Summary: Perry protects his home from burglars.
This episode was inspired by the movie, "Home Alone."
You guys voted for this one, so I put it up. Most of it is a song. I own the majority of the song's lyrics.
He's No Guard Dog
*The Flynn-Fletchers' Living Room*
"Come on, kids," Linda called. "We don't want to keep your aunt Rhonda waiting."
She and Lawrence were standing at the door, both of them holding a small travel bag.
Candace rushed to the door, smiling and carrying her own bag. "All set. I can't wait to sleep over at Aunt Rhonda's. Most people would think that it would be weird to have a sleepover at your aunt's place, but Aunt Rhonda's like a grown-up teenager. This'll be awesome!" Her mood quickly changed, as she realized that her busting-urge might get in the way. "Unless, of course, Phineas and Ferb decide to build an ice rink on Venus, or something."
"That's a great idea, Candace," Phineas said as he and Ferb came over, carrying their own bags. He looked at Ferb. "Write that down, Ferb. An ice rink on Venus."
Ferb took out a notepad and a pen from nowhere and wrote it down.
Candace face-palmed. "Great. Now, I'm giving them ideas."
"Oh, there you are, Perry," Phineas said as their platypus appeared. "You're just in time to come to Aunt Rhonda's house with us."
"Boys, it would seem that you've forgotten that your aunt doesn't like animals," Lawrence pointed out, "so I'm afraid that Perry will have to stay here."
"What?" Phineas exclaimed in dismay. "But, but, but-"
Candace pointed at him accusingly. "Hey, but-but-but-ing is my thing."
Phineas ignored her. "Are you sure he has to stay here?"
"Sorry, Phineas," Linda said, "but you know how Aunt Rhonda is about rules, and the no-animals-rule is one of her biggest."
Phineas sighed. "Alright." He and Ferb knelt down beside Perry started petting him. "Don't worry, Perry. We promise we'll be home in the morning."
Perry chattered in response. He was upset that he couldn't go with them, but he was happy to have the house to himself, for once.
*Inside a Black Van, Nearby. Nightfall.*
Two men wearing cliché burglar outfits were sitting in a van. One was skinny and watching the Flynn-Fletchers through binoculars as they drove away. The other was quite muscular.
The skinny one chuckled lightly. "Looks like those guys finally left." He turned to his partner. "Ready, Ernie?"
"Why are we robbing this house, again, Nigel?" Ernie asked.
"Because that's where Phineas and Ferb live," Nigel answered. "You know, the kids who build impossible stuff? With all they build, they must be loaded."
"Loaded with what?"
"Money, you idiot." He nodded to the house. "Come on. Let's grab that cash and hit the road."
Ernie scratched his head. "Hit the road with what?"
"This is why Mom likes me best."
*The Kitchen*
Perry took some fresh popcorn out of the microwave and headed into the living room. He saw the two burglars enter through the back door, and dropped into pet-mode.
Ernie noticed the platypus and frowned. "Hey, Nigel, look. You want me to crush it?"
Nigel glanced at Perry and shook his head. "Nah. It's just a platypus. Those things don't do much. Now, I believe we have a building to rob?"
Perry was hardly surprised to hear that. These people were obviously criminals. He had to do something.
The music started. (This song is to the tune of Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship.)
-Perry-
I know you're types, your types. (Nigel and Ernie stare at Perry, for he was now on two feet and singing.)
You're a brain and a brute. (He points to Nigel - the brain - and Ernie - the brute.)
Now, you'll lose a fight, a fight. (He uses his tail to knock them off their feet.)
Against something furry and cute. (A close-up of Perry's face, his eyes twinkling.)
'Cause this one night's gonna go so wrong. (Nigel and Ernie stand up and back away slowly.)
I'm gonna make you flee the scene. (Nigel and Ernie run to the kitchen.)
I will stop...you. (Perry holding a microphone, while singing in front of a colorful backdrop.)
You'll regret...doing this. (Him holding a microphone, while singing in front of a colorful backdrop, but from a different angle.)
You're never gonna get away with this. (Perry searches the kitchen.)
You're never gonna get away with this. (He hears a sneeze coming from under the sink.)
I was told never to show that I am not mindless. (He opens the under sink cabinet and pulls Nigel out from inside.)
But, I knew that you were trouble, so I couldn't resist. (Perry pinches Nigel shoulder, and Nigel loses consciousness.)
You're never gonna get away with this. (He opens the fridge.)
You're never gonna get away. (Ernie falls out of the fridge.)
Never gonna get away with this. (He pinches Ernie's shoulder, and Ernie looses consciousness.)
I know your types, your types. (Perry drags Nigel next to Ernie.)
Boys, you're dangerous. (Perry whips out his hat and pulls a rope out of it.)
Yeah, you're the guys, the guys. (Perry starts tying them together with the rope.)
I'd be stupid to trust. (He finishes tying them up.)
And this one night's gonna go so wrong. (He sings, while bobbing to the music.)
Now, I'm going to call the cops. (Perry whips out a cell phone and starts dialing it.)
I will stop...you. (Perry holding a microphone, while singing in front of a colorful backdrop.)
You'll regret...doing this. (Him holding a microphone, while singing in front of a colorful backdrop, but from a different angle.)
You're never gonna get away with this. (A police officer answers the phone.)
You're never gonna get away with this. (The officer directs some other policemen to leave.)
I was told never to show that I am not mindless. (Police cars drive down the road.)
But, I knew that you were trouble, so I couldn't resist. (Nigel and Ernie wake up.)
You're never gonna get away with this. (They see Perry singing and leaning smugly against the wall.)
You're never gonna get away. (Perry tips his hat.)
Never gonna get away with this. (Perry exits.)
The music stopped, and Ernie asked, "Why are we tied up?"
"A platypus parodied a Cobra Starship song," Nigel exclaimed, "and that's what confuses you?"
Nigel was saying frantically, "I'm telling you, that platypus tied us up! It's evil!"
"Platypuses don't do much," a police officer responded.
Perry watched from the window in triumph, as the police drove off with the burglars.
He yawned. "I wonder if the boys had a night as eventful, and or musical, as mine. I'm sure I'll hear all about it in the morning."
*The Backyard. Morning.*
Phineas, Ferb, and Perry were sitting under the tree.
Phineas was telling Perry about what he and Ferb made. "And so, in conclusion, Venus is the place to ice skate. Oh, I wish you could've seen Aunt Rhonda, Perry! She was amazing on the ice!" He looked at Ferb. "That was a great idea Candace had. It was the coolest ice rink, ever!"
"And, the hottest," Ferb responded.
"Yes, Ferb," Phineas chuckled. "And, the hottest."
The End
You like? I won't do a song for every episode. Just if I think one up.
