Author's Notes: Awkward talks anyone? This chapter made me giggle. I hope you do to.

Disclaimer: Chapter 1.


Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don't tear me down
You've opened the door now, don't let it close

Chapter 9- Growing Pains

Loki slumped against a wall for probably the thousandth time that day. She delicately held her stomach as pain streaked through her abdomen. At times it was sharp pains, but at other times it felt dull and achy. The worst of it was when her body decided to act perfectly normal, like nothing was even wrong and for a brief moment she thought it was all over… then everything went careening back into pain and misery. Could her body just make up its mind?

She pressed her back against the cool stone as Volstagg laughed across the room. The Warriors Three were preparing for their next training session and taking their time getting there.

Loki frowned as Fandral made a quick glance her way before averting his eyes. At least the fool was learning. Loki had practically beaten him senseless the first few days of their deal. She had relented some after the warrior complained to his fellow companions. Volstagg had merely laughed at him, but Hogun had come to her petitioning for less violence. The petitioning was really Hogun threatening her with jail time unless she let up on the foolish blonde.

Her point had clearly been made. Loki didn't need to hit Fandral nearly as often as before, and the warrior was even courteous at times without being a total ass. Maybe there was hope for his womanizing yet.

"Loki, what are you doing slinking over there?" Fandral stated loudly as he checked over his sword.

All right, maybe not.

"Nothing that concerns you," Loki replied tersely. She straightened up slightly as Volstagg and Hogun looked over.

"You should join us!" Volstagg bellowed to the skies, "Let off some steam! Have a few burly brawls!"

Loki would have rather died at that moment as another stinging cramp tightened under her hand. "No… not today," she responded a little too quietly for their liking.

"Why not!? It is beautiful outside! Only the shadows of the night wouldn't be out on this fine day!" Volstagg was trying to convince her.

Loki placed a hand on her head as his voice boomed around the room. Now she had a headache from all the noise. Her aggravation was rising rapidly. Could this day get any worse?

"Volstagg…" Hogun laid a hand on the giant warrior's arm. He made a small motion with his head that took Volstagg a moment to comprehend. Loki's eyes narrowed slightly as she watched the darker skinned warrior. Hogun had picked up on her discomfort and was attempting to pull the men from the situation. Was he actually trying to be pleasant and not follow Sif's example of cold shouldering her at every interval?

"Oh all right…" Volstagg huffed. A meaty finger was pointed in Loki's direction, "But if you skip out on tonight's meal, I will find you…"

Loki didn't doubt it. Volstagg had been experimenting with different foods once again. This time around he had brought in some sort of large, colorful bird from a hunting trip. The creature was a delicacy in some far off place and Volstagg had fallen head over heels trying to get his hands on it. Unfortunately when the warrior was in that sort of mood, it tended to involve everyone having to at least try whatever he concocted over the fire. Good or bad.

"Come on you oaf," Fandral commented as he sheathed his sword and moved to stand up, "There will be plenty of other times." He led the way as the Warriors Three departed.

Loki watched them go. She slid to the floor as the last one disappeared out into the corridor beyond. She brought her knees to her chest and sat there for a long time. Why was her body acting abnormal now? Hadn't she endured enough when it changed?

The pains were only getting worse as she sat there. Loki decided to seek out the healing room, if only to figure out what was wrong. Surely she could handle herself once she knew what was irritating her stomach.

Loki got up from the floor and headed for the hall that the Warriors Three had taken. A guard was around the corner and started following as soon as she left the tower area. It seemed like she was seeing less and less of them as the days went on. There had been no guards stationed in the warrior's tower for the past couple days. Fewer people followed her wherever she went. The security surrounding Loki was gradually becoming laidback. It would have made the perfect time to pull something off, but Loki really had no intentions in escaping or killing or being devious. She would put any ideas off for a later time.

It didn't take long for her feet to find the healing room. Loki knocked gently and pushed the already half opened door inward. The smell of wild grass and herbs hit her like a strong wind and she crinkled her nose at the pungent odor. It was overpowering just to be in the front chamber; she couldn't imagine what it was like back in the pantry where Eir kept her stores.

Loki glanced around the room and found no occupants. The room was set up with many tables and storage shelves along the walls. A few comfy looking cots filled the center. Loki hoped Eir wasn't out collecting herbs today or whatever a healer did. She just wanted advice and to go hide in her room until this strange ailment blew over.

She waited a few minutes hoping the healer would show. Loki paced the room silently as her pains tediously grew worse. The raven haired woman was about to give up when she suddenly heard humming from outside.

Loki turned toward the far side door that was open. From the wooden frame, a stony pathway led out into one of the many courtyards surrounding the citadel. Loki followed the humming. Eir had a need to always be making noise, whether it was humming or singing or talking.

She walked past rows of herbs and other plants that lined the rocky path on either side. The little trail curled around past some high bushes and opened into a rather large area full of taller, more colorful flora. Eir was gracefully sitting crossed-legged on a stone bench underneath some draping ivy leaves.

Loki watched the woman as Eir's body swayed to the tinkling hum of her own song. This was another common sight a person could find the healer in. Eir was a free spirited, odd creature. If Loki remembered right, Eir had come along with Frigga when she had married Odin. She wasn't quite sure if that story was true or not though.

Eir's tune faded as she slowly stopped moving. Her silver blue eyes opened and were immediately on Loki. "Is there something you want Odinsdóttir?"

"He is not my father," Loki commented under her breath. How could she approach the subject she wanted without sounding helpless? The pains were starting to become unbearable.

"Would saying Lauffeysdóttir be more pleasing to your ear?" Eir responded.

Damn her eyes. Loki felt chills run down her spine. Eir's eyes were as piercing as Heimdell's gaze. She felt like the healer was looking straight through her.

"No…" Loki muttered.

"Then what brings you to my gardens?"

"I…" Loki paused and tried to collect her words, "I have been having pains…"

"In your abdomen?" Eir was doing that creepy healer-knows-all thing she always did. It didn't surprise Loki, but it made her feel a little uneasy in that moment.

"Yes," Loki replied. There was no use denying it; that's why she had come here.

"Loki…" Eir closed her eyes and almost looked sympathetic. The emotion was fleeting as she shook her head gently and looked up again.

"Have you bled yet?"

"I... what?" Loki was taken aback by the sudden question. Had she just asked…

"Have you bled yet?" Eir's face was unreadable, "You are not a woman until your first bleeding."

Oh no… no no no no.

No.

Loki didn't want to hear anything on that topic. Hrodi. She didn't want to deal with anything like that!

"I assume by your silence you have not," Eir commented.

Loki shook her head.

"You are completing the final steps to womanhood Loki, embrace it. You will be able to have children and—"

"That is the last thing on my mind right now!" Loki snapped. It was getting infuriating to be told again and again that she could bear children. She was sick of hearing it.

Eir seemed to grasp her frustration and dropped the subject. Loki was relatively surprised that she had complied so willingly. No one else had been considerate enough to do so yet.

"What can I do about it?" Loki tried to contain her anger.

"I can give you something for the pain… but there is not much else I can do. You will have to let it run its course like the rest of us," Eir responded with a cheeky smile.

Wonderful news. Loki thought bitterly. She supposed asking a few more questions wouldn't hurt now.

"How long will it last…?" She wasn't quite sure; she had never shapeshifted into a woman for long periods of time and the curse keeping her as one now was the longest she had ever gone as one.

"A week at most… sometimes less. Your body will decide, and eventually will set a pattern," Eir replied patiently, "but do not fret so much. It is only every few months."

"Every few months…" Loki repeated. She didn't like the sound of that one bit.

"What can I expect?" Loki asked, not really wanting to hear the answer to the question.

"Only cramping, feeling like a stuffed pig, soreness, pressure and heaviness in your gut, back pains, odd food cravings, concentration difficulties, mood swings, irritability, headaches, fatigue, and my favorite: emotional instability," Eir listed off without taking a breath.

Loki stared at her in disbelief. What was so great about any of that? And for a week every couple of months? Loki's head spun. How could any woman be in good temperament when she had to suffer such an ordeal frequently?

"I said do not fret," Eir instructed. Loki looked at the silver haired woman as she continued, "You may suffer very few, if not any of the symptoms once your body is settled."

Loki rubbed her face. All right, she had to look at a brighter side or risk going mad. Eir now made it sound like it wasn't as bad as what she had described. She would just have to wait and see.

"All right…" Loki said as she turned away from the healer, "Thank you Eir…"

"Loki," Eir's voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Setting our current topic aside, I may have something of use to you…"

This brought Loki back around. She stepped to the side as Eir fluttered gracefully past her and back up the path to the healing room. Loki followed the woman back inside and watched as she took a vial down from one of the cluttered shelves.

"I have been studying your current condition and may have a solution to bringing back your magic," Eir stated.

Loki flinched internally at Eir's words. That was a subject that hurt her pride quite deeply. Loki didn't want to admit that her powers had practically vanished upon her transformation.

Eir held the vial up. Loki eyed the lavender colored contents skeptically. How was any sort of potion going to help her?

"This is for any pains in the next few days. Only take a small sip or you might be slumbering until the next rise of the moon," Eir handed the vial over.

Loki took it with suspicion. What was the point of bringing up her powers if the vial had nothing to do with them? "And my magic…?" she tried to keep the subject rolling.

Eir sat at one of the low tables. It was covered in books and old scrolls. "It is a matter of accommodating your essence to your new form. Match them together and your powers should return to normal."

"My essence? As in my soul?" Loki was trying to make sense of her words.

"Yes… you must adapt and find a new way to draw your magic out," Eir replied, "It is simple really. You are trying to use your magic the way you did when you were a man. Now your body has changed, and so must the way you use your magic."

It was a simple concept, but it was one that was easier said than done. Loki would have to think on this one in order to get anywhere. And that was if she would have the time to try anything once she came up with ideas…

"Do you understand?" Eir's eyes were on her again.

Loki didn't meet her gaze and merely nodded, "Yes… I will consider what I can do."

"Then you may go," Eir responded. The healer turned away and opened one of the dusty books on her table. Loki could have scoffed at the bluntness Eir approached people with. Once she was done conversing, the healer typically made quick work of going back to her studies and experiments.

Loki glanced at the lavender vial in her hand as she left. The guard from before quickly followed her footsteps as she made her way back to the warrior's tower. There seemed to be some hope for her future in the magical arts, Loki just had to relocate her power within and siphon it out.

What couldn't be harder?


The sun beat down upon Asgard with a fierce fury. Thor shielded his eyes from the harsh glare as he stepped outside. He was supposed to be seeing how the progress on the Bifrost Bridge was going. As far as he knew, it was nearly completed, but Odin had wanted an update.

Thor made his way through the gates of the citadel and down the street. Signs of the dragon attack were all but nonexistent. There were a few spots here and there that still needed attending to, but even those were minimal compared to what it had been. Things were getting back to normal once and for all.

He turned down the way that would take him to the Bifrost Bridge and soon found himself alone on the crystal pathway leading to the observatory jutting out over the precipice of the sea. One day the crystal would shine with rainbow colors again. The bridge would be done soon and the powers refocused into another usable bridge to other realms. Until then, they would have to wait and only be sent across realms in emergencies by Odin. The only emergency so far had been when Loki attacked Midgard. Thor didn't foresee any other sort of call to action in the meantime.

Heimdell was in his usual position, standing watch in the doorway to the nearly completed dome that would become the Bifrost Bridge's new gateway. The man's lips quirked up in greeting, otherwise his expression remained impassive.

"What can I do for you, son of Odin?" he asked as Thor came within reasonable hearing distance.

"My father wishes to know how the building is coming," Thor responded. He was sure Heimdell already knew his reasons for being there. It wasn't like they had shirked him from any of the planning.

"Nearly complete," Heimdell's reply was short. He had never been one for a lot of idle talk.

Thor nodded, "How long?" He honestly wanted to know so he could go back to Midgard and visit the team he had fought with while there. Seeing the Avengers group would surely be a nice reprieve from all his duties in Asgard, and who could deny that it was a good idea to keep up with allies in Midgard to uphold the new alliance?

"Not more than two weeks," Heimdell stated as he turned toward the building and looked it over, "Our builders have excellent skills."

"Good…" Thor trailed off as he studied the new building. He hadn't been able to see it up close in quite some time. It appeared to be a lot similar to the old building, but had new craftsmanship in the archway and what appeared to be the inside walls.

"How is she?" Heimdell's question caught Thor off guard.

"Who? Loki?" Thor wasn't sure who he was referring to.

"You have not asked about the Midgardian woman in a long time," Heimdell offered some of his meaning.

Thor took a moment to process that statement. No, he hadn't asked about Jane in some time. He realized that he had constantly asked Heimdell about her when the bridge was first destroyed, but now…. Jane had not crossed his mind. Why was that?

"How is Loki?" Heimdell continued without letting his first question be answered.

"She's…" Thor was kind of baffled now, "I think she is finally finding peace."

"I observed you flying the other night," Heimdell stated.

"Yes," Thor shifted his feet some, "It was a pleasant flight."

Heimdell's gaze landed on Thor for a long moment. Thor wasn't sure where the gate keeper was going with this. Loki wasn't supposed to leave the castle, but she had been with the god of thunder. She couldn't have gone anywhere in the sky but down. And down really wouldn't have turned out terribly appealing…

"I see," Heimdell finally said.

Thor was still confused so he tried to find the reason for the gate keeper's questioning, "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," Heimdell responded as he looked back at the construction as stony faced as ever, "I thought it was odd. That was all."

"I see," it was Thor's turn to give the insipid response. He really wasn't sure what to say at this point.

"Tell the All-Father that the bridge will be completed in two weeks' time," Heimdell told him.

Thor nodded and took that as indication that he could leave, "I will. Thank you Heimdell…"

The thunderer walked away as the gate keeper looked on over the work being completed. Thor had no doubt that the bridge would be done in the time Heimdell had allotted. It wouldn't be surprising if the bridge was done a week sooner than given. Thor just hoped they could get it fully functioning again. Odin hadn't even been sure if they could fully replicate the old gate and make it work, but they were trying.

Thor's mind drifted back to the other conversation. Why had Heimdell made a point of mentioning that he had seen him and Loki flying? It couldn't have been a warning… Heimdell would have had guards sent directly to their father or to Thor himself if it had bothered him that much.

So what had been the point? Did he mean to mention it so that Thor knew someone was keeping an eye on both of them? Heimdell watched over everything in Asgard already. Of course he would be watching over Loki and making sure she did nothing to harm the realm.

And Thor hadn't asked him about Jane in a long while… Well that could be explained by the recent dragon attack and getting things cleaned up. Loki's transformation and rehabilitation had eaten time up as well.

There it was again… Loki.

Thor stopped in his tracks as he realized that indeed his mind had been elsewhere the past few weeks. He was concerned about Loki nearly all the time. He wasn't sure if he should be worried that his sister was constantly in his thoughts. He was just being a good brother after all. That's all he could be for her right now until she decided to open up more.

But what would that make him once Loki did what he wanted? A brother still? That thought bothered him for some reason. Of course he would still be Loki's brother!

"Thor!" someone called out.

Thor started at his name and turned. He had started walking again without realizing it and his feet had led him to the warrior's tower unsurprisingly.

Volstagg and Fandral were at their usual table playing with the silly cards they had acquired from heaven knows where. The large warrior waved a meaty hand and gestured for Thor to come over.

"Hello my friends," Thor greeted them as he went over to the table.

"I quit," Fandral commented. The blonde warrior threw down his handful of cards in exasperation. "This game is hardly fair," he added as Thor gave him an odd look.

"He's frustrated that I have better cards," Volstagg said with a proud smile.

"You only know that because of Loki," Fandral crossed his arms and was almost pouting.

Thor shook his head a little as Volstagg laughed. He would never understand their game nor wanted to. He had too much to worry about than some trivial little cards.

Movement from the corner of his eye made Thor's head turn. Sif's piercing gaze dropped to the book in her hands. She was sitting by the fire reading. Thor hadn't even noticed her until she had moved. She still did not look happy about her current punishment, but rules were set in place for a reason.

"Speaking of Loki…" Volstagg wiped an eye as he settled down from his laughing fit. Thor looked at the warrior as he spoke, "She's in some sort of mood… came tearing through here like a warg."

"Really?" Thor hoped it wasn't anything bad; Loki didn't get riled up over things for no reason.

"Yea… she nearly took my head off then went straight to her room," Fandral commented, "Wild woman, your sister."

"I told you not to touch her," Volstagg was shaking his head now, "That was your own fault."

Thor passed Fandral another odd look. The warrior looked taken aback and swiped Volstagg across the shoulder, "Not like that! Don't make it sound worse than it was Volstagg!"

Volstagg let out another chuckle. Thor cracked a smile. He knew that Fandral wasn't foolish enough to make a move on Loki, not after the agreement they had made.

"I will go check on her," Thor commented as the two warriors bickered amongst themselves again. Neither seemed to notice as he moved away. A short huff came from where Sif was sitting as he crossed the room.

Thor stopped and looked over at the shield maiden, "Is there something you wish to say?" He was getting tired of this haughty attitude of hers.

"No," Sif didn't look up from her book.

Thor left it at that. There was no point in somehow starting an argument. He continued to Loki's room and knocked on the door.

"Loki? I request your presence," Thor commanded through the wood. After a long moment with no response, Thor cracked the door slightly, "Loki?"

He didn't see his sister from the angle he was at so he entered carefully.

"Loki I request—" he started but was cut off.

"What do you want?" Loki spoke up in annoyance. She was sprawled out on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was an odd sight to see her so haphazardly positioned. Loki was one for proper etiquette even in her own room, not this strange negligence.

"Are you all right? The Warriors said you were having a fit when you—" Thor started but was silenced again.

"What do they know!? I say one thing and they blow it sky high," Loki sounded beyond frustrated and worn out. This definitely wasn't her usual self.

Thor walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He could only try asking again, "Loki, please tell me what is—"

"What is going on?" Loki finished his question and let out an almost pained laugh, "Dear brother, I'm dying from the inside out!"

Thor was baffled by the outburst, "I… what do you mean?"

"Oh you wouldn't understand," Loki replied. She took a long breath before adding, "It's just… female matters."

Thor shut his mouth. He didn't need or want to go into that whole topic. It simply made sense of her prickly words and odd attitude. But if that was the case, as far as they all knew, Loki was permanently female.

"I understand why Sif is always so tetchy and unreasonable now," she commented. Thor couldn't help but smile at that. He shouldn't have supported that kind of talk about one of his friends, but he would let it slip by if it made Loki feel better.

"I should let you rest then," Thor stated and he moved to get up.

Loki's hand caught his wrist, "No… stay." Thor looked at her in surprise. She was looking up at him with an unreadable expression, "Please… you're not bothering me."

"All right," he responded softly.

Thor sat again and leaned against the headboard this time. He hesitated as Loki rolled onto her side and laid her head on his lap. He wasn't sure what to do; Loki never acted like this. It wasn't a bad change, it was just… new.

He gently stroked her hair and waited. Loki's breathing slowly evened out into long intervals. It took a long moment for Thor to realize that she had fallen asleep. He still wasn't sure what to do as he sat there and watched Loki sleep. He hadn't seen her this unguarded since they were children…

In all honesty, he could have chosen to leave, but the fact that Loki had asked him to stay was enough of an opening that he had to take it. Hopefully no one came calling for him soon. Loki looked like she needed the rest.

The conversation with Heimdell floated back into his thoughts. He watched Loki's side rise and fall as she slept. Was Loki the reason why he had stopped asking about Jane? Could it even be possible to … love her more?