A/N: I do not own Inglourious Basterds. One review per chapter please!

Brandy Alexander

I walked into my bedroom from my trip to the shower, tossing my towel onto the bed and sighing.

Once again it was pouring outside, the rain slashing against the smeared panes, leaving a loud echo behind.

I sighed, before standing up and walking to my dresser, throwing open the thin curtains.

I looked out of the window, my eyes instantly drawn to motion. Squinting, I watched as Donny emerged from the forest, wearing a stained wife-beater and carrying his baseball bat over his shoulder.

His hair clung to his face and the nape of his neck. He was actually in desperate need of a haircut.

Behind him came Aldo, cracking his knuckles and tossing a baseball in his hand. He was soaked as well, and I grinned slightly. They both looked like kids.

I opened my mouth, breathing on the window until it created a patch of condensation. Using my finger, I drew a small X before looking down again.

Donny was staring right up at me, standing in the middle of the yard. It was only then, that I remembered that I was naked.

I quickly stepped from the window, shutting the curtains and moving back to my bed quickly, grabbing clothes to put on.

As I pulled them on as quickly as possible, there was a knock on the door after about ten minutes had gone by.

Pulling my hair up into a bun, I opened it to find Aldo, standing in the doorway in soaked clothing still.

"Aldo." I breathed, feeling my cheeks burn as I thought about our encounter from the previous day.

Thought about it. Yeah, that was a laugh.

In all honestly, I had awoken at five in the morning to find myself writhing in pleasure in wet panties.

"We gotta talk." he said, pushing his way into my room without so much as an invitation.

I closed the door cautiously behind him, before walking over to the bed and sitting down. Aldo stood at the edge of the bed with his hands behind his back.

"We need to talk about last night." he said, his face completely void of emotion.

As soon as he said it, I felt my face blossom with blood, my cheeks flushing wildly. The powerful nympho from last night was gone, replaced with just me.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" I began, but he cut me off.

"Don't apologize. Elise, you are beautiful. Got that body, don't think you've gone unnoticed in this house. Just last night, I walked into the kitchen and all the guys were talking about just what they'd like to do to that tight little body of yours, including me. But you gotta keep in mind why you're here. I can't have you getting caught up in no relationship or anything."

"It wasn't like that Aldo, I was just...I don't know. I got carried away. It's been so long for me, and I had me shirt off and you were touching me and I just...lost it..." I trailed off, my voice becoming softer and softer with each word.

I dared myself to look up at Aldo, and lifted my head to find him looking down at me.

"How long did you say it was since you last had actual sex?" he asked.

"Awhile." I shrugged.

"And you never climaxed?"

I had never answered his question before, but this time I was left unable to do anything but tell the truth.

"No."

He nodded, before sighing, pursing his lips.

"I didn't just come here to talk about last night." he said finally, after what seemed to be an eternity.

"Oh?" I asked.

"I'm not done training you, but something came up. There's a guy, pretty high up official. If we can get him, we can get an entire battalion, along with locations, information, everything. That's where you come in. We managed to get another woman on our team, but we couldn't get her down here for this."

"So what do you need me to do?" I asked.

"Seduce him. I'm not talking one-night thing, this might take awhile. I need you to get in good with this guy, start talking with him, start finding out things, you know."

"What makes you think that he would be interested in me?"

"He's got a thing for French women. Not to mention a woman with your reputation."

"He's heard of me?"

"You'd be hard pressed to find a man down here that hasn't. Because of that we need to be extremely careful."

"Meaning?"

"I'll let you know later. Get some food then come out in the woods with us."

"'Us''?"

"All the guys. We need to disguise the game plan and when we're going to leap into action."

With that he turned around, opening the door and leaving it open behind him after departing the room.

I looked down at the floor, biting my lip.

I had to know I would be doing something other than trying to get information out of guys. I suppose that it would only make sense.

A mission. That was what he had called it. I sort of felt like some kind of secret agent, A Parisian informant of sorts.

But how the heck was I supposed to seduce a man? They always came to me, not the other way around. Not to mention I hadn't really been intimate with a guy in so long. Perhaps that had been the reason Aldo asked me so much about my sex life.

I sighed, looking down at my pants and standing up. I wanted to not worry about it, but it was pretty hard not to.

Grabbing a binding, I put up my hair before walking to the door, neglecting to bring my weapons. I hardly doubted that Aldo was going to try and spar with me while the entire household was there.

I made my way down the stairs, not even watching where I was going. Before I knew what was happening, I skipped a step and felt myself thrown down the remaining steps painfully.

Every single movement jarred my body. I hit my shins, my elbows, my back, and all the parts of my body that had been bruised the previous day.

"Fuck!" I screamed, coming to rest on my back at the base of the staircase. I stared up at the ceiling, before I heard heavy footsteps.

"C'mon." a voice said, grabbing my by my arms and lifting me up.

I turned around to find Donny, brushing a bit of dirt from my shoulder and immediately I began to blush wildly.

"Thanks." I muttered, feeling my heart thump marvelously. So now I had offended him, flashed him, and falling in front of him. This was turning out well.

"You okay?" he asked.

I nodded, and crossed my arms, stepping forward and limping slightly.

"If it your ankle?" he asked, putting a large hand on my shoulder.

"No it's my knee. Banged it up yesterday and today." I shrugged.

"Oh. Do you want some ice or something?"

"No I'm fine." I said, looking down again.

I walked in silence towards the front door, and Donny followed behind quickly. As we made our way out, he cleared his throat, before falling into step with me.

"I meant to tell you, I'm sorry about the other day. When you asked me about helping you toughen up, and I kind of snapped."

"Oh, it's alright." I replied, slightly surprised by his comment.

"I didn't really know what you meant at first, but later Aldo told me you just wanted to buck up. I didn't mean to jump down your throat, it's just when I was a kid my dad used to beat the shit out of my mom."

At this I swallowed. So now would definitely be the wrong time to tell him what I had really wanted him to do, and that wasn't toughening me up. I had say though, I was shocked Aldo had lied for me. He knew fully well what I meant, so why had he stuck his neck out for me?

The inquiries in my head silenced as we reached the forest behind the house. Donny stepped past the line of trees first, and I followed.

Immediately, the gray light outside disappeared, and it was almost impossible to see. The smallest amounts of light trickled through the thick trees, but on a bright side the ground was for the most part dry.

"You alright?" Donny asked as I grunted, tripping over an unseen branch.

I grasped his arm to steady myself, and to my surprise he stopped, putting an arm around my waist and grabbing one of my hands.

"Takes some getting used to. Even when it's sunny our you can barely see in here." he said.

I didn't say anything as I felt my face heat up, and was eternally grateful that he couldn't see just ho badly I was blushing right now.

"Slow." he muttered, pulling me back slightly as I began to quicken my pace.

I did as told, slowing my footsteps as we moved over several large branches. I leaned closer into Donny, loving the feel of having his arm around me.

As we continued deeper into the forest, a small amber glow shone through a couple of trees. As we retreated further, the thick smell of smoke hit my nostrils. We came closer, and the temperature rose immensely.

To my dismay, Donny removed his arm as the light brightened and it became easier to see. Stepping into a clearing, a majority of the guys in th house were sitting around a large fire, Aldo pacing around its center.

Donny walked away from me, moving to the other side and I cautiously stepped into the clearing, ignoring the looks I could feel coming from the guys.

I moved and sat down just close enough I could feel the heat of the fire but it wasn't searing.

"Everybody here?" Aldo asked.

There was no response, which we all assumed to mean yes.

"Alright. Got something here. I know y'all heard of Officer Walter Janussein. We got confirmation that he's in Paris now. Now, getting this guy, would probably be our best capture besides Hitler. He's got information. Names, places, plans, everything."

"So how you want to do this?" one of the guys asked, sitting up.

"Well Omar, that's where our newest addition to the team comes in."

Aldo turned,looking at me head-on, and I felt the heat of a dozen stares upon me. I focused my attention directly on Aldo, ignoring the other stares.

"Elise here, is a perfect example of the kind of girl Janussein would be interested in. Young, French, really good looking. There's this thing coming up in two days. Those fuckers love having a party. Elise and Donny, you two are going to show up together, pretending to be husband and wife."

"Wait, I thought she was supposed to be seducing him." Donny said, stepping forward.

"Pretend you're a man of power Donowitz. You want an easily accessible girl, or a beauty that you get to chase after?"

Donny nodded in understanding, before urging Aldo to continue.

"Elise, it shouldn't be too hard for you to get under this guy. Right under his skin. You need to make sure that whatever you do, he calls you the next morning for a visit."

'Wait, how's that going to work out? I mean, he's just going to come here?" I asked.

"No, no, no. Got that taken care of. Buddy of mine has got a place up in France you two could stay. Take a couple of the other guys with you, I'll be coming up to check on things. Now, Elise I need you to get as much information as you can from this guy. Once we feel like we've gotten everything we need, we take him out."

"And how do you do that?"

"Leave that up to me. Now, we'll get the details inside. Donny and Elise, I got profiles for you. You'll be going by Marion and Gilles DeGoad. I'll brief you inside, same with everyone else. Any questions?"

No one said anything, and Aldo put his hands on his hips.

"Alright, time to start Nazi hunting."


"Okay, Donowitz, your new name is Gilles DeGoad. Your father was a farmer, you're a self-made man. Owner of a wine company. When you were 23, you met Marion here, a student at an all-girls school. You two married right as soon as she graduated, two kids. Marion, you come from an aristocratic family, dating back to relations to Louis XVI. As of now, your parents are dead, making you and your siblings the heirs of the family. You live in Paris, and your sisters and brothers are scattered all over Europe. Any questions?"

"Yeah, where did you come up with these aliases?" I asked.

"Used to belong to someone who's dead. Great thing is, no one knows. Any relevant questions?" Aldo asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked between Donny and I.

I didn't say anything, blushing as he basically implied my question was worthless. Donny said nothing either, only sat back in his chair and put his hands behind his head.

"When do we leave?" he asked.

"I want you two to get up to the house tomorrow." Aldo replied.

"Sounds good." Donny said, looking over at me and giving me a small smile.

I replied by lowering my head, giving him a sly glance.

"Bastards, good will hunting."


Brandy Alexander

One part Cognac

One part brown Creme de Cocoa

One part Half-and-Half Cream

*Shaken*

Served straight up with a sprinkle of nutmeg