Have a long chapter as bribe for my absence!


With a groan Merlin woke up, for a moment not able to do anything but sit still and listen. She could hear grumblings and the sound of someone walking around on a wooden floor, but she could not for the life of her remember where she was. Why was she not waking up in her bed in her room in Camelot? Why was her head hurting so? And why on earth was it so hard to open her eyes?

Suddenly everything came back to her, and in blind panic she tried to move, only to find that she could not. She then tried to reach for that ocean of gold always inside her, only to find that it was gone. Or, not gone exactly, but where there normally was a flood there were now nothing more than a thin creek, a small rill of power. At this discovery Merlin's eyes flared open and her struggle against whatever was holding her to the chair she was currently sitting in doubled tenfold, but all in vain.

Her captor's back was turned to her as he appeared to be mixing something together in a mortar, but what she couldn't see. Soon enough though her captor turned around, and she was face to face with a face she hadn't seen in five long years, a face she had hoped to never see again; the face of her brother's uncle, the face of Agravaine. He looked at least fifteen years older than when she last had seen him, his hair long and greasy, with grey strokes in it, his face unshaved and his eyes bloodshot. There was a crazy gleam in them, and Merlin found herself fearing for her life.

"So, you're awake now?" Agravaine said, "I must admit that I was a bit surprised to see you, of all people, on my doorstep. But, what can I say, sometimes fate do smile upon some of us. Or are you just too stupid for your own good, going around knocking on random doors in the woods like that. Did Uther learn you nothing, little princess?

"But well well, since you're here I thought that I might seize the opportunity. You see, since I was driven from Camelot I haven't been living under the best of conditions exactly," He raised his hands and looked around the room as if to say 'see, this is what I must endure', and Merlin could actually agree that the cot was a mess, dark and damp. But that didn't stop her from exclaiming;

"What the hell do you mean 'driven from Camelot'?! You tried to take the throne! And now you stand there making it sound like it was our fault! You brought this upon yourself, you lying, false, family betraying excuse of a man!"

"Oh, the witch can talk" at this Merlin flinched, because how could this man know of her powers? "But does she know what she's talking of?" Agravaine continued "'Family betraying' she says, but don't you know that it WAS UTHER WHO BETRAYED ME FIRST!" Here he started screaming, saliva flying from his mouth and landing in Merlin's face. She winced and whished desperately that she could wipe it away. Agravaine took a deep breath and seemed to be trying to cool himself down.

"First that filthy, greedy thing you call a father laid his eyes upon my lovely sister. She was no older than you, and he was more than twice her age, but what the king of Camelot wants, the king of Camelot gets. At first she wanted nothing to do with him, but after a while she seemed content, even happy in her new role as queen, with her husband by her side.

"But then of course, he had to go and get her pregnant. She died giving birth to that awful little baby who was just like his father. My sister's life for his heir."

Merlin felt nausea well up inside her at Agravaine's words. How could he speak this way of her brother? His own nephew? And all those years he'd stayed at Arthur's side, while plotting to overthrow him behind his back? It was awful, and in that moment Merlin learnt what it felt like to hate another human being. But Agravaine continued, and the more he spoke, the more horrified Merlin felt, and the more her hatred grew.

"But that wasn't even the worst of it, witch, that was just the beginning." Agravaine continued, "You see, after taking the life of my beloved sister, Uther again decided to marry. Not just any noble lady, but your mother. And from the moment I laid my eyes upon her beauty, I knew that she was the woman of my life." Agravaine said, and bile rose in Merlin's throat. "She was as beautiful as apple blossom, your mother, and I knew that I had to have her. But she was just as infatuated with Uther as he with her, and spared me no second glance. And then of course he had to get her pregnant too, and then she died and left you." Merlin felt furious, how dared he speak of her mother and father that way?!

"But no matter how I tried, I couldn't hate you. You were so small, so sick, and you looked so much like her, even as an infant. I always wanted to steal you away, raise you as my own, to pretend that your mother had been mine, but you were always too sick for me to do that." Merlin could see where this was going and she didn't like it one bit. She didn't know what'd happened that night on her sixth birthday, could only remember fussy memories and despair when she thought back to that night, but now she feared that she might learn what'd happened from the very source.

"But suddenly you were healthy again! It was no less than a miracle! Oh how I had prayed for you, and finally my prayers had been answered!"

Merlin didn't even know what to say anymore. Her magic was gone and she felt weak, and her head hurt oh so very much. It was hard to think, and his words made her see red.

"I tried to take you with me, that day when you turned six, take you away from Uther and the deceiving court, and oh how happy we would've been together, you and I! And your brother played me right in my hands. I just had to recruit Valiant to distract him, Valiant never did like the prince much anyway, and then it was easy to snatch you. The plan was perfect, there were but one thing that I hadn't counted in; your magic!"

"You were a little baby witch, hiding right under the nose of Uther Pendragon. It would've been funny, had you not used your powers on me that night, and by doing so foiling my plan. But, at least I could still blame it on little, beloved Arthur. I don't know what kind of sorcery he had gone through that'd left him without a shadow, but whatever it was I used it to my utmost advantage. Poor Uther, such a fool, taking the words of me over that his own son, so blinded by thoughts of sorcery."

Merlin didn't even know what to feel anymore, she just felt empty, empty and unable to even process the words coming out of her brother's uncle's mouth, and gods how she missed her magic. She wondered for a brief moment how exactly Agravaine had managed to steal it, or whatever it was he'd done.

"I knew then that I'd never get to have you by myself, just like your mother you belonged to him, and so I decided to steal the throne for myself instead. He took what was rightfully mine, and I was going to take what was rightfully his. It didn't work though, I got banished, and here we are, you and I. I don't know why you came here, and neither do I want to, but one thing I do know is this; last time I saw you you were but a child, but now you have grown, become a woman, and you look just like your mother. You have his jaw though, and his eyes, but the rest is all from your mother."

Merlin felt apprehension at his words. "What have you done to me? What…What are you going to do to me?" Her voice sounded small and she hated herself for it, hated herself for the stuttering. She sounded like a scared little girl. But isn't that what I am? A traitorous voice inside her whispered, I should never have left the castle. I'll never find Arthur! I am just a stupid little girl!

"Oh witch, I've bound you. With cold iron. It'll bind your magic, no matter how strong. I always have some lying around, just in case. And as for what I'm going to do to you, oh, you'll see…you'll see…"

And with that as his cue Agravaine turned around and went over to the table where he'd been standing before, back turned. Merlin could hear him slamming with pots and walking across the floor to presumably pick some herb from some shelf to have in whatever mix he was doing. She didn't see him though. She'd closed her eyes the moment his back was turned, concentrating on that small, small creek of gold inside her trying to make it bigger, trying to make her magic work again. And slowly, oh so slowly she could feel it returning, but it was nowhere near strong enough to free her.

How could she have been so stupid as to let herself be captured like this? So arrogant as to think that she could take on whatever was out there? What would her father say? Gaius? What would Arthur think of her now? If he was even alive…

Suddenly Agravaine turned around again, and as he walked towards her with whatever herb mix he'd been doing in his hands he started to speak again.

"I'm not going to kill you, little princess. I loved your mother way too dearly to ever be able to do that. But, you see, Uther has banned me from his lands, and all the other kingdoms know of my looks, and were I ever to set foot outside of these woods I would probably be a burning corpse on Uther's courtyard before I could even say Camelot. Everyone wants to be in the good graces of the king of Camelot after all. But was I perhaps to look different, let's say, was I to possess your beauty, then I could move freely in all of the five kingdoms and beyond. No one would know me, and I could have a new life."

After he'd said this Agravaine put some of the herb mix into Merlin's mouth, and some into his own. It tasted foul and Merlin tried to spit it out, but Agravaine just put his hand over her mouth and Merlin was forced to swallow.

"You see, little witch, in the five years since I last saw the towers of Camelot I've had a lot of time to learn things, and I've learned oh so many things, magical things, things your little princess head couldn't even imagine."

And after that he started to mumble magical words, and Merlin could feel the power humming in the air, and she could feel her own magic respond, growing stronger by the second, soon, soon she would have enough power to break free. Gaius'd once said that she was one of her kind, and it was not for nothing!

But suddenly Merlin could feel herself change, and she could see the change on Agravaine to. Gone was the long and greasy black hair with grey in it, gone was the fat belly and the eyes that were too far apart. Gone were the stubble and the toad mouth and his whole look. Before her stood a handsome man, looking a bit like her uncle but not quite. This man looked attractive, but in an almost feminine way, and that was when it hit Merlin. He stole my beauty! She thought, and suddenly such rage filled her, such rage over this man, this pathetic excuse of a man who'd smiled and stood by her father's side but had secretly been plotting for the downfall of her family, who hated his own nephew, his own brother in law, and that was when the stream of gold inside her was finally, finally enough for her to burst her chain and throw the now much more handsome-looking man several meters backwards before he hit a wall.

Agravaine, who'd stood and looked at his new self in a mirror, was utterly unprepared for Merlin's sudden attack, and had only a chance to throw a big-eyed and disbelieving stare her way before he was thrown into the wall.

The chains holding her and her magic back had ruptured at her sudden burst of magic and Merlin felt tired to the bone, every ounce of anger gone with the outburst of power. She knew that now was not the time to rest though, so she ran out of the cottage as quickly as she could, grabbing the horse she'd seen standing outside of it when she first came, jumped up on it, and started to gallop away, not daring to look back. She didn't even know if Agravaine was dead or alive, all she knew was that she had to get out, get away from that place as quickly as she could.

The horse was old but more than happy to run, obviously it'd been a while since it last had the chance to run freely through the forest. Merlin, having just jumped upon the horse without either saddle nor reins, was just trying to hold on to the mane (which was quite long) and steering the horse as good as she could with her legs. She'd never been a good rider (since she hadn't had much practice in her early years), and she prayed to every god she knew that she wouldn't fall off as she desperately clung to the horse during the wild ride.

Merlin didn't know how long she and the horse galloped through the woods, but it felt like hours, and after a while the horse broke off to a trot, only to break off to gait a while later. Both the princess and the horse were soaked with sweat, and the horse was shaking after the wild ride. Merlin could only hope that Agravaine couldn't and wouldn't follow them.

When they came to a small creek the horse stopped and started to drink, Merlin jumping off and doing the same. Never had she tasted something so sweet! She hadn't even realized how thirsty she'd been. The sun was starting to set already and she realized that she'd spent a whole night and day in Agravaine's cottage, and a wave of relief flooded because she'd gotten away, she'd made it!

It wasn't until then she laid eyes upon herself in the water. She did not look the same at all. Her mouth looked like that of a frog, way too broad and her lips much thinner than they'd use to be, her nose too big, her eyes too far apart. Her hair, that'd before fallen down her back in shining black curls, was now matted and dull. And the princess knew, deep down, that she was being stupid, but none the less could she help the tears that welled up in her eyes. Now no man would ever look upon her again. What would her father say?

But, a little voice whispered, you got away with your life. You can still go and search for Arthur! He didn't cry like a baby when he gave away his shadow for you! But that only made Merlin cry even more. She was far away in the middle of nowhere with no food and only a horse as company! And she was not even a bit closer to finding Arthur!

Suddenly said horse looked upon her with big black eyes and buffed Merlin on her shoulder. It actually made her feel a bit better, so she hugged it for a while before she sat up on it and it started to walk. She didn't know where, but they were going somewhere. It felt a tiny bit better.

"It's just you and me now" She whispered to the horse, "And I don't even know what to call you."

"I'm simply going to call you Grey" She then said, "because of your colour, obviously. And now I'm talking to a horse, great!" She muttered. At this the horse turned its eyes towards her and looked at her for a while, before they continued onwards in the thick, darkening forest.