Many thanks are due to those that have put this story in their favorites, and alerts, but I'd like some reviews. I want to know specifically what you like about the story so far.

Also, I'd like to know what you, the reader, would like to see in the future chapters of "Can't Spell Slaughter Without Laughter". Please, and Thanks. =]


It had been a few hours since she and Evelyn went exploring in their new home. They found many different rooms, filled with all sorts of junk. They found a small exercise room, an office, a room that was empty but had a suspicious red stain on the floor, another room that was empty, aside from a dusty mirror in the corner, a kitchen and dining room, a huge living room, a few bathrooms, and several bedrooms. Some of the bedrooms were grubby and dusty from barely being used. Killjoy looked into Evelyn's room, and saw that it was made for her. This was a creepy thought, because that meant that The Joker knew she was coming as well. The walls were a dark pink, with a matching bed. There were light purple, fuzzy pillows thrown onto the bed as well. On the wall, was a large mirror, and next to that, a walk in closet, which was no doubt, empty.

Lastly, Killjoy wanted to peek into the Joker's room. She didn't see him in her room, where she had left him, and when she slowly opened the door to his room, she didn't see him in there either. "Fenari…I don't think this is a good idea…" Evelyn said from behind her smirking friend.

"Eve, Dear, how many times have I told you? It's Killjoy from now on." Killjoy said, slightly annoyed. "And, besides, weren't you the one that wanted to do what you shouldn't?" She said with a small smirk.

"Well….I suppose it'd be alright just to look…" Evelyn said with a small smile. They both stepped into the dark room. "Is there a light any where…?" She asked aloud, and then finding the light switch.

The room was clean. Completely clean. This came as a shock to both girls, as they figured it'd be as big a mess as their new boss. The walls were a deep purple, with a green border, and the floor was a shag carpet with a green and purple square pattern. The bed was made, and had all black on it. Black pillows, black blanket, and black sheets. On either side of the bed, there were two large nightstands. On the wall opposite the bed, there was a small mirror. Under that, a nightstand with what looked like to be a makeup kit. Killjoy saw this, tilted her head in curiosity, and walked over to it.

"Hmm…what do we have here…?" Killjoy mused. She picked up a small makeup sponge, which was full of white face paint, and looked it over. She cocked an eyebrow, forming an idea, and dipped it into the white. She looked into the mirror, and painted her face white. She held her hair up on the right side for a moment, so the white could dry. Once that was done, she picked up a piece of black charcoal and smeared that into thick eyeliner.

Evelyn, meanwhile, looked through the nightstands. When she opened the first drawer, she jumped slightly. She had never seen so many knives before. She picked one up, mesmerized by how shiny the blade was. Upon impulse, she touched the tip with her index finger gently. By doing this, she received a small cut on her finger tip. "Damnit." She made a face at the blade, and put her finger in her mouth. She placed the knife back into the drawer, and looked through the others. There were more knives. "…Someone has an obsession…" She thought aloud. "Hey, Fen- Killjoy. Look at all of…What are you doing?!" Evelyn said as she turned to her friend. Killjoy was finishing experimenting, and then she turned to Evelyn.

After she had applied the eyeliner, she took a red face paint crayon, and drew a small heart above her left eye, on her right side, and then underneath her eye, at the corner, she drew a small diamond. Then, using a black crayon, she drew a club next to the heart, and a spade next to the diamond. She had used the Joker's red lipstick to paint the right side of her top lip, and the left side of her bottom lip. Then she used black for the remaining two sides. She looked sort of like a Court Jester. "What, you don't like it?" She pouted. Her friend's face slowly formed a smile.

"No…It…It looks hot! My turn!" Evelyn eagerly sat down on the bed. Killjoy smiled, and brought the nightstand over to the bed.


About ten minutes had passed, and Killjoy looked Evelyn over. "Hold on…It needs something…Did you bring your studio kit?" She asked her friend.

"Yes…But why-" Evelyn started. But Killjoy sped from the room, only to return moments later with two small objects.

"Close your eyes." Came Killjoys demand. Then, a moment later, "Now, open them." As Evelyn looked in the mirror, she smiled. Killjoy sat up behind Evelyn, and braided her hair into a single, long, braid so that her hair was out of her face.

Killjoy had taken the black crayon, and dotted Evelyn's freckles, giving her a slightly innocent look. Then, she used the charcoal to line Evelyn's eyes, and make a little eye shadow. The two objects that Killjoy had added were long false eyelashes. They gave Evelyn an elegant, unique look. Her lips had already been coated with pink lipstick, so it made it even better. "Now…What do we call you…?" Killjoy asked, taking her friend's shoulders. They were looking at their own reflections.

"How about…Miss-E."

"I like it." Killjoy said. They smirked at their reflections. "Now…What to wear…" Killjoy wondered aloud.

"I know! We could steal some stuff from my old studio!"

"See, now you're thinking in the right mindset."


An hour had passed and the girls had finally returned. It was about midnight, and the Joker was still nowhere to be seen. The girls went into their respective rooms to change. Evelyn, now Miss-E, came into the hall first. She was wearing a pink and black Lolita halter dress. The bell sleeves fell off her shoulder, and ended at her second knuckle. The lace on it was black, and the dress stopped at mid thigh, where black tights covered her long dancer's legs, and then her feet were donned in pink ballet flats. The ties came up to her knee. She pulled her braid so it fell over her right shoulder.

Then, Killjoy came out. She was wearing a black leather corset that fell just above her belly button. It had red laces, and a small red shirt underneath, that was barely visible. The only indications that it was there, were the two red puff sleeves that fell off her shoulder. It also showed off the top of her scar. She also wore black fishnet arm socks that fell just below the sleeves.

On her neck, she wore a black choker with a small diamond charm. She also wore a black and red skirt, shaped like a jester collar. The top skirt was black, and underneath, filling the gaps, was the red skirt. On her legs were black and red striped leggings, and then knee high boots with red laces. She spun in place, and the skirt flew up slightly. "Well?" She asked with a smile.

"We look amazing." Miss-E said.

"Honey…I'm hoomee…" Came a distant greeting. Miss-E smirked at Killjoy.

"Ready?" She asked.

"As always." Killjoy responded. The pair traveled arm-in-arm down the steps to the hall where the Joker was setting his stuff down.

"I hope you two didn't destroy anything while I wasn't…" He turned and looked at the girls, causing him to trail off. His tongue flipped from his mouth as he decided what to make of the pair. "Well…Don't you two look…amazing." He came forward and put his hands on the girls' shoulders.

"Have you met my friend, Miss-E?" Killjoy introduced, tilting her head to her friend.

"So nice to meet you, my dear…Now…" The Joker acknowledged. He turned them around, now his arms around them. "Now that you both…have…dressed for the, ah, part, I have a little mission for you both…"

"What kind of mission?" Miss-E asked eagerly. The Joker shot her a death glare, as she didn't let him finish his thought. Her eyes widened and she fell silent.

"It's a special mission, mind you. I need you both to assist my men to make a…withdrawal for me from the Bank down on 56th street." Killjoy's eyes widened as she realized something.

"That's…That's the mob's bank. You really want to steal from them?" She asked quickly. Not only was that a heavily guarded bank…but that was also the bank her family used. They had about 2 million dollars lying in an underground vault there. And she realized that the Joker knew this when she looked at him.

"Yes. That's why I need you two. You two would be the…" He looked at Miss-E, trying to find the right word. When he didn't, he looked Killjoy up and down the same way. He found the word. "Distraction that my men would need to get into the vaults. Then, they will take the money and you two will help get them back out."

"But…My family works for you..How do you expect them to go along with this?!" Killjoy said, stepping back. The Joker's arm fell from her shoulder, and he stepped toward her. His other arm fell from Miss-E's shoulder. She stepped back, out of the line of fire.

"You just answered your own question. They work for me. And, if they don't want to be…ah…what's the word you people use…whacked…they'll do as they're told." Killjoy's eyes narrowed, and her fists clenched. After a moment, she calmed herself. Just go along with it…You just got on his good side. Fenari told Killjoy. For now, I will. Killjoy returned.

"Fine. What do you need us," She motioned toward herself then Miss-E, "to do?"

"That's my girl." The Joker said slowly, a smirk forming on his face.


The bank on 56th street was pretty calm the next morning. There were rich people waiting on line, the women donned in their fur coats, and the men in their tailored suits. There was a slight feeling of arrogance in the air. The routine of those there that morning was broken as the doors burst open. Miss-E came in first, and she made one hell of an entrance. She came in doing several front walkovers, as well as a few flips until she came into the center of the room. She raised her arms above her, as if she had just finished a routine, and she smiled at all of the people. "Good morning everyone!" She greeted. "I hope none of you mind, but we need to make a withdrawal." She said innocently.

The people realized what was going to happen, and they turned to rush out through the back entrance. The ceiling was low here, so there were several beams. No one had noticed Killjoy perched on one of them, so when she flipped down, looking at one man upside down, he jumped, causing everyone else to. She flipped off the beam, and blocked the door. She walked forward slowly, forcing the crowd into the middle of the room. The man in front of her still looked scared. Killjoy's smirk grew. "Boo." She said to the man. He jumped again, pushing himself back into the crowd. She let out a dark laugh. "Alright, I know many of you have guns. I want all hands above your heads." When no one did, she added darkly, "Now."

"What are you going to do if we don't?" A man said. Killjoy raised an eyebrow.

"Me? I'm not going to do anything….But they will…." She opened her arms, and her uncles and cousins ushered in wearing clown masks, and holding small machine guns. "Now will you put your hands above your heads?" She asked. Immediately, dozens of hands flew into the air. "Very good." She clapped lightly. "Now, on the floor. Slowly. All of you." Bodies slowly laid down on the tiled floor, and Miss-E came into view on the other side. "Boys, I take it you know what to do from here?" Her Uncle Tony nodded. "Get to it, then." When they were gone, she sighed. "Now…What should we do with you…" She said to the faces staring up at her. She dramatically walked over to Miss-E.

"Can we toy with them? Please?" Miss-E asked.

"I don't think they want to play, Miss-E…" Killjoy pouted. The man Killjoy had scared tried to get up quickly and run. "But I think he does." She said. She ran over to him, blocking his way. "Going somewhere? I don't think so…" She pulled out her very own knife, and held it to his throat. To Miss-E, Killjoy began to look just like The Joker. This scared her slightly, but also made her smile. It showed that she was letting go, and trying new things.

"You are a very brave person…" She said darkly to the man. "What's your name?"

"…P-Peter." He stuttered.

"Peter. You know…Some people confuse bravery with stupidity…Which do you possess?" She asked him.

"I…I, um…I'd like to think bravery…"

"Wrong answer. Tell me something else, Peter….Are you a religious man?" As she spoke, her eyes narrowed, and widened, giving her a crazed look.

"Y-Yes…" Peter responded.

"Oh, good. Then maybe you can help me with a problem I'm having trouble solving…People of the world…Religious people….They all want to get into Heaven. That divine utopia. But…No one is willing to die to get there…Why is that?" She asked.

"I, um…I'm not sure…"

"Exactly. Tell me, Peter. Do you want to get into Heaven?"

"Yes…." He said, hoping things weren't going to end the way he thought.

"But…Are you willing to die?" She watched him carefully. He didn't respond. "Well, Peter?"

"….No…No, I'm not!" He cried. Killjoy flashed her eyebrows, satisfied.

"I didn't think so." She threw him into the wall next to her. Peter slid down, and sat against it, breathing heavily. "Such a shame…" Killjoy muttered. Her back was to Peter, and she went to take a step away. She reconsidered, and the blade she held left her hand quickly. There were loud gasps and screams when the sickening sound of metal hitting bone was heard. "Anyone else want to answer my question?" Her words were met with silence. "I thought not." What did you do?!? Fenari screamed at her other half. He didn't do anything to you!!!! He was just trying to get out…To get home to his family….Oh my God…Fenari cried in her head. I did what I needed to. He would have gone and called for help. Then we'd both be dead.

The men of Killjoy's family came out arms full of duffel bags. Miss-E smiled, and broke the silence. "Well, we hope you all have a great day, and thank you for entrusting your savings with Gotham Center Bank." Miss-E spun on her heel, and she walkovered her way out the front door. Killjoy wandered over to wear Peter sat, his head stuck to the wall via her blade. She pulled her knife out, and wiped his blood on his suit jacket. She looked at Peter, whose eyes were open. Upon impulse, she shut them.

As she was walking out, she let a smile form on her face. Everyone else had left through the front door. But Killjoy left the way she came in.

Out of nowhere, a white cloth covered her mouth. Killjoy was overwhelmed by chloroform. She struggled as much as she could, but weak, and soon met blissful darkness.


It felt like days had gone by, but she awoke because of a very bright light hit her face. She felt her makeup baking and starting to melt. After a minute of regaining her focus, she heard a voice greet her. "Well, good morning, Sleeping Beauty…"

Hmmm…I wonder whom her abductor is…? Message me, or leave a review with who you think it is. And don't forget, I want to know what you all want to see happen in the future. I may not use all of the ideas, but I still want to know. =]

XOXO ~Killjoy