... Hello. Please, don't use any of the advice given in this chapter. I don't want complaints about monkeys being assaulted with tampons :|


There are times when you recognize something, you know you've seen, heard, felt, tasted or smelled it before, but you just can't seem to figure out what it is. You think and think, struggling to bring some memory to the surface, and then-

"I've got it!" Amu exclaimed, pounding her fist on the table in triumph.

Rima and Utau looked up from their textbooks to stare at her. The two girls had decided that Amu had been failing algebra long enough and that she desperately needed some tutoring, and thus their little study group was formed. (Nagihiko, Kukai and Tadase had quickly stuttered out ridiculous excuses when the idea of spending an evening trying to teach the pink-haired girl how to factor polynomials was brought up, Yaya would be unable to help, and Ikuto would cause her to be distracted by the sexy.)

"Got what, Amu?" Rima asked in her small voice.

"What it smells like!" Amu cried out excitedly. "It smells like hamsters!"

Rima and Utau blinked.

"Calm down, Amu, and start from the beginning," Rima ordered. "We have no idea what you're talking about."

Amu closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. "Well," she began, "you know how your period smells like blood?"

Rima frowned. "Isn't that because it is blood?"

Amu nodded impatiently. "Yes, yes, but that's not the point. So you know how if you don't change your pad for a while, overnight, for example, it kinda starts to smell weird?"

"Like dried blood, perhaps?"

"No. Well, yes, but no. There's something else. If you sniff really carefully," (at this point, Amu received to very concerned looks), "it smells like hamsters!"

Rima and Utau stared open-mouthed for several seconds before Utau asked, "Do animals even get periods?"

Amu and Rima frowned.

"Well Tadase-kun had a dog, right?" Amu said thoughtfully. "You didn't see her bleeding all over the place, did you?"

Sighing, Utau thought for a few moments. "I guess not," she finally said.

"But if that's true, why us and not them?" Rima asked. "That doesn't make any sense."

At that point, sick of the conversation, Il popped up out of her egg and shouted, "Just shove a tampon into a monkey!"


Yes, we all fail at science. I actually did some research after this happened and felt quite stupid, so don't lecture me on how the ovaries of Chihuahuas work or something :|

But seriously. When my hamster was alive (which was last week), I'd be cleaning her cage and it would smell like pads and it would suck :|

(In other news, I'm a freshman now! Aren't you guys so proud? :'D)