A/N alright HUGE thanks to all of you for being so patient. I have finished my Kristoff cosplay (which looks pretty damn badass) so bam that's out of the way. The only thing is next Thursday I will be at Anime Boston (if you're going come say hi please) until Monday, now I'll try, try my hardest to get another chapter out before then, but if not than I will go back to my regular updates as soon as I'm back. Thanks for your patience over the last few weeks. You're all fucking amazing and you keep this story going. I haven't forgotten about you or the story, so no worries. We still have a long ways to go.
Enjoy 3
Elsa didn't look back. She didn't need to see the heartbreak she left Anna with, the audible whimper that she heard escape Anna's throat was enough confirmation that she fucked up yet again.
Why did you ever get involved with her? Why did you drag this poor girl into your emotionally fucked up life?
Tears brimmed Elsa's eyes, threatening to escape as she found her next class.
Conceal it, don't feel it.
The words echoed in the blonde's mind as she took several deep breaths, turning the door handle to a thankfully empty classroom.
As Elsa took her seat, she glanced at the clock behind her. I made it here in 2 minutes flat. Class doesn't start for another eight.
"Elsa?" The blonde turned around, facing the voice.
"Kristoff?" Elsa questioned, "What are you doing here?"
"I have Math this period too. Are you alright? Your eyes are red." He said, walking up to Elsa slowly.
Don't let him know. "I'm fine! I'm fine, don't worry about me." The blonde said quickly, brushing away Kristoff. Well now he probably knows. You suck at lying.
Kristoff shot her a skeptical look before taking his seat.
"You know I'm always here to talk too right?" The blonde boy said, giving Elsa a hopeful smile.
The girl couldn't help but smile back, nodding her hand in thanks.
"Thank you Kristoff. Maybe-maybe I could use that talk during lunch. I need a place to get away and talk." Elsa said, averting her eyes away from him.
"Of course." Kristoff replied, before turning to face the teacher who presented himself to the classroom that Elsa didn't realize had filled up.
Math had went by agonizingly slow. Elsa didn't think she had ever heard such a monotone voice, but God did that teacher prove her wrong.
"So how do you like him?" Kristoff laughed, catching up to Elsa on the way out.
The blonde sighed, shaking her head as she laughed. "He is nice, don't get me wrong. But oh my god that voice."
Kristoff let out a hearty laugh, his hand on Elsa's back. "It doesn't get any better, trust me."
Elsa shook her head and laughed softly, walking with Kristoff to the campus. "You're sure you're okay with ditching lunch for me?" Elsa asked, feeling a little guilty for taking him away.
"Hey, of course I'm okay with it." He reassured the girl, nudging her with his arm.
Where did you get such nice friends?
The pair had found themselves some shade under a towering oak tree near the gym fields. The forest behind had held the clearing where her and Anna had skipped just the day before.
"Are you okay? You're really starting to scare me Els." Kristoff said, clearly concerned.
"I'm alright, I think." Elsa sighed, "I don't know Kristoff. I keep telling myself everyday that I'm okay. That if I just take it slowly than everything will fall into place but it doesn't seem to be working very well. It's like the world just keeps throwing me in these situations and I keep royally fucking up not just my life, but everybody else's too." The blonde was playing with a piece of grass at her side, looking anywhere but at Kristoff.
"Is this about Anna?" The boy asked, placing his hand on Elsa's shoulder.
"How-how did you know about Anna and I?"
"It's pretty obvious." Kristoff smiled, "Plus she told me she liked you. She really likes you Elsa and when Anna likes somebody, she is one hundred percent dedicated to them and will do anything, whatever it takes to make them happy."
And you're taking her for granted. Pulling her one way and pushing her the other.
Elsa didn't know what to say, her eyes were still fixated on the piece of grass she held between her fingers.
"You aren't fucking up. You're afraid and Anna knows that. Hell we have all been through shit and we have stuck together through everything so Anna knows what she's getting herself into."
This caused Elsa to look up at Kristoff, who had a painful expression on his face. "Kristoff? What happened to you when you were little?" The blonde asked carefully.
Kristoff let out a sigh and closed his eyes. "Do you have Sven with you?" He asked, playing with his fingers.
Elsa quietly opened her bag and pulled the plush out, handing it to him.
"Thank you." The boy replied, holding Sven in his hands. "I know Anna will be able to help you, because she helped me. You see when I was younger, my parents were really into drugs. They gave me Sven and whenever they would use, they told me to close my eyes and Sven would make everything better, all the bad things would be gone." Kristoff's voice broke, his knuckles white around Sven's body. "Well they passed away and left me alone. I would hold Sven and picture us together as a happy family because he was all I had left. But when I met Anna, she became my family. She made it her mission to make me feel loved and wanted and-and she didn't make me feel so alone." The boy wasn't looking at Elsa anymore, his eyes were closed as his bottom lip quivered. "So please Elsa, let her help you. Let all of us help you because God do I know what it feels like to be alone and I don't want you to feel that way."
Elsa didn't know what to say as she moved closer to Kristoff, laying a comforting hand upon his own as the two sat in silence.
You have a lot of thinking to do Ice Queen.
Elsa managed to avoid Anna at all costs the rest of the day, despite the lingering looks she could feel every time they passed each other.
Just don't look. Keep your head down.
The only thing that kept Elsa going was the thought of video games after school. God knows the blonde needed some distraction before she went absolutely crazy.
"Elsa!" Rapunzel called out, jogging up too her with Eugene and Kristoff following.
"Are you ready to get your scrawny, little ass kicked?" Eugene laughed as they reached the blonde, "because Kristoff and I are video game masters and you stand absolutely no chance."
Elsa laughed, shaking her head at the boys.
"Don't even listen to them, Els. We so have this." Rapunzel giggled, lacing her fingers between Eugene's and linking her arm between Elsa's. "Let's go!"
Once they got to Eugene's room, Elsa marveled at his fascination with video games. The dorm room was filled with all sorts of different posters, some of them Elsa recognizing like Bioshock, Fallout, and of course Elsa's favorite; Elder Scrolls. Besides the posters, Elsa's attention fell on the desk that held Eugene's Xbox and Playstation; along with a variety of different games.
"Wow Eugene, you have got a lot of video games." The blonde pointed out, her fingers running over the cases.
"You should see my at home collection if you think that's impressive." The boy boasted, flashing a crooked smile as he sat down on his bed.
"If it counts for anything, I'm a big fan of Legend of Zelda." Elsa admitted, sitting down besides Kristoff.
The blonde boy beside her let out a gasp and hugged her. "Thank you! Nobody likes the classics anymore."
Rapunzel, Eugene and Elsa all burst out laughing as Kristoff blushed at his sudden outburst.
"Let's just play." Kristoff said, sitting down on the floor in front of the television.
"Alright kiddos, we will start off basic with some Call of Duty because it's everybody's guilty pleasure." Eugene said as he handed all of us a controller, the Xbox symbol flashing on the television.
"Oh come on!" Elsa yelled, way too into the game in front of her. "I totally shot you!"
They had been playing for a good hour, Elsa mind completely distracted as she shot at the other players.
"Easy there, blondie. Remember, you're playing with the masters." Kristoff laughed, gently nudging into her.
Rapunzel and Elsa both grunted at the boys boasting, their eyes fixated on the video game.
Knock knock knock
Three distinct knocks rapped on the door before the door handle turned.
"Room for one more?" A nervous voice asked before stepping inside.
Fuck.
"Oh, Anna! What a surprise." Rapunzel smiled, motioning for the redhead to come in.
"Rapunzel." Elsa hissed, standing up. "You promised me that this would be a distraction."
"Els come on, you need to talk about this." The brunette said softly, "and Anna just wants to help. We all do, but Anna will help the best."
"I don't want Anna's help. I thought you were my friend. That I could trust you." Elsa scoffed, pushing past the girls into the hallway.
"Elsa no, wait please." Anna begged, following behind. "What did I ever do to you? Why are you pushing me away?"
"Enough Anna! Just enough. You don't get it. I came to this school to get away from my past, to try and forget. But with you, when I'm with you, people stare. They stare and they talk and they bully me. I can't keep going through that!" Elsa yelled, not caring about the volume of her voice in the thankfully empty hallway.
Anna physically winced at the words flowing from the blonde's mouth, but stood her ground.
"Who cares! Who cares Elsa! You need help! You need people and I know deep fucking down that you need me!" The redhead yelled back, tears escaping her eyes as her voice cracked.
You do. You do need her you fucking idiot.
"I don't need you! I don't need you Anna because you will only bring my past back. Do you not understand? My parents don't want me because I like girls and God all I fucking want is my parents back, how will me falling in love with you help my chances?!" Elsa shouted, blinking back her tears.
Anna stepped forward, cornering Elsa in the hallway.
"You think I don't know that you want them back?! I want my parents back too Elsa! You aren't the only fucking person here with a problem but you are the only person that refuses to let anybody help!"
Elsa didn't have anything else to say. Her eyes were wide open as the realization, the selfish realization hit her.
"I-I didn't." Elsa started as Anna backed away.
"That's right. You didn't. You were so worried about your own little world that you forgot to realize that all of your friends, the people who have been here to help make you as comfortable as possible, also have had really fucking bad pasts but no. It's all about Elsa. God I fucking love you but you're too blind to see it." Anna blurted out, her words flowing like vomit from her mouth.
"I'm sorry Anna." Was all Elsa had to say.
Damn fucking right you're sorry. You are literally the most selfish fucking person in this entire world. Why? Because you're too afraid to get help because you're too afraid to hear the truth. That something is wrong, so wrong with you and if you just had somebody to talk too, then maybe things would be better. But no, hold on to that pride that you barely even have and keep shutting them out.
Elsa stood to leave, looking back at all of her friends.
"I'm sorry to all of you."
"Don't be sorry, Elsa. Just let us help or let somebody help." Kristoff stepped forward, opening his arms for Elsa.
As the blonde walked forward to embrace him, she took a look at Anna who only looked away.
"I love you, Elsa. Please.." Anna pleaded, unable to look her in the eyes. "I will do anything, anything to help you. I won't back down that easily."
I know you won't. I'm sorry that I can't be a normal human being and actually let you love me.
"I know, Anna. But I'm sorry. I can't be with you." Elsa regretted the words, but knew deep down that she loved this girl enough to not drag her down with her. "Thank you you guys, I'll find help. Thanks for not giving up on me." Elsa said to her group of friends, who all looked torn between the two girls.
"I'm not going to give up." Anna whispered, looking at Elsa with painful eyes.
"I know." Elsa murmured, looking away.
I don't want you to.
