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Chapter 9

"Tobias, there you are Darling. I have been looking all over for you." Erica says. I feel Tris stiffen at our guest, and I am at a loss to words.

I can't believe my luck! Just as I am finally getting Tris to trust me, and open up to me about her feelings about me... Something like Erica has to pop up. Come on! I know what I want to do and what I have to do. Neither are paths I really want to walk down. On the one side I want to side Erica to hell, tell her she isn't welcome to join us. But I know better, it will lead to great consequences. Consequences that may and will involve Tris, and I need to protect her. The only other option I have I need to apologize and play nice with Erica, with Tris right next to me. I already feel her stiffen when she saw Erica sit down. This will not end well either which way. Crap!

"My apologies, Erica. I have spent the day help fixing up the Dorms for the initiates that start next week." I say as I turn to her and bow my head.

"Oh I see. Leadership in training never ends." She says with a smile. Then she looks at me glancing down quickly as if I forgot something. My eyes follow her glance to her plate and I forgot I am in Abnegation, I need to serve her.

"Of course." I turn back towards the serving trays that hold the food, and I see Tris from the corner of my eyes. She is frowning with a sad and disappointment look in her eye. I wish she could understand why I have to do this. No, that's no true. I wish I could run back to Dauntless with Tris over my shoulders.

"Are the Dorms in bad shape?" Erica asks.

"Not to bad. We have already managed to finish one Dorm." I say as I finish plating her food and then bowing my head once again and thanking her for thee company. I am starting to need that aspirin, all this head bobbing. I hear Tris give out a long sigh and burring her face back into her food. I wish somehow I could fix things. I wish I could kick Erica out of here, wish I could turn and take Tris into my arms kiss her and tell her that I love her and only her. Damn Abnegation!

"I should be going, I have errands to run. I will meet you back at the dorms to finish." Tris says quickly getting up and making her exit. Never even giving me a second look. Damn it, I notice she barely touched her food.

"Tobias, Tobias! You haven't heard a word I have said." Erica says almost too loudly next to me. She followed where my glance was a moment ago. To her it's just a untouched plate, to me it was the possibilities of something that could have began. My hands ball up, I take a deep breath trying to remind myself to cool down. I need to keep playing stupid with Erica. I need to let her think I don;t suspect her.

"Me apologies, Erica. It's just been a crazy, and tiring morning. Please continue. What were you saying?" I say politely.

"I have already spoken to our Priest and he is willing to meet with us on Sunday to speak about the ceremony. We need to speak about the ceremony and what traditions we would like with in the ceremony." She finishes satisfied with herself. Shit, that's the last thing I want to do. Especially with Erica.

"Oh I'm so sorry, Erica. I had promised to volunteer in the factionless sector that day." I say. Good enough excuse.

"All day? He can meet with us after you are done." She says.

"I am not sure how late of the hour I maybe." I say taking another bite and than another I have to get out of here. NOW!

"Tobias, slow down. You will make yourself choke, eating like that." She says shocked at my speed.

"I just have a bust after noon to get to." I say.

"Well I will come with you, I will help ease your schedule. After all that's what a good wives do!" She says with a smirk. Not if I have anything to do with that. Over my dead body!

"Don't trouble yourself, Erica. It's all hard labor. I will finish quickly in time." I say starting to stand up to leave.

"Well I will be seeing you at dinner than." She says smiling again.

"Dinner? Tonight?" I question.

"Did you forget? Tonight, dinner, my house. I'm cooking." She says with a frown on her face.

"Oh." I say not being able to find another excuse.

"Seven, ok? She says. I nod as my answer and bid my Good Bye.

Well bright side, I can look around her house and see if there is anything I can find there. The down side I will have to put up with her for a few hours. I rather eat dirt at this point.

Since I have little time still before I have to make it back to the dorm. I decide to head back home, I know Tris barely ate anything before Erica showed up and messed everything up. I walked into the kitchen using last nights chicken and bread, I decide to make her a sandwich and wrap it up.

I approach the second dorm, right next to the first one that we already cleaned, fixed and stocked. Just like before Tris has gotten to work. She must have lied about those errands and came straight her. All the windows are open and the front door is wide open. I walk in, throwing my coat on a chair once again.

"Tris, I'm back." I call out for her. Nothing. But I hear movements upstairs. Maybe she is ignoring me. She must be really upset about what happened at lunch. "Tris, I brought you a sandwich. I know you barely touched your lunch." Still nothing. Alright maybe I deserve the silent treatment. I walk up the stairs taking two steps at a time. I reach the bathroom, and there she is on her hands and knees scrubbing the tub. "Tris, come on talk to me."

"About what? About you having your fiance join us for lunch... Or about me stupidity deciding to pour my heart out to you. Just to have it stomped on! Of course, I should know better by now. Don't worry I blame my self." She says scrubbing even harder.

"Tris, come on. I didn't know she was going to show up. If I thought she would have showed I would have taken you back to my house for lunch." I say.

"Yea, cause that sounds even better." She spits out.

"Tris, I meant what I said. I miss you. God Tris, I'm in love with you!" I say running both hands through my hair, letting the words slip through my mouth. I see her stop at my words. She stands slowly and turns.

"What did you say?" She says. I know that look, she heard me but needs to hear it again to make sure what she heard.

"Beatrice Prior, I am in love with you. I always have been. You are the only woman I want." I say our eyes never leaving each other as I slowly walk up to her.

"Tobias, we can't. You can't." She says. But I can't take it anymore I need to feel her. Before I can stop myself, I reach out cradling her face with both hands and crash my lips into hers. She doesn't respond at first, but seconds later I feel her waver finally give. Her lips begin to mold with mine slowly moving along with mine. I breath her scent in deeply, cherishing every moment. When air becomes a necessity we finally break from our kiss, only to have our foreheads resting against each other. This is how it should be. I know she feels the same, I felt it in our kiss.

"Tobias, we can't-" She say but I stop her before she could finish.

"I don't give a damn, Tris." I say just realizing what I just called her.

"Tris?" She asks.

"There is a lot I have to explain, but first you really need to eat something." I say hearing her stomach starting to talk. She laughs when she realizes that I did hear her stomach too. I kiss her temple, placing my hand on her lower back I guided her back downstairs so she can eat. I sit down with her while she eats, keeping her company. I know I am staring, but I can't help it. I can't seem to look away scared that she might disappear on me. I don't want to scare her, but keeping my hands on her like I once did.


Flashback

It was the night we escaped Erudite, I came so close to loosing her for good. I thought I did. I heard the guards talking out side my holding cell, speaking about today was her execution. She was no longer of use to Jeanine. My heart broke into pieces hearing those words, knowing I was incapable of getting to her, unable to stop what was about to happen. The love of my life, the only woman for me, I was about to loose her any minute. Never having the chance to say Good bye, never having the chance to say how much I really loved her, to never feel her body touching mine, or our lips crashing into each others. I couldn't take it any more I start crying, screaming, banging walls and the small and only window. "I need to see Tris Prior." Was all I kept screaming, over and over again. Then finally I saw it, her small perfect hand on the small window. I stopped screaming and stopped breathing, placing my hand against hers on the glass. Wishing the glass wasn't stopping us from touching. I closed my eyes for just a second taking in the moment, when I reopened my eyes she was gone.

It felt like hours, I sat on the bench in my cell. Too numb to yell or move. I felt dead inside. Knowing that any second she would stop breathing leaving me here alone in this world. Then the doors open, and Peter carried her lifeless body in. I didn't think my heart could stop beating at the sight of her. Was it not enough to torture us over and over they had to rub it in my face that I couldn't save her.

Peter quickly explained he injected her with a serum to make her appear dead. She will slowly gain the use of her body slowly but we needed to escape, now. No time to wait. We managed to escape, making our way back to Abnegation where the factionless took up residence for the time being. I never allowed Tris out of my sight after we left Erudite. I always kept a hand, a finger, something touching her. I was so scared that if I stopped touching her she would disappear. That was the night I made a vow to her, "I'll be your family now."

End of Flashback


"Tobias, are you alright?" I hear Tris, voice pulling me from my memories. I glance down to notice her hand laced in mine. I can't help but smile at the feeling of our hands joined together. I missed her so much. "Are you having regrets."

"What? No of course not, Tris. I meant what I said. I love you so much. You have no idea." That was the truth.

"What are we going to do about Erica and Robert though? I don't want to hurt Robert, he is a good man." She says.

"Does that mean...you are considering us?" I ask her.

"I know that there are things you are keeping from me. I feel it. I won't pressure you, Tobias. I hope one day you will trust me to tell me the truth." She says glancing down. I reach out with a finger lifting her chin so she looks at me.

"Hey, I do trust you. With everything I have. It's just..." I say not sure how to finish that statement.

"Just, what?" She asks.

"There are a lot to tell you. A lot of it you may not want to believe. I'm scared I might scare you off, or you might think I am insane." I say in a serious tone.

"You won't scare me off, Tobias. I promise. I am here, if you will have me. I will talk to Robert, if..." She doesn't have to finish, I know what she is getting to. I lean into her brushing my lips softly against hers.

"I will always want you. Now and Forever." I say before going in for another slow tender kiss. "There are things going on though that we have to figure out. It involved Erica and Marcus, and us. I am not sure yet exactly wait. I have to figure it out." She nods. At my words.

"We should finish up. Robert is suppose to come and walk me home at five." She says starting to stand up. She sees the hurt in my eyes and gives me assuring smile. "I will talk to him, Tobias. We will figure out this whole thing TOGETHER, ok" I nod feeling the relief hit me like a tidal wave.

We're good. Her and me, I know nothing else is but we are.

We get back to work, tackling each room at a time. Just like before I fix and she cleans, once things are fixed in the room I turn to help with the cleaning. We work in complete comfortable silence, smiling at each other, every now and then reaching out so our hands will touch for a moment at a time. We finish by four and we have a hour before Robert is to meet Tris here. I hate the thought of her walking away with another man, and I to walk into another woman's house.

"Why did you call me Tris?" She ask as we sit on the floor of one of the bedrooms. We figure it would be more safe upstairs behind a close door, then to be downstairs where someone can see us. Here we can hold hands, I can hold her close to me, I can kiss her and no one will ever know. We are still in Abnegation were these acts are forbidden, until marriage. Not to mention we are both promised to two other members of Abnegation.

"That's... your nickname." I say I don't want to keep things from her anymore.

"My nickname?" She says pulling back to look at me.

"Yea, I told you there is a lot I have to still tell you and-" But I don't get to finish that statement, we hear someone downstairs calling out for Beatrice. I know it's Robert, he is early of course.

"That's Robert, I'll talk to him. I'll always be here for you Tobias. You know where to find me if you need me. I'll see you Monday." She says giving me one last peck on the lips and stands up. She straightens her cloths and walks out closing the door behind her. I wait ten minutes before I exit. No ones the wiser.