Close Encounters 20


She was asleep, curled at his hip as he sat up in bed. James had fussed and woken up, apparently hungry but not too concerned about it. He seemed to be assured of his eventually getting fed, so long as he was being held. Like one necessitated the other, and James was content to wait it out. Or maybe the boy wasn't a morning person; he looked sleepy still.

Which was good. Castle thought Kate could use another hour of sleep too; she had perpetual dark circles under her eyes. And, truthfully, he couldn't put his son down. He just couldn't stop holding him, staring at him, every chance he had.

Castle was a father.

He couldn't believe he'd almost missed the boy's birth. Nearly six weeks old - tomorrow - and he'd been in France on October 17th, half the world away. Of course, he had gone because Kate had kept reassuring him that it was too early, and he'd stupidly thought that something as huge as labor would have some pretty big warning signs.

At least he had made it back in time.

"I made it, didn't I, kid?" he said softly to his son. "I'm your dad - of course I'm going to make it. And I was the first person to hold you, and I was the one who gave you to your mother-"

"More ways than one," Kate sighed into the mattress.

He smiled and glanced her way, saw her eyes open, hair splayed around her face, gorgeous and sleepy. She sat up, slowly, and leaned against his shoulder, watching the baby from her perch.

She'd been leaning against him a lot lately. The exhaustion. Nearly falling down the stairs. He didn't know if that was normal, didn't know if the disruption to James's feeding schedule was normal, but he thought maybe they should ask.

"Hey, we have his six weeks' appointment with Dr Dennison's friend - that's tomorrow. Dr Jain."

"I remember," she smiled. It was their first time with the new guy, a pediatrician that Dennison had recommended, and he knew they were both nervous about it. Inviting someone new into the mix, into the regimen as well. Dr Jain seemed completely competent and had such a sterling reputation, but the regimen made everything dicey.

"We can ask him about the feeding schedule," he offered.

"Yeah, good idea. And the growth spurt thing. Dennison said - when she came by for his ten day check-up - she said that-"

"I know," he interrupted, shrugging. "But we agreed that we couldn't afford to bring in someone else just then. In case." In case it had been really bad, in case James had needed Boyd and Threkeld immediately, skipping straight over the pediatrician. For the last six months, Boyd had been dusting up on his pediatrics, so had Logan, but Dennison had argued for a regular guy, at least in the beginning, at least until James required something more.

Tomorrow. And yeah, Castle wasn't optimistic, but that was his job. He had to protect his son, his family - his wife. She was part of the regimen too.

His wife who was yawning into his shoulder and stretching so widely that James had startled awake, staring at her. He even opened his mouth as if in echo.

"Hey, baby," she murmured, laughing. But she turned a kiss into Castle, her lips soft against his jaw. "Bet he's hungry."

"Yeah, I think so, he's got his tractor beams on." James had started that the last few days, staring intently at them like he was trying to will them to act. Locking them in with those grey ghost eyes. "Don't worry, little wolf, it's coming. Give your mom a chance to wake up."

When she was ready, Castle shifted James over into her arms and she began to nurse him. Still, Kate leaned heavily against Castle, sharing the moment. They'd been trying to feed him bottles during the nights, just so Kate could sleep, but she always wanted the mornings with him.

He understood. And the three of them in bed together was pretty peaceful, like nothing else.

"Hey, son," he murmured to the thin, small face. James was a tiny thing, his eyelashes so thick and his eyes set like Kate's; he had the look of her in the face, though she joked that he probably had his father's nose.

Castle stroked his finger over the boy's cheek and the baby turned his head into the touch, wriggling with it, seeking his warmth. When Kate was tired, she did that too, nudging like a cat.

"Stop distracting him," she chuckled, guiding James's cheek to latch on again. Castle dropped his hand to the top of her thigh and watched them, his wife sagged heavily against his side, as if the strength was draining out of her.

"Kate?"

"Hm?" She even sounded tired, like she'd fall asleep any second. But it had only been six weeks since labor, which hell yes was traumatic, and the alert monitor had the tendency to go off whenever James wasn't situated just right on the mat, and the feeding schedule was messed up lately, and so of course she was tired. It made sense; it really did.

Plus, the supplemental pills had been such a boost, no matter that she was still taking prenatal vitamins while she nursed; they weren't those supplements, weren't the carefully selected elements of the regimen that just - energized. The difference - now that she didnt have them - was going to be great.

He still had to ask.

"You okay, babe?" He turned and planted his kiss at the top of her head, burying it in her hair. The scent of mild soap laced through the honeysuckle of her lotion and he drew his arm around her, his heart suddenly in his throat.

"I'm tired," she finally answered. "Just - so tired, Rick. I didn't think it would be this exhausting - not sure I thought it all the way through, to be honest. And I guess being pregnant was so easy that this is like - shit - this is real life. You know? Hitting me pretty hard."

It was the most raw and honest admission he'd heard from her other than I love you. And last week's Here's your son. But this one didn't feel as good as those; it felt like a kind of defeat.

"Okay," he measured out. "Okay. We'll - we'll figure this out. It will be okay. The pediatrician will help, I'm sure."

"I really should be better than this. It's ridiculous," she sighed. "I just - I can't even keep my eyes open half the time."

"That's okay," he repeated. "I really think that's normal. A baby is exhausting. The appointment tomorrow, we'll just ask him about it. I'm sure it's fine. And you know, just in case, we'll talk to Boyd about it. And Dr Dennison. We'll figure it out."

"Yeah," she sighed, her cheek against his shoulder, heavy and weighted. "Yeah, we should ask them, all of them."

That she agreed so easily - it scared the shit out of him.

He just didn't want those damn pills - the regimen - to have done this to her. He didn't want that to be the case.


When Kate woke from a too-disjointed nap, she found herself alone on the couch with the late afternoon light coming through the windows. She licked her lips and swallowed, struggled off the couch.

She needed... something. This wasn't cutting it. She had to break this cycle of unfulfilling sleep and muzzy days. Had to get out of the house.

James was happy in the jumper swing they'd set up in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, and she found Castle at the kitchen table fiddling with an old laptop.

She scraped her hand through her hair and stood swaying in the living room before she came fully aware.

Fuck, she was scrambled up. This lack of sleep thing was killing her. Despite Castle heroically taking on what had turned out to be quite a lot of the night-time feedings, she was still draggy and done in.

Fresh from an unhelpful nap, she could admit there might be something more to it. It wasn't just lack of sleep. Her body was jangling and they couldn't officially have sex until tomorrow, and if she could just hold out until then...

"Castle," she rasped.

He turned in the chair and lifted an eyebrow in question.

"I need to run."

He laughed, smirking a little at the end of it. Yeah, she heard how that sounded, but he knew her. It wasn't run away, just move.

"Go run," he said. "James has two more bottles waiting in the fridge. We're good."

She still hesitated. Felt like she shouldn't be running. But she needed... something. A chance to go.

"Okay," she said.

He glanced up from the laptop again, tilted his head at her. His eyes were sharply blue in the golden, afternoon light.

"Okay, I'm going," she smiled slowly.

He smiled back. "Love you."

He really, really did.


She didn't know where Castle was. Or the baby.

When she'd shucked her tennis shoes and swiped the sweat off the back of her neck, the house felt temporarily abandoned. Not empty, just waiting.

Kate moved to the entry way and paused at the bottom of the stairs, listened for her boys. She couldn't hear them, and though James was a quiet thing, she would often catch Castle talking up a storm to him when he thought he was alone. She was pretty sure they weren't upstairs.

Living room was empty. Kate kicked her shoes towards the closet, yanked off her socks and threw them after. She curled sweat-licked strands of hair behind her ears. Her body felt buzzing and strange after so long without hard work, but in a good way. She took the dining room shortcut that had turned into baby central station, and she came through to the empty kitchen.

The light was red-streaked lonely sunset, but she spotted the full laundry basket at the top of the basement stairs, the door open.

She stepped over it and went down, found Castle in the panic room with James held in the crook of his arm. The boy was squirming and fussy, but Castle softly bounced him as he scrolled through the security checks on the computers.

"So," Kate said slowly, trying not to laugh. "I leave my guys for an hour to go running and it's time for the panic room?"

Castle lifted his head with a grin. "Looks like it."

She came forward, the sweat still clinging to her skin and steaming in the relative chill of the basement. She kissed the soft spot on her son's head and then curled her fingers around Castle's shoulder, tugging him in for a kiss of his own.

"Rick, love, what are you doing down here?"

"I forgot all of this stuff needed updating," he shrugged. "James was missing you and I finished the work on the laptop, and it reminded me, so I came down here with him. A little distraction."

"You - um - okay. Sweetheart, you've wrapped him in what looks like four blankets plus his winter coat. Which is like a stay-puff marshmallow man."

"It gets damp down here," he defended.

Kate bit her bottom lip. "Yes, yes, it does. You're so right." She cast a look at poor James and finally took him out of his cautious father's arms. "Okay, my little wolf, I know. Daddy wanted you to be warm."

"I think you're making fun of me. In front of our kid."

Kate grinned and lifted her eyes to him. "Don't worry - what did you say? He's too young to know the difference."

"The tone-"

"Oh, whatever," she laughed, lifting up to kiss him hard. "You're sweet. And a little intense, you know."

"I know. But he was cold. His fingers and his nose were chilled even upstairs."

Kate glanced to James, a flicker of awareness struggling through that wouldn't quite connect. She gave up and turned back to Castle. "Come on, leave the computers to update and help me unwrap our marshmallow. He's hungry. As usual."

"Fine. Make fun. See if I care. James appreciates it, staying nice and toasty."

Kate cupped the back of James's head and cradled him up against her shoulder. "Here we go. Come on."

James's head bobbed against her shoulder as she mounted the stairs, and she knew he was watching his Daddy following them. His little body got excited, and he started making noises, almost like he was trying to talk.

Making that connection.

She had a feeling that Castle was making faces at him over her shoulder, and she was distracted by it, and then the dog was rushing past her legs to get back upstairs, Sasha whom she hadn't even noticed down there, and it completely caught her off guard.

So completely that she forgot the laundry basket.

Kate stepped right into it, her bare toes catching the decorative holes in the side, torquing her foot as she stumbled. She gasped, but Castle grunted her name in warning and reached out to catch her and the baby both, yanking her hard back against his chest - and tearing her foot out of the basket's side.

"Oh, God," she moaned.

"Kate. Shit. Kate, are you okay?"

"I think I broke my foot," she gasped, swallowing hard, her arms shaky around the baby. Her foot pulsed heat, crawling under her skin with pain.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I left the damn laundry basket. That's my fault. Fuck, come here, let me-"

"Take - take him-"

"No, no, I got you." And then Castle was scooping her up into his arms and carrying her through the kitchen to the Ugly Couch.

Her foot was mangled agony. Serious, debilitating agony. Holy fuck. How could broken toes hurt so badly?

She'd scared James; he was mewling against her neck and she had to get her shit together and loosen her arms, pat his back. "It's okay, okay, it's okay," she murmured, her voice still shaky. It was not okay; fuck, it hurt.

Sasha was whining now, and Castle was on his knees before her, gently catching hold of her ankle, studying her foot.

"Oh, fuck," he muttered. "You're bleeding. Oh, shit, Kate. Hang on. Can you keep holding him-?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she chanted, cupping the back of James's neck, still bundled up in his coat and winter clothes. She brushed a kiss to the baby's cheek just to keep from crying herself, began to slowly ease her fingers into his coat to take it off. Distract herself.

Castle had darted to the basement stairs and she heard him thumping down hard, racing for the first aid kit they kept in the panic room. She didn't want to look at her foot; it hurt in a way that felt really wrong.

She swallowed back the urge to be sick, realized that for a while now, she'd been feeling really wrong. The running had given her a burst of energy, but it hadn't been a good run. And now this.

Castle came pounding back up the stairs and burst into the kitchen, startling poor James who was still hungry and trying to wriggle down to find her, not happy with her undressing him.

"I'm gonna have to bandage this, Kate, honey, to stop the bleeding. You're going to need stitches. And I think you broke a couple of toes. So it's-"

"Going to hurt like hell?" she muttered. "Yeah, already does. Go for it."

"Um. Let me take James."

She cracked open an eye and glanced at his pale face. She'd never seen him look at her like that. Oh, actually - that time in Russia. Well a fucking broken foot wasn't Russia.

"Here," she muttered, offering the baby over.

James wasn't happy about being separated from her, but Castle put him in the bouncing swing - he was, at least, now coatless - and Castle started the swing, getting James quiet and, if not happy, then attentive enough to stop mewling.

Kate made faces at him and he startled, looking like he might laugh if he possibly could.

And then Castle bound her foot.

She yelped and jerked, and James cried out as if in sympathy, and Kate clutched the edge of the couch cushion and stared down at Castle.

James whimpered from the swing and Kate's heart thrashed in her chest with the pulsing flare of pain.

"Fuck, that really hurt," she said raggedly.

"Yeah," he winced. "You're going to need stitches. I'm going to call someone from the office to come out. And then - we'll probably have to take you to get x-rays, babe. You might need a walking boot."

She sucked in a breath to keep from passing out, swallowed hard past the terrible taste in her mouth.

And then she admitted the truth. "I think we need to call Boyd. I think... I think there's something really wrong here."

Castle stared up at her, his mouth dropping open and his face blanching.

She glanced to James in the swing, his pitiful face, his too-skinny face. "It's occurred to me," she started quietly, her eyes on the baby for courage, "that if he's going through a growth spurt, he's not doing any growing. And I'm - not enough for him."

"What?" Castle croaked. "You're exactly-"

"I mean. I kicked a laundry basket and broke my whole foot, Castle. I can't stay awake. I can't fall asleep either. I'm falling on the stairs and my arms will go weak and when I went running just now - I had to sit down and put my head between my knees twice."

"Kate," he rasped.

"And - and Castle - I'm pretty sure that it shouldn't be possible for me to sleep eight hours and not wake up needing to breastfeed. But I've been having trouble and I don't think he's getting full lately, and that's maybe why he wakes up so often, and I'm not sure I'm doing this right."

"Kate," he croaked. "God."

She finally looked at him. "I stopped taking the pills the day he was born. You know that, right? You believe me? Because I-"

"I know, love. I know you did. I-" He stopped, face going blank with shock. "Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. That's what you mean. No pills. And so James..."

She saw him look at the baby, really look, the always hungry and the thinning face and how he wasn't sleeping like he had been.

"He needs more than I'm giving him," she said finally. "And he's taking all of what I do have."

Castle bowed his head. "I read - when I read about the growth spurt." He lifted his head and gave her a stone-eyed look. "When I read - it said that you should be sure you don't stop the prenatal vitamins. For yourself. But not once did I make the connection with the damn pills. Fuck, I'm an idiot."

Oh, that made her feel better. Despite the way her foot pulsed and burned, bound by the gauze. It was natural, really. James needed extra nutrients right now from her - and hadn't he all his adorable parasitic life? If the baby book was saying take the prenatal vitamins then they should be able to fix this with the pills. Right?

She smiled at Castle. "Okay, then. That's what we do. Call Boyd, sweetheart. And somebody to stitch up my toes. I feel like shit; we need to fix this."

Castle scraped a hand down his face but he stood up, moved as if in a dream.

"Castle," she called softly, trying to ease his way.

He turned to look at her; he looked devastated.

"Castle, love," she murmured. "Hand me the baby. Let me feed him before he really starts to cry. He's looking kinda pathetic over there."

And Castle turned mechanically towards the baby in the swing, but the moment he got his hands on James, that abstraction crumbled. He cradled the boy against his chest and kissed the top of his head; he looked both overwhelmed and grateful.

When he handed James to her, he softly kissed her cheek. "You're an amazing woman. And we're going to take care of this. I'm going to take care of this. Of you, Kate. I promise."


Castle cradled the baby against his chest, standing just outside of the kitchen where Boyd and Logan had set up a makeshift radiology station. He cupped the back of James's head and brushed his lips over the soft fuzz of dark hair, watching Logan stitch Kate's toes.

She looked bad.

Logan was grim and Boyd was setting up plates around the kitchen chair she had her foot propped on, plates to bounce the x-rays off of. The portable x-ray machine looked like nothing more than a white digital camera, a little big maybe, but nothing special.

James whimpered against him and Castle braced his head by spreading wide his fingers, letting the pressure of his forearm reassure the baby. "It's okay," he murmured. "Mommy's okay."

"Castle," she called.

He took a half-step into the kitchen and she lifted her head from her hand, smiling at him. Trying to reassure him.

"Grab a couple bottles from the fridge and try to feed him," she said, biting her bottom lip. She glanced down at Logan as if for confirmation. Logan shrugged. She sighed and looked back at Castle. "I've already taken a prenatal and one of the supplements. We can test the milk after an hour or so and see - ow. Ow, Logan."

Castle missed whatever it was Logan said to her because James mewled, his face twisting into the most pitiful look. He kept the baby close and headed back through the living room and around to the dining room, entering the kitchen that way. James seemed to sense the tension around him, and he wasn't happy.

"Hey, you're okay," he murmured into his son's ear. "You're okay and Mommy's okay too. All right? I'm gonna get you a bottle and you'll feel better."

He heard his voice crack at the end of that statement, his heart twisting. The idea that for the last few weeks James had been... starving. He'd been starving, malnourished, not getting enough.

"Agent Castle?"

He paused as he opened the fridge door, glanced over at Boyd who had detached himself from Logan and Kate.

"Yeah?"

"Blood tests are... not so good," Dr Boyd said, rubbing his hand over his bald spot. "We should've been following her more closely, and I'm sorry for that. She's lost calcium, the anemia is severe, and-"

"Because of - of the breastfeeding?" he asked, cupping his hand at James's ear as if he could shield the boy from it.

"That's our current theory, yes," Boyd answered. "We'd like to do a blood test on James."

Castle flinched and the baby whimpered against him; he avoided Boyd's look and reached for the bottle, popped off the top and pushed it into the warmer. He tried not to think about it as he heated up the bottle, his hand curling around James's neck and holding him close.

"Richard?"

He grit his teeth and finally looked at Boyd. "Did Kate say-"

"She said to ask you."

"A needle?"

"A quick prick on the bottom of his foot. He'll never remember this later, you know. It will give us a baseline to work from, find out how much James needs, what he's not getting."

James's thin little body was so light against Castle's chest. Like a helpless bird instead of the grey wolf. He softly kissed the boy's temple. "Okay. You can draw his blood. Kate?" he called.

She was biting her bottom lip, evidently waiting on his word. "Boyd wants you to wait to feed him and they'll draw blood. And then after he gets the bottle, they'll do it again."

Fuck. Just the idea made him feel sick. "And you?"

"Logan's stitched up my toes. They're going to do x-rays and see how many are broken."

"No, I mean... what are you going to need? What extra vitamins and stuff?"

Kate looked to be at a loss. He knew how she felt. It didn't seem like this was a good idea, but what else was there?

"I'll just keep taking the supplements," she said slowly.

"And we'll wean him. Soon as we can."

"Castle," she sighed.

"You can't keep - he really is a little parasite, Kate. You can't-"

"He's our son," she said harshly, straightening up in the chair and glaring at him.

He flushed and wished they weren't having this conversation in front of Boyd and Logan with the whole kitchen between them. "I know that," he gritted out. "What I'm saying is - he's taking more from you than you should give. We can concoct some kind of formula for him. Right, Logan? We can put stuff in the formula-"

"Castle, right now he needs me," she said. "Can we not - get into this right now? Let's work on getting both of us squared away, balance his needs with mine, and then we'll look at alternatives, okay?"

No. No, it was not okay. She couldn't keep - James could take some damn formula and then Kate wouldn't be ingesting something that was a known poison for fuck's sake.

But James was mewling against his collarbone, his mouth open and his body squirming, and the warmer was done and he was supposed to bare his son to the needle so he could get his blood tested.

It wasn't okay, but it's what had to be done.

"Rick," she said softly.

He glanced to Logan, and the man met his eyes with a soft nod. Castle growled and shifted James to the crook of his arm, turned to Boyd. "Fine. Let's get this over with quickly so I can feed him. He's hungry."

Hungry? He was starving.


Three broken toes later - thank God the bones of her foot only seemed to be swollen from the trauma and not broken as well - Kate was ensconced on the couch with her foot propped up on Castle's lap.

James wasn't happy, but the moment she gathered him from Castle and held him against her chest, both of them reclining against the arm of the couch, the baby seemed to settle. She brushed her lips across his head, over and over, calming him down.

Logan had given her a local in between her toes as he'd stitched the three lacerations; she had fifteen stitches along the webbing of her toes. Her foot felt fat and hot with it, but Castle had cradled ice against her skin and it seemed better.

Before they'd x-rayed her foot, Castle had been hovering right against her side with the baby restless and mewling in his arms. The degree of patheticness the three of them had made was rather sorry, but she could admit she'd needed it. Made her stronger, somehow, to know both of them had needed her to put on a brave face.

"You okay?" she asked him now. He didn't look okay. He looked sick.

"No," he said. "Not okay."

"What do you need-"

"I think maybe you're shouldn't be asked to give any more than you're already giving, Kate."

She smiled softly at him and dug her uninjured heel into his thigh, her fingers curling around James's skull. "Thank you for taking care of my baby," she said softly. "For being so calm. Being a good daddy."

He shot her a self-deprecating look, rubbed a hand down his face. "I don't know that I can claim that one."

"Hey," she said, nudging his thigh with her good foot. "Castle." Behind her she could hear Logan and Boyd working together at the kitchen table, their little makeshift lab as they debated the results of the bloodwork. The whole pediatrician thing was up in the air too. "Castle. Both of us, we didn't know any better. Okay? How could we have known? We're doing the best we can."

She wasn't used to being the one with all the optimism. He gave her a swift smile but it looked more fragile than she liked.

Castle had given James two bottles within the last two hours, and the boy had at least stopped whimpering. God, he was so skinny. It wasn't right. How had she let herself be so blind?

"Kate," he sighed.

She pressed her lips together, sighed back at him. Apparently her optimism had a shelf life.

"You just said it," he said quietly. "We're doing the best we can. Now we know, and we'll do what has to be done to make it right. Keep both of you healthy."

He stressed it because he knew her, but she wasn't interested in sacrificing herself when she wanted in on this, their family. She didn't want to be sacrificed; she wanted to hold her son and know he was healthy and growing and that he'd have his mother and father right there with him. All of them together.

"Come down here," she told him. "Castle, crawl in with me."

He lifted an eyebrow but she slowly lifted her foot from his lap.

"Put a pillow under it and get down here with me," she told him again. "James needs us both."

Castle let out a shaky sigh and gently eased one of the pillows under her foot, shifted back between her body and the couch, one of his arms around her neck. She carefully moved against him, letting James be cradled between their chests, and the baby immediately got quiet.

"See?" she whispered to Castle. "Takes both of us."

Castle lifted a hand and softly touched James's ear, stroked the baby's vulnerable neck. James watched him, eyes intent and so clear-grey, so startlingly innocent. His little mouth opened and a wide yawn cracked his face, his eyes falling shut.

"Sleep, baby," Kate whispered.

At the same time, she and Castle leaned in over the baby to kiss his sweet face, and their heads bumped, laughter spilling out of them. She chuckled and winced at Castle and he cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb lightly over her forehead.

She felt James's little body melt against her, like the very last of his unsettled tension - the bad vibes he'd picked up on tonight - had finally disappeared.

And then Castle leaned in and kissed her instead, his lips so soft and delicate, so wistful.

Kate shifted slowly and laid her head against his chest, closing her own eyes so she could listen to the beat of Castle's heart and feel the soft breath of their baby between them.


Probably wasn't safe to let James stay in the crook of Kate's arm when she was asleep, so Castle gathered the baby against him, moving slowly to keep from waking his son.

Kate slept through it, which was good, or maybe bad, depending. He wasn't sure. Her foot looked better, though that could be from the pills Boyd had brought with him which she had ingested nearly three hours ago.

Castle cupped the back of James's skull and shifted the boy to his shoulder; he was a warm and heavy weight against him, and Castle realized just how chilled the baby had been lately, how his little fingers and his cheeks had been cool to the touch. Wondered if it was the same kind of reaction he himself had when his fingers got numb.

He carried the baby into the kitchen and walked right into Boyd's makeshift lab.

"Hello, there, Agent Castle, we-"

Castle lifted a hand from the back of the baby's head and gestured to the boy. Boyd immediately hunched his shoulders and lowered his voice, wincing at Castle.

"Sorry, sorry-"

"It's okay. Just - what's up with Kate? Any ideas?"

"Working theory is that in these first few - ah, months or so? We're letting the timeline be fluid here. Months or even the first five years, while his brain is still developing, Echo will need-"

Boyd flushed and his eyes cut to the baby, as if he'd made some gross social faux pas.

"Hey," Castle chuckled, keeping his voice low so that he wouldn't wake James. "Don't worry. Echo's fine. You heard me earlier - we still call him our jungle parasite, so at least Echo won't put him in therapy."

"Ah, yes."

"And anyway, it keeps the lab stuff separate from - well, life. Doesn't it?"

Boyd blinked, as if the concept of life being separate from lab was impossible. And hadn't Boyd said maybe for the next five years?Castle made up his mind and shifted the baby towards the doctor.

"Here. Hold him. Maybe life and lab should come together."

It'd been his life, once upon a time, and maybe that was his problem with this. He'd been forced to believe that the experiment was all that existed, that the experiment was all he could ever have, all he was built for.

And then Kate. Kate had blown open his whole life. Kate was life.

But he was finding out - that didn't mean that the experiment was over.

It went on, right here, like this. And what was wrong with it? If they needed it to augment their life, enhance their life, what was wrong with that? James needed what he needed, and Castle wouldn't begrudge him of it.

"You gonna hold him?" Castle asked Boyd. He was still holding James towards the man, and now the baby was starting to squirm into wakefulness, missing the close contact and the sound of a heartbeat.

Boyd finally put the computer tablet back on the kitchen table and offered his hands, palms up, his eyes apprehensive. Castle had to do the transition, positioning Boyd's arms and then laying the baby in them.

"What do I do?" Boyd whispered.

Logan was watching them from the kitchen counter near the fridge; he was physically making the pills, combining things in a mortar and crushing them to fine powder with the pestle.

"What am I supposed to do?" Boyd said again.

Castle and Logan's eyes met and Castle tried not to laugh. But it was funny. "You just - hold him. Bring him up against your chest. He likes the warmth. The closeness."

"Oh." Boyd brought the boy in and glanced to Logan as if to say, look I'm doing it. Logan saluted him with the pestle and turned back to work, but Castle moved his direction, abandoning Boyd to the baby.

Or maybe abandoning James to Boyd.

At the counter, Castle turned his back on Boyd, certain it was better not to see whatever awkward and bewildered event was taking place behind him, and Logan laughed at him.

"He's doing okay, but yeah, newby parent. You don't want to watch."

Castle resisted the urge to look over his shoulder. Just because the boy was out of his hands didn't mean that he wasn't being taken care of. "What's the plan, Logan?"

"We're making her new pills. They're going to have to be exactly like what we gave her before, and after a week, we'll test Echo and see if it's working."

"A week? What about Kate?"

"Daily blood tests until it looks like things have settled."

Castle nodded, his heart easing finally. There was a plan in place; they were going to do something about it, about the baby and the nutrients that they both needed.

"How's her bloodwork?" Castle asked.

"Not so hot," Logan winced. "She was fine at the last appointment, the two week. Well, okay, we didn't do a bone density scan. That would have told us. And Dennison said she was fine at the four week."

"Bone density scan would have told you that she was malnourished?"

Logan sighed, put the pestle down. "Yeah. We should have - I just didn't think it through. That's on me, Rick. I-"

"Joint effort," Castle muttered. "This one."

"Her daily blood test - full panel - will help us monitor both of them, so we don't have to keep sticking the kid."

"Echo," Castle smiled. And he looked over his shoulder towards his son and saw Boyd holding him so carefully, so carefully, and sitting down at the kitchen table with him, away from the equipment.

"We'll get this under control, Castle, I promise."

"Feels like it's mostly there," Castle answered, turning back to Logan. "Thank you. For coming out here."

"Mary called," Logan told him. "Dennison said that she'll meet us at the lab in the city this weekend. I told her we had this covered, but if you want Kate to see her sooner-"

"I'll call her," Castle said. Yeah, they might have it handled, but he wanted her doctor in on this one. Definitely. "Thanks, Logan."

"Yeah. Now go get your kid before Boyd's arms give out. So unnatural."

Castle laughed and glanced back again, saw that Boyd was holding James so stiffly that the baby had woken up, apparently sensing that he was in a precarious position.

"Yeah, better go relieve him."