Chibi-Kari: I wanted to get Jesse and Puck out of the way and set the stage for the conclusion because fact of the matter is I have another St. Berry story I'm going to be putting up when I finish this one and I'd really like to get it out there. But I really can't add another thing to my plate. I think this story has about five more chapters to go. But I can't be sure. I'm letting inspiration hit me one day at a time. I don't own, but I love when you leave me a message after the button. And if you guys really want to know I'll give you a preview of my next story if you do!


The Way

It was torture. Absolute torture. Jesse St. James was absolutely against many things. Anti-homosexual bullying…well bullying in general. Unfair health insurance policies. Idiotic politicians. Cruel and unusual punishment. And torture. He was definitely against torture, especially after this.

He glanced over at the big man sharing the elevator next to him. Noah Puckerman. There were several things that teenage Jesse wanted revenge for. One of those things was trying to get his girlfriend to cheat on him. Yes, Rachel had told him. She told him everything at the time. But back then Jesse thought it smart to let it slide. He wasn't unrealistic. Puck had rather unusually large arms that were perfect for punching the living daylights out of him right before Regionals. Yes, he could have gotten a punch or two in before going down, but he wasn't going to risk it back then. Now there was nothing stopping him from taking a swing at the other man. They were in a small elevator just out of sight of Beth, Rachel, and anyone else that their fistfight might matter to.

"I can't believe Brian kicked me out." Puck looked at Jesse from the corner of his eyes. "You I can see why. Me I can't. That's my kid up there!"

Jesse had to agree with the slight shock at getting kicked out. He hadn't expected the silence that reigned after Beth's little proclamation and storm out. She was so like Rachel sometimes it was funny. Dramatic and perfecting the storm out one day at a time. It only took five minutes of staring incredulously at each other before Brian went out to check on the two girls. Another two minutes passed before he came back and unceremoniously kicked both of them out.

Jesse did try to protest. He hadn't even gotten a chance to talk to Rachel and he really couldn't leave without Beth, but Brian mouthing 'Beth first' shut him up quickly. That and the fact that Jesse'd have to drop off Beth's overnight bag a little later that night. He'd be back and get his foot in the door. It was a step in the right direction. Of course that didn't make him happy to be stuck in an elevator with Puck.

"She's my niece and Rachel's sister before she's your kid. And I think she did a pretty good job of telling you how much she wanted you in her life." Jesse sneered slightly.

"Back off, St. James, before I make you." Puck was still intimidating.

"Like you could. How about you just run home to your little cheerleader housewife and leave Rachel the hell alone. After everything Quinn put her through you think you have a right to barge into Rachel's apartment and tell her to forgive the bitch? I don't think you know what Quinn put her through." Jesse stepped forward coming face to face with the other man.

"Quinn's changed and she wants Rachel's forgiveness. And you don't get to play the nice guy and talk about how much Rachel's hurt. You don't even know how much you hurt her. And you think it's okay to show up and try whatever the hell you're trying."

"I know exactly how much I hurt her." Jesse glared.

"No. No, you don't. And do you want to know why? Because you were off winning another National Title. Then you were off enjoying UCLA. And do you know where I was? I was with Rachel trying to help her pick up the pieces of her life. And I was watching Finn get in there and ruin her all over again because everything's always been about him. Their entire relationship was about him and how she treated him. And then I wasn't able to see my little girl because I told Shelby where she could stick her so called maternal concern because she certainly hadn't had any when it came to Rachel." Puck was breathing heavily as he took a step back and leaned against the elevator door.

Jesse stepped back, too. He hadn't realized that was why the open adoption wasn't so open. "I know I don't know how much I hurt her, but if it's a fraction of what I saw that day I broke the egg I know I'll spend my entire life making it up to her. And I will. I'll give my entire life to have her back because I can't live without her. She was the best thing I've ever had and I threw her away for nothing. Nothing." He was disgusted with himself. He had been for a long time now, but standing in front of Puck put him in perspective. What was he thinking? How was he supposed to prove to her that he would do anything to avoid hurting her again?

The doors opened with a ding and Puck raised his eyebrow and gestured for Jesse to go first. "We need to have a talk, St. James. We should have had one years ago. Of course back then all I wanted to do was smash your face in." Puck chuckled slightly. "I would have too if Mr. Schue hadn't convinced us guys to funkify you instead. Starbucks?"

Jesse nodded absentmindedly as they walked down the street to the same coffee shop that he and Brian were at only an hour before. They took a seat and started at each other for a few minutes before Jesse decided they needed to start somewhere. "How's life been treating you?"

Puck leaned back and eyed him for a minute. "Not as good as it's been treating you. I saw your last movie. Cliché, but decent acting."

Jesse nodded. He couldn't deny it. All the movies he had been in lately lacked the depth that he had hoped for. He was starting to think he needed to get back into theatre. They were about to start casting roles for Deathtrap and he'd been more than tempted to jump back in. Especially when it came to a play that twisted and dark. That sort of thing called to him. He could have fun and actually act in something deeper than a teenybopper version of Shakespeare. Really. Movies were going downhill. "So Quinn."

Puck just looked at him again. "It's always been Quinn…love at first sight, you know? She needed to change herself before I could take her back and she did. She did it for herself, too." He paused. "It's always been Rachel for you hasn't it?"

Jesse sat back. "I don't believe in love at first sight, but I believe in loving her at first sight." He rubbed his forehead harshly. This wasn't the discussion he wanted to have. "What do you really want? You wanted this talk and you're making me do all the talking."

"Why did you do it? Not why did you betray us because that one's obvious. But why the egg? You could have sorted things out with her after Another One Bites the Dust. You know she would have forgiven you right up to the point you broke an egg on her forehead."

"Honestly?" Jesse leaned back and sized Puck up. He really didn't want to get into this, but the other man seemed hell bent on it.

"Honestly." Puck nodded.

"I thought she'd still be there. I thought everything would be okay after I left and she'd get Finn out of her system. I thought Shelby'd come around and then Rachel would have someone. Then I'd come back after a year away at college and woo the crap out of her. Convince her to come to UCLA and live happily ever after. Not quite how it worked out of course." He mumbled the last part bitterly.

Puck laughed slightly. "Live in la-la land much? You broke up with your vegan girlfriend by egging her."

Jesse leaned across the table scowling. "She forgave Finn and he egged her."

Puck immediately stopped laughing. "Damn, I forgot we even did that."

"Yeah. And somehow she did, too." Jesse couldn't stop himself from scowling. It wasn't fair how quick Rachel was to forgive Finn and Puck, but she wouldn't give him the time of day. "Why am I so different? Huh? How come she can forgive everyone but me?"

"Dude, she can't forgive you because you're the same. You have the same drive and you face the same problems, but there was a big difference. She'd never give up the people important to her and you did. Of course now that's not true. If you haven't noticed she's not exactly on the forgiving boat anymore." Puck looked sad for a minute before shaking his head.

"Yeah, Beth told me about her dads. That doesn't make sense. She loved them more than anything." Jesse shook his head slightly.

Puck smiled ruefully. "Part of that is Shelby. Rachel took it hard after Shelby made it clear that family didn't include her. She started to blame it on the contract. She didn't understand why it hadn't been an open adoption. One of her dads was her biological father so it wasn't like Shelby could waltz back in and say she had full claim. Things got bad at the end of senior year. And then when Rachel landed the part in Spring Awakening that was it. They didn't want their little girl naked on stage at 18. They said that she wasn't being true to herself anymore and was just doing this to get attention. They told her to try out for something else. Anything else and she said no. It blew out of proportion after that. Now I think everyone's just not talking to each other out of habit. My mom keeps them updated, but they haven't even come to any of her shows." He shook his head. "They were always a little too busy anyway."

Jesse swallowed harshly. When he thought about it he never realized how much they weren't there. Rachel almost raised herself. "I never realized how lonely she was."

Puck shook his head slightly with a sigh and looked out the window. "None of us did. Especially not back then. Our junior year she connect with Kurt a little bit and I think he was the only one that realized it, but not to the right extent and he really didn't want to be her friend when it came down to it. That much rejection isn't good for anyone. I think the only one that's really accepted her is Brian and now he's leaving."

"You care about her a lot?" It wasn't really a question, but Jesse wasn't sure if Puck would admit it. Old Puck wouldn't have.

"Yeah. She's been there for me every step of the way. She never let me back down, but now she wants to cut me off because of Quinn. I can't choose between either of them." Puck ran his hand through his hair. It was longer than it had ever been, but he felt like it suited him more than the Mohawk ever did.

Jesse opened and closed his mouth a few times before nodding. "Then take Quinn out of the equation."

Puck furrowed his eyebrows. "Dude, I just said I couldn't choose."

Jesse laughed slightly. "I don't mean dump Quinn. I mean you need to go home and tell Quinn to ease off and that you need to be there for Rachel right now. And then maybe if Rachel wants she'll come around. Trying to force her to accept Quinn will only push her away. Rachel always needed to be coaxed into things. This isn't any different. Don't ever force her. She'll come around if she really wants to."

Puck sat back and eyed him contemplatively. "You always were a Rachel Guru. It was like she never even needed to say anything to you and you just knew. You knew what she needed and wanted. You're alright." He started to stand up.

"Let's see if I can still do that. And Puck. Thanks for saying something to Shelby all those years ago. I know it messed up things with you and Beth-"

Puck raised his hand. "It was worth it. You just see if you can get my little girl to at least talk to me and we'll call it even."

Jesse smiled. "I'll use my St. James charm."