The group of four and group of two met up at the venue for dinner. Brian insisted that he and Meredith go over separately because he wanted some alone time to be with her on their second date. Meredith considered herself the luckiest girl she'd ever known.
Jaime and Lauren were lost in girl talk as they walked to the venue. They both looked dashing as ever: each clad in a summer dress with Jaime's blonde hair in relaxed curls resembling Marilyn Monroe and Lauren's hair perfectly straight and pinned half back.
Their dates trailed behind them, talking about the most recent episode of Lost. They were wearing dressy pants and button up shirts. As true gentlemen, both Joe and Joey held the double doors open for the girls as they entered the beautifully decorated building. It was date night in Ann Arbor.
Joey maneuvered through the busy lobby to confirm their reservation with the hostess while Jaime tried to see if she could find Meredith and Brian. Joe took advantage of the alone time and pulled Lauren close to him. She rested her head on his chest as they wrapped their arms around each other. Joe softly placed his lips to the top of her head and then whispered, "You look absolutely stunning tonight. Did I mention that?" He squeezed her lovingly as the world seemed to stop around them. "Mmmm, I don't think I've heard stunning yet. You mentioned lovely and beautiful, but this is the first 'stunning' of the night. And thank you" she said teasingly as she tilted her head up for a kiss. He gladly obliged.
They locked eyes for a minute and Joe tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He smiled at her; he couldn't stop thinking how lucky he was that he could just kiss her whenever he wanted. She was thinking the same thing. "You are welcome my darling. Thank you for accompanying me this evening. It's an honor" he said sincerely as he grabbed her hand and led her to met up with their friends. They both felt electricity.
When they found the group Lauren gave Meredith a warm hug and a hello to Brian. Soon the hostess was showing them to their table for six. The men pulled out the seats for their dates before taking their own. They were seated slightly to the right of the stage where the comedy acts would perform. During dinner the U of M jazz band was softly humming on stage as the guests ate. It was a pleasant evening, and everyone chatted humorously as they enjoyed their meal.
As dessert was being served, Brian took his leave to head backstage and get ready for his act. Meredith stood up and gave him a peck on the lips to wish him luck. He walked backstage with a smile on his face, ready to face anything.
The announcer for the night came on stage with a mic and stand. He opened up the show for the evening "Welcome everyone to comedy night! We've got some fantastic acts lined up straight from the University of Michigan's best and brightest improv students! But first, we've got a musical opening act that is sure to blow you off your feet. Also a student graduating next weekend, please give it up for Charlene Kaye!
Surprised to be seeing their friend, the group cheered rowdily as Charlene took the stage with her guitar. "I didn't know she was performing tonight, did you guys?" Jaime asked the group. Everyone shook their heads no and excitedly watched as Charlene hooked her guitar up to the amp and adjusted the microphone.
"How are you guys doin' tonight?!" Charlene enthusiastically asked as the crowd roared with approval. "Great! I'm gonna play a few of my original songs tonight, I hope you enjoy…" And with that Charlene reeved up her guitar and went to town.
After a few numbers Charlene grabbed the mic stand and moved it a few steps to the left. "Thank you guys! I have one more song, and I'd like to call out my friend Darren Criss to sing with me." The room applauded loudly as Darren made his way with a mic and stand on stage. He set them down before walking over to hug Charlene.
Lauren and Joe exchanged shocked looks. Joey cheered wildly for his friend and Meredith and Jaime gave Lauren concerned glances. Jaime leaned over the table and whispered to Lauren "You okay? You want to get out of here till the stand up starts?" Meredith listened in and waited for Lauren's reply. She looked at Joe, who was lost in his own world giving Darren a death glare, and then turned back to them. "Nah, it'll be alright. I don't want to stop supporting Darren. I want things to be as normal as possible. And in a normal situation we'd all be ecstatic that he's playing. So, I guess let's do that." Meredith and Jaime smiled reassuringly at Lauren. They sat back and faced Darren on the stage. Jaime and Lauren clapped for Darren and Meredith shouted out an encouraging "Woooo!" towards the stage.
Lauren tried to get comfortable in her seat and ended up curling up against Joe, who put his arm tightly around her. They stared up at the stage at the one and only man they both knew could put their relationship in jeopardy. Joe couldn't stop thinking about how he would do anything to make sure Darren doesn't steal Lauren from him. Lauren was focused on only seeing Darren as her playful friend. "Don't get caught up in his voice" she thought to herself as he thanked the crowd for their support.
Charlene and Darren sang "Skin and Bones" for the crowd before Charlene exited the stage. When Darren stayed on stage Lauren reacted uncomfortably and Joe rubbed her arm with his hand that was around her and pulled her even closer.
Darren approached the mic "I only have time for one song for you guys, so I wanted to try out this new one I've been working on. I just wrote it… so forgive me if I fumble a little with the words. But I think it should come pretty naturally; the feeling is fresh. It's not exactly the cheeriest tune, but it's pretty upbeat and I really want to try it out. And it's sort of a special occasion: I've got some friends in the house tonight." For the first time since he had taken the stage, Darren looked over at the group's table. None of them had even realized he knew they were there. " Darren spoke smoothly while looking directly at Lauren. "So for those of you who are tired of waiting… here it is."
Lauren immediately recognized the tune. At the cast party he hadn't sung any words but she remembered the sharpness and intensity of the rhythm. This was it. This was the song he promised to play her.
(*we interrupt this story for a brief message from the author: I do not own this song, I did not write it. Darren did. In real life and in this story. Just to be clear. The lyrics I'm using are from an actual live performance of this song: go to youtube then backslash "watch?v=2bs3EaWejDY". That's pretty much the way I picture he performs it in this story. So that's the link if you want to visualize or hear him perform it this way*)
Darren sang soulfully.
"I hate where I'm at… acting crazy like that. I know that I've been wrong. It's somethin I've been working on. And I don't know what to do. It's changin me it's killin you. I'd tear out my insides if I could…I would, but I don't know if it'd do me good. Oh I'm sorry friends, I'm sorry lover, to put us all in this mess. I know we still have each other, but I'm in distress. Cause every time that I feel like I've figured it out…oh I can't seem to figure it in. It's got nothing to do with me; it's not even you, you see. It's part of my chemistry. It's this jealousy."
Everyone at the table was in awe of his emotion. He wasn't looking at anyone; just at his guitar, the back wall, or with eyes closed. But even without his eye contact Lauren knew he was singing it directly to her. He was feeling it for her. She listened closely and, against her better judgment, let the words sink in.
"I'm in absolutely no position to be so needlessly unkind. When I'm the one writing this fiction… I make it real in my mind. Oh it drives me crazy in the morning. I'm like, who is this monster in the mirror? I try to get the steam to fog it out, but I still just can't get it clear. Oh, and I can't stand what I'm feeling. No. It's just like poison in my veins. I know that I'm speaking, but I don't know what I'm saying. Cause every time that I feel like the world just got lighter, it seems that my muscles give out. It's got nothing to do with me; it's not even you, you see. It's part of my chemistry. It's this jealousy. And I'm hearing your voice. Babe, you know it's your choice. Ah, maybe so. And I know it's no use, but it's the only excuse I know, no, no. Let me go."
He was getting so into it; he meant every word. It was almost as if he was making parts up on the spot as he felt the feelings. He was being passionate, angry, and sexy all at once. She listened closely and was consumed with his sultry voice.
"Mmm, let me go. Ha, let me go. Oh, let me go now, please… please. Now let's be for real for a second, alright, I…I feel just like a child, you know? Someone could be takin all my toys. So call me dumb, call me wild… call me wild. But, that's the thing with little boys. Oh, and I can't wash it out in the shower, or drink it off at the bar. This sugar's gone sour, and it's gone way too far. Oh, cause every time that I feel like I'm riding so high, feel on top of the world, the bitch just keeps tellin me 'no'. It's got nothing to do with me; it's not even you, you see. It's part of my chemistry. And oh Christ it's killing me. This demon is filling me. It's this jealousy. Oh, and I just can't believe in this jealousy, this jealousy for you. Oh this jealousy, this jealousy for you."
Darren finished the song and said a quick thank you before walking off stage. Right before he was behind the curtain he snuck a quick glance at Lauren. Of course she caught him, her eyes were glued to him waiting for just that opportunity. She felt a sick pang in her stomach. She released herself from Joe's grasp and excused herself. "I gotta go to the rest room" Lauren said confusedly as she stammered away from the table. When Joe started to get up to walk her out she stopped him. "It's okay, Joe, I'm good. You watch the show. I'll be right back." She gave him the most assuring smile she could muster then exited the room.
She just needed some air she decided and headed out one of the side exits of the venue. She stood alone in a small side street. There were a few parked cars and a faint yellow light coming from the flickering street lamp. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she leaned against the cool brick wall.
She replayed his performance in her head. 'How the hell did he get that written so quickly?' she thought to herself. She didn't even know he had those kinds of feelings until 8 days ago. He didn't know she'd choose Walker until 7 days ago either. So if that song was in progress at the cast party, what the heck was he so jealous of?
Lost in thought, Lauren was caught of guard when the backstage exit door opened about 10 feet down the building. She watched as Charlene and some of the jazz band members carried their instrument cases away from her towards the backside street facing the rear of the building and load them into their respective vehicles. Lauren thought about calling out and congratulating her friend Charlene, but right now she wanted to be alone and didn't want Charlene to come ask her what was wrong. So she watched as the band and singer drove off in the opposite direction and got back to her daydreaming.
The doors creaked open again as Darren struggled with two guitar cases. He finally got through the door and headed away from her to what Lauren now realized was his car. He didn't see her, but Lauren was already yelling before her head could tell her to stop. She suddenly felt anger. He wasn't supposed to be making her feel bad about her decision and she wasn't going to let him get away with it. "HEY. COME HERE." She yelled sternly down the alleyway. Confused, Darren turned and saw the small girl storming towards him. She looked just as angry as he did tired, but he couldn't help but notice how unbelievably outstanding she looked that night.
She nearly ran into him she was coming on so strong but halted to a stop inches from him. "What is your problem?! What the hell was that!" she yelled at him while searching his face. He was still shimmering with sweat from his set and she hadn't noticed how tired and puffy his eyes were until now. Frankly, he looked like he was going to pass out from exhaustion any second now.
He was not in the mood to deal with her yelling at him. "What, Lauren? It's a song. Sorta what I do, shouldn't be much of a surprise. And I have no problem. Weren't you listening? That song is an apology for being jealous asshole. It's about how I can't help it, how it controls me, but I want it to let me go. I'm trying. I realize I've been a dick this week, trust me, I know. I realize it… I just am still figuring things out."
Lauren was confused. She thought the line in the song "let me go" that he seemed to repeat like a billion times was aimed at her. That had upset her more than anything because she had said those exact words to him the night she disappointed him, and in the song he made that line sound like she was the one still holding on. But he wasn't talking about her, he was talking about the jealousy. He wanted the jealousy to let him go, not her. He was trying to get over her, just like she asked him to. Lauren felt bad for misunderstanding, but she still felt like arguing. "Well, how was that song already written last week?! We hadn't even admitted our feelings yet!"
Darren calmly responded, "It wasn't supposed to be those lyrics. I had the main melody figured out but it was just supposed to be a song called 'Chemistry' about how we go so well together. I was going to play it for you until you broke me. I told you it wasn't ready yet at the cast party. That wasn't true, I just wasn't ready yet. And I thought at dinner I'd finally have the courage and that the moment would be right, but then… yeah." His eyes grew darker and his tone went from calm to cutting. "This past week has been hell, Lauren. I've just been laying awake all night- I can't sleep. And the thought that I had even written a love song about you tore me to pieces and the bitterness I felt towards you and…him… made me sick. So I redid the lyrics. And it's not hard to complete a song that fast, Lauren. Especially when that feeling is all you think about and you've got to sit through hours of lonely solitude every night when everybody else is enjoying the pleasure of sleep. When I know you're wrapped up in his arms sleeping in his bed next door. It wasn't hard."
Lauren just stared at him. She felt the tears coming on and wanted to get out of there as soon as she could. She didn't want to think about or respond to what he just said so she sternly said the only thing she had left to say to him. "Give me my phone."
He almost looked amused. "That's right… your phone. You're very fast by the way; I've never seen someone run from an awkward situation quite as quickly as you. And I returned your top to Walker: you're welcome. I actually don't have your phone on me right now though, but thanks for assuming I'd never let it leave my sight."
She looked down into his hand and noticed what he was holding. Before he had the chance to pull away she excitedly yelled "Fine!" and grabbed his phone out of his hand. She took off back toward the entrance, turning around to yell out "I'll give back yours when you give back mine!"
With that, she disappeared behind the big metal doors. Darren stood there for a moment. He repeated her final words in his head. "I'll give back yours when you give back mine." As he slowly turned to walk to his car he couldn't help but think she was right. But not regarding their phones. He found that the statement held most true about their hearts.
Lauren quietly made her way back to the table. The adrenaline was still pumping after her attack on Darren, and even though it was a serious argument there was still that touch of fun between them when she ran away that made her want to laugh. She tucked his phone away in her purse so that no one would see it and snuggled her way back into Joe's arms.
He looked down to her with a bit of concern. "Everything all right?" She looked up at him with wide eyes; she knew any trace of her almost tears were washed away with the excitement stealing Darren's phone. "Fine" she said with a smile before giving him a kiss. They both turned and watched Brian take the stage for his stand up act. Meredith stood up and clapped for him while Jaime and Joey made as much encouraging noise as possible by cheering and clinging their silverware against their dishes.
Lauren leaned into Walker's chest and inattentively watched the performance. Her thoughts were stuck on her encounter with Darren, the song, and deciding what she was going to do with his phone. Or just with him, in general. Every so often she felt the vibration of Joe's laugh rumble through his body, causing her to hold him closer. But while she was there physically, her mind was with the boy who had written her a song.
