Chapter 9

House could hear someone calling his name, he didn't recognise the voice but could hear it all the same. He tried to open his eyes, but they were so heavy they just closed again. He felt somebody's hand on his arm, turned towards it and tried again to open his eyes, they did flutter open a little this time.

"Dr House, we need you to open your eyes for us" Came a stern voice

He moved his head towards the noise and tried again, they did open a bit longer this time.

"That's it Dr House keep them open, we need you to wake up" Came the voice again.

"hmm, I'm awake, leave me….sleep" He said through slurred words and blurry vision.

He felt coldness on his chest and then an oxygen mask was put on his face, which he tried to batt away. He opened his eyes again "Where am I" He said confused.

"In recovery" Stated the voice replacing the mask.

"Recovery?" He questioned but his eyes could no longer stay open, sleep took him under again.

The next time he woke up, he felt more awake and looked around him, he was in the ICU. He had the oxygen mask on, pulse ox, heart monitor, wtf! He turned his head to the other side and saw Stacy sitting in the chair. "Stace" He whispered taking the oxygen mask off again.

Her eyes were immediately open and she came to his side. She pushed the call button straight away. "Hey, you're back with us" She said quietly giving him a kiss on the cheek.

He was still rather groggy but awake enough to know something was wrong. "What happened, why am I in here?" He slurred.

"Shh, Dr Cuddy will be here in a minute" She said squeezing his hand.

"Wait! WTF! I can't feel my legs! What did they do?" He shouted. He took his hand from hers and put his hand under the cover, panicking that they had amputated his leg, but it was still there, there was however a rather large dressing on his leg that wasn't there before.

He saw her walk towards him "You had better start talking and tell me what the fuck is going on?" He said breathlessly.

Dr Cuddy walked over to him and put the oxygen mask back on. Which he actually didn't protest to this time. "Dr House, whilst you were in the chemically induced coma, we couldn't get your potassium down to a safe level, we maxed you out on everything we could think of but It just didn't work. So we went back into your leg and we debrided the muscle, you have an epidural in right now which is why you can't feel anything" She stated, knowing that the straight forward policy was best with him.

He was now angry and took off the oxygen mask again "How can you have done that I did not give consent for anything other than the embolectomy" He then saw Dr Cuddy look at Stacy….."You? " He shouted "You gave them permission to do this to me"

"Greg I saved your life" She argued

"What fucking life, do you know what they have done, I knew all the options, I told you I wanted no amputation just the embolectomy, dying was the other choice not this!" He said with passion

"Greg please" She begged.

"GET OUT!" She went to touch his shoulder "Don't! Get the fuck out, maybe you should google what they have done and see how things will be"

The heart monitor and the pulse ox where bleeping all over the place. "Dr House, you need to calm down, you have only been out of surgery for a few hours" Stated Dr Cuddy as she tried to get him to calm down. His stats were all over the place.

Stacy got up and walked away, not exactly too sure on what she was doing or where she was going but she knew that she had to leave.

House laid back and took some deep breaths, he could feel that his body was not happy, well neither was his mind. He put the oxygen mask to his mouth and took a few deep breaths "Dr Cuddy, I want my file so I can see what you have actually done!""

Cuddy gave him his file, he read in disbelief the amount of muscle that had been removed along with possible nerve damage, he would be lucky if he ever walked again. He would rather die than do this, what were they thinking. He chucked the file on the roll table.

"Dr House I will get Stein the surgeon to come and talk to you, I know this is a shock right now, but it had to be done to save your life, she did the right thing."

"For who? Me? NO, I knew all the options, I chose 1 and then it was decided without my knowledge to make a different choice, I would have chosen to die" He said quietly but firmly

Cuddy walked out of the ICU not really knowing what to do. They had made the right choice, well they thought they had, it was too late now, he was alive and would eventually get better, although she even didn't know what the outcome would be. This kind of thing didn't happen to 38yr old men in their physical prime. Only time would tell!

Wilson arrived in the ICU to see House for the first time and was a little overwhelmed by what he was seeing, heart monitor, pulse ox, oxygen mask, but did his best to not show it "I thought you pulled a muscle, this is a little extreme as treatment don't you think?" He said sitting in the visitor chair.

House scowled at him " a little" He retorted at which point 2 doctors walked in.

"Dr House, I am Dr Stein, this is Dr Hathaway, may we talk, take 15 minutes of your time" He said looking at Wilson

"Its fine, you can say whatever you need to say in front of him"

"I know you are a doctor but I am going to speak to you like I would any other patient, sometimes being a doctor and a patient can make things worse. We had to go in to your leg as an emergency, although the consent had already been signed, by the time it came to it, your potassium was out of control and to be honest had we not done it when we had we would have lost you forever. Now the clot had not only stopped blood flow to the rest of your leg but it had stopped it to the surrounding muscle which had consequently died. We had to take out some of the Quadriceps, mainly the Rectus Femorus and a small portion of the Vastus Lateralis. We try very hard to keep the nerves intact, but we had to move them around quite a bit so there is possibly some Nerve Damage too, but we do not know that for sure. We have put in a drain, I am going to leave it in for another couple of days, then once that is out and the wound is clean you can start Physical Therapy. Any questions so far?"

"What's the point of Physical Therapy, it's not like I am going to be able to walk, that muscle you cut out is the main muscle used for that – did you know that?" He said sarcastically basically not reacting to any other information, he already knew it anyway.

"I understand where you are coming from, but believe it or not you will make progress, I can't say how much because I am not clairvoyant, but PT is your best bet to get you as mobile again as possible"

"Whatever" He said brushing off the doctor

"We are going to start Dialysis this afternoon as your urine is showing no signs of improving. Dr Hathaway will be your pain consultant, he will take it from here"

"Dr House, we are going to start you on a Fentanyl patch, as you are not eating properly at the moment any narcotic taken orally will play havoc with your stomach, I am going to start you on a medium to high dose so that when the Epidural wears out you should have adequate relief. The nurses will be asking you continuously for your pain numbers and be honest with them when you answer otherwise I won't know what is working. Once we have you under good pain control we will pull the epidural catheter. For long term we will probably change you over to something taken orally" He continued

"Wait! Long term...how long term are we talking" Said Wilson interrupting the doctor

"We don't know yet, until it has all healed and PT has been completed we won't know what is needed and for how long is anyone's guess, but my feeling is that it will be life-long term" He said looking directly at House

House was looking down at the bed when he heard that and he automatically lifted his head in shock at hearing the words life-long term.

"ok, I need to check the incision before I leave. Dr Hathaway is going to start you on the patch now and right up a correct pain protocol for you, for the nurses to adhere to. We won't be using any morphine, but you have to let us know if you are in any pain"

"whatever" House was now tired, with his kidneys not working properly, not eating properly and with all the information he had to process, he had had about as much as he could take for one day.

Both doctors left within a few minutes. House lay quietly looking at the ceiling trying not to panic. Wilson was sitting in the chair beside his bed, pretty much doing the same thing.

"Anything I can get you House?" Asked Wilson quietly

"Yeah, how about a time machine so that I can go back a few days before this nightmare started!"

"Wish I could" Said Wilson honestly "Wish I could" He got up "I'm going to go and get a coffee from somewhere, I'll be back in a few"

House nodded. For the first time he was alone, the lights were low, the machines were beeping but the rest of the room was silent, apart from the sound of his heartbeat that seemed to be in his ear, he didn't even know how long he had been under for or what day it was, but all he could think was, how things had suddenly changed: Missing muscle, kidney damage, epidural catheter, urinal catheter, drain in the wound, oxygen stats fluctuating, heart rate low but steady, long term pain meds…..long term and why weren't they going to use morphine that is normally the best bet after surgery for short term pain….. aaah short term….. hmmm. Exhaustion finally took him under again, he could only hope this was a nightmare…..

A/N – I have left a 'deliberate' mistake in, I found it when I was editing but decided to leave it for a little bit of fun. I think I have done one in a previous chapter too. Lets see if anyone notices Thanks for reading everyone.