A/N: So... Old... o_e

When did I write this? I don't remember writing a whole lot of this! Oh geez, I know it was prolly March or something but this whole chapter is so horrible and I didn't feel like rewriting it at all. XD;;; But today I remembered that I had to write Her Wish Will Come True! So I was playing Dante's Inferno, and you know how it's all about going into hell and stuff? Well guess what? What are these girls trying to do? You guessed it! :D

So it's March and everything is all warm and I remembered that I still had to finish this story! :D


Nanako's olive eyes tried to keep up with the turquoise and black butterfly fluttering in front of her. Her hands were tucked into her pockets, a blank expression plastered on her face. Nanako was in a flourished world, one filled with bountiful trees and flowers. She glanced up into the sky before the butterfly landed on her shoulder. Nanako quirked her nose a bit as it started to rain. It was just sunny a minute ago, and within a split second, the sky began to weep. The storm was almost calming. It was just rain. That's all it was.

"What's taking you so long?" the butterfly hissed. "What's on your mind, Nanako? Are you this dense? You don't know what to do?"

There was a long paused before there was a loud rumbling noise caused by the rapid expansion of air suddenly heated by lightning. Nanako was completely drenched in water. But she was lost in thought. "Karner… I really don't know what to do, ya? All this strength and I can't do anything with it!" Nanako paused, lifting up her hands, which were a deep shade of turquoise. "Everything is going wrong. I keep letting my team get blindsided! I keep messing up!"

"They're afraid of you, Nanako. Can't you tell? They blame all of their mistakes on you because you're the most believable suspect for their failures. So this is what you're really going to do. You're going to mope because you feel like you've let everyone else down, huh? Really? You're more pathetic than you let on."

There was an abrupt, discontinuous natural electric discharge in the atmosphere. A bright, blue light zipped through the sky and onto the ground. It appeared on top of Nanako's olive-colored hair. Sparks began to dance around the musician. She took two steps forward before the butterfly flew off her shoulder. The butterfly hovered in front of Nanako, perhaps waiting for something. No words were exchanged, but the two beings knew what had to be done.

"If you have made mistakes, Nanako, there is always another chance for you. Got it?" Nanako nodded her head, fully transforming into her Mew form.

"Ya can count on it!"


Chapter Nine: -Yuki?- The Winged Trigger Command

And so, we fell. I could handle the retched Mews' screaming in my ears, especially Tasumi's pleasant screaming. Half of me had to hold back from telling her something very irrelevant to the plan. Miruku looked absolutely gorgeous today, but it wasn't my place to tell her that. I knew all of their names. Nanako, the turquoise Mew. Misty, the peacock Mew. …Tasumi, the dove Mew. And I, Mew Cauliflower. I was the odd one out of the group. I was the only one named after a vegetable. As I stayed in Mew form, I began to 'stretch out my body.' I wasn't the world's best describer, but that was how I was.

So while the others were screaming their heads off, I just fell quietly, thinking about life in general. Maybe it was time to give up. I wasn't cut out to be a Mew, nor Yakuza member. Nanako hit the ground first, then Misty, and soon I found myself falling down into a dark room. I straightened out my black Lycra, my collar, and my bow-tie.

"That dude..." Nanako blinked. "He got us." I sighed. It was Nanako's fault we got blindsided. Yes, it probably was foreseen that Ryuichi was going to press that button of his, but if Nanako would have kept her thoughts to herself, maybe, just maybe, we wouldn't be down here in the first place. Misty looked at her gloved-hand for a while and then brought her red eyes towards Nanako. Tasumi walked up to the three of us, holding her umbrella as if it were broken.

"I've had it, love!" Misty shouted, stomping in a puddle of muddy water. I couldn't blame her. "I've had it with you…" she said, pointing a finger at Nanako. "…Tasumi and Yuki! You guys kidnapped me, love! I had no say! I kept my mouth closed like you wanted, Tasumi! I could handle the fact that I was now some kind of bird! I even handled the fact that I'd be wearing gloves for the rest of my life. I started to think of it as a fashion statement, not a jail sentence! But this? This, loves..." She paused, tears sliding down her face. "This is absolute hell, loves! This goes beyond keeping your mouth shut, and you know it! Look at where we are! We're in a Yakuza 'whorehouse'! And we wouldn't be down here if it weren't for the slime ball right there!"

"What you say?" Nanako shot back, balling her fists up. "I'm a great Mew! I'm Mew Blueberry! Always have been, and I always will be! Ya're just mad because ya're scared! Ya've been getting under my skin ever since I met ya! I've tried to be nice'n stuff, but your 'princess attitude' makes me want to throw you into a wall! Ya'll always be my sidekick, Misty! Always, ya hear? And now that your stupid group of friends aren't here to laugh at every retarded thing ya say, ya're going to have to live with us!" I raised a brow at this. The Mews were so easily provoked. I wanted to see what I could stir up but I bit my tongue. Tasumi placed her hands on both Nanako and Misty's shoulders, her grey irises lighting up.

"Guys. Stop fighting," she said rather calmly. I chuckled at Misty and Nanako's facial expressions. It was then that Tasumi felt the need to say something else. Tasumi was everything I had hoped for her to be. She knew how to be a leader now, and that sort of defrosted my heart a bit. "But I will say this, guys. Misty, I am not out to get you, Nanako, or Yuki. It's just how I'm suppose to work, yeah? Like it or not, I'm your leader, and I think I'm doing a damn good job at doing it. Yuki, detransform." I tilted my head for a moment, but I really couldn't give Tasumi any lip. I stood in my previous attire. Tasumi flashed a slight smile at me. "Good. Anyway, Misty, I wanted you to be a Mew, not because I wanted to make your life hell, but because I truly wanted you to change. And if it took peacock DNA, it took that. And Nanako. You're so full of yourself. Misty isn't your sidekick. She's your teammate."

Whatever Tasumi was trying to make them do ended up in a bad backlash. Misty threw her hands out into the air.

"That's the worst lie I've ever heard in my life, love! You've got to be kidding me! Me? You wanted me to change? I'm a freak! I don't know if I should live in a zoo or an abandoned apartment, love! How do you plan on fixing me? I've had it with you! But most importantly, I've had it with Masami! Every other word that rains from your mouth is Masami! I'm tired of it, love!" I hated that fool Masami. I hated her with a passion. I didn't really want to partake in this conversation, but I knew it was going to be my turn to talk soon.

"Maybe ya'd know Masami died if Tasumi told you, Misty!" Nanako shouted, veins popping out of her forehead. She was truly mad now, and her comment seemed to have ticked Tasumi off, for she removed her hands from both Mew's shoulders. Misty's eyes widened, but only for a moment. "And she died all because of Tasumi! What kind of leader does that, huh? Admit it, Tasumi! Ya messed up and now you expect us to 'work together'? The first time you told me that we had to save Masami, I thought it would be all sunshine and rainbows to get her back! It's always been about Masami this whole time! I get it. Why don't ya? We gotta save the world from the Hell Spawn, remember?"

"Nanako say something like that again—"

"And what?" I intervened, tired of waiting around. "Honestly. Let me tell all three of you what you are doing wrong. Some people accumulate more emotional rust than others. Depression starts out in the form of a fog, but you can get through all that. Not happily, perhaps, but you can get through. Masami is in hell. We're not talking about Japan or Alaska. We're talking about a place that—let's face it—shouldn't exist. Can you imagine how hot it is down there? How dreadful it is? What the air smells like? I can. And I know if we go down there, we'll die. So let's stop." I smirked. I was getting to them. Misty sat down on the floor, while Nanako looked like she was about to pulverize Tasumi.

"Yuki's right, love. I don't want to do this anymore. If the world ends, I'm prepared for that. But I'll die knowing it's with my father and my mother. And my hair products." I loved every minute of these girls submitting to my tactics. And for once, being bad for a change actually felt good. Misty detransformed, and so did the other two.

"Don't say that!" Tasumi pleaded. "We've come so far…"

"She's right. Look at where we've ended up," Nanako said, sighing. "When the world ends—and I die—I'll probably end up in that big blue place in the sky with my mom, ya know? All my life, I've wanted to be a hero. Yah, with my awesome cooking skills and guitar moves. I can't believe I'm saying this, but—Going into hell really isn't worth it. I'm sitting this one out."

"But I promised her…" Tasumi whispered. Now, she looked like she was done reasoning. "I'll take all three of you down there by force if I have too!" She meant business now, getting into a fighting position.

"You're really possessive Tasumi…" I laughed. First a hero, now a kidnapper? "There's nothing you can do with us if we are not going. And what would you do with us anyway if we came into hell bruised and battered? We would lose. Quickly—"

"Buu! Yuuuuuuuki!"

All three of us turned around to be met with a rather short girl. She had blonde hair—curly blonde hair in ringlets that sat around her face. She looked at me through big, green eyes. She had rather big cheeks. Was I suppose to know her? Apparently she knew me. She also let out a very loud 'oinking' noise. Like a pig. I… Was she calling me a pig? This girl ran over to me and hugged me. I silently panicked.

"So, ya're down here too, girl?" Nanako sighed. "Well. I'm Nanako. You?"

"Buu? Is she your friend, Yuki? What are you doing down here? You look so pretty, but aren't you suppose to be on a mission? You're back so soon!" I blinked. I was going to be frank here. I had no clue who this girl was.

"Is it a problem if I don't remember who you are?"

"It's me, Hiniku." She sighed. "Wow Yuki. It really isn't like you to forget things. Remember the infiltration mission we went on together? Buu, it was fun." I tilted my head. Infiltration… Mission? Hiniku put an index finger on her lips. I grunted silently. This girl was going to become a thorn in my side, I could tell. Nothing Hiniku said to me was making any sense. Tasumi began to pace back and forward, probably thinking of something to say. I was enjoying every minute of her frustration. Tasumi cracked another smile, and walked up to Hiniku, extending her arm. "Well Hiniku, I guess this calls for a proper introduction, hmm? My name is Tasumi and there's no telling how long we're going to be down here. We sort of messed up." Hiniku grabbed Tasumi's hand wholeheartedly. This girl was oblivious, but she was still something to be desired of.

"New to the Yakuza, huh, Tasumi? Well, I guess you'd have to be! I've never seen you around here. But then again, this isn't a major Yakuza base now is it? Well, let's see, what can I say about me?" She paused, pulling something out of her kimono sash. She was full of surprises. "I'm a prosti—geisha, buu!" She smiled, dramatically waving around two fans. Misty's eyes widened and she stood up in total shock. Actually, all of the Mews were taken aback by this comment.

"But—love! You look like you're—Ten!" Misty babbled. Hiniku's cheeks reddened at the accusation.

"Well, how old are you? Does it really matter how old you are when you join the wondrous life of the Yakuza?" Hiniku said with sparkling eyes. "Well, love, I'm seventeen."

"Seventeen?!" Tasumi, Nanako, and Misty yelped in unison. I was taken aback now. Hiniku, like I stated before, was very young. Or… she looked very young. Hiniku must have been 5'2". One thing kept picking at my brain, however. Why was she making oinking sounds? Very peculiar. And why is she here? Hiniku nodded her head, putting her fans back in her sash.

"Yes guys, and I'm proud of what I do! Ask Yuki! I tell her about my work all the time." She paused, clasping her hands together and rocking back and forward. "Voices touch places inside me like someone moving through a house, flicking light switches. And even if it was dark and there was shellfire or an arctic gale blowing, I'd still be able to understand them! It's such a good workout! I've tried getting Yuki to actually join me, but she's a—or she's dedicated to being a Yakuza subordinate more than having a little fun with me, which I totally understand—"

Nanako threw her hands around Hiniku's mouth, while a twitching Tasumi and startled Misty stared at Hiniku. That little rant of hers, to me, was really interesting… Hiniku still started to say a few things behind Nanako's hands.

"Okay, my turn, ya hear? Hiniku, my name's Nanako!" she chimed, before randomly sweatdropping. "We need to get out of here! Hiniku—the four of us are fourteen. …I think… And for ya to be saying stuff like that'n stuff—you—ya—what?" she sighed, letting go of Hiniku's mouth. Hiniku laughed lightly.

"My religion is well known to those who know me. I believe in bodies, arms entangling and untangling. I believe, and I know it to be so, that there are so many curves and hollows in a single body that none of us can come to know them all within a single lifetime. I believe in one to one and one on one. No wine or magic, no hand-me-down bible can improve on that. I believe in spring, but only if I'm rolled up in a pillow or holding some well-loved face in my hands ... More often I'm a spectator, meaning I've no reason to believe in anything save what I see. But I do. I'm fine. Really, I am. Like Yuki, I was brought into the Yakuza at a very young age."

"Love, you poor thing…" Misty sighed, shaking her head. "I couldn't imagine a life like this. Love, were you a geisha at a young age?"

"For as long as I can remember," she said before looking towards me. "Yuki! Anyway, I've been meaning to show you something for a long time, buu. I've always thought it was weird."

"Well, go ahead, Hiniku," I said with a calm face. I wanted to see how far I could take this conversation. "Tell me what is troubling you, huh?" Hiniku smiled at me before stepping back from the four of us. She closed her eyes and this bright orange light surrounded her. She extended her arms out to her sides, as if she were trying to grab something. Green gloves with orange frill on the ends of them appeared on her hands. Her hair got relatively shorter as two loose, slightly wild pig-tails tucked under her ears and rested on her shoulders. Orange ribbons tied around her waist, revealing a frilly, orange mini-skirt accompanied with green leggings. Her feet were fitted with long, laced orange boots with green shoelaces. A pair of pink pig ears rested on her head as a curly tail completed her transformation.

"Metamorpho-sis Mew Mew Hiniku! … Err, something about that didn't sound right… But… I HATE this! Do you know what's going on?"

And we all were gasping. We couldn't take our eyes off her. I clinched my fists at Hiniku's sudden change and I quickly looked behind me. If Rhiannon didn't rear her ugly head in while we were talking—she was sure as hell going to now. You could throw Rhiannon into an ocean and skim ugly for days. Who was this girl? I didn't know her, and I did not know she was a Mew. As the silence began to deafen, I began to smirk. My job here was done, and yet, I just couldn't leave my poor Tasumi without something to remember me by.

"Checkmate, Tasumi," I said, making her aware of my presence. Tasumi instantly looked towards me and raised her guard. I just loved her expression and how it was filled with so much fire. And I loved just knowing the fact that I had more than enough power to quench those flames of hers. "You don't remember me, Tasumi? I'm hurt." I laughed, snapping my fingers, the cold shell that I had been in breaking around me, revealing my true form. Misty took one look at me and screamed at the top of her lungs. I placed one hand on my hip and stared at her. Was its really that serious? I was not that bad. She needed to get a grip on herself.

"Y-Yuki?" Hiniku breathed. Nanako was still in awe from Hiniku's transformation. Did Hiniku not hear me? Pity. Insolent human. I flipped my hair, glancing at this new Mew. A knife saturated with ice quickly found its way into my right hand. I smirked—just a little. We handed one particular Mew on this team something that she could not refuse. Power. Invulnerability. Enlightenment. And she gladly took it. Just like that idiot Masami. Just like that ingrate Artimas praises.

"Hiniku. Dear Hiniku," I cooed, stepping towards the newest Mew. Tasumi, Misty, and Nanako stood their guard, mouths agape. They tried to look intimidating at the same time. I grasped Hiniku's chin, looking down at the short Mew. "I'm not Yuki, dear. But I can tell you where she is. You are a loud one, Hiniku. I can't put my finger on it, but you are a very familiar pawn. But where did you come from?"

"Cherry!" Tasumi seethed. "Misty! Nanako! It's time to go! I'm not telling you this as a leader, but as a friend! Cherry got to us, and tried to talk us into giving up! Err, she made Coach look like a bad guy! So let's go!"

"Mew Mew Milk, Metamorpho-sis!"

"Mew Mew Blueberry, Metamorpho-sis!"

"Mew Mew Chinaberry, Metamorpho-sis!"

I let go of Hiniku's chin, leaving her confused and assessing the situation. Misty was very interesting. She was trembling in so much fear that I could tell she was absolutely terrified of me. But her eyes seemed to be shimmering with a resolve. It was apparent that she had never seen anything like me before.

"I don't think we've been introduced, love," Misty said in-between breaths. She collected herself again. "If Tasumi said you did all of that, then I won't hold back. Maybe I do need to change…"

"But first thing's first!" Nanako interrupted. I glanced at Hiniku who, instead of looking startled, was rather calm. "Introduce yourself—err, I mean, where the heck is Yuki?! I don't care who ya are! Cherry, Chantey, Chimpanzee!" Wait. What?

"Did you just call me a monkey, you sad excuse for an insect?" I scowled. Before I could finish my sentence, I heard faint footsteps behind me. I slowly turned around to be met with a blank-faced Yuki. Her head looked slightly limp. Her gaze was fixated on the ground. I cursed under my breath. Not now. Not yet, Rhiannon. Jace. Molt. Damn them for ruining fun… Hiniku quickly ran over to the black Mew, noticing her hair falling into her eyes and the unkempt clothing she wore.

"That's..." Tasumi said, but was nearly knocked over by Hiniku running over to my power-ridden friend.

"Yuki! Buu! I thought Cherry was you for a moment! You know what I've realized? Tasumi, Nanako, and Misty all have powers like me! They're good people to talk to, and I hate not knowing what's going on." I chuckled silently to myself. Tasumi's eyes intensified as Yuki slowly, unwillingly wrapped her arms around the short Mew. Something must have clicked in poor Miruku's head, because she was quick to summon her weapon, as well as point it at Yuki. Nanako and Misty babbled a bit. That look in Tasumi's eyes was nothing but enjoyable at best.

"Dude! Tasumi's gone crazy!" Nanako exclaimed. "Can't ya see that that's the real Yuki?"

"For once, I agree with the slime ball, love," Misty said. "I don't know what's going on anymore! First Cherry, then Hiniku, and now this? I'm tired of this!" Misty closed her eyes and exhaled deeply before extending her arms. "Chinaberry Ardor Chain!" she yelled. I quirked my nose. Nothing appeared in her hands and she opened her eyes. "Tasumi, attacking Cherry is one thing. But love, attacking Yuki is a whole entire novel. I hate to say it love, I really do, but she's my friend."

"Yeah! This is the real Yuki, Buu," Hiniku said happily, tightening her grip around Yuki. But I knew what she really was. And that was eating away at Tasumi, wasn't it?

"Yuki isn't the same," Tasumi said, raising a brow, keeping her grip tight around her umbrella. "The void in her eyes, that aura around her... Masami..."

Pain or not, I would most likely walk around in a suicidal dream the rest of my life, never actually doing anything about it. Was there a psychological term for that? Was there a disease that involved an intense desire to die, but no will to go through with it? Couldn't talk and thoughts of suicide be considered a whole malady of their own, a special subcategory of depression in which the loss of a will to live has not quite been displaced by a determination to die?

I guess I realized that I didn't want to die. I didn't want to live either, but—there really wasn't anything in-between. Depression is about as close as you get to somewhere between dead and alive, and it was the worst. But since the tendency toward inertia meant that it was easier for me to stay alive than die, I guess that was how it was going to be, so I guess I should have tried to be happy. And what I owned up to was this... I had wanted to kill myself, not because I hated living, but because I loved it. And the truth of the matter was, I think, that a lot of people who think about killing themselves feel the same way. They love life, but it's all fucked up for them. We were up on the roof because we couldn't find a way back into life, and being shut out of it like that. It just destroys you. So it is like an act of despair, not an act of nihilism. It is a mercy killing, not a murder. I vowed that I would always respect the right of an individual to kill himself. Whether suicide was a moral or immoral act I no longer felt sure, but of the dignity of its intransigence I was convinced.

I was worthless. I was of no use to anyone, and no one was of any use to me. What good to kill myself? How can you kill nothing? A person who has committed suicide has had at least something to end. He must know joy to know misery. I had known nothing. Why live? Why die? One was an equal choice to the other. ... It took tolerance not to give in to death. But before I had even quite realized that I was attracted to her—well, I knew I was because I wanted to be more like her than I was like myself—the old terrible magic coalesced into the air, and I realized with a sort of shock what I wanted to do. Dear God, I wanted to put my hands on her as a trial, just as a test. I wanted to put a hand on her face or on her arm because I thought that if I did that, I would be so happy. I just wanted to feel her skin and I wanted to get at the soul underneath that muscle because I could smell it.

And it was the same feeling I had with Miruku.

My head was full of wild urges to hurt myself. I tasted the ambrosia of maddened impulse. I wanted my interior pain out in my body somehow. I wanted this vague pain to be specific. That's how I explain it. That's perhaps… why I do the things I do now. I still want that sensation. I still craved it. I took one of my daggers and drew a line across my raw skin. The stinging was intense. A smile leaked across my face. I wanted to carve places like this all over my body, to climb inside this intense world. The pain was like a sour candy—the first suck so sharp before slowly dissolving. Little beads of blood pulled up to the surface. I clipped another piece next to the first, connecting them in a line, and watched as the blood filled in. I didn't feel hunger anymore. I didn't feel lost or stuck or even alone. I was finally here. And even as a Hell Spawn, I needed this pain.

What does it take to inflict that upon oneself? Is it desperation? Or a perverse courage? Or is it some wild abandon (whatever the opposite may be of the self-possession we modern humans so value) which alone permits full vent to fury, to cut and slash and strike blood? My mind flinched from the thought. I could not get my imagined fingers to pick up the razor, to bare my arm. And yet she did it. Laid open her soft white skin and watched the hot blood well up and overflow the wound. The salty tang was in my mouth, as if, with a kiss, I could seal the lips of those cut edges. And that was how I feel into her trap. Riena's trap. When I was human.

And she crushed my heart. Used me. Like I was something she could play with. I was trying to cut myself. I wanted to cut for the cut itself, for the delicate severing of capillaries, the transgression of veins. I needed to cut the way your lungs scream for air when you swim the length of the pool underwater in one breath. It was a craving so organic it seemed to have arisen from the skin itself. Imagining the sticky-slick scarlet trails of my own blood soothed me.

Blood is very gratifying—I did not really know why. I guess because it was very real: blood was what makes me alive—I am alive, I am like other people. There's something very—I don't want to say "cathartic," but maybe it is—about letting blood come out of you. I definitely like blood: seeing my blood, playing with my blood, and all those sort of gruesome, disgusting things I can do with it. I started with breaking my fingers because it was something that I had learned. I didn't know that I could cut myself. I was still young and hadn't figured it out. So, I achieved something better when I found out that I could cut myself…. I'd say I was probably around twelve or thirteen. That isn't to say that I stopped doing other things, but I started to realize that cutting was much more fun.

I enjoy watching my blood flow. A lot of times I would cut myself and watch the path that it traveled over my body as it left, and collect it in a bucket. I would touch it; get it on my fingers, feel its consistency—this is kind of disgusting—it's kind of a weird texture, sticky. Sometimes I would get worried that it wasn't real because you don't expect blood to be sticky. I would play around with it and then start to worry that it wasn't real, that I wasn't real again. Then I would have to cut more to make sure that it was actual blood.

So sometimes it wasn't all that helpful. Sometimes I would have to taste it. I wouldn't consume great quantities of it, but I had to make sure that it wasn't fake or it wasn't just red-colored water. I worried that maybe I wasn't real, so I decided to use whatever methods I had to make sure that I was real. I liked playing with my blood. I would use it like it was finger paint. I was mesmerized by it. And I still am.

And you know what? It feels so good. It makes me feel light, free. ... I suppose I should feel ashamed, or disappointed in myself. It is like a relapse into old, familiar, self-destructive blackness. I had been doing so well, and now I was back to where I started from. But wrist-slashing is a kind of anchor for me, a sense of safety and security, even though I know it means I am not well. It is like a person returning to a mental institution that she spent a considerable amount of time in. It is good to be out, she knows it is the right thing.

Wrist-slashing is me. It is the reaffirmation that something is wrong with me, when other people and I start mistakenly believing that I'm okay. It's a significant part of my identity. Apart from making me feel good in a "Hooray, I'm back!" sort of way, it also enabled me to bleed the hurt and anger I feel towards her out of my system.

"The misery is there inside her, like a stone, and there's no room for any other thoughts. She is not trying to make an appeal to our sympathies—she's just shifting this big weight inside her from one place to another," I cooed, watching Tasumi look at me like she wanted to hurt me. Yes, that was what I wanted. For her to hurt me. "It's amazing how much unhappiness we needlessly cause ourselves by ascribing negative meanings to simple things that happen in our lives. Yuki needed that hate. She craved it. Not to a degree comparable to mine, but she needed it nonetheless."

"Shut up!" Tasumi screamed, tears streaming down her face as Yuki twitched a bit. A perilous purple aura surrounded the black Mew. Hiniku held her grip tighter, a confused look dancing on her face. I smirked. "This is… just how Masami went! I remember this is how she looked! What the hell did you do to my friends?!" The others looked taken aback by this comment. Perhaps from her choice of words? "Get out of my life, Cherry! Please. I feel like… I feel like… just get the hell away from her—"

"Look at how many layers of sadness and depression there are!" I said, stopping my delicious Tasumi-sama from talking. "You get used to feeling pretty miserable most of the time—what might be called "low-level misery"—a sort of permanent background of misery, and you learn to cope with it; it almost gets to feel normal. But then something happens which reminds you of what it was like not to feel miserable, and it hurts so much you almost just can't bear it." I paused, looking at Yuki's body. "Listen, she's screaming in agony—fortunately I speak it fluently." I cackled. Tasumi did not like that one bit.

"Buu! Yuki, are you in there? Please? Say something! Anything!" Hiniku muttered. "I'm not going to let go of you, huh? No. Never. Not until you answer me."

"Miruku, when I go away, are you going to be able to live with yourself?" I said, ignoring the pig Mew's cries to her partner. "Hmm, Tasumi? Look at your other partners. Nanako and Misty. Misty doesn't know what to make of this. And poor Nanako probably can't wrap her head around this, can she? Let me break it down for you girls, hmm? That day, when you magically got warped into that room fighting those creatures… Yuki had a decision to make. She didn't make the decision. Her 'heart' did. She wanted power. She wanted to save herself. She was selfish. We gave her this power. She sided with us. We told her to take you hear. Silly girls! Did you really think some haphazard Yakuza man would know about our plans? This is our world. We made it. And while you fell through Ryuichi's trap, I made myself to look Yuki, and Rhiannon perfected her transformation." I stopped to laugh. "You're familiar with this, aren't you, Tasumi? You've seen Masami like this, just before she was cast down into the gates of hell."

"And basically I found out that most of the things we find in life that are scary... They happen when we least expect them! And sometimes, we don't hear them." Tasumi yelled. "Yes, I've seen it, Cherry! Why must you bring it back up like this?! Courage is like memory—a muscle that needs exercise to get strong. So I decided that if I worked at trying to be stronger, I could be brave like the others! You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. I can do everything that I say I can't do. I think Masami did that. Because when those gates closed on her, I heard her! I heard her damn it!"

"No! Tasumi! I didn't want it to end like this!"

Tasumi cracked a slight grin. "She had control. And if only for a moment, I heard her. Nanako? Remember the high board at the swimming pool?"

"Yah! I do, Tasumi. I remember it like it was yesterday!" Nanako answered back. "Why would you ask something like that, though? We need to kick Cherry butt right now!"

"Well Nanako, After days of looking up at it you finally climbed the wet steps to the platform. From there, it was higher than ever. There were only two ways down, the steps to defeat or the dive to victory. You stood on the edge, shivering in the hot sun, deathly afraid. At last you leaned too far forward; it was too late for retreat, and you dived. The high board was conquered, and you spent the rest of the day diving," Tasumi said, her tears stopping. She put a smile on her face, and I simpered. "Misty, remember your fear of clowns?"

"Y-Yes love, but—"

"Remember how easy it was, being afraid? You can do this Misty! Fear isn't something that just jumps on you, it's something that you imagine. So when you go to sleep and feel cold fingers pressing on your face—they don't belong to a monster! They're yours!" Tasumi laughed. She tightened her grip on her umbrella.

"What is happening? You have been lying to me the whole time! Why didn't you tell me?! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Err… because you wouldn't listen! You have no idea how it feels to be different! You do not know how it feels to be left alone in the world! No, you're just a helpless Lolita, who has everything!"

"I'm listening now Masami," Tasumi said, sighing. She closed her eyes, looking at the ceiling as if she could see something. "Courage takes many forms. There is physical courage, there is moral courage. Then there is a still higher type of courage—the courage to brave pain, to live with it, to never let others know of it and to still find joy in life; to wake up in the morning with an enthusiasm for the day ahead. … You were afraid of me, Masami."

I hated Masami. I hated when her name fell out of my dear Tasumi-sama's lips. "The more you ignore me Tasumi, the closer I get. So you really love her more than me?"

"What?!" Tasumi gasped. "Err… Masami's just my friend! I'm pretty sure I've made that clear plenty of times before! Cherry, seriously, I just want to save my friends! That's all I've wanted! I don't like you! I never liked you! And you creep me out!"

"Why get yourself... Love, love, love. All of the idiots in the world go around prancing about how love is the greatest thing on the planet. Yet everyone refuses to come into terms with the fact that they are all hopeless romanticists delousing themselves of the lingering masochism they deal with each and everyday..." I paused. "Love is nothing but a sack of lies someone wants you to believe. All the people in this world are idiots for believing such made up things! She thought just like everyone else did..."

"Who the heck are you talking about you crazy woman?!" Nanako exclaimed. I didn't think her small mind could comprehend what I was saying. I smirked a bit.

"Riena. Or, as you know her, Kiwa," I said. Watching their faces light up with confusion was priceless. "When I was still human, Riena broke me into a million pieces. And some how, we both ended up in hell. And then she turned on me again. The horrible fiend, she wanted to become one of them. An angel of all things. But you remind me of my feelings I had of Riena, Tasumi. I—"

"I. Am. Not. Riena. Or. Kiwa!!" Tasumi exclaimed stomping her foot on the ground. "So this is why you hurt my friends?! Because you thought I was her? Really?!" She paused and started to pace around the room in a frenzy. I just looked at her. "I almost never get angry. And I know I should never be angry. But I always have good reasons when I'm pushed over the edge! But maybe I shouldn't be mad. Maybe I'm just making too much of nothing. Things just piss me off, but if I say so I'll look silly and super-sensitive. So most of the time, I keep my mouth closed. But not this time, Cherry! Get out of our way!" It's about being bitter but patient with your own bitterness so you could learn to be wise and be kind of returned to whatever innocence you might have once had before you became bitter. With every word that passed out of her mouth, I grew angry. Did she not see me? I loved her so much, it just turned to hate.

"How can I give up a girl, who delicious and provocative as once she may have been, will inevitably grow as familiar as a loaf of bread? For Love? What love? Isn't it something more like weakness? Isn't it rather convenience and apathy and guilt? Isn't it rather fear and exhaustion and inertia, gutlessness plain and simple, far far more than that "love" that the marriage counselors and the songwriters and the psychotherapists are forever dreaming about? Please, let us not bullshit one another about 'love' and its duration."

"Stop contradicting yourself, Cherry!" Tasumi quickly snapped back. "Did… Did you do that to Masami? Because you hated seeing her with me?"

"No. That would be me, child."

I turned around to see Rhiannon standing right next to Yuki's enraged body. She held her staff in her hands and looked at me with her silly little eyes.

"I believe we haven't be introduced, Mews. You're all friends of Masami, my dear daughter? What a pity. You'll all die chasing her. My name is Rhiannon… Nanako, Tasumi, Misty."

"You're… Masami's mother?!" Tasumi gasped. "B-but… I remember you!"

"What is she talking about? Her father killed Renzo? Isn't he…dead?"

"T-Tasumi? Wha… what are you doing?"

"Get out of here! It's not safe!"

"Masami! How could you… you.. Are…"

"Hurry now Masami darling! The gates are almost closed!"

"No one will rise to the challenge?! Are you all that incompetent?!"

"And I remember you, child. But how on earth did this one get here? Cherry, who is this on Yuki's legs? She's not one of ours."

"Yes, I know that, Rhiannon. But she knows Yuki, apparently," I scoffed. "Her name's Hiniku—" Hiniku jumped and let go of Yuki's legs as Rhiannon gave the woman a death glare of some sort. Perhaps she figured out who she was? I didn't know her.

"Hiniku? Humph. That slut! When she dies they will have to bury her in a Y-shaped coffin! Yes, I remember her now," she paused, laughing a bit. Hiniku balled her fists up a bit. "Troublesome little brat that Niku was. Tell me, how is she now?"

"I'll tell you what buu—aaah—aaah—"

"She's going to blow!" Nanako exclaimed.

"—Chuuuu!"

Suddenly there was this bright light. Hiniku's hair had gotten excessively longer and was put into two high pony-tails. Her dress was exquisite and feminine. The peau de sois satin gown featured a breathtaking skirt with gather detailing. It had a boned bustier, which fit like a glove, and formed a charming neckline. A stunning crystal piece completed the orange dress. It was fully lined and had a hidden back zipper. She wore green gloves and heels. She stood with a smirk on her face.

"What? Long time no see, Rhiannon. Thought I'd ney'er see your boat again? You thought you could mend wiv 'er, eh? Not going ter work."

"Love, What just happened?" Misty blinked. Hiniku turned towards Misty and smirked a little.

"Blimey! Sorry abaaaht that. The name's Niku around deese parts. But they calls me Orange around da uvver parts. Now, abaaaht dis girl, mate. Rhiannon. You an' allk me da neves seas an' stole me treasure! And Gov's gonna make sure you pay, mate! Nuff said, yeah?"

"Gov?" I said, raising a brow.

She sighed, pointing at Tasumi. "Yeah, me Gov ken' n dover there. Now, let's 'andle dis quickly, eh? Niku China Plate Anchors!" She turned around and two strings appeared tied around her fingers as if she was some kind of puppet master. The strings started to glow until the once glowing partials turned into a pair of shining twin anchors. She swung them with ease, like she actually had strength that she wanted to show off! She made me angry! "Rum is for drinking and not burning!" she chanted, swinging her left hand with force and possibly intimidating me with her weapons. Who did she think she was? "I'm 'ere ter put an end ter all ov dis fighting! I wan' ter make me Guv 'appy—and she'll be 'appy when I snap 'er back ter reality! Cherry, you shouldn't really drive fer an old bat like Rhiannon! She'll only brin' you dearf an' destrucshun!"

Nanako picked up her guitar, smirking. "I've got this one! I'm gonna like you, Niku!"

"You fools! You think I can be beat so easily! I killed your precious Masami! I did!" And that's when Rhiannon picked up her staff and shot a beam out of it. Nanako jumped it front of it, thinking she could stop it from hitting Tasumi, but it went through her. I wanted to be more mature, more reasonable, I wanted to have a big, fat, forgiving heart that could contain all this rage and still find room for kind, beneficent love, but I didn't have it in me. I just didn't. This hatred overtook me, and I couldn't help myself. I wanted so much to forget the past, but it wouldn't go away, it hung around like an open wound that refused to scar over, an open window that no amount of muscle could shut.

And I guess it was what made me jump in front of the beam. Taking it all for her.


A/N: Niku's accent is hell man! Hell! Going back and fixing it and trying to save it was horrible! By Gods I can only hope you guys can understand what she's saying... Even if it's just a little bit! ._.

But you know what this means? I'll never do first person with her no sir. XD;;; I'll write monsters and killers and inanimate objects, but holy cow am I not going to be writing her anytime soon. So you know what this means? She'll prolly have the least lines in the story. Until she explains her exsistance! o_e Gah, it's just horrible. I know I can't read cockney myself, so why did I decide to give her an accent? XD

... It was Dragon Quest, wasn't it? XD

Neves = seven.

China Plate, as in Niku's weapon name, equals... Mate. I guess. ._. ... Eff man, don't ask me. XD I speak perfect English! D': Guess what those leaning parts are? They're from A Wish That Will Never Come True! And the chapter title! Also from it. No excuse me while I go lay down and wonder why my head keeps pulsating... Man I just miss Yuki. XD In this time of need, she's the only one who understands my paaaain.