***THANK YOU SIRLADY***

This chapter is dedicated to her- (sorry thats its so sad D:) BECAUSE SHE'S SO SWEET AND HAS KEPT ME WRITING THIS STORY! She's such a great inspiration to my work! She gives the CUTEST suggestions and- and… YOUR AWESOME!

P.S. I have a little special for you at the bottom of this ;D so read the bottom~

Warnings : EXTREMELY DARK (If I do say so myself). VERY GRAPHIC CHILD ABUSE/PHYSICAL/MENTAL This chapter has mature content (I guess…) It has a really bad language to the point when I went to read it out loud, I had to stop and kind of make tiny beeping sounds. I'm sure you all heard worst at school but this is so different because this is a parent-child relationship, not a friend-friend or enemy-enemy… AND SO I decided to change the rating because this has some really ugly graphic child abuse to the point I almost cried when I read a little… BUT I STOPPED MYSELF BECAUSE I AM DETERMINED NOT TO CRY AT MY OWN WORK!

Warnings II : NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED (I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings D:)

A/N : And um… Sorry… This doesn't have planned smut *at all* so don't get any ideas -unless they're good suggestions to the point I can actually fit it into the story or something along those lines! (Guess. Am I joking or not?)- And on with the story!


Chapter 7 : Nightmares of the Past

A tiny blond boy walks out of his room quietly. He presses his ear against the door to hear a woman sobbing. The little boy listens quietly to her soft, empty sobs. He gets down to lay flat on his stomach, peeking under the door. He can barely see her. The woman is holding a picture of a brown haired baby closely to herself. The little boy stares at her, feeling a little sorry for her, he too had recently lost someone close to him. He had just woken up because of the sobbing and decided to find the cause, so he was still sleepy and not nearly as alert as usual. He smoothes his nightclothes down as he knocks on the door to let the woman know he was here.

"Mutti (mommy)?" He calls softly, pretending he hadn't seen her cry. He peeks through the cracked door now, his blue eyes wide with fear as he realizes there are beer cans on the floor next to her. He takes a few steps back, wanting to retreat from her. "N-never mind! I-I'm sorry!" He starts feebly, but she has already seen him. "I-I said I'm sorry!"

"Leave me alone!" The woman screams at him. She picks up the nearest thing, which is a glass bottle, and throws it towards him. It shatters as it hits the door above him, glass flying everywhere. She can barely see through the tears which flood her eyes and stream down her face. "Stop bitching, you damned little fuck! Go! Just go the fuck away, you whore's child!" The blue eyed child wants to cry out in fear, but it is caught in his throat and instead a horrible lump forms in its place. He can only flinch away from her a little, tears are starting to form in his eyes. She is glaring daggers at him.

"Okay Mutti (mommy)…" Ludwig whispers. He starts to close the door, but the woman jumps up and swings the door back open, the knob hitting his side, she grabs his arm tightly before he can leave completely. He lets out a tiny cry at her grasp. She was not trying to be gentle at all. She was gripping his wrist too tightly, twisting it enough to make a tiny squeak escape his mouth, it was half way around. She yanks him towards her harshly, the boy lets out a tiny cry as he hears a horrible popping noise. He nearly falls but her clutch barely keeps him upright. "S-stop, bitte (please)! Mutti (mommy)! Bitte (Please)-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She screams. She throws him to the floor. He tries to be quiet, he really does, but the sound escapes his lips and he lets out a cry in shock. He didn't mean it, he really didn't. He didn't want his mother to be angry with him. He didn't want her to hit him, he wanted her to love him. That was all he wanted. He'd seen other parents hugging their kids, so why couldn't he hug her or her he? Why did the boys and girls at school, get hugs, and he get hit? "I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"I-I'm sorry, I'll leave!" The boy shrieks in horror as she raises her hand up. He scrambles to his feet but before he can get to his room, she trips him and makes him fall to the floor with a thud. He glances up at her, she smacks his backside harshly, he cries out at the pain, but he quickly clamps his mouth shut. She wanted him to be quiet, right? Than he'd be quiet. She hits him again. His lips quiver and he tries to hold back the tears as she hits him repeatedly.

"I TOLD YOU ALREADY! LEAVE!" She screams at him as she finally stops. The boy tries to stand up again, but she pushes him down. She kicks his stomach before stepping on his injured wrist, using her full weight. Another horrible snap before he screamed out, begging through tears for her stop. She removes her foot and takes a step back like he was admiring her piece of bloody art as boy lays there gasping for air. She is glaring at the boy who shakes in fear as he finally gathers enough strength to sit up to look at her, his good hand cradles his wrist and. His blue eyes held fear and confusion. A single word, a single question, that he held every day close to his heart… Why? "WARUM (Why)? WHY DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN?" She screeches throwing her hands up in anger, like she finally gave up, but Ludwig knew a lot better than that. "I DON'T WANT YOU TO FUCKING BOTHER ME. EVER. LEAVE ME ALONE. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE YOU- YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!" The boy bites his lip to keep back the another painful sob. The tiny boy is shaking.

"B-bitte (please)," He whispers, his throat felt raw from trying not to scream or cry anymore. "I-I'm really sorry, Mutti (mommy), please forgive me," He gasps. She screams out in frustration before she grabs the nearest thing, which is a picture frame, and hurls it at him. It hits his hurt wrist as he pulled them up to block his face. He turns around, still on his hands and knees, though his wrist ached unbearably, and crawls away as fast as he can. She flings another picture frame at him, this time hitting him on the back of his head with a loud thud. He feels his hands nearly give up from under him, and he feels a little lightheaded, but he doesn't stop though he wants to. He hears her slam the door shut as he gets to his feet with the help of the wall.

He stops at the very top step of the staircase to touch his a small hand to his head. His hair is slightly wet where she had thrown the picture frame, he glances down at his hand, and in the pale moonlight he sees crimson. He bites his lip as he stares at his blood hand. He wipes it on his pants, hating the way the warm blood was slipping down his neck. She really had thrown that picture frame hard.

He sighed in relief as he quickly gets back to his feet to run down the stairs. He reaches a swollen hand towards the door. He flinches when tries to twist the knob, he quickly switches his hand. He opens the small closet door under the staircase, too afraid to go back upstairs to his room. He locks the door with shaking hands and huddles in the corner, all alone. He cannot see anything but darkness in the small room. And in the darkness, he finds an odd sense of peace. A peace he cannot describe, but he knew it was there. He also doesn't turn the light on, sure he was afraid of the dark, but turning on the light would defy the whole reason of hiding.

He can barely stay awake in the dark room, wondering, in this complete darkness that doesn't change at all when he closes his eyes, if he is awake or asleep. He suddenly shudders as he hears someone walking down the stairs with loud thumps… He can only hope it is a nightmare.

"Ludwig? Honey, where are you?" His adoptive mother asks sweetly, her voice light. She sounds so loving, so caring, Ludwig almost tricks himself into giving himself away. He shivers though and holds his breath in the fear that starts to eat at him. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? YOU DAMNED LITTLE BITCH. GET OUT HERE. NOW! YOU FUCKING LITTLE- FUCKING LITTLE WHORE!" She suddenly screams loudly. He hears something crash. Something breaks, and she is hitting walls and screaming her head off. Ludwig presses his hands to his mouth in fear a small noise will escape him. He takes in a deep, shaky breath, slowly trying to calm himself. Suddenly, it all stops, like maybe, it was all a nightmare, and he'd finally woken up.

He suddenly hears soft thuds, footsteps that were meant to be heard. He shakes, squeezing himself closer to the corner of the small closet. She was coming TOWARDS him. He presses his hands harder against his lips, his mouth goes dry, and he feels sick. He shouldn't have hid, it was stupid, now she'll only hit him harder for hiding. She'll be angrier, oh God, what was he thinking? Thinking he could hide? Why couldn't he think any through!

The door creaks open, and he is still holding his breath. The lights turn on, and he stares up at her. The moment that had seemed like eternality had finally ended. He does not bother to try and pull away when she grabs his arm and drags him out of the closet. She is saying something, but he does not bother to listen. He closes his eyes instead.

This was his life, he would have to grow up sooner or later. He'd rather grow up now, when he was still able to adapt… When the memories were fresh, the pain of his brother's leaving was more than whatever she could even imagine to inflict upon him. Besides, there was no one left to protect him anymore, he was left here alone, and he'll do whatever it takes to get out.

The tiny blond boy is thrown to the ground.

Ludwig will have to hurry up and grow up. He'll take his beatings like a man. He won't hide from her anymore, he'll try not to flinch at the attacks, he'll try to take it like a man. He'll let her beat him until she thinks its enough… Because there is nothing else to do. His brother left him here all alone. His brother would be ashamed if he hid from her his whole entire life. He'd never get anything accomplished that way, he'd never be able to his brother…

The small blond, blue eyed child, who appears like a tiny, now bloody and broken angel, can barely feel the pain… It is foggy, like a final gift from God before being banished from his kingdom in the sky to this little hell…

Ludwig can feel more blood slid down his face, some slip from his open mouth in a scream that never had a chance to come. She silences it with another painful punch, this time to the side of the face. More dark, purple bruises, was that a knife? Maybe, he won't know until he wakes from the haze. He thinks a rib or two are breaking when he hears the frightening cracking noise as she kicks him again. He hears her yelling, but he doesn't care enough to listen. It all goes to a deaf ear. Pained blue eyes look up at the woman who he was suppose to be able to call mother, the one who was suppose to love him like her own blood child… Her face is red, eyes puffy from crying. Blue eyes look to the side, at the ground. His small, pale, bloody hand is reached out, towards what, he'll never know. He is too numb with the hazy pain to notice anything but the woman beating him. He can barely feel. He could barely feel anything.

Just get it over with… please…

Ludwig closes his blue eyes with that silence hope.

I-I promise I'll never hide or run from this again. This is my life, and this is my punishment. Its my fault for making her angry… no one's fault but my own. Because she does love me, she just isn't happy with me at the moment…

She loves me, and… this is all for my own good… I'll learn to live with it. I HAVE to learn to live with it. I'll do whatever it takes…

Whatever it takes…

Because my mommy does love me!

Right?


A/N : Please review and tell me how you think I did? Did I go way too far, or just enough to make you understand what Ludwig had gone through? This chapter isn't just a filler if that's what you were thinking. It has importance in later chapters. I know this chapter dealt with a serious manner, and that this truly does happen, no matter how heart breaking…

***The next part is to end the chapter on a lighter note and because I'm almost crying and I don't like crying.***

This next part is dedicated to SirLady~ I want her to know I appreciate everything!

And the SPECIAL-

Ivan- Where am I, da?

Ludwig- W-what am I doing here? And why am I the object of abuse? What have I done-

Me- CALM DOWN. I AM WRITING THIS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

Ivan- That's pretty twisted, da~

Ludwig- He-He's right! *points at Tovare accusingly*

Alfred- Woah… *rubs forehead* WHAT THE HELL? WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?

Ivan- Ew. *grimaces* You brought that here?

SirLady- IVAN! I LOVE YOU!

Ivan- Da~! *smiles brightly* I love you too!

SirLady- *squeal*

Ivan- *smiles again*

Ludwig- I feel sad… *looks away*

Me- Don't be sad D:

Ivan- Yeah… I love you too, da~

Ludwig- *blushes and looks a bit awkward*

Alfred- S-SHUT UP! I LOVE LUDDIE MORE!

Me- Calm down! *waves arms around to try and caught their attention* I don't want this to get out of ha-

*brawl*

Ludwig- I guess that's the end of this special… *face palm*

SirLady- See ya all later~ *waves bye*

Me- BYE PEOPLE! PLEASE DROP ME A REVIEW *tears flood my eyes* GAHHH THIS SPECIAL DIDN'T HELP ME AT ALL. I'M STILL CRYING MY EYES OUT.