The Mall
A/N: I'm so glad there are people who find these little do-dads at all entertaining. Thanks so, so much for the reviews. I love 'em!
Enjoy…
"Angelus!"
"Finally!"
"I'm not buying these."
"No, you're not."
"…I'm not?"
"Of course not. I'm buying them for you."
"No, Angelus."
"Yes, Buffy."
"They're too small."
"No such animal."
"I won't wear them."
"You won't?"
"I'll look like a tramp."
"And?"
"And…and that's bad. Being a tramp is a bad thing."
"Are you a tramp?"
"I…no…"
"Then what do you care if people think you're a tramp?"
"…I…"
"That's what I thought."
"Angelus. I don't like them."
"I don't remember asking."
"I will find a way not to wear them."
"Ooh, daring."
"I'll…I'll eat a lot. I'll get fat."
"If that's what you want…"
"Then you won't want me to wear them."
"Oh, really?"
"Okay, I'll…I'll flaunt them. Yeah! I'll wear 'em around Xander, and he'll get all hot."
"Nah, Xander and I have come to an understanding."
"An understanding?"
"Yeah, if he so much as breathes on you in more than a friendly manner, I'll peel his skin off and feed it to him."
"Oh, my God."
"Besides, Xander's got more of a crush on the lesbian, anyway."
"Oh, please. He's madly in love with me. And for the 800th time, Willow is not a lesbian."
"Okay, sure she's not."
"She isn't. She's in love with Oz."
"Oz left."
"Yes, but Oz will come back. Mark my words. He will come back."
"Aw, you're so cute when you're naïve."
"Whatever, Angelus."
"Although, I do believe you'll look cuter in…this little number."
"Oh, my God. No, Angelus!"
"Why not? It's great."
"It's leopard-print!"
"Yes…"
"And leather!"
"Yes…"
"And horrible!"
"Exactly."
"What?"
"I said, 'Exactly'. Are you having trouble hearing, dear?"
"You want me to wear horrible clothes?"
"Little bit, yeah."
"Why?"
"Well, frankly, I can't see you going out of the house wearing any of the things I've picked out for you."
"Ah, we finally agree on something."
"And so, you will wear them, and you will not leave the house."
"What?"
"'You will wear them and not leave the house.' Really, Buffy, you should get that checked out."
"You just want me to stay at your place?"
"I think once you're sleeping there every night and eating there every day, it's considered your place, too."
"Not what I asked."
"It's none of your concern why I do the things I do, Buffy. I'm done discussing this."
"Aw, you want me to stay with you."
"I'm done, Buffy."
"Of course you are, you big softie."
"I know you did not just utter those words in my presence."
"Of course I didn't, you hunk of huggable teddy bear, you."
"You are trying my patience, Buffy."
"Oh, I'm sorry, my sweet, little cupcake."
"All right, that's it! I'm not getting the clothes!"
"What? Why?"
"I don't care if you're home or not! It makes no difference to me at all! I don't care when you come or go. In fact, just stay out! Go crazy! Never come home! That's fine!"
"But, Angelus."
"No! My mind is made up! You're not getting the clothes! Deal with it!"
"Where are you going?"
"To my car!"
"Am I coming with you?"
"I. Don't. Care!"
"Okay, I'll be there in a second."
"Fine, whatever!"
"So, Angelus-500 million; Buffy-1. Score."
Yay, Buffy! I felt it was time for her to bring home a victory against the big ol' scourge.
As always, please review. And, hey, if you've got a topic or situation or anything that you'd enjoy seeing Buffy and Angelus discuss, let me know. It could very well happen. Thanks, lovelies!
