Chapter 7 :: You Are So Beautiful


Lucien and Mikki stood there alone on the beach since Petey took Kouko back to the beach house. The two were completely alone and not at all able to speak to each other without an awkward feeling remembering what happened the day prior.

"Mikki. Let's go for a walk." I said watching her look slightly upset that I had prevented her and Peter from chasing after Alexandria. She simply nodded and we ended up in a nearby café.


The Old Bullworth Vale Coffee House was a few blocks away and we ended up sitting at a booth there. We were in the back in isolation because I could tell that she was a bit devastated that I had scolded her and Peter a bit earlier. The image of the kiss was still fresh in my mind, but I didn't let it interfere with my true intentions today. I wanted to get to know her better. To see if what Alexandria said and what Mikki had told me were true about her feelings.

I notice her staring blankly out the window, "What's wrong?"

She smiled at me, but I could tell her expression was empty, "Oh, it's nothing!"

"Don't give me that." I said placing my menu down. "I think I know you a bit better than that." She looked down and the table staying silent. "Mikki…Please say something."

"I feel…so helpless right now. So…powerless. There's nothing I can do for Alex…"

"Alex? Not Rex-chan?" I said trying to get her to smile. It's strange hearing her say her name.

She shook her head without batting an eyelash. I could tell that for once, she was actually being serious. "Lucien…" It caught me off-guard to hear my name as well come from her. I hadn't heard it since the first day I met her, "Right now, I'm scared for Alex. I'm scared for her…"

I raise a brow to this person who I feel like I've never met, "Why? She'll be fine. I've known Alexandria long enough to know that she'll be fine. She'll make the right decision." I tried to reassure her. This girl, this…Mikki…sitting in front of me had a different aura to her than the fun and happy Mikki I had known for so long. This Mikki seemed different. All in an instant she changed. "Where is this coming from by the way?" I ask a bit suspicious.


I just want to disappear…I felt bad for Rex-chan because she is my friend. 'You really do make a great match with Lucien.' I felt so guilty hearing her say those words… I kissed him, Lucy-chan, the boy who likes Rex-chan. Why is he here with me? Why is he not pursuing her? She may have rejected him, but his heart still belongs to her. I had to pinch myself on my side to snap back to reality for a minute. Lucien was staring at me. "Where is this coming from by the way?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I kissed you the other day. I'd take it back if I could. I'm sorry." I quietly spoke as my tears started falling; I covered my face with my hands. I don't want him to stay with me out of pity… I felt a warm feeling next to me. Lucien was wrapping his arms around me. I couldn't keep my eyes open as I cried even harder. It's his kindness that I love so much, the warmth I feel from just being around him. Even when he's upset, even when he's angry at me, even when he rejected me…I still…

I hear him whisper in my ear, "Is that what you want?" He removes my hands from my face and places his fedora he was wearing earlier onto my head tilting it slightly in front to cover the fact that I'm crying, "You really are a silly girl…"

I rub my eyes as he sits there smiling. "STUPID LUCY-CHAN! You're so insensitive!" I yell at him since he apparently has stopped caring for crying people. The very thought also made me laugh.

He chuckled back to me, "There's the Mikki I know and lo – ", he stopped short. Was he going to say love? He loves me? I shake those hidden desires out of my head. Why has my mind become like this? I flop over and lay on my seat. He was blushing and I was too.


Petey was by himself with Kouko unable to bring himself to let the poor bunny out of his sight. He really wanted to see Alex though. Most of the cleaning was already done since Mikki had taken care of it after Alex's birthday bash. Unfortunately, Alex left in tears. He could tell that Mikki would feel unhappy about that as much as he did. He knew about Lucien's feelings for Alex, but was still oblivious to Mikki. When he was done packing his things, he left a note on the door of Jimmy's beach house.

"Hey, guys, sorry I left without telling you, I figured I'd give you some alone time. Brought the rabbit with me, if you need me, I'll be in the boys' dorm. - Pete", I read my note in whispers to make sure I had written down everything I needed to say. If things don't go well with Lucien and Mikki…Let's just say, Alex, you won't be the only one crying…

I picked up my stuff and taped the letter to the door. Unfortunately, Kouko managed to get himself taped to the floor… I guess I'll be here for a few more minutes….


A waiter came in with some macaroons and hot chocolate for Lucien and Mikki since she finally stopped crying. She was surprised that Lucien would even buy her anything. He told her it was for white day since he knew that in her culture, boys bring things for girls the month after valentines. His was a bit late since they didn't talk the week of, but he wanted to make it up to her.

"So, why do you add suffixes like –chan and –kun to everyone's name?" I asked her since she seemed to be happy piling up the colorful macaroons.

She thought for a moment before responding, "Well, one of the other schools I had gone to in Japan, people called each other 'A-chan' or 'B-kun' in terms of respect and also if they like the person, they'll give them a name." She took a sip of her hot cocoa before continuing, "I would have called you Oppa or Sunbae and Alex would be Unni, but calling everyone something like that just brings back things that I don't really want to talk about."

It was understandable that she didn't want to use hangul to call each of us when she had a terrible experience in Seoul because of her, 'first friend' Francis. "I see, but why not just normal names?" I asked stirring my cup with a spoon.

"Well, I guess the most fun I had by myself was when I lived in Japan. My mother was still alive then and she and I would practice piano and I'd get to play with other kids. I can't really remember anyone since I was so young at the time. We didn't even get to stay there for a little more than a few months, but I was happy. Really happy…" She smiled as she reminisced her past. I suppose that makes sense. This was just the first phase; there must be something more she's not telling me.

"When I was younger, my father abused me right in front of Derby. He cowered in the closet from my father. Everyone was too afraid to approach him." I said adding to our conversation. She had sorrow filled eyes, the same as anyone who knew about it. At least she knows how to react.

"…When I was in Seoul, the girls at my school would pretend to be my friend to get closer to some of the guys that were nice to me. Francis was the only one who stood by my side after that." She said peering in her cup at the steam. I also returned her expression.

"Derby had a strange nanny growing up. She would take care of us every day when our parents had gone together on 'business trips'. We knew they just wanted to get away from us. They never believed us when we told them that the nanny was sexually abusing us. Constantly, she'd make us bathe just to see us…" I saw Mikki clasping her hand over her mouth a bit surprised by this.

"Why are you telling me this Lucien?" She seemed perplexed by my openness.

"You're the only person who knows. I've kept it a secret, you're the first to know." I held onto her hands on the table and I brought one close to my lips and kissed the backside of her hand. She smiled and imitated my gesture with my hand. I think I do like Mikki. This isn't something new to me. I've loved Alex before, I gave Alex my first kiss. However with Mikki, things feel different. She makes me feel carefree. Was I her first kiss? I evade answering her for a moment, "Mikki, have you ever kissed Francis?" I asked her since I remembered that article posted their engagement.

She blushed, "Act-Actually, I've never kissed anyone before until yesterday…" I gulped. So she really did give me her first kiss. Now, I feel guilty here.


When I got done removing the tape in what seemed to now be patches of cashmere strips, I picked Kouko up. They wouldn't notice he lost a few hairs, right? I try to view him from an angle that makes him look less lumpy. "Sorry, Kouko, you look like a balding Hobo now…" I stared at him for a minute and he slapped me with an ear. This is definitely Mikki's bunny. I placed him in my hood before making my way to the dorms. Eventually, it had already turned to nightfall when I managed to get all my things and Kouko (who kept trying to climb on top of my head) to my room. I was about to check on Alex when I saw Jimmy sitting in his room hunched over as if the life was taken from him.

"Hey…Jimmy." I said nervously walking over to him. He looks like he's been sitting there for hours. Has he even moved?

"Hey Pete…" He says quietly without even looking at me. "I blew it."

"I know you're gonna hate me for this, but I kinda saw. What happened to Alex?" I stand next to him watching him deep in thought.

"She chose Gary. No. She wants Gary." He scoffed as he felt baffled, "She can't return my feelings because she's too busy worrying about that jerk!" He said knocking his things off his bed. In the hallway, I can hear the faint sound of someone crying.

"Alex!" I walk out of Jimmy's room and before I walk down the hall, I turn to Jimmy. "You know, if you and Gary actually cared about her as much as you say you do, she wouldn't cry at all!" I slammed his door behind me. Alex, why are you crying so much? This can't be only Jimmy's doing…


"Um…This one is Red velvet!" Mikki said as she tried to guess which macaroon I gave her. "My turn!" She smiled before she made me wear my hat over my eyes.

I saw her pick a pink one. I had never had different macaroons before so I bought a lot for us and for Alexandria since Mikki wanted to visit her later. She popped the macaroon into my mouth, "It's…Its…" I blush realizing the flavor is, indeed, strawberry crepe.

"What is it?" She says tilting her head.

I wipe my mouth with a napkin before I answer her. 'Lucien, stop this nonsense!' I was starting to hear my father again. No, I'll do what I please this time! She looked at me with a puzzled expression as I move to sit next to Mikki. I sigh and take a deep breath, "Even though you're annoying at times and I want nothing more than to smother you with a pillow…"


Lucien decided to sit next to me when he wanted to tell me something. I was kinda hoping it was something a little nicer than this. "…And yet, that's one of the things I admire about you. Being near makes me crazy, but I somehow, can't imagine being without you... Not ever... I'm simply saying I... L-like you..." Oh, well this is actually a lot nicer O_O. I was taken aback by his sudden confession I started shaking and tears started welling up again. "Was I right to assume that our 'likes' meant two different things?" He looks away from since I'm still bewildered by his words.

"Lucien…" I released all my tears at an instant, trying to shield my face now that he's already seen me cry once today, seeing it twice will probably make him take back his confession, "I like you, Lucien. I like you. I like you more than anyone else I've met before because you've never used me, you've smiled just for me, and you let me get close to you. I like you…so much."

I started making these sqeaky noises, like hiccups, that I used to make when I cried really hard. I never made these sounds since the last time I was so happy. The last time was when my mom told me she loved me for the last time. I continued crying as Lucien held me in his arms. In the café, a familiar song played. It was one I even had on my ipod from grandma…

[song insert]

"You are so beautiful" by Junsu

"지금 난 너의 눈을 보며 운다 네 맘을 보며 운다"

Jigeum nan neoui nooneul bomyeo oonda nae mameul bomyeo oonda

(Right now, as I look into your eyes, I am crying as I peer into your heart so)

" 애써 해맑게도 쓴웃음 짓는 그 표정에"

Aessuh haemalggaedo sseunooseum jitneun geu pyojungae

(I attempt to be happy and show you a bitter smile.)

"너를 담아두고 싶다 그 바보같이 예쁜 꿈들과 어설픈 모습을"

Neoreul damadoogo shipda geu babogachi yaeppeun ggomdeulgwa uhseolpun moseupeul

(I want to have you, including all your silly but pretty dreams, and your clumsiness.)

"하루하루 네 모습이 추억을 만들어나 기억해 네 여린 손 흩어진 머리까지도"

Haruharu nae moseupi chooeokeul mandeureo Na giyukhae nae yeorin sohn heutuhjin meoriggajido

(Day by day, I make new memories, because of you. I remember things about you, your gentle hands and your flowing hair.)

"(Forever you) You are so beautiful"

"내 가슴에 밀려와 스며와 다가와 번진 네 상처도"

Nae gaseumae milryeowa seumyeowa dagawa beonjin nae sangcheodo

(It comes rushing into my heart, it permeates, even all of your scars.)

"(Forever you) You are so wonderful"

"시린 네 사랑도 네 눈물도 내 아픈 상처를 지우죠"

Shirin nae sarangdo nae noonmeuldo nae apeun sangcheoreul jiwoojo

(Even your cold love and even your tears erase my throbbing pains)

"널 사랑한다 널 사랑한다"

Neol saranghanda neol saranghanda

(I love you. I love you.)

"이제는 너를 안아주고 싶다"

Ijaeneun neoreul anajoogo shipda

(I want to hold you now)

"그 차가운 세상 끝에 홀로 서성이던 널"

Geu chagawoon saesang ggeutae whollo seoseongidun neol

(You, who drifted at the edge of that cold world alone)

"하루하루 내 사랑이 네 맘을 위로해"

Haruharu nae sarangi nae mameul wirohae

(Day by day, my love comforts your heart)

"상처 난 네 가슴에 내 기억들을 담는다"

Sangcheo nan gaseumae nae giukdeulreul damneunda

(And it fills your wounded heart with memories of me)

"(Forever you) You are so beautiful"

"내 가슴에 밀려와 스며와 다가와 번진 네 상처도"

Nae gaseumae milryeowa seumyeowa dagawa beonjin nae sangcheodo

(It comes rushing into my heart, it permeates, even all of your scars.)

"(Forever you) You are so wonderful"

"시린 네 사랑도 네 눈물도 내 아픈 상처를 지우죠"

Shirin nae sarangdo nae noonmeuldo nae apeun sangcheoreul jiwoojo

(Even your cold love and even your tears erase my throbbing pains)

"널 사랑한다 널 사랑한다"

Neol saranghanda neol saranghanda

(I love you. I love you.)

"한순간조차 잊지 말아요 얼마나 얼마나"

Hansoonganjocha itji marayo eolmana eolmana

(Don't forget for a moment just how much, just how much)

"사랑했는지 기억해요 For you"

Saranghaetneunji giukhaeyo For you

(I loved you, for you)

"(Forever you) You are so beautiful"

"내 가슴에 밀려와 스며와 다가와 번진 네 상처도"

Nae gaseumae milryeowa seumyeowa dagawa beonjin nae sangcheodo

(It comes rushing into my heart, it permeates, even all of your scars.)

"(Forever you) You are so wonderful"

"시린 네 사랑도 네 눈물도 내 아픈 상처를 지우죠"

Shirin nae sarangdo nae noonmeuldo nae apeun sangcheoreul jiwoojo

(Even your cold love and even your tears erase my throbbing pains)

"널 사랑한다 널 사랑한다"

Neol saranghanda neol saranghanda

(I love you. I love you.)

"네 기억으로 살고 싶다"

Nae giukeuro salgo shipda

(I want to live in your memories)

[end]


Lucien and I left the café to relieve Petey of bunny duty. He's probably tired by now. When we arrived in front of the beach house, we saw his note and chose to go to the dorms to see what was going on. I hope Alex is okay…

We arrived a bit late since we heard some loud cried from down the hall. Rex-chan… I go into Jimmy's room to see what he was doing since it was closed. He was probably still mad at Lucy-kun so I told him to see what was wrong with Rex-chan. Jimmy was lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling tossing a rubber band ball in the air. Before he could catch it, I caught it in mid air.

"Hey, give it back!" He demanded as his voice towered over me.

"You dropped something!" I said trying to make him look around his bed.

He did just what I wanted in search of the item he dropped, "What is it? I really don't have time for this Mikki."

"Your smile!" I said trying to make an invisible smiley face with my index finger.

"Quit it Mikki. Grow up already!" He raised his voice to me.

"No! Stop sulking and do something Jimmy-kun!" I said as I pouted at him, hiding the ball behind my back.

"I'll do something when you quit acting like a child!" He snarled. His words were filled with so much venom that I just got angry at him.

"I'm just trying to help! You don't have to be such an ass Jimmy!" I said leaving his room after I threw his stupid ball back at him and kicked him in the shin. He fell back on his bed and held onto his leg. Serves you right!

I puffed my cheeks. GAH! When you just want someone to be happy and this is the thanks you get! I walked over to Rex-chan's room. Maybe she'll be better…

When I saw her face I could clearly tell she had been crying, "REX-CHAN!" I cried along with her since both of our eyes were pretty puffy already.

"Mikki, you're not helping." Momoi-chan said trying to smile for the both of us.

"I-I'm sorry, it's just when I see Alex looking so sad I-I…." I start crying again and grab a tissue next to Rex-chan….

"Di-did she just say 'Alex'?" Momoi-chan looked at Lucien.


"It's a long story." I explained to Peter when Mikki and Alex were off in their own little world crying together.

"I-I don-don't know what to do! I'm so pissed at myself!" Alexandria cried into her pillow. I tried to rub her back for comfort when Mikki hugged her and tried to wipe her eyes with a clean tissue.

"Rex-chan, please let it out." Mikki said as she patted Alex's back. They really seem like sisters. As for who is older at this point…Well, it was Alex, but then for a moment it was Mikki, now the title is up for grabs. I can see Pete is just as confused as I am with these two.


We managed to get Alexandria and Mikki to sleepover at my place since it would be easier to talk here. Actually, we sort of had to drag Alexandria since she didn't want to leave her room. Mikki had grabbed all her things from the beach earlier, so she was okay in terms of clothing for now. Kouko had been asleep in Peter's duffle bag since he had taken him over to the dorms. He hasn't met Alexandria yet. The five of us stay in my living room since it had the most space. Most of the servants had gone to sleep and since my mother wasn't back yet from the photo shoot with Alexandria's father we had the place to ourselves.

"What happened earlier?" I asked Peter since he had tried talking to Alexandria a while before Mikki and I got there. Alexandria had fallen asleep, probably from crying so much. Mikki was barely awake when Peter called her over to discuss the news with us.

"Well…According to Alex, Jimmy wanted her to choose him, but she chose Gary. Gary decided that she needed to choose him or us. She couldn't choose him over us." He says as Mikki smiles half-heartedly.

"Poor Rex-chan…"Mikki says as Kouko wakes up and huddles close to her leg placing his ears over his eyes.

"Yeah, well the worst part of it is, Gary broke up with her and she's been torn since she tried her best to choose him, to prove she loved him, but she couldn't deny us as friends…" Petey looks over to Alexandria. I wish this could have all been prevented. I sat next to her and wiped some remaining tears away from her face causing her to flinch. Mikki changed into pajamas similar to the one she had worn when I saw her, but this time, the colors were inverted. I averted my eyes from her. She was too tired to stay awake much longer and fell asleep next to Alexandria and Kouko slept between them.

"Maybe this should be a discussion we should save for the morning." I suggested since the three members of the party decided to fall asleep, I was feeling tired as well. It was already 2 AM and there was so much that happened that it took all the energy out of me.

"Sure, by the way…" Peter placed some strips of fur near me and I looked at them carefully. Are these? "I may have accidentally placed the tape for my letter near Kouko and he may have played in it." He said before he casually faked sleeping on the couch. I suppose Mikki and I should have gotten over to the beach house sooner. I fell asleep next to Mikki. I feel more at ease just being near her. I hold her waist as I fall asleep to her scent…She always smells sweet. She nestled closer to me and I kissed her on her forehead. Sweet dreams Mikki...


A/N: Sorry this is rather short XD, I felt like since PBP09's chapter was so sad (I seriously cried) I'd end mine on a slightly happier note. Mikki and Lucien are becoming more open to each other, but not necessarily dating, they're at the flirting stage :P Anyway, Kouko can use his ears to slap people. Yes. Mikki is also learning how to remove her past from herself. It's almost like a vice for her to call people –chan and –san or –kun instead of their actual names. She just grew up with feeling like she had to hold onto that part of herself to stay happy. Now that Lucien has gotten to know her a bit better, the names will slowly become a natural part of the past. I'm sorry if things are moving a bit quickly since I'm trying to keep up in time XD I promise, unless something major happens or if it's requested, no lemons for Mikki or Lucien before they date and they will not start dating until a certain, "problem" has been solved! Friendly reminder, READ PUREBLOODPRINCESS09's "My Roommate Is A Sociopath" Chapter 28 before reading this and chapter 29 after :D Thank you!

V4MP – Lols, didn't even know you read this XD *Creepy hearts*

PurebloodPrincess09 – Fangirl even more this chapter please XD

OfTheHuntAndMoon – Finally got an acc I see :D OMG do you live near that place that sells awesome ice cream sandwich cookies? If you haven't been there, you're totally missing out!

Project E.N.D. – Working on that XD

SorrowOfDestiny – Still contemplating how it'll go down :O

Immortal37 – Ty, the Gary/Alex will be posted tomorrow after I photoshop some coloring errors XDD (FML I can't stay within lines) Their relationship is in progress.

**EDIT**

galexy pic is done and posted on tumblr!