A/N – Hola! Been a bit of a break, but this chapter has been bothering me and needing re-writing etc. Grrr. But here it is nonetheless.

This is the last chapter of pre-Harry Grimmauld Place; afterwards I will be skipping to after everyone has gone back to Hogwarts. I'll try to alternate chapters that follow closely the events of the book and chapters detailing what I think was going on in the Order/Sirius's life in general. OK? I hope so.

Disclaimer: And how do you propose I could get Harry Potter from Ms Rowling? And don't suggest a giant SLIDE, or a TRAMPOLINE... because I already tried those.

It was a warm, quiet evening when Arthur came pelting through the door of Grimmauld Place, eliciting a stream of curses from Sirius's mother. By the time Sirius himself had run down from Buckbeak's room, Fred and George had wrestled the curtains closed and the family was standing around Arthur, who looked pale and tired.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked, his heart beating frantically, "Has there been an attack? Is anyone hurt?"

"No. Everyone's all right. It's Harry – he's been attacked by Dementors and the Ministry have expelled him for warding them off." Arthur explained, and there was an explosion of sound as everyone in the hall let out a shout of protest, setting Mrs Black of once again. Sirius didn't even bother to close the curtains, choosing instead to shout over the top of her along with the rest of the house.

"They can't do that!"

"FILTH!"

"That isn't fair!"

"SCUM!"

"Is Harry all right? Is he all right, Arthur?"

"MUDBLOODS AND BLOOD TRAITORS ALL!"

"First all that dirt in the Prophet and now this!"

"QUIET!" Arthur shouted, and even Mrs Black was taken aback for a second, long enough for Sirius to grab the curtain and shield her from view.

"Right. If everyone would just calm down for a moment, we might get some things sorted." Arthur said patiently, "Harry is unharmed, and Dumbledore is doing everything he can to sort this out. He's at the Ministry now. Tomorrow there'll be an emergency Order meeting to discuss what's to be done."

"What about Harry?" Sirius interjected, "We have to get him out of there. Does he know what's going on?"

"I've sent him an owl but I don't know what else to do on that score. I don't have any more information than what I've just told you. Dumbledore's orders are to make sure he doesn't leave the house again. I've passed this on in my note but I think he might take heed better if it came from you." Arthur told him, and Sirius nodded.

"There's ink and parchment in the kitchen, Sirius." Hermione said, moving aside so Sirius could get past her, tearing a scrap from the long roll of parchment and writing on it,

Arthur has just told us what's happened. Don't leave the house again, whatever you do.

He knew how inadequate a response this was, but he had no information to offer his godson and there was no time for anything else. Harry's safety had to come first, and so Sirius attached the note to Remus's owl's leg and sent him off into the night with a heavy heart.

"Keeping him safe is the most important thing." Molly reassured him, and Sirius nodded.

"Evidently." He said sourly, "Who in Merlin's name was meant to be on watch anyway?"

"Dung." Arthur told him, and Sirius let out a mirthless laugh.

"I might have known. I'm going to kill him." he growled, clenching his fists as he began pacing the kitchen. As much as he wanted to find Dung and tear him limb from limb, that sensible little voice that sounded like Remus was telling Sirius otherwise. It would only be detrimental to Harry's removal.

If Dumbledore and the Order have to waste their time going and fetching you, or dealing with you being caught, then what about Harry? Does he just stay locked up in Privet Drive while you make trouble? The voice reasoned, and Sirius wished he could ignore it. He wanted to punch something, and Dung would have done nicely. Perhaps it wasn't Dung's fault that Dumbledore was being so infuriating, or that he'd been cooped up in this house for far too long, but it was definitely his fault that Harry was in trouble and that was reason enough, Sirius thought.

"Look on the bright side, Sirius. They'll have to bring Harry here after that, we'll have him for three weeks rather than three days." George pointed out, and Sirius felt some of the tension flow from his body, immediately replaced with sickening guilt.

"Yeah." He replied with a weak smile, "Probably for the best, in the end. Look, I need to finish feeding Buckbeak so if I could just…" he didn't bother completing his sentence as he hurried from the room, his gaze fixed on the floor.

When he reached the top of the house, where Buckbeak was happily devouring the bucket of rats that Sirius had left unguarded, he shut the door behind him and sank down to the floor. George was right, and though it pained Sirius to admit it, he was happier than he had been in weeks. He would have his godson with him for the rest of the holidays, and that had to be good, whatever the circumstances.

It was the second thought that made Sirius want to curse himself into a jelly: what if he gets expelled? Then, Sirius would never be lonely again. Harry would come to live with him, he felt sure of it. Perhaps Sirius could take over his education, Remus could help too (he'd like that) and perhaps this Godforsaken house would start to feel- no. Sirius stopped himself before he could continue his train of thought. It was too tantalising, too clear in his head. Too selfish.

He wanted what was best for Harry, Sirius told himself, and for Harry, the best place to be was at Hogwarts, with his friends, not cooped up here with his half-mad-estranged-godfather. Sirius shook his head severely and stood up, the blood rushing to his head.

"Right," he said to himself, "time to go."

He only reached his bedroom before he had to take refuge again. He wasn't falling apart, he was cool and calm and in control – Moony would be proud – but he couldn't go back downstairs. It was only now that he realised exactly how many people there were in the house. It had been fantastic at first, the sound of the young Weasleys and Hermione running up and down the stairs, shouting and laughing and bickering with each other had filled the old house as nothing ever had before. Now, as the heat of the summer months escalated and Sirius tried harder and harder not to imagine life without them, he felt strangely as though he wanted to be alone.

He lay back on his bed and looked at the pictures on his walls; not the Muggle posters of girls and motorbikes which he'd put up to annoy his mother, but the moving ones from a time so long ago. He watched James and Lily smile out at him and he closed his eyes, just to remember for a moment.

Memories of a happier time danced around his mind, teasing him; James, his eyes wide and sparkling as he breathed "she said yes". Then he and Remus were chasing a tiny Harry around Godric's Hollow on that disastrous babysitting experiment; the tiny Harry laughed and pressed his pudgy hands together, his eyes sparkling with joy in a way that the teenaged Harry's never had.

Then Sirius was back at the Lake edge on that fateful night just over a year ago, with the Dementors swooping down on him, Harry at his side.

Not Harry, please not Harry. He thought frantically, all the while feeling all that hard won happiness he had gained in that past few hours being sucked away. The images flashed before his eyes; Harry's trust, Remus's embrace (his first touch of human kindness in so long), and the surge of pride as he truly saw the man Harry had become.

Everything was blurring: the past and the present, the long years melding together and swirling around his brain until he felt disoriented. Then he fell back into reality with a crash, sitting straight up in bed and taking deep breaths until everything stopped spinning.

Sunlight was streaming through his window and there was a hot cup of tea on his bedside table. Sirius was surprised he had slept this long, and that he hadn't woken up when the tea had been brought in – he suspected either Remus or Molly. Despite that, he still felt exhausted. The dreams were better than they were when he first arrived, but Sirius still found little rest in a full night of sleep.

He hauled himself out of bed, deciding not to bother changing his robes from the ones he fell asleep in, took his tea and made his way downstairs, where he was greeted by an alarming sight. Hedwig was flapping around the kitchen, pecking Ron and Hermione as though they had personally offended her. Fred, George and Ginny were laughing so hard they were powerless to help, but Molly was fussing around them, trying to get a grip on Hedwig to put her into the nearby cage.

Everyone was shouting and Hedwig herself squawking far too loudly for any hour of the morning, splitting Sirius's head until he eventually cried,

"Impedimenta!"

Hedwig froze where she was, hovering in the air just above Ron, who breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks, Sirius," he muttered, and Sirius nodded.

Molly softly folded Hedwig's outstretched wings and placed her gently in the waiting, open cage that Pigwidgeon usually inhabited.

"What on earth was all that about?" Molly exclaimed, brushing her escaped hair back as she let out a breath of relief.

"I don't know; she wouldn't even take our note." Hermione told her, bending to pick up the piece of parchment she had dropped in the scuffle. From what Sirius could see, there was very little written on it and he raised his eyebrows.

"Probably had orders from Harry not to take anything from you but clear information. I don't blame him." Sirius muttered as he began rooting through the cupboards trying to find breakfast.

Fred, George and Ginny now fell silent, and the kitchen filled with a tension that had not been present only seconds before.

"If we knew what was going on ourselves we'd bloody tell him!" Ron exclaimed, and Molly tutted.

"Don't be ridiculous, Ron. You and Hermione swore to Dumbledore you wouldn't let him know, for his own good."

Sirius and Ron scoffed at the same time and Molly turned around.

"And I'll not take cheek from either of you, so don't even bother arguing with me."

Ron looked mutinous but held his silence. Sirius stood up,

"I am not your child, Molly, don't treat me like I am."

The coldness of his tone clearly shocked Molly, and she had the decency to look a little abashed for a second – but that was not to last.

"Unfortunately, Sirius, if you're going to act like a child then-"

"For once in your life, Molly, would you just shut up?" Sirius snapped.

Oddly enough, Molly did not respond to this, but allowed Sirius to adopt a surly silence. The teenagers sloped slowly out of the kitchen, not wanting to stay where there was risk of explosion. Molly busied herself with making sandwiches.

Soon, Sirius retired to the Library, where he collapsed into one of the armchairs. He felt ridiculous. Part of him wanted to apologise to Molly, but the other, larger part, told him she deserved it. The house was unusually quiet for the rest of the day; Fred and George gave up Apparating everywhere they possibly could, and Ron and Hermione were perfectly civil to each other all day. When Molly called everyone down for Lunch in the kitchen, Sirius took one sandwich with a polite,

"Thank you, Molly."

He didn't realise how tense he really was until the doorbell rang at seven o'clock, and his mother began to scream.

Two resounding cracks told Sirius that Fred and George were dealing with the portrait, so he went to get the door.

Mad-Eye stood before him, with Tonks and Kingsley in tow. He greeted Sirius with a gruff,

"Evening," and limped past him towards the kitchen. Tonks grinned at him as she passed, and a thought occurred to Sirius, who asked,

"Hasn't Remus been with you all day?"

"No, I've been at work – more's the pity." She replied, "I thought he'd be here."

"Oh." Sirius said, but was prevented from continuing his chain of thought as Mundungus appeared on the step before him.

"Sirius, mate, look I wanted to say-"

Mundungus was cut off mid-sentence as Sirius shoved him up against the wall. All the tension that he'd been carrying all day; the lack of sleep, the half-argument with Molly and his real fury that Dung had got Harry into this mess was suddenly exploding out as he hissed,

"You little shit. What the bloody hell did you think you were doing? You'd better give me a damned good reason why you thought it would be a good idea to bugger off and let this happen!"

Sirius's voice had risen to a shout and the Moody was hobbling back down the hall as Mundungus tried to gasp a response.

"Put him down, Sirius." Moody ordered, and Sirius tightened his grasp on Dung's throat for just a second before releasing him. Dung scuttled away down the corridor as Moody turned his stern gaze to Sirius.

"I've got enough trouble to deal with without you making more. You can contribute something useful or nothing at all to the meeting tonight, is that clear?"

"Crystal." Sirius muttered through gritted teeth.

A/N – There we have it! Not sure what I think of this, so always happy to have reviews!

ATTENTION FreindlyNeighbourhoodHPFan! Hi. You appear to have PM disabled but I felt your review demanded some kind of response. Firstly, I would like to thank you for taking the time to write a detailed review, always appreciate that

I would also like to address the points you made, since they interested me, and I hope you don't mind my doing so. The way I see it, Sirius is overwhelmed by guilt from the minute Lily and James die, as I've tried to make clear with my presentation of his Boggart. Seeing what Remus had done to himself in those few years would have triggered that response in him, because he knows that if he'd been with Remus rather than in Azkaban, this would never have happened. So that's yet ANOTHER thing he has to blame himself for, which would have particular potency after having been so reliant on Remus in previous chapters. Remus is there for him while he's struggling, but Sirius wasn't there for Remus and it hits him hard.

I found your idea of his being "hardened" by Azkaban intriguing, and I think there is a point where our opinions on things differ. Personally, I don't believe anyone is hardened by Azkaban, they are haunted. Hagrid, "one of the bravest people Harry knew" is so hideously affected by his experience in Azkaban that I feel Sirius must have been seriously emotionally affected and weakened.

I don't boast to know a lot about depression (which I believe Sirius definitely suffers from while staying at Grimmauld Place) but I do know that each sufferer has ups and downs. Helping Remus is one of Sirius's ups because it is finally something he can DO. He wants to throw himself into the war but he can't do that, he wants to throw himself into caring for Harry but he can't do that – he can help Remus. It's something familiar, something to keep him busy. Sirius always struck me as being happier when he was on the run – he likes the adventure – and while this isn't an adventure, it's something to distract him from the monotony and oppression of being back in that house.

As you can see, Sirius retreats back into himself a little in this chapter, though I'm trying to show that he's growing a little as the story goes on – though there will inevitably be bumps along the way.

I also find it interesting to note how varied opinions of Sirius are in the fandom – I think because he gets so little page time, certainly much less than he deserves - since my friend MelloLily much prefers the Sirius we've seen more recently to my early Sirius.

Goodness! Sorry about the mini-essay, I do hope you've not been bored! Just one last thing - I'm so glad you like my Remus, I enjoy writing him so much and it gives me such pleasure to see people enjoying reading him!

PS Out.