A LOST LIFE
CHAPTER NINE
After breakfast Segome went in and dragged Jaken into the kitchen.
"moth… Kagome Jaken has something to say to you."
"Jaken?"
"Yes he is my father's servant. He is the cause of all of this and I want it out in the open now."
"Segome, this isn't the time." Sesshoumaru was concerned, he didn't want Kagome to go back to where they started. He was making progress and he wanted to keep it.
"He took my mother from me, and now my mother doesn't even know who I am." Segome started to cry.
*Kagome, she needs you* She went to leave the room when Kagome stood up, "You didn't lie to me Segome, you told me about your mother not knowing who you were, and you were right. I don't know who you are, but do you just expect me to give up." She hadn't a clue where the voice came from but something told her that it was the only truth she had at this moment.
Segome turned around, "Why give up? We are all here."
"Well isn't that what you were going to do?" Kagome got up off the chair and walked over to her daughter. "I am here, I may not remember, I may even doubt, but give me this chance."
Sesshoumaru inner beast kept repeating the word (doubt, doubt). Sesshoumaru just shrugged it off once again and walked up to his daughter and his mate.
"You two need time alone, Segome why don't you take her out to the gardens and talk, I will stay here and make sure Jaken does his job and talk with the others."
"What about me dad?" Rin whined.
"You will have your time, now let this be theirs."
*listen, look, and you will see the truth revealed* the voice once again spoke in Kagome's mind. Segome took Kagome's hand and led her to the stagnate garden. "Why is everything not blooming?"
"It has been stagnating since you have been gone. It has refused to grow."
"Well now that I am here, why hasn't it started to grow?" Kagome questioned.
"I really don't know, maybe it because you don't believe that you really belong here, maybe it is because you don't understand your power, it was your power that created it."
"You know about my power?"
"Yes mother, I have similar power. You taught me some before you were taken away."
"You would think that if this power is great, that it would be natural and I wouldn't have to remember them."
"Well in all honesty think about it, if you don't remember them and are ignoring them how can you understand them or see them work?"
"You know Segome, you are really smart for your age."
"Well, look who my parents are."
"So I have you, Rin, and Shippou?"
"Yes, I am by blood of both you and Sesshoumaru, and the kits are adopted. You still loved them as if they were blood though."
Kagome sat down on the concrete blocks and started playing with a row of flowers.
*FLASHBACK*
She was in the garden, the flowers were almost glowing. They were so beautiful, all different colors. She was running her hand along them. She looked up and saw her children running through the walkway chasing each other. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and saw him again. Sesshoumaru standing there in all his glory like a proud father and husband.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
She felt the hand on her shoulder when she turned around and saw Segome, "You alright?" she asked.
"Yes I was just day dreaming."
"Well mother," she pointed to the flowers, "If this is what day dreaming does keep day dreaming."
The flowers started to move with like a spirit of their own as you could see they were rapidly getting their colors.
"Wow," Kagome then had a wave of understanding come through her. She knew that something was special and she knew this wasn't a dream it was real. She really did have powers within her that she didn't understand. She started to think maybe it all wasn't a lie. What was she to do? Should she believe this man who claims to have her heart and her life. Maybe the dream was a memory coming back to her, maybe that is what these flashbacks are. All she could do was sit there and think these thoughts over and over in her mind.
Segome got down on her knees in front of her mother and put her head in her moms lap. "Maybe you remember to love me mom."
"I may not remember you darling, but I think that my love for you may still be here." She placed her hand on her daughters Burnett hair.
"Thank you."
They sat there together, Segome enjoying the time with her mother, and her mother enjoying the time to get to know her daughter. They talked about all sorts of things, by the end of the time together Kagome felt like she actually had someone she could definitely trust. With in about three hours Kagome decided that she wanted to go be by herself she wanted to figure out what the voice was that she had been hearing. Was it just her conscious? "Segome, go back into your father and the rest of the group and tell them I am going out into the woods for a little bit to think."
"You sure you will be ok." Segome was hoping that her mother wasn't going to run off again.
"Yes I will be fine."
With that they went their separate ways as Segome headed into the house, Kagome headed towards the woods.
"Where did Kagome go?" Sango was the first person to see Segome.
"She wanted some time alone to think, she isn't mad. She went out into the woods."
"You sure that Sesshoumaru would of allowed that. She doesn't know her powers or anything."
"I am sure that he will protect her, even from here."
"Segome, where is Kagome." Miroku was next to question as soon as she arrived in the study where the rest of the group had been having a discussion about what needed to come.
The whole group turned to look at the two girls, "For the last time she went to be alone for a while to think in the woods."
"Was she distraught?" Sesshoumaru questioned.
"No, I think she was actually happy."
With that they join the group, Sesshoumaru was dazing in and out as the conversation continued.
Rin and Shippou were bouncing on Jaken using him as a trampoline.
"sweetheart, why haven't you tried to grab Kagome lately I am shocked?" Sango questioned her mate.
"I am tired of being smacked." Laughed Miroku.
"Come on you remember the look on dad's face last time you did that." Segome giggled remember the last time Miroku put his hand on Kagome's but her dad got furious.
"yea and without her remembering me, I could get more than hit."
They stayed together joking with one another about the past and things they would like to do in the future as Sesshoumaru had bigger things on his mind, talking to Kagome.
She walked into the forest not far from the mansion, she remember what happened the last time she wondered too far and she wasn't ready to go through all that again, at least she knew that she was safe with him. She sat down by a nearby tree and started to cry, she was hurt that she couldn't remember her daughter, she was tired of all that was going on.
"Kagome, why do you cry?" Came the voice in her head.
"Who are you?"
"I am a part of you that you have forgotten."
"Then help me to remember."
"I can't."
"why not you have access to my mind."
"you don't know who I am, therefore I can't help you in that way, in order to understand who I am you must first understand yourself."
"I want to know who you are, I want to know who I am, I want to know my daughter." She started to cry heavier.
"Don't cry, I am not there to wipe the tear from your eye."
"Your from my dream?"
"Yes, I was there to comfort you then like I am here to comfort you now, only now I can comfort you at all times."
"So you know things about me in this time, and in that time?"
"I know all there is to know about you current past and your forgotten past."
"so help me figure some things out."
"How?"
"Let me ask you some question, all I want is an honest answer."
"but what if the answer's you do not like?"
"A lot of things lately I have not liked. I feel that though I don't know who you are, or how you are here, that I can trust you." Kagome was so concentrated in the conversation that she couldn't move.
The night before after Sesshoumaru had taken Inuyasha back to the dungeon, Jaken had snuck down there and set him free for fear of his life of betraying the man. No one had even thought about checking on him that morning.
"Since you are a part of me can you tell me about these dreams and day dreams?"
"Well I have a feeling that they are memories coming to the surface some that you are sharing with your mate."
"You know who my mate is?"
"Yes, even though there is doubt somewhere I feel I know who your mate is."
"Tell me."
"I can't for in telling you, would create more doubt, inside you know, you must figure that out on your own."
"How would one know if they are mated?"
"You see in the mating process, one gets bitten in a certain location which shows commitment. You know you are mated if you have been bitten."
"What does the bite look like?"
"It usually looks like two fang marks, it can be place anywhere on the body but is usually near the neck."
"If I had one how would I find out who gave it to me?"
"Why do you have one?"
"I am not saying, it is just a question."
"well first of all, the person that you think about all the time usually is your mate, and if you rub the mate mark, if you look around you; you will see your mate having a reaction."
"What kind of reaction?"
"You will just have to look and see, for it is different for all."
"How do I know if what Sesshoumaru says is true?"
"by looking within yourself."
"How was it that Sesshoumaru knew where I was to save me? how would I know if he is truly my mate?"
"A mate always knows when their partner is in trouble."
"So you are saying that he is my mate."
"I have said no…"
Suddenly Inuyasha jumps out from behind the tree standing right in front of Kagome.
Being linked with Kagome the way that he was he could feel her heart race, and her fear arise. He quickly left the others and was at Kagome's side by the time that she could scream. She tried to move, but realized that she couldn't.
"Listen, I am not here to hurt you." Inuyasha was pleading with Kagome.
"what are you doing here baka? How did you get out of the dungeon?"
"I would like to ask you the same question Sesshoumaru?" Kagome asked.
"I felt your distress and came to see what the matter was, but enough about me." Sesshoumaru growled at Inuyasha.
"I was let out of the dungeon by our good servant Jaken. But I have not come to harm Kagome."
Kagome tried to stand but she couldn't move and Sesshoumaru could sense her anxiety.
"If you wish no harm upon her, then why have you made her immobile?"
"Brother, I just wanted her to listen. I wanted to apologize and to make right what I had done wrong."
"You haven't the right to call me brother, we had our agreement."
"But you said Sesshoumaru, that you would speak to her, to see about me joining the group."
Kagome looked at Sesshoumaru with pain in her eyes, she felt betrayed again. Inuyasha was wanting to join the group and he was actually going to ask her if she would allow him to.
"I told you brother that I would not force any decision upon her and if she chose not to forgive you that I was not pushing the issue."
"Then I should have the right to apologize for myself. To speak to her myself; not through you."
"You gave up that right by the way that you treated her in the modern era."
"Will you two just stop, I am here you know. I can make my own decision. I am tired of running and fighting."
"I just want to protect you Kagome." Sesshoumaru heart was once again put aside.
"Well stop. Release me Inuyasha, now."
Inuyasha released the binding spell that he had on Kagome. She took her hand and rubbed the back of her neck trying to relieve the stiffness that had come. Instantaneously Sesshoumaru wanted to fall to his knees.
"What is wrong brother, is something umm… so called troubling you."
"Shut up you jack ass I don't need your input."
Kagome continued to rub her neck, "You ever put a binding spell on me again, Inuyasha you will not be forgiven. And what is up with you Sesshoumaru."
Sesshoumaru fell on all fours right in front of Kagome. Trying not to speak or to grab her.
"Oh he is just have a moment right now."
"Inuyasha you are dead." He just wished that she would stop rubbing her neck, she was driving him crazy. He knew he had to get her to stop before she realized.
"Sesshoumaru do you need help."
"No, Kagome, nothing you can help me with at this time."
"What is going on? You look like you are in pain." Kagome spoke to Sesshoumaru.
"You act like you are pain brother, it looks like a pain that requires a certain touch. Not something that I can help you with."
"What are you talking about Inuyasha?" Kagome wasn't even paying attention to the conversation that she had earlier; she didn't even realize that she was rubbing the spot.
"Unless it stops it is a pain that you will never have the privilege of feeling; Inuyasha."
"How can I make it stop?" Inuyasha laughed.
He knew that she knew about the mate marks but how could he get this effect, hers was gone. Why was this bothering him so much. He reached up and touched where is own would of been subconsciously.
At that moment Kagome felt this twang come from within her as a burning feeling come from the back of her neck. "What the hell?"
"Not you too, Kagome, is everyone getting sick around me. oh I forgot a different type of sickness." Inuyasha had a shit eating laugh.
"What did you do Inuyasha?" Kagome asked not having a clue what was going on.
"Me nothing,"
"Listen I think you two should have some time alone, I just came here Kagome, to apologize to you for everything that I have done, and to ask for your forgiveness so I can join the group."
"Enough is said Inuyasha, you need to leave."
"But I want to know from her, if she forgives me or not."
"Inuyasha, leave now." Sesshoumaru was trying so hard to get a grasp on the growing feeling inside of him that he was starting to growl. He felt his inner beast wanting to come out and play with his mate. His body started to transform in to it's full state. Sesshoumaru had to get away he didn't want to scare Kagome.
Much to his surprise her needs were growing stronger as well for Sesshoumaru. Her body began to shake and to tremble.
Inuyasha took off through the forest as the rest of the tachi were coming up to them. They could sense in the air that someone was having a hard time controlling their manners. With the scent of them coming, Sesshoumaru stood up straight in reaction dropping his hand from the spot on his chest.
Kagome being released of pressure let go of her neck and stood up as well.
"What was all that about Sesshoumaru?"
"I don't know quite yet, but sure that I will figure it out."
(My lady,) came the voice back in Kagome's head which we all know was Sesshoumaru.
"Not now." Kagome said aloud not knowing that this voice could hear her internally.
(but my lady, did you forget our earlier conversation.)
"I said not now," Kagome spoke even louder.
"Not now what? I haven't done anything, I am still over here?" Sesshoumaru spoke still recovering from what she had done to him and knowing full well who she was talking to.
"Not you."
"UH.. Kagome we are the only ones here at this moment. You want the group to not come now? Is there something on your mind that requires privacy."
"No I didn't even know the rest were coming. I was just um.. talking to myself."
"Ok then if you wish not to tell me that is fine, I probably already know anyway." Sesshoumaru spoke so low that Kagome could barely understand him.
"Know what?"
"Not now." Sesshoumaru said back to her as she had said to him earlier.
"Hey what are you two doing out here, is everything ok. We heard a shriek." Segome went to her moms side.
"mom, mom." Shippou and Rin ran for their mother, Shippou grabbed a hold of his mother's leg as Rin stopped a few feet back still a little leery of approaching her mother, so she wrapped her arms around her father's leg.
Sango and Miroku stood by both of them with them all forming kind of a circle.
"Everything is fine, just thought I saw something that freaked me out."
"Freaked?" Sango questioned.
"It is a modern term, for being scared." Miroku spoke softly to his wife.
"Oh I see, so Kagome are you still upset with us. I mean will you come back to the palace with us now. It is about time for lunch." Sango wanted her friend back, she wished that Kagome could just remember everything.
"I wasn't upset with you, I just wanted some time alone to think, when Sesshoumaru thought I was in trouble he came to me. wait a minute…" she thought for a second before continuing. She thought about the conversation that she had previously with the voice, Sesshoumaru knew that she was in trouble. Didn't the voice say that her mate would know, did that mean that…
"What Kagome? Did you remember something?" Sesshoumaru asked.
"No, I was just thinking."
With that they had decided to go back to the mansion to get some lunch. Sesshoumaru and the children were leading the way for Kagome, and Sango and Miroku were behind her.
"By the way, Miroku, keep your hands to yourself." Said Kagome out of the blue.
"What did you say?" Sesshoumaru asked as everyone looked at her.
"I don't know, it just came out. Why does it mean something?"
Sango started to shriek in excitement, "Yes see my husband here use to grab your ass all the time, he has what we like to call a cursed hand. Can't you see, you are starting to remember, you know you belong here."
"I see," Kagome said doubtfully. They all continued there walk towards the palace.
(Kagome don't speak, just listen, Sango speaks the truth, I can't tell you much, but I can tell you this you are on the right track, I will be here if you shall need me, and you must know you can speak to me without being aloud.) The voice spoke in her head again.
(without being aloud) she thought.
(Yes with out being aloud.)
(you heard me?) Kagome was shocked.
(Yes that is what I meant by being aloud.)
(I see.) Kagome was shocked that this voice was so much apart of her that they could communicate just by her thinking. If he could do that she wondered if he actually knew all of her thoughts. Who was this voice and why was this voice so concerned with her understanding?
