him, his hand under her chin. "Fuck them. You're a star in my eyes. Remember that."
Dawn stared into Paul's eyes as he said this, that hurtful look still on her face. Paul loved her way too much and by seeing that look on her face killed him on the inside. He knew how badly she wanted this, but he'd never thought those guys wouldn't give her a chance. She is an amazing dancer and always will be.
Tears blurred Dawn's eyes again as she opened her mouth to speak. "I want to go home," she said shakily.
Paul stared at her for a brief moment before letting his hands fall back to his sides. "Okay,"
He began pulling off his black jean jacket and wrapped it around her bare shoulders so she can be warm. She was only wearing a black body suit and nothing warm, so Paul handed her his jacket.
He walked her down the pitch black hall and soon made it outside of the building.
Dawn's arms were wrapped around herself and Paul guided her to his car before opening the door for her. Dawn climbed into the passenger's seat and Paul closed her door, looking at her through the window and saw that she was looking down with her arms still wrapped around her.
Paul sighed as he walked around his car and opened the door of the car before climbing into the driver's seat, closing the door shut.
It fell silent in the car and Paul knew that Dawn obviously didn't want to talk the whole car ride. He knew her way too well.
Paul pulled out his keys and started the car, the engine beginning to start.
He began to move his car into the street steadily before driving at a steady pace.
Dawn looked out her window, tears still flowing down her face.
As Paul was driving, she continued to cry for a few moments, but she eventually stopped and just remained quiet.
Paul sighed, not knowing what to do for the rest of the car ride. It was currently 8 at night and he wanted to take her home, but then again he knew that if she went home, she wouldn't feel better. And he wanted her to feel better.
Paul licked his lips before looking over at her and saw that she was now sleeping. He turned to look back at the window shield.
It was good that she was sleeping, that way she can take her mind off of things for a bit.
Paul decided he wasn't going to take her home, he decided to take her some place special. A place that Reggie had for a while, and he was sure that Reggie wouldn't mind. Paul did have the keys to that special place and he planned to take Dawn's mind off of her audition.
He looked over at Dawn once again.
She looked much more calm than she was earlier that day, sleeping with her head pressed against the passenger window, his jacket around her body to warm her up.
No matter how hurt he felt towards her, with all the things she did, and the bullshit with Ash, Paul still couldn't push away those feelings for her. She will always be his light, his princess, his Blue Diamond, and his star. Paul couldn't be selfish tonight. She needs him and Paul was willing to be there for her.
Paul turned to look to the front again.
He wasn't so sure if she loved him or not, but he decided to let those thoughts pass by for now.
A/N: Those judges were bitches. Anyway, I think you guys will really like the next chapter. Paul is finally being a little less selfish and more considerate when it comes to Dawn.
If you're curious what Dawn's dance solo looked like, I picture it from this video below.
Type in Youtube: Kadebostany - Crazy In Love choreography by Anna Edinak - Danceshot 25 - Dance Centre Myway
Click on first video!
I pictured Dawn dancing like the girl on the left, but I also pictured the song by Beyonce's version, not the version in that video.
…
As for the other dance with Paul, I used the same dance they practiced in chapter 7 and the link for that video is on that chapter on the author's note.
Songs used in this chapter: Crazy in Love REMIX by Beyonce, It Won't Stop by Sevyn Streeter ft. Chris Brown
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