Opie came crashing out of the chapel closely followed by Piney. This was post-Donna all over again. What? Was Clay and Tig behind this too?

Clay turned to Bobby;

"You get it, right?"

"I get it" he confirmed.

"Hap?"

"I don't love it but I get it"

"Good. We need to get someone in there to lure him out and see about the possibility of taking over Flesh Fest"

Clay could appreciate why Opie and Piney were pissed there wouldn't be immediate retaliation. But there was an opportunity here. If they could get someone on the inside who could find out what was the hierarchy in 'Flesh Fest', what would happen when they took Georgie out there was a possibility that SAMCRO could run the only porn studio's in the San Joaquin Valley. They'd have all Flesh Fest's business contacts, double their porn business, double the cash flow and they could supply all the gun running demands that they could find.

Happy could appreciate this was the right thing for the club, for CaraCara, for a number of people. But it wasn't what was best for Caroline. Unfortunately Caroline came second; an agonising, photo finish second.


Sleep was a distant memory for the both of them. At least three times a night she bolted up right at the slightest of sounds. He could feel her shaking, her perfect, supple body trembling from head to toe. The first few nights he'd dragged her back into his embrace but eventually he gave up and let her work it out herself.

The quality of their sex life had diminished greatly. He liked being on top just fine but not every time. But that's how she had wanted it every single night, she wanted him on top, to make her feel protected. He could tell there was some kind of dejavu from that night the Myan's shot up Betty's Place at work, he'd thrown himself on top of her then and she wanted to feel like that now.

And he could have dealt with all that if it weren't for the huge streak of crazy that infused itself into everything. She'd developed...habits. For one she won't even attempt to sleep without that red, felt dragon. He used to find it cute back when he first fucked her, not even knowing her name. Now it's just weird but that was the least of his concerns.

When she thought sleep had finally claimed him he felt her move out of the bed and had watched as she went to the bedroom door, opens it just a little before crouching and listening, he's not sure what she's listening out for but he thinks it makes sense to her. She does this ten times a night at least. It's impossible to sleep when the person next to you moves ten times a night.

He doesn't know shit about psychology but he knows compulsive behaviour shouldn't be encouraged. In a way he understands it, she does all these little things and nothing bad has happened so there for if she continues to do these things nothing will. It's all bullshit, about as much use as a rabbits foot but it makes her believe nothing's going to happen. Shit she's fucked up. He doesn't know if he can handle this, that he can care for someone who's developing a mental illness. He's already taking care of his mom, he doesn't know if he can take the stress of the two of them. How can she have gone from being the easiest thing in his life to the biggest burden so quickly?


He wished he hadn't told her that they'd be discussing action against Caruso today. He knew she'd heard his bike pull up but doesn't expect her to be on him the second he walks through the door.

"What's gonna happen?" she asks as she closes the door behind him, careful to make sure it was closed properly.

"Baby, sit down"

She sits down and immediately starts chewing her sleeve. Another bizarre habit she's taken up.

"We're gonna get somebody on the inside. Caruso's got heavy duty security, we need to lure him out"

"No, You lock 'em all in and fucking torch the place! That's what you should be doing! You need to kill him, I need you to, and the kids need you to"

"It isn't just about you, they were probably after Lyla, saw the back of your head and-"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? That 'I' probably wasn't the target!" she screamed, leaping up from the couch.

"It should, it should make you understand that no one's after you and all the crazy shit you do in the night aint needed"

"What 'crazy shit'?"

"You know what I'm talkin' about. I know you're scared and if you've gotta talk about it maybe Jax's ol' lady can-"

"No, no shrinks, can't stand people who ask you one thing but get something else from what you say. It's fucking crazy, like a psycho stalker or something, like 'her eyes said yes when her mouth said no', I-"

"I get it. How about Lyla, can she-"

"No! You can't tell Lyla, ok? She's got enough shit to deal with. I don't need her worrying over nothin'"

"It's not 'nothin' Caroline! It's not normal!"

"What the fuck would you know about normal! The way the Sons live isn't 'normal' so how dare you try and put to me that I'm not acting 'normal'! You're a Son! You reject the 'conventions of society by which the sheep live'!" she yelled, quoting something she'd read on the clubhouse wall.

He points an index finger at her that full of the stern warning to calm down and watch her mouth.

"I used to feel safe with you" she admitted, "now it gets me shot at"

"I know all this shit has got you all shook up-"

"I'm not 'shook up', I'm terrified! I nearly died!"

"I 'nearly die' every damn day!"

"But that's your choice! You know what could happen when you go out and piss people off!"

"Re-opening CaraCara was your idea!"

"So I deserve to get shot at!"

"Quit puttin' words in my goddamn mouth!" he yelled, picking up a nearby glass and throwing at the wall furthest away from him. He needed an outlet for his anger or else he was sure she'd be on the receiving end of it. Fuck, he needed the road. She flinched and whimpered in fright when the glass shattered, he wasn't sure if it was the familiar sound or simply the violence of the act and what it implied but it broke his heart a little. Knowing that feeling was a possibility scared the shit out of him.

He rested his head on his fist and his mind told him to pull himself together.

"If you could shoot d'you think you'd feel 'safe'?" he asked, trying to keep his voice level.

She exhaled heavily and wiped frustrated tears away from her eyes.

"I can shoot, ok? Harlow taught me"

"The model?"

Caroline nodded, "Her dad's a cop, he and her mom had a difference of opinion on what skills a well turned out young lady should have"

"You any good?"

She just shrugged, she didn't know what 'good' was in terms of shooting. Harlow had praised her but she might have been being kind.

"I'm not sure I can live like this" she said in a small voice,

"This is 'the MC life'"

"Well I don't want it. I don't wanna be at the diner, for it to be ticking closer to midnight and every second that passes it becomes more and more likely that something's happened to you!"

"Well tough shit Caroline" he said venomously before marching to the door, ripping it open and slamming it on his way out.


She doesn't even pretend to sleep that night, wraps a blanket around herself and sits in her old bedroom staring at the dozens of photographs pinned to her walls. It's the ones from L.A that get the most attention.

Jesus she wanted to be a nobody again, be just a face on an L.A street. But even that has its perils. Tommy Q got the shit kicked out of him by some guys who saw him coming out of an well knows gay bar and followed him into a secluded street. He didn't invite the trouble, it just happened, just wondered into his life the way you might wonder into a store with an interesting window display. Shit happens; sometimes terrible things enter your life completely uninvited. Shit, maybe she spoke to soon, before she had time to take stock and think about everything. Fuck, she should call Tommy, and Jovi, Alexander and Tommy VD. She misses her band.

Her eyes drifted to the clock on the wall, 1:00AM. Her mind both wondered where Happy was spending the night and If Tommy Q's sleeping patterns had changed lately.

"How are you love of my life?" he laughed down the phone line,

At the sound of his voice she sobbed, Jesus she missed him.

"Awww baby, what's the matter?"

"I screwed it up with this guy" she sniffed. It sounded so simple and stupid but her heart was aching worse than it ever had.

"Fuck him. Seriously, fuck him, all will be forgiven"

"I'm so scared I'm never going to again. We had this big fight"

"When did this happen?"

"Today, this afternoon"

"Honey, you know even missing persons have to wait 24 hours before the cops take an interest, don't call time on it just yet. I've never heard of you being like this over a guy? It's strange, usually you're having to talk me down off the ledge"

"You fall in love too easily"

"I'm just a hopeless romantic honey. So when are you coming home?"

"Don't know. Money feels like water in a bucket with a hole in it sometimes"

Tommy Q can year it in her tone, the doubt, the longing for him to say 'don't worry about it, stay in your crappy little town and live a crappy little life that's full of crappy little happiness's'.

"You're not coming back, are you?"

"No, I am"

"So what does this guy think of that?"

"I'm not sure he knows"

"You mean you haven't told him. Oh honey, don't build your house on the sand, that's Matthew 7.24"

When Tommy Q had told her he was from some backwater in Georgia that he wasn't completely convinced knew the civil war was over she hadn't really believed him. He seemed so worldly and didn't really have the accent for it. But occasionally there were hints as to its credibility. He quoted bible passages like they were Anchorman lines, embedded in his memory.


When she drops by T & M in the morning to be told that Happy had gone to visit his mom she's disappointed, not just because she has to live in limbo longer but because he'd alluded to her going with him next time he went and she'd really like to get out of Charming for a night.

"Hold on darlin', I got something for ya" Bobby told her before disappearing inside the clubhouse just as Ima was coming out. Seeing as she's banned from the new CaraCara she doesn't see Ima that much. The porn star really does remind her of Stephanie, that 'take what you want, deal with consequences later' mentality most of all.

"Hey"

"Can you talk to me? Hear I'm the anti-Christ to all Old Ladies" Ima says in that hostile way of hers because god knows it would kill her to be vulnerable for a single second.

"I'm not an Old Lady"

"Not what I heard"

"Yeah well, people talk shit, don't they?"

"True" Ima admitted, finally allowing a smile,

"What you doing here? Thought you weren't allowed around here for fear you'll corrupt these poor, innocent, naive men"

Ima smiles again but there's so much in it. It's a worrying but brave smile.

"Don't know how much I can tell you but I got asked to sleep with the enemy"

"I know exactly what you're talking about. Ima, if someone finds out you're...a double agent or whatever they'll fuciking kill you"

"The rewards out weigh the risks"

"What's in it for you?"

"Flesh Fest if I can make that happen. D'you know what Lyla thinks about that?"

"Fuck knows" Caroline shrugged, "I can't be around her for too long or else she'll just know I'm not dealing with the drive by and she's got too much shit to deal with already"

At that moment Bobby emerged from the clubhouse with something wrapped in what she'd later find to be a pillow case.

"See you around, and good luck" she told Ima, not knowing that they'd be the last words she ever speak to her.

"Hap told me to give you this. Said you knew how to use it"

She unwrapped it slowly and found herself looking at a Beretta. How did he know? Maybe he did the 'Texan cop's daughter maths', who knows but it was almost exactly what Harlow had taught with one semi-drunken night in a field in the middle of Texas miles from any civilisation.

"You ok darlin'?"

"No" she admitted and he wrapped his arms around her, let her put her head on his shoulder.

"You'll toughen up, you're just a kid, no one expects you to be made of stone" he told her,

"Happy does"

"Wanna know a secret? Happy doesn't know shit about women. Sure he can do the 'night you'll never forget, make you beg for more' but he's never done the steady girl thing"

"Wanna know a secret?" she whispered against his shoulder,

"Sure"

"Me neither, never had a boyfriend"

"I don't believe that. Were you fat and ugly till now?"

She felt herself smile a little, lips grazing the leather of his cut.

"Nah, I just couldn't let anyone tie me down, know what I mean?

Bobby glanced over the top of her head to the row of bikes.

"Know exactly what you mean darlin'"


How could he say he'd made a decision when he felt so forced into it? This was 'it', if tonight didn't play out right he was done. Did that mean he wasn't in love with her? He wasn't sure. Didn't want to entertain the possibility that tonight wasn't going to play out like he needed it to. And what is love anyway? Who gets to define what he feels? Maybe he loves her but he can't be with her. There are loads of those people out there, who couldn't live with the ones they love, people wrote songs about it. 'I Will Always Love You' for fucks sake! The most misinterpreted song on the planet!

He pulled onto the gravel lot a little after midnight. He'd been on the road for 5 hours straight, Seeing his mom had made everything clearer but unfortunately that clarity was that being with Caroline wasn't life or death. If she couldn't pull herself together he could physically live without her.

"Hey" she greeted quietly as he came through the door, her eyes drifting down to her All Stars.

He said nothing as he killed the lights and locked the door.

"What are you doing?"

"This" he grunted, striding over to her.

He reached around her waist and pulled her against him, lips crashing into hers as he did. When she didn't respond straight away he forced her lips open and tasted the warm, wet flesh inside. Quickly his hands moved over her ass and squeezed it, forced her onto her tip toes and her crotch to grind into his. He moved his lips from hers along her jaw, up to her ear and whispered in his usual hoarse tone;

"Feel that? Feel how bad I want ya?"

He could feel her livening up, as his mouth went to the pulse in her neck her felt her hands reach up and lay themselves on the back of his head and neck, holding him close to her. He sucked and bit on the skin, wanted to leave a mark so big she couldn't cover it up even if she wanted to. But she didn't, never ever, she wore his hickeys like girl scout merit badges.

Eventually both her hands went to his head and forced his attention away from her neck back to her lips. This time she kissed him beck, rubbed her lips against his, let her tongue glide past his lips, to move against his.

He lifted her up with one arm, his head craning up to hers as he walked them to a table at the back.

Laying her down on the tabletop he slid his hands up her dress and dragged her panties down. He didn't take the time to appreciate the red satin before he shoved the skirt up around her waist and leaned down to press kisses to her thighs, his hands on the back of them, forcing them further apart before wresting the becks of her knees on his shoulders.

The first time he did this for her she'd been rigid and unconfident in his abilities. He'd proved her so very wrong. Now she craved it, every time he ventured south of her tits her hands glided over his skull and she subconsciously pushed him further down.

He let his tongue tease her clit until he heard heavy pants coming from her nostrils, that was his queue to scrape his teeth ever so gently on the nerve endings and run his tongue over her labia lips before plunging it into the tight hole.

"Jesus!" she cried out, "Fuck!"

The sounds of her panting and cussing were muffled by her creamy thighs pressing into his ears but he was very aware that her voice was becoming louder and louder, it was a miracle that she didn't smash the widows when she her orgasm crashed over her. Her chest rose and fell at a rapid place when he came to loom over her supported on his arms.

She dragged her face to hers and kissed him deeply She never questioned how he could stand to do that as what she tasted on his lips afterwards was anything but delicious.

"That was...wow" she finally managed,

He couldn't help smiling at her. He should have known that all he needed to do was make her feel good. Sometimes the point to which she liked sex concerned him. Could she go without while he was gone? He didn't doubt her fidelity, not for a second.

He lifted her onto her feet and spun her around before gently encouraging her forward onto the table. She liked the intimacy of facing him, watching his jaw get tighter and tighter as her cunt strangled the life out of his cock. But there was no denying that he was able to get deeper in the most animalistic of positions.

She heard his jeans fall to the flop and the ripping open and rolling on of the condom before feeling the head of his dick against her. He pushed himself into her an inch at a time, stopping and waiting for her breathing to become more and more laboured until she eventually reached around them and dug her nails into his bare ass dragging him closer.

"Be patient baby"

"Patience is for chumps! Fuck me!" she ordered,

"Say please"

"Now!"

He not so lightly smacked her on this ass. Sometimes the age difference seemed more obvious and a little creepy, other times it got them both hot. She was so young; she had so much to learn from him. He was older, over a decade, had the experience necessary to please her like he did.

He roughly put both hands on her hips and pulled himself out almost all the way.

"Please! Please Hap!"

"Please what?" he grinned as he took one hand off her hip and moved it to her clit. She had to reach her arms out to stop herself going face first into the tabletop.

"Please fuck me!" she panted as she tried to move herself backwards onto him.

"Hard?"

"Yeah"

"And slow?"

"You know it" she gasped.

She'd suffered enough he decided before forcing himself back inside her at a measured pace before moving back out with the same rhythm. It took her a moment or two to match his pace, moving herself backwards as he thrust forward. His index finger continued to work her clit, she gasped and swore like a sailor, every other word was 'fuck'. Some nights that was all she chanted in his ear, other nights she was more talkative, whole sentences about the sensations he was causing her to have.

He increased his pace without her even having to ask, all he needed was the sound of her breathing coming back into control to tell him that she was ready for more. Her arms began to wobble, eventually giving out and forcing her onto her elbows.

He dug his hand into her hip in an attempt to stave off his climax until her pussy squeezed and contracted around him as she howled out her ecstasy.

Sometimes she wondered if there was much more to their relationship other than sex. On those occasions she also wondered if she really cared if there wasn't.


Lyla's hand curled around Opie's stake knife. Half to prevent him from using it on Caruso, half so she had a weapon to slit the bastard's throat with. The son of a bitch snapped his fingers and a chair was bought for him.

Rod Howard was looking to move to a smaller studio, somewhere where he could be a big fish in a small pond. Lyla had set up a dinner meeting, they'd wine and dine him, convince him that coming to CaraCara was a good move for his career. Caruso had shown up in the middle and began to explain to Rod why Flesh Fest was a superior choice, how Flesh Fest was where the money was.

Little did Caruso know that they were letting him have this, that Ima had told him about this meeting on SAMCRO's instruction, to gain his trust. In a week Caruso would be dead and they could finally sleep at night. She had to stop the smile from forming on her lips and fight to keep her eyes furious.


"I need to find my sister" she said lazily as she dropped another kiss onto his chest.

They lay in his bed at the clubhouse in an idle limbo between fucking and sleep. Outside the door a party raged on but they'd so much rather be in their bubble, when it felt like nothing and no one could touch them.

"Why?" he asked, running a hand through her hair. Fuck, that was some kind of soft; the stuff fabric softener commercials are made of.

"I gotta get rid of the house, I can't live there, don't feel safe"

"You need a fresh start" He agreed,

"Exactly. There's this house and it's real cute, right between Bobby's and Lyla's, saw a 'For Rent' sign out front" she rolled herself onto him, lay her chin on his chest and looked up at him, he knew what she was getting at and he smiled, running a hand through her hair again, "I don't know where to start though, don't know who to contact"

"What do you know"

"She was in Vegas over a year ago, sellin' herself, maybe using the name 'Sweet Caroline'"

"You should talk to Precious' man"

"Sergio? Why?"

"Cus a bounty hunter knows how to find people that don't wanna be found"

"You'll help me, right?"

"I'll help you" he confirmed, "I'd do anything for you"

She could see the sincerity deep in his eyes.

"I didn't mean what I said the other day; you do make me feel safer. You make me happier"

"You make me happier too baby"

She put her hands on his shoulders and lifted herself level with him, dropping a kiss onto his lips before resting her head onto the pillow next to his. Sleep took her body over the second she felt his arms wrap around her.

Thanks for the reviews! I do quite like hearing what you don't much care for as well as what you like.

It always bugs the shit out of me how people have 'I will always love you' as their first dance at their wedding. Anytime anyone tells me that I can't just let them be ignorant about the fact that it's about a break up.