Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar. Take my original ideas! I insist! Also spoiler alert for the ending of the Avatar series and bending secrets that it unleashes (duh). If you haven't watched the ending of the series (which why wouldn't you have, reading this) then don't read this.
The Past:
I'm three. "Hey dad! Do you think that one day I'll help the Earth Kingdom beat the Fire Nation? When I grow up, I want to be a soldier!" I ran around him in circles as he sat in his chair. My mother, Sela and my father, Gansu, were both sitting in our house around the fireplace. It's winter and because we live neither very north nor south, it wasn't very cold. The sun was setting.
My father laughed and gave me a smile. "Come here." He said and then patted his knee. I hopped up to his lap and stared up at him. "You shouldn't be thinking about the war yet. You're too young to get caught up in something so sad." His expression drastically changed as he explained this. I could see his face fall a bit and although I didn't know it at the time, he was correct.
"Aww…But daaaaad, I want to be super strong and protect people, just like the army!" I protested. I corssed my arms and pouted slightly. He laughed again.
"I guess that wouldn't be so bad. But trust me, you don't want to get caught up in the war, you hear? I don't want to talk about it anymore." He was still smiling and then he patted my head.
"Ok. Hey can you tell me about Avatar Kyoshi again? I love hearing her stories." I looked up at my father again. He gave me another big smile.
"Ok." He said. "There was once an Avatar, but she was unlike any other Avatar! For you see, this Avatar had the biggest feet of any Avatar ever! And it served her well in her adventures…"
I loved hearing these stories.
I'm six. "Hey mom, why is your belly growing? Are you getting fatter?" I said one night as we finished supper. We were clearing the table. She looked down at me whilst washing our dirty plates.
"No, Sensu, I'm just having a baby, that's all." She moved on to the next plate and put the washed one aside.
"Huh? How do you do that? Where did it come from? When will I have a younger sibling?" I took the clean plate pile and put them into the cupboard.
She chuckled a small and soft, kind chuckle. "So many questions huh? I promise you'll learn when you're older, but for now let's say that your sibling is coming in a few weeks." She patted my head and continued her washing.
"Huh? But whyyyyyy? I wanna know now." I stomped in protest.
"Hey come on now, we can't have you all pouty now can we? You'll learn later, but not now. Trust me." I was still not convinced why I shouldn't know now, but I gave up for the time being. I'll get it out of her soon, I assumed.
"Ok…Hey what're you gonna name it?" I said as putting more dishes away. She started washing bowls now.
"I'm not sure, it depends on the baby being a boy or girl, so no decisions yet. Oh dear!" She collapsed to the ground and was on her knees. The bowl she was washing dropped and shattered against the wooden floor. "Sensu, go get your father right away!"
"Mom! Are you ok? DAD! SOMETHING'S WITH MOM!" I shouted. I didn't want to leave my mother's side while she seemed to be in pain.
She crawled over on her back and looked at me. "It's ok Sensu." She said. "I'm fine, go get your father ok dear?" she was giving me a smile but something was off, because it looked like she was suppressing a cringe.
"Ok, mom I'll be right back." I ran outside to where my father was just closing up the barn and pigpens for the day. "Dad!" I yelled and kept running at him.
He looked tired but he was still happy; satisfied with a day of hard, but rewarding, work. "What's up Sensu? What's wrong?" He pulled me into a hug and I looked up.
"There's something wrong with mom!" I said. Immediately I saw a change in his mood from relaxing after a day of hard work to reinvigorated determination. He had a very serious tone in his voice now.
"Sensu, I want you to go run into town and get a doctor right away." I nodded still looking up at him but disconnected from the hug.
"What's wrong? Will mom be ok?"
"Yes she will; looks like the baby has come a few weeks early. Has your mother told you about her belly?"
I nodded again, turned around, and ran as fast as I could to town. There were some soldiers hanging around the bar but I paid them no mind. Instead, I ran toward the main shop. Right next to the shop was a small clinic where the town doctor lived and helped sick people. I knocked on the door, opened it and went in. The doctor and his apprentice were treating a man with a fever. He was lying on a bed.
"Doctor! Come quick! My mom's having a baby!" He turned to look at me and looked at his apprentice.
"You look after this man. You—" He pointed at me. "Lead me to your mother. Let's make haste." We ran out the door back toward the pig farm.
A few hours later, the baby was born. The doctor looked satisfied with his work. "It's a boy!" he proclaimed. "He's perfectly healthy and your wife appears to be fine, but I suggest she rest for a day or two. This might have been slightly traumatic, because of the pain." He whispered to my father. Even though he was speaking quietly, and I wasn't even close to them I could hear every word. I just wrote it off at the time.
I was glad to meet my new baby brother. My mother was holding him. "He looks so cute. Can I hold him?" She looked at me, nodded and held him out for me to take. I held him in my arms with extreme care. My father walked over with the doctor and we all looked at the newborn. It was bliss for a small time and then the doctor broke the silence.
"What are you going to name him? I'm always curious to know the names of babies I deliver." My mother and father looked at each other and I handed my mom back the baby. My father put his arm around my mom and then around me. We all looked down at the baby as my father said:
"Lee. I want his name to be Lee." My mother looked my father and they had an invisible conversation.
"I think Lee is a great name. So noble and handsome, I think."
I'm ten. Lee is four. "Dad do you think if I try hard enough, I'll be able to bend earth?" I shoved my fist out to mimic an earthbender I once saw at a traveling circus once. I continued the charade jumping and making air punches, until my father scolded me.
"Sensu, get back to work, I need help harvesting our crops. Earthbending, or any bending is silly. I don't want you caught up in it; it just sires wars." He picked up the hoe I had laid on the ground moments before and tossed it to me. "Come here."
"But dad, wouldn't it be so cool? I could be kinda like Avatar Kyoshi, just like in those stories you told me when I was a kid." I caught the hoe and half—heartedly got back to work. "The Avatar is so cool, he can bend all of the elements."
"Don't tell me you actually believe that stuff. The Avatar, if he, she, it, even existed was killed a long time ago. You can't expect it to come magically back and save the world. You have to work for your own results." He was gathering sunflowers. "I don't want to see you trying to earthbend again." He lowered his voice, "Because if you were an earthbender you'd be taken you away 'for the war they'd say.' I don't want that."
"Ok, sure whatever." I kept gathering sunflowers.
It was that night. I didn't heed my dad's advice, and I was outside. I was still trying to earthbend, but to no avail.
"Come on earth, Bend!" I did another air punch trying to feel control of the earth. Nothing happened for a few more air punches but then I got something. I felt like I had a grip on the earth, and there was a small clump of earth starting to rise. nOt exactly what the circus performer did, but at least I was getting somewhere. "Sweet! I can do it!" Then it started to hurt, everything hurt.
"Augh! It hurts everywhere! Ow! Ow!" I dropped to my knews and the earth fell too. I couldn't see, my head hurt too much to focus. I heard nothing, then footsteps.
"Sensu? What are you doing out here at this hour? What's wrong?...Oh gods, your eyes!" I felt my mother's warm embrace and returned a hug. "Shh, it's ok, it's ok. Sensu, you're all right." I felt a rising sensation and realized I was being lifted off of the ground by my mother. I got a blast of warmth a few moments after and inferred I was back inside the house.
"What's wrong with him?" My father said.
"I think…no he couldn't have been correct right? It was just stories." My mother said.
"No…no it can't be, I'll show you. Sensu open your eyes." I did as he told, realizing that my eyes have been closed for a while, and opened my eyes. I saw my mother and father there as usual, but I was still in pain.
"Oh, gods! He was right!" My father said. Both my parents took a step back.
"What? Dad why does it hurt? What's wrong with me?"
I blacked out.
I awoke the next morning still in pain and walked to the kitchen where my mother was making breakfast and my father was playing with my brother, Lee at the table. Immediately my father looked up and scrutinized me for a split second. His expression was neutral during that time, but quickly changed to be soft and kind. "Ahh, Sensu, you're awake. Sit down we're about to have breakfast."
I walked over to the table, pulled out a chair and sat. "Sela, you mother is making muffins your favorite." I staredat him for a moment and then looked at my mom who also offered a smile and kind expression.
"Look, let's not pretend that last night didn't happen. What's going on? Why are you acting like everything is normal?" I folded my hands and assumed a serious expression, which contrasted greatly with my parents happy demeanor. The said nothing and looked at each other. "Well?" I said.
My father looked at me and dropped the fake happiness he had earlier. "Ok, you remembered. I was hoping to spare you a few years at least, after I discovered your…bending…last night."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Just as I entertained my son with stories, so did my father, and his father and so on." He paused for dramatic effect, although it seemed unintentional. "My father told me stories of our ancestors, like I told you stories of Avatar Kyoshi. He said that every so often in our family one was born with the power to bend all four elements, although not entirely, for the bending would be concentrated in one element. I thought these were just children's stories. I was a child when I heard it. Continuing with his story, he says this ability would cause great pain, both physical and mental. You want to know why I'm so disdainful of bending and the Avatar actually being real?"
I nodded my head. He sighed and looked me in the eye. "My father said those who were born with this ability were cursed by the Avatar long ago. They were cursed to kill the Avatar and keep killing each reincarnation until the person grew old, or die by the Avatar's hand. That's why I don't want you getting caught up in bending. Because every bender in our family was cursed, according to my father."
"But you said those were children's stories; they couldn't be true." I said, trying to hide my fear.
"That's what I thought too, but now…now I just fear the worst."
I'm twelve. Lee is six. "Hey Lee, do you know where my katana went?" I said crouching to meet his eyes at his level. He shook his head, but I knew he was lying. "Come on Lee, I don't care if you took it, just tell me where it is if you did so." He looked to the door on his right, which was our room.
"It's under my bed. I'm sorry big brother, I just wanted to play a bit." He folded his hands behind his back and rocked back and forth on his heels.
"Lee it's ok, but I don't want you to hurt yourself in the future. So I want you to ask next time." I stood up and started walking away. "Oh and one more thing, go get the sword and meet me outside in a few minutes. I'm going to teach you how to use it." I turned around to see his reaction, but he was so excited that he ran into our room before I could see anything. I chuckled a bit. "That excited huh? I just want to show him how to use it properly so he doesn't hurt himself…" I said to myself under my breath.
I showed things like this to him all the time. I loved every second with my brother, teaching him how to swing a sword.
I'm fourteen. Lee is eight. "Hey Sensu, can you go into town and pick up some fruits for dinner? Here's some money." My mother said as she handed me some coins. "Oh and can you take Lee with you too please? I think he would like to get out of the house." Upon hearing his name Lee popped his head into the room. He gave a toothy grin and ran over to me.
"Oh can I? Please, please, pleasepleaseplease!" Lee ran over and stared at me. This was before he started to lose his baby teeth. I laughed and patted his head.
"I haven't even said 'no' yet. Of course you can come." I turned around and started to walk out of the room.
"Yay!" I heard him shout of joy and then he ran around ahead of me. "Come on hurry up! We want to be back before sunset." He ran around like little kids always do. They have too much energy, but it was cute in a way. The sunflower field was behind us and the pigs were in the pig pen ahead of us. As usual, they squealed loudly as we walked by. We had a small pig farm (with all sorts of pigs) in the plains of the Earth Kingdom. It wasn't fancy or really big, but it was enough to feed us and to feel cozy at the same time. The path to town was made of dirt and long, so Lee did have a point.
We were a little ways down the road and I turned around once more to make sure we wouldn't be overheard by our parents. When I made sure we were far enough I turned forward again. "Ok, so why do you want to come along so badly? It's a little unlike you, and no I don't have enough money for a treat." I said, looking at my younger brother.
"I want to see my friends in town, and maybe pull a prank on the soldiers!" He said strutting in pride already for his future 'accomplishments'. I rolled my eyes.
"Lee, it's not nice to throw an egg in their faces, even if they are bullies."
"But Dad said they deserved it! He said it himself!" Lee turned around and crossed his arms.
"Lee, what he said was true but that does mean it necessarily has to happen, even if it is justified. You need to learn to avoid those idiots rather than pick fights with them every chance you get." He said nothing but turned around and pouted a little. I could see he had completely disregarded my advice and was still planning to throw eggs at the soldiers. Ah, he'll be alright, and I can pull him out of trouble if I need to.
"Hey brother, I have a present for you!" Lee pulled a small book out of his pocket. I was no more than a few pages think and no bigger than my hand.
"What is…? Where did you get the paper…?" I took the book in my hand and opened it. I was drawings and descriptions of the sword techniques I had taught him. For such a little kid, he was excellent at drawing. "You know what Lee! Thank you! I love it." I put the book in my pocket.
We were approaching the town and it was nearly sunset. I wanted to get to the market before all the shops closed, so I ran to the center of town.
"Hey where are you going?!" Lee protested.
"Haha, catch me if you can little brother!" I shouted over my shoulder.
"Hey no fair! I'm gonna win!" I heard his footsteps behind me getting louder by the second. He ran ahead of me to the market. I kept running after him until we got to the market.
"Looks like you win Lee." I said putting my hands on my knees to catch my breath. I recovered quickly though and surveyed the surroundings. There were two fruit carts to my left, next to each other. One was closing up, but the other was open. I walked up to the open one with Lee and looked at the fruits.
"Let's see, Mom would like some ash bananas, mangos, and apples." I said picking up a few of each fruit I listed. "Oh dang, we forgot the basket, Lee do you think you could run home and get it?"
"Here, you can borrow mine." I heard a slightly horse old voice say from behind me. I whipped around to see an old man standing behind me and my brother. He held his hand out towards us, with the basket in it. I took it gingerly, surprised by his kindness and then offered him my thanks.
"Uh, thanks, mister…?"
"Oh I forgot to introduce myself. How clumsy of me. I'm Kazza of the Northern Water Tribe." He smiled toward us. "What's your names?"
"I'm Sensu, and this is my younger brother, Lee. We live down the road on our pig farm." I put the fruits in the basket without taking my eyes off of the older man.
"Hey!" said Lee. "Do you have a place to stay and eat? You could come eat dinner with us!" he looked up at me for approval.
"I agree, after we must repay you for your kindness." I held the basket up to signify what I was talking about.
"I actually don't have a place to stay for the night, so I'll have to take you up on that offer." He held out his hand for me to shake it, and I did. "Thank you."
"It's no problem, oh!" I turned around and grabbed another few fruits. "I forgot the moon peaches."
After I had put the peaches in the basket I paid the vendor and the three of us left, down the road back to the farm. We arrived just after the sunset and I smelled dinner cooking. It was Roast duck and noodle soup, by the aroma that wafted through the doorway in the house. My father was waiting outside the house for us.
"Oh who is this?" he asked raising an eyebrow at our new friend.
"This is Kazza, from the Northen Water tribe." I said.
"Nice to meet you." My father said. Kazza said the same and then walked up to my father and shook his hand.
We walked inside and I put the fruits on the table. My mother looked at the basket and then at Lee and me. "This should last us the week. Thank you." Then she noticed Kazza. "Oh a new face…?" She held out her hand and Kazza shook it.
"I'm Kazza."
We got straight to dinner after explaining again why we invited Kazza over. He was very nice, and the whole family seemed to like him. Everything went well.
"So, Kazza, my son says you're from the North Pole. What brings you here?"Kazza paused from eating for a second and swallowed.
"I came to study all forms of bending. You wouldn't believe what I found out." My eyes met my father's.
No.
Dad, I want to know. I need to know
I said NO!
"Um, are you two ok?" My mom said noticing the invisible conversation taking place between my father and I.
"I'm tired and full." I said standing up and leaving the dinner table. "I'm going to bed." My father stood up as well.
"Son, I'm only concerned for your safety. Excuse us." He offered and apologetic expression toward my mother and Kazza. He then ushered me out of the room and out of the house.
"Dad, we know my 'curse' is connected to bending, and I want to fix it as much as you do. What if Kazza knows something? I couldn't hurt to ask." Not more than it already does. I thought.
"It could. I noticed that you changed since that day. You seem to be in pain all the time, am I correct?"
I looked down and didn't answer.
"I suppose that's a yes. You shouldn't delve into this." He put a hand on my shoulder. "Sensu, I want a long happy life for you, ok? You could end up killing yourself through bending. If not by curse, then by fighting. If you the army figures out you're a bender they'll send you off to war for sure."
"You don't want me in the war?"
"I don't want you to die. I don't want you to see the horrors of wars."
I said nothing. I looked at him and walked back into the house.
I didn't care that it hurt me every waking minute. I kept practicing earthbending, but it was to no avail; I couldn't bending anything but a grain of sand.
That night, I was determined to gain that power again, even if it hurt me. I would serve my country, I would protect my family. Protection. That was my drive. As usual, the earthbending was going nowhere, and as usual I was getting frusterated.
"That's not the proper form for an earthbender. Why are you practicing? You obviously cannot bend earth, which I assume you are trying to do."
'Yaack!" I jumped in surprise from his creepy entrance. I whirled around and looked at him. How did he sneak up on me like that?
"Oh, hey Mr. Kazza. How's it, um, going?" I put a hand behind my head. Looks like you caught me. Hahaha.
"I'm well thank you. Please, no formalities with me. It's the least I can do." He walked over to me and looked at my right arm and then my left. He was surprisingly agile for his age, whatever that was. I knew he was very old because of his white hair and wrinkles. "You seem to have good strong arms though, they would make a good pair for an earthbender. But you can't bend, so why try?"
"Whoa, how did you know I was trying to bend anyway, with nothing being bended at all?" I asked him amused.
"I can tell. It's in your eyes. Also, why else would someone be out here making weird motions with their arms? You're not practicing sword play." He walked pack over to the house and looked at a pot full of waste water next to the door. He took his arms and waterbent the water in a stream around him, just like he was dancing with ribbons. He bent the water into one ball in the air above his head. His arms were both raised as he did this, and then he brought them back down. White flakes appeared all over and floated down to the earth where they melted.
"Whoa, what is that?" I asked, never seeing snow before, nor waterbending.
"That was waterbending, I just turned that small ball of water into snow. It wasn't earthbending, but I wanted to show you what real bending looks like." He walked back over to me and put a finger on my chest. "Unfortunately bending is a gift that not all of us received. I'm sorry, just give it up, the only way you could get bending would be through…no, that wouldn't work."
"What?" I said "How do I get bending?"
He shook his head and looked down. "It wouldn't work, but would you like to hear my story anyway? I love telling my stories to people." I nodded my head. "I came across some books somewhere. It was in a library in a desert? …Yes It was in the desert. They spoke of times before the elements were bent. What was it called…hm, energy bending? Spiritbending? I can't remember. Anyway, the people's energies inside their bodies were 'bent' per se and then those people could bend the elements"
I listened to his every word not thinking that he could be lying at all. Well…he didn't, I guess.
"Well that was all and well until that age ended. The spiritbending (yes let's call it that for now) stopped, and the bending of the elements took over. Do you know how bending is passed down between generations?"
I shook my head 'no'.
"The spirit of people who can bend the elements are marked, allowing them to bend. When a child is born, part of each of the parents spirits enter the child, mix and grow into their own spirit. Sometimes the 'mark' stays, and sometimes it doesn't. The only instance where this doesn't happen is with the Avatar's spirit."
So if my dad's spirit was marked with my curse, then so is mine. I thought.
"So if a person has this mark, then it can be taken away, leaving a little space empty in the soul. Not too much though, for the person would die if the mark is taken. But how can this mark be given or lose this mark?" He was smiling, obviously happy at how much he knew and that he was sharing his knowledge. It was very much like a scientist.
"I don't know. How can I get the mark?"
"Well, a spiritbender can give it to you, of course! But humans can never spiritbend it seems so who can? The spirits themselves, or maybe animals who are more connected to the spirits. I learned something else from my research two, and it's about the Avatar."
This was intriguing. "What did you learn?" I said hanging onto his every word.
"The Avatar can bend all four elements right? How he or she ever got this power is still a mystery to us, but if the Avatar can bend all four elements, that shouldn't he or she also be able to spiritbend? My hypothesis was proven correct when I read stories of Avatars' communing and taming spirits." He looked at the horizon.
"There was one instance, long ago when the Avatar did something horribly wrong in spiritbending. The Avatar wanted…well to be blunt, another Avatar. So this Avatar went and tried to spiritbend his best friend into becoming a second Avatar. Unfortunately, this went horrendously wrong; the woman almost died, and gained very weak powers in bending other than her own native bending. She and all her predictors are stuck with this mistake, for remember; the spirit was carried on through reproduction.
That's my Bloodline! That's my great – great – great etc. Grandmother!
"The Avatar calls upon the Avatar spirit for power; the one spirit that's passed through the cycle of reincarnation. But when one has the mark of all four elements, like the Avatar, and no power in their own spirit like the Avatar does, there is an imbalance in this person's soul. Their life force is sucked away at every moment to back this power and it's still not enough. The more this person bends the more life force is sucked away. Anyway, this girl's soul was shattered leaving only darkness behind. She was transformed into, what I call, a Shadowspirit.
"My search for her bloodline lead me here actually. I don't suppose you would know who it is, do you? Or is it your bloodline? Did I stumble upon her decedents like that?"
I nodded. "Yes. This makes perfect sense." My mind was racing with this new information. I fell to my knees. "That's why my eyes turn black when I bend." That's why I can only airbend…er, soundbend? "That's why it hurts…Can you…help me? Please! HELP ME! …it hurts…it hurts so much." I didn't know what I was doing, besides instinct at that point. I looked up I felt glowing…? That feeling always over took me but I never noticed it until behind the pillar. My arms extended straight and fire shot out of them, earth and rocks flew up beside and in front of my like gravity was turned off. Water from the pot flew toward me in a broken stream and bounced around me in drops.
Kazza turned around me. "Yes! You are! What stroke of luck! Tell me boy, what is your native element?" he ran over and tried to take me off my knees but a rock hit him and he flew back. He looked up from the ground in pleasure, happy to see the raw power in front of him. "It seems my knowledge was incomplete! Let me study you boy! The Avatar made your race! I'm sure he or she can fix you, but I need to study you!"
My family ran outside hearing the noise and Lee was so terrified that he hid behind our mother. My father ran up to me but stayed behind my bending frenzy. "Son, stop this!"
"No! I can't! I...It hurts!" I shouted at the sky. My father looked at me with worry and then at Kazza with pure hatred.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SON!" My father ran around the bending scene to Kazza and pushed him back to the ground and sat on top of him, his arm holding his neck down. Tears were in my mother's eyes and Lee was still trembling in fear behind her.
Lee. My brother. Lee was afraid of me. I stood up and the earth and water slowly fell. The fire receded from my arms and I looked at my family.
"Lee. Mom. Dad." I looked at my family in ruins because of me. Guilt over took me. "I'm joining the army." I said. It came out of nowhere and it shook everybody out of the trance that we were in. Everybody stared at me.
"I'm joining the army!" shouted again. I ran off "Lee…Mom…Dad…I love you…" I ran off, away from the house, away from my family. The book was still in my pocket.
"Goodbye son…" my father said.
That was the first thing I put on my list of things to feel guilty for.
I walked through the Earth Kingdom, traveling from town to town. I asked around about the library Kazza mentioned; I had resolved to find this before enlisting in the army. Some people said it didn't exsiist. Others said it was in the desert, just like Kazza said, so I went to the desert, it wasn't that far; only a few days walk. Once I reached it, I headed for a town near its outskirts. There was a giant piece of ice in the center of the settlement. I prepared for a long trip by taking a lot of water, food and supplies.
The search of the desert was long and hard as I expected it to be. It took me five days before I ran out of water and then another before I ran out of food. In the middle of the the sixth day I collapsed. In retrospect I should have travelled by night. When I collapsed I saw a tower. Was that the library?
I crawled on my belly over to the tower but my strength ended there. I lost consciousness from the heat.
I awoke in next to the tower with a water pouch in my mouth. I grabbed the pouch with my hands to keep it steady myself. The water was so refreshing that I drank it without looking around or anything. The only thing I could focus on was the water.
After I finish drinking I regained my senses a bit. I realized I was staring a fox in the face.
"Ummm…Hello? Thanks for saving me…" It felt silly thanking a fox for bringing you water, and it felt weird that a fox was out here and smart enough to have water. The fox tilted its head and sat.
"You wanna help me get in? I'll give you a treat or something…What do you say?" The fox stood up and waged its tail. It ran a little ways away from the tower and then turned around and ran back. It didn't stop at the tower, but rather ran up the tower and into a window at the top.
"Huh, I guess I should enter there?" I took a rope and threw it up the tower. It held and I climbed up into the tower. I looked down and saw balconies below me. They were very far away; too far to jump. I was a bit inexperienced in airbending, but…
"Aaaah!" I was falling. The balconies rushed toward me and I put my two hands under me. A large sound was emitted and I landsed with a graceful 'thump'. Much better than getting squished.
I sat there for a moment waiting for the adrenaline to wear off. The fox I saw earlier came up to me and sat.
"Oh you must want a treat huh?...Sorry I don't have any food." I patted the fox's head.
"He won't take only food for a treat. All my foxes like knowledge for a reward too. That is also the fee to enter my library, human." He said the word with such distain. I turned around expecting an old man, but instead I saw a huge owl.
"Yeeep! Um…W-w-what do you m-mean?" I was shaking in fear.
"Don't worry, I won't hurt you. Yet. I mean you need some book, or document, or anything with knowledge to stay here. Otherwise, it'd be best that you leave." The huge owl said. He-She-It walked up to me and lowed it's neck to stare me in the eye. "So tell me human, what do you have for me?"
I searched my pack desperately for something. I don't think this owl was very nice to freeloaders. The only things I had in my pack were a plate, cup and flask. I reached the bottom of the pack and found something. It was the book that Lee had given to me a week ago.
"Yes! Here, it's book with sword play instructions!" I held it out for the owl to take.
"Hmm. I suppose it's good enough. You may stay, however I don't have a very high tolerance for bad behavior from humans. It's only because one of my foxes took a liking to you that you're still alive." The owl swooped its wing over my hand and the book disappeared. The owl turned around and walked away.
The fox nudged my side. I guess it was satisfied with my book as a reward. I stood up and walked around. This library is huge.
After a few hours, or even a few days of searching, (it was impossible to keep track of time in that place; I was very focused on the books) I could find no information on my bloodline. I found theories on the origin of the world; I found stories of humanity before our world; I even found information on something called a 'lion turtle'. Maybe I shouldn't have entered the ancient history section.
There was a book about airbending near the other books I read about. I was focused on soundbending in particular. Maybe I should try a few of these techniques? I thought to myself. I propped the book up against the bookshelf opposite me and moved my body like the pictures in the book. I felt lighter and freer as I moved to the directions of the book. The fox fell asleep while I was practicing and I took advantage of the situation; I pocketed the book. I took a respite aw well and continued my search after I woke up.
"What's this?" I saw a book titled The Four Nations: Strengths and Weaknesses.
Guilty as charged.
I enlisted in the Earth Kingdom's army a week later. I got out of the library with some improvised airbending, and went to the nearest town with a military sign up. By law I was allowed to, because I was fifteen, the minimum age for soldiers. All the while I was fighting I saw things that I wish I didn't. I couldn't get shut of them. I wrote home all the time trying to absolve my guilt, of leaving my family, but got no response. Perhaps the bullies in town intercepted my letters?
Fighting every day in a group with no bending was easy. Hiding my bending was harder but doable. Hiding my fear and guilt was the hardest. One day my platoon was sent to the North Pole to help the Northern Water Tribe. They were being invaded by the Fire Nation that day. All of my comrades knew that were being sent to death. As one of the worst platoons, it was inferred that the Earth Kingdom didn't want us and was just sending us to die under the halfhearted excuse of 'being diplomatic'.
We were captured. At that point I fought hard and unleashed my bending. The pain grew more after that, but I saved half the platoon. They witnessed the Avatar's actions and reported it to the general. I knew it was the Avatar after I heard rumors in the ship that we were being held captive in. I saw through a small window a giant water monster drive the ship away. But the half of my platoon was still in captivity. They said we were to wear Fire Nation uniforms and fight on the front line. With no weapons.
I watched as my comrades got picked off one by one by earthbenders. None of us could bend (except for me of course, but I was hiding my bending) and the firebenders were almost whipping us with their fire from behind. There was no distinguishing factor between us and Fire Nation Soldiers. A few of us tried to run back to our original side, but in the battle that we were placed in there was too many people between us. The ones that ran…well giant rocks can squish people. I try not to think about that.
I never should have signed up for this. By fighting this war I was contributing to something; I was contributing to the ruins of civilization. I could see it, if the war didn't end soon, it would tear the world apart. Thing three on the 'guilt list'.
Suddenly in the middle of the battle a rock fell behind me. It separated me from the firebenders behind me. An idea popped in my head; I ran to my left and took a spear from a dead soldier and then fell in line with the other soldiers. Some of them saw me run out from behind the rock but didn't say anything. Some time later I stole a uniform and changed clothes away from the battle.
We won the battle after three days.
When we got back to the ship, I knew I was in for it. While I was able to fake my identity as a Fire Nation soldier in battle, it would be near impossible to continue the charade the deeper in I got. Before we got onto the ship, the commanding officer lined us up. We were lined up in rows of seven just far enough apart for him to walk in between us. He walked through every row in a snake – like way. Two times he walked by me with no problem, but on the third pass he glanced at me, did a double take and backtracked to stand in front of me.
"I've never seen you before. Are you lost?" He looked down at me and sneered. I shook my head.
"Listen runt, I ain't seen ya before, and I know the names and faces of all my soldiers. So let me ask you again. Are you lost?" I shook my head again. "Alright. You two," he pointed to the Fire Nation soldiers to my sides "Bring him with me."
"Well." He said. We were in his quarters and he was sitting on a small chair near the back of the room. The two fire nation soldiers held my arms behind me and threw me to the ground.
I turned to look at them and considered spitting but quickly disregarded the idea. I rose to my knees and then stood up.
"Are you going to explain yourself or do we need to beat it out of you?" He said. He stared at me, which was very intimidating.
But I wasn't intimidated, I was determined. What should I say to him? I still had the firebender uniform on. I gave the commander a Fire Nation salute. "Sir!" I said. "I got separated from my Fire Nation Colony family a while back and an earth kingdom family took me in." I was choking on each word and they noticed.
"Uh, huh. Look kid your sob story isn't going to cut it. You're just a firenation soldier wannabee from the colonies. The army has no need for worms like you. I want you sent back to…where's the nearest one? Yu Dao? Get out of my sight!" The guards lifted me up by my soldiers and walked out.
I was 'guided' to Yu Dao. Well not exactly where I want to be, but better than prison or war. At least they let me keep my uniform; I'm sure it will come in handy later on. I was duped at the gates by the army, so I proceed to walk inside. I have nothing to lose right?
"Hey there!" I walked by a food stand. Today's menu was…meat. Ok. "You want the best Bar-B-Q in town you got I right here soldier." He winked at me and then pointed to a door on the building behind him.
"Thanks but I really need to get goi-" He held out his arm in front of me to stop me from passing. "Come on man, let me pass."
"Sorry kid." He pulled me in a whispered; "I can tell you're not fire nation so why don't you come on in. I'll make it worth your time." His face told me all I needed to know, if I wasn't walking in there by choice it was going to be by force. I considered using my…abnormal bending powers, but decided it wasn't worth it. I walked into the building.
"Sensu!" A man was sitting in a chair in the corner. I didn't recognize him at first but then I saw who he was.
"Kazza? How on earth did you find me?" I was more shocked than outraged or fearful.
"It wasn't easy but I have my sources. Like that nice man outside, his family is loyal to the previous avatar. Believe it or not a lot of families are…if you know where to look." He stood up and came over to me. "It's been so long. I saw you in the North Pole and I thought that you were gone once you got captured but I paid these nice people and got you here." He embraced me, but I didn't return it.
"Who did you pay? Why didn't you just save me, gee I don't know AT THE NORTH POLE? Do you realize what happened to me? My comrades…" I couldn't think about it and I disengaged form him and turned away.
"Sensu…It's been a long time but I couldn't have helped you. By the time I found out, it was too late. Remember those soldiers who brought you here? One of them was on our side, I have paid her to protect you in every way I can since you got captured. Why do you think you still have that uniform?" he pointed to my attire. He did make a valid point, but why does he care?
"Why? Why did you do all this?" I shouted at him.
"For your family. I couldn't stand to see you separated from your family. That and I want to research you…" He shouldn't have said that last part. I now knew what emotion to feel. Wrath.
"You think I'm only good enough as some weird bear you see at the circus. You want to see how I can stand on my hind legs and then cast me aside for the next animal!" I turned away from him and started to walk out the door. He ran after me.
"Wait! Maybe that's true but I still want you to be happy, I—" The sound of explosions and crashed interrupted Kazza and echoed through the plaza. Everyone was still for a second and then another explosion; a giant rock hit a building a few alleys to my left.
"Doesn't matter now I guess come with me!" Kazza and I ran through the streets to exit of the town.
"Wait!" a soldier grabbed my shoulder from behind and stopped me. "The building that was holding all the other soldiers was crushed by a giant rock! We think that the Earth Kingdom is attacking!" what? Why would they…?
"What do you want me to do?" I noticed two other soldiers behind him. "lead you into battle?"
"Yes, we heard our new captain was being transferred here today, and I saw you walk into town. I assumed you were him, even though you're a little young. I assume you were rushing the attackers, when you were running toward the gate? You must be a great bender if you aren't even taking a weapon. Probably why you're the captain." Man he talks fast, but it was a lucky day for me.
"Wow!" I hoped my acting was enough to convince them. "You're correct of course. You must be quite the detective to figure all that out. Come on suit up, let's go!" Though they were probably just too afraid to think, they believed me. "Kazza, gramps, stay here ok? That's an order!" I led them out of the gate to see earthbenders moving toward the town with giant boulders.
We charged them with only four men. I don't know what was crazier, that I was charging a small army with four people or that that army was defending my nation. I should have killed the fire nation soldiers on the spot, but I was almost hit by a huge rock running to the gate that my thoughts were jumbled.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" I shouted. I jumped up into the sky and strated to let flames flow from my limbs. I was on fire, no pun intended, but I could feel the side effects taking hold. I had to finish this quick.
I could see the foes running from me, I don't know how I did it but I was scaring off the Earth Kingdom army.
When I came back, the townspeople greeted me and threw me up on their shoulders for saving their town.
I heard "He single handedly saved us!" "He was so cool! It was all like swoosh and fwoosh!" "Praise the Fire Lord for sending him to us!" I suppose I was glad that I saved these civilians, but that small joy was overshadowed by that latest crime I had committed. I had tried to kill and burn Earth Kingdom soldiers, I had tried to kill and burn Earth Kingdom soldiers!
When I was finally down from the shoulders of the townspeople, two people were there to greet me; Kazza who was leaning on a fire nation soldier like he was injured and the commanding officer from the ship. He had his troops behind him.
"Well…It was you then. I guess I underestimated you, when I saw the fire from the ship I would have sworn the Fire Lord himself was defending the town. I…am truly sorry" He took a knee and his troops followed suit one by one. The townspeople were the last to do so. Only Kazza and the soldier supporting didn't kneel before me.
After a moment, he stood up and clasped my shoulder. "Three rounds of cactus juice for this HERO right here!" he shouted, which was quickly followed by a cheer from the crowd.
"They sure like to party after a victory huh?" Kazza said later that night. I was in the captain's room at the barracks. Kazza was sitting across the room from me. "You might get addicted to cactus juice from now on."
"I know." I said sitting at my desk.
"You were wonderful out there today, you saved all those civilians from certain death…" Kazza looked at me but turned his head away.
"Don't try to justify it, those are Fire Nation civilians; they are enemy civilians." I felt a tear make its way down my cheek. "For every Earth Kingdom soldier I burned there's a fire nation kid who is inspired and joins the army."
"I know." Kazza said. "But do you want children to die?"
"THEY WOULDN'T HAVE DIED!" I stood up and looked at him. "The Earth Kingdom knows when to stop…" I sat back down.
"Some wouldn't…"
"Kazza, just stop…"
A moment of silence passed between us.
"You should capitalize on this victory, ride its coattails to fame and glory in the Fire Nation army. Not because you are Fire Nation but to spy on them. To make a difference."
"Yeah." I said half-heartedly. "You're right, I suppose"
"Sensu?"
"Don't call me that…call me Zias…"
"Why Zias?"
"It's in this book. This damn book I read."
"Ok…Zias?
"What?"
"I was hit by some fragments during the panic today…" he tapped his thiegh.
"So what?"
"I can't feel my legs…"
