Lord of My Dreams

Chapter 7: Searching

"I'm sorry to tell you that that particular product has already been sold." The man did not sound particularly sorry.

"What?" He let his voice be low and soft, designed to intimidate by what it did not contain.

"Reserved." The shopkeeper did not sound particularly intimidated. "Promised to a certain young lady who left…oh, less than an hour ago."

"Really? And you don't think that this…lady could be dissuaded?"

"She did not seem the type."

Sesshoumaru swallowed an annoyed sigh. The black market was convenient in its simplicity to navigate, because the people who functioned in the black market rarely had incentives other than money. Problems emerged with the extremely rare individual who had other incentives. Sesshoumaru, however, did not trust this shopkeeper's judgment of the alleged lady's character.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" Phrased as a light question, a threat in disguise.

"Customer confidentiality prevents me from doing so." A light smile—either an idiot or a force to be reckoned with.

"I have money."

"Very well. How about this valuable manuscript on Ayurvedic medicine?" Either this man had a reason for wanting Sesshoumaru annoyed, or the woman had offered a significant amount.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes. "I require only the aforementioned text, and I am willing to pay several times its value to obtain it.

"It is promised to the young lady."

Not good enough, then. "How much did she offer? I will triple that."

"Ah, but it is not about the money."

Sesshoumaru thought fast under the glare that he leveled on the shopkeeper. If not money, what was the shopkeeper looking for? Perhaps the woman was a…personal friend. But no matter—Sesshoumaru would find out what it was and counter it.

"I'll be back," he informed the man.

The man remained expressionless as Sesshoumaru turned his heel and walked out of the shop, thinking furiously of ways to discover the identity of the woman. If the shopkeeper could not be dissuaded, perhaps the woman would.

The dreams had begun two nights after the night that Rin had not come home. Maybe they would have begun the night she hadn't come home, except for the fact that Sesshoumaru hadn't been able to sleep that night, or the next. He had waited for Rin to return that first night, and then the following morning had set out on a search. He spent two days straight looking for her, and finally passed out on the couch in the early hours of the morning on the third day that she had been missing.

He could still remember the dream vividly, and it had shaken him more than he cared to admit.

But Rin had been alright all along. She had found a family, been adopted.

Sesshoumaru had not been informed of this until a week after Rin had first gone missing, and then only by chance. After a week of barely eating or sleeping, doing nothing but scouring the city for Rin, Jaken had finally forced Sesshoumaru to go home just once. Sesshoumaru would have disagreed, but Jaken threatened to tell his father of Sesshoumaru's recent living habits.

Faced with the threat of being dragged back to his father's home permanently, Sesshoumaru had allowed the rare visit to his family.

It just so happened that they already had a visitor—Inuyasha's girlfriend and her family. It also just so happened that Inuyasha's girlfriend's family was adopting another daughter.

Sesshoumaru had experienced a wide range of emotions when he had walked by the living room and spotted Rin being hugged by his father's wife. Pain, that Rin had chosen to leave him. Anger, that she had not so much as mentioned her intentions to him. Fury, that of all people, she had chosen the family of his damned half-brother's girlfriend. Frustration, that he could not understand how these events could have possibly played out. And underlying it all was an excruciating relief that threatened to overwhelm him with the knowledge that Rin was safe and well.

He would have turned his heel and left. But Rin turned to look at him, and so Sesshoumaru leveled one of his sternest looks on her. He had wanted to glare—but he had never glared at Rin, and found that he could not start now. Rin had flinched and looked so sorry and apologetic that Sesshoumaru had melted.

Sesshoumaru was used to being in charge of situations. So, knowing nothing, he was hardly going to charge into the room and admit that he had no idea what was going on. He only lifted his eyes from hers to cast a pointed glance down the hallway, then meet her eyes again before he took a few steps so that he was no longer visible from the doorway. Rin seemed to understand, for he heard her mutter an excuse about the bathroom and quickly excuse herself from he room.

She stopped when she turned into the hallway and found Sesshoumaru standing not two steps in front of her.

Sesshoumaru heard his father's comment—"Are you sure we should let her go alone? I mean, we don't even really-" and then Inuyasha's mother quickly hushed her husband. Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth and felt the last of his attachment to his family crumble to dust.

He looked at Rin, but she was smiling as always, and more brightly than she had even hinted at in that room with his family. Sesshoumaru briefly wondered what could make her so eager to leave him if she smiled this way only for him, and then pushed the thought away. Of course she smiled this way to other people too—she was only nervous around new groups of people.

The thought brought to mind his anger again, and he took her by the arm and dragged her down the hall to the library.

A glance around told him that they were alone. So he closed the door and for the first time, leveled a cold glare on Rin.

"You wish to be adopted."

"Well, I thought it would be for the best-"

"The best- You do not even mention a word to Jaken or myself, and step up and leave—what are you attempting? You practically forced Jaken to have a heart attack!"

Rin looked taken aback, and apologetic. "I'm sorry—but Sess, I thought… You know, if I'm not there then you could go to Harvard."

She knew that he had been accepted to Harvard. Sesshoumaru felt the anger leave him, and only a sort of exhaustion was left in its wake. This was a skillful manipulation—she was taking what she wanted while insisting that it was best for him. Well, if that was what she wanted, then Sesshoumaru would not object.

"Very well. I will go abroad to college." Rin cast her eyes down, and Sesshoumaru wished that she would gloat. "You will live with them—but you do not want to mention that you were with me. Or that you knew me." They already had doubts about Rin's character. Sesshoumaru's involvement in the situation would only make it worse.

Rin averted her eyes. "I told them that I lived by scraping by where I could. That my tuition was paid by someone whom I didn't know, who happened to learn of my situation and thought I should go to school."

She had already cut him out of her life. The exhaustion prickled in Sesshoumaru's throat and lungs, so he swallowed. "Very well. Be happy." And he turned and left her, furious with himself that he could not even bring himself to say one unkind word to her despite her abandonment.

It was out of spite that Sesshoumaru went to Oxford rather than Harvard. He told no one where he was going, and merely packed and left one day. It was not long before his father presumably figured out where he was, for he received regular birthday cards. He threw these away without a second glance, and threw himself into his studies. Sesshoumaru was a favorite of many professors, and somehow, by the time he graduated four years later, his business degree had also become a history degree.

Sesshoumaru found a law firm in London where he did an internship for the next year, with the promise that he would be offered an official position when the year was up. At the end of the year, he was offered an even better position at a prestigious law firm in Tokyo. Not giving it a second thought, Sesshoumaru accepted the better offer.

It wasn't until he had signed the papers that it suddenly occurred to him that he was close to Rin—she could be around any corner, anywhere in the city. Not a day went by that he didn't think of her, but over the years she had become a beautiful memory that haunted him but would never enter his life again. Yet after reaching Tokyo, he found himself peering around every corner, scouring faces in every crowd to find her; and so it was that Sesshoumaru had made the decision to intentionally seek her out, under the guise of visiting his family.

But Rin was happy, energetic and beautiful, and somehow this made Sesshoumaru miserable. There was nothing in her of despair, loneliness or regret—and it wasn't until he saw their absence that he realized how much he had been counting on them.

Counting on the fact that she missed him enough to dream about him every night as he did of her.

For after that first dream, every dream that he dreamed was of her. They were in different times and they were different people, but Sesshoumaru never once doubted that the girl in his dreams was Rin.

It should have disturbed him deeply the morning in his second month at Oxford when he awoke in a sweat and found himself wanting Rin in a way that was anything but platonic. It felt only right, and he drank dangerous amounts of coffee for a week after that in a desperate attempt not to dream of her because she was barely thirteen (it didn't matter that she had been older in the dream) and he was not a pedophile, damn it!

It would have been nice if the feelings had been mutual. But he supposed that there was no chance of that the moment that she had chosen to leave.

Instead, he took note of the fact that as of late, his previously random dreams seemed to be focusing on one set of people in one single time period. He had used cues that he remembered from these oddly vivid dreams to narrow the time period down to the Sengoku Era. So he had begun researching the time period, and found himself drawn more and more to mentions of demons during these times.

Unfortunately, there only seemed to be one surviving manuscript of such a writing—Demon Encyclopedia—and this had been reserved by some "young lady" not an hour before. So it was that Sesshoumaru found himself standing patiently in an alley across from the small pawnshop, waiting for this mysterious woman to arrive and claim the book.

Sesshoumaru briefly considered calling Jaken and leaving the job to him, but concluded that this was a job he preferred to do alone.


He sat in his carriage, looking almost absently out the window. He knew that there was a chance that she (who?) would be waiting; he would not allow his carriage to pass her standing there in the cold. The snow was thick, and cold like this night's could be fatal to those like her, who were generally clothed only in thin rags.

Indeed, some way ahead down the road he could see a familiar brown figure standing, trembling, at the side of the road as though waiting for something—someone. As they came up to the figure and he confirmed that it was, indeed, she, he gave a sharp tap on the carriage roof to signal the coachman to stop. When it jerked to a halt, he opened the door and stepped out to the girl without bothering to wait for the footman. He wrapped his arms around her thin, frail, shivering form, hoping to warm her at least a little.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. She looked down in shame. "Were you thrown out again?" He saw her cheeks heat up despite the cold—he had hit the nail right on the head. "Then come."

She looked up at him, delight illuminating her face. He gave a small, almost imperceptible, smile and reached out to help her into the carriage.

"Wait a second, you!"

He turned around to see a man dressed in rags (though in considerably better condition than the girl's) running towards him. The man froze for a moment upon seeing his face, and he felt a surge of satisfaction that this man knew exactly who he was.

"You- Your Majesty!" the man exclaimed in surprise. "I- I apologize. I di- didn't mean to offend you, I- I am most sorry for wh- what I-"

"Your apology is accepted," he said calmly. The girl had frozen beside him, and he was eager to leave. He squeezed her hand, and noted the faint relaxing of her tense muscles. But he also noted that most of the tension was still there. Obviously the man was someone that she did not want to see.

Instantly, an uncharacteristic wave of anger came over him. The girl that he knew feared nothing—so why should she fear this peasant?

He thought he knew the answer. She had new bruises on her body everyday, and he had met her, after all, because she had come begging to the palace kitchens with barely enough strength to stand for lack of food.

He shoved down the anger and gently urged her into the carriage, noting how gratefully and eagerly she obliged.

"Henceforth, she will be in my care," he stated coldly to the man.

"Wh- excuse me?" the man exclaimed in surprise. "But- but Your Majesty!"

"Yes?"

"You…you can't do that! I paid a fortune for her!"

He stared at the man. The anger that welled up in his chest was twice as violent than before.

"Slavery is illegal in my kingdom," he stated in a voice frosty with hate. Then he turned to his coachman and footman. "Throw him in the dungeons."

And then he turned his back on the piece of vermin and entered the carriage. When he saw her curled up in a ball on the seat, his hate for the man amplified just as his love for her almost overwhelmed him.

Sitting beside her, he pulled her into his lap and held her to him. Her hands fisted in his robe desperately—something she had never done before. The heart that he had not realized existed until only recently was filled with an emotion that he could not recognize as he buried his face in her hair and rocked her comfortingly.

They did not speak or move, even as the carriage began to move. He stroked her hair, praying to a God he scarcely believed in to help her.

He almost collapsed with relief when her trembles calmed and she reached back to comb her fingers through his hair—a gesture she always made when he held her. It comforted them both at once, though neither had ever admitted it to be so.

The King of Wales dropped a kiss to his love's head, wondering how she would react if he told her that he wished to make her his Queen.


Sesshoumaru blinked and opened his eyes. He quickly forced his consciousness in to alertness, furious with himself for having allowed such a lapse.

He looked towards the shop to see someone coming out.

The first thing he noticed was that she was Rin.

The second thing he noticed was that she was holding the Demon Encyclopedia.

Ire was too weak a word to describe Sesshoumaru's emotions in that moment. He stopped out of the alley and directly into Rin's path.

"Rin," he said.

Rin looked up at him, eyes wide. She hugged the book to her chest.

Sesshoumaru was still caught up in the soft affection that the dreams forced him to feel for Rin, so he forced the anger not to dissipate, leveling a glare on her and growling in his lowerst, most intimidating tone.

"What are you doing, and why do you have that book?"

Sesshoumaru had never taken his intimidating persona with Rin, so he expected her to back away, to cower in fear. Instead, something seemed to snap—he could almost hear the sharp consonant of a rubber band giving in after having been stretched too far—and she glared right back.

"What business is it of yours?"

"That is none of your business."

"And to think that you used to lecture me about eloquence."

Sesshoumaru was proud that he did not blink, because he had not expected her to deal sharp replies. "Clearly I should not have wasted my time."

Something flashed in Rin's eyes. "Oh, so now you come to this conclusion. If only you'd realized that a few years earlier. What do you want?"

"That book that you're holding."

"No."

They glared at each other.

"I could tell your father that you've been frequenting illegal shops." Now, that was not very smart, Sesshoumaru noted with a pang of something like disappointment.

"I could tell your sister the same. Seeing as how you live with your sister and I have no contact with my father, I believe that you would be more inconvenienced than I."

Rin bit her lip, but did not drop her glare. No one else had been so fearless before him, and Sesshoumaru had not realized how much he truly missed her until now.

"Whatever—I paid for this. You're not getting it."

Sesshoumaru would not lower himself to the same level of argument by rolling his eyes. "Wonderful. I hope you don't lock your windows at night."

Rin blinked. "Why would you-" Comprehension dawned, and a look of alarm of unwarranted caliber made its way across her face. "You wouldn't."

Probably not, but he leveled his look at her.

"You would," she groaned, eyes wide in horror. "What, you're into organized crime now?"

Sesshoumaru was coming closer and closer to irrational laughter, and it was unacceptable that this break out in front of Rin. "Only you would think that sneaking into one teenager's room to steal one book was an act of organized crime."

He turned and began to walk away gracefully.

"What, that's it? You're leaving?" Rin sounded confused, but Sesshoumaru didn't dare turn around for fear that he would smile.

"Good night, Rin."

He didn't stop until he turned a corner. Then he leaned against a wall and felt the first smile to creep across his face in five years.

Lord help him, but he was hopelessly in love with a teenager who thought nothing of him.