Happy 1/7/10!! Know what that means? Today is Xemmy and Saix-puppy's day, lol! Yeah…I'm a supporter of basically all of the couplings. Eek. And the 10 part was mentioned because it is currently the year of the Luxord. Funny, I and a friend had to laugh about two things related to the years. One, he and I both become legal drinkers this year (not that we care to really drink, but it's just the thought). And two, 2012 is supposedly the end of the world (No, I do NOT believe that. Again, it's just a funny thought). I told him that Larxene is the reason the world ends.
In case you're wondering just where the heck all of this is coming from, I recently found a comic by Ladychimera celebrating 2008 with Axel being overjoyed that it was finally 'his year'. If you've not read it, I believe it's just called "Happy New Years" or something. As all her comics, it's brilliantly hilarious. Oh, and Luxord might want to enroll into a detox program.
"IDK, My BFF Saix"
Bright and early the next morning, Xemnas called yet another meeting, but this time in the Grey Room. Everyone shuffled in, rubbing sleep out of their eyes and a few still had on their slippers. Zexion came in, doubled over still and rubbing his sore chest. Against it, he held a medical cold pack.
"Regular ice works better," Lexaeus told him.
"Thank you, mother," The boy snapped irritably.
Xemnas clapped and raised his hands for silence. "This will be quick, since this isn't an official meeting. It has come to my attention that Kingdom Hearts will only take hearts that are released with the keyblade. And since Roxas is the only person with one, I say that he should be the one doing all the slaying. Agreed?"
"Agreed!" Everyone else said.
"Wait, what the hell?!" Roxas shouted. "Just me?! But…Xion has a keyblade too!"
"Don't be a snitch, Roxas!" The girl shouted at him.
"I thought we were friends!!" He yelled back. She only shrugged.
Xemnas looked at Roxas with what as supposed to be pitying eyes. "Now, now, I know how…mean this all seems. But you're now about to become the underdog champion! We're counting on you to get the job done! Don't let us down, kiddo!"
"I…No!" Roxas shouted, throwing his weapon down on the ground. A second later, he realized what was about to happen. "Uh-oh…" The blade came back to him in a flash, the force knocking him off his feet. As he slowly got back up, he asked, "Okay…fine. But just explain to me why Xion doesn't have to do anything. Or, better yet, Sora!"
Xemnas sighed, then flicked his eyes to someone else in the room. It was hard to tell which person it was. "Sora…Well, why use Sora when we have you? As for Xion…her father doesn't want her out there in the line of danger."
Xion blanched. "Dude, my father walked out on me and my mom when I was a kid! What do you know about him?"
Suddenly, Vexen stepped forward. "Because I am your father," he said.
"DUN DUN DUN!!!" Demyx said dramatically.
"Was that supposed to be a Star Wars reference? 'Cause I'm not laughing!" Xion yelled, holding her Keyblade in a ready position.
"No…you are my daughter. Sort of," Vexen said. "I actually created you. You are one in a list of replicas I hope to make in order for us to get more hearts."
"No! That's impossible! And sick! And…ewwww….!!! You're old!" Xion looked disgusted.
"Don't you talk to your father like that, young lady!" Vexen snapped.
The girl shook her head. "But…if I was created to collect hearts—and I'm not complaining here but--why am I not fighting? Roxas is going to get torn a new blowhole out there!"
Maybe Saix imagined it, but was that a smirk that flickered across Axel's face?
"Well, sweetie, I just want to protect you," Vexen said, stepping closer with his arms out. "I want to protect my little girl."
Xion took a step back. "I will never accept you as my father! You hear me?"
"I'm not deaf, damnit!" The scientist whined.
"I refuse to ever be your daughter! You may have created me and evidently altered my memories so I don't remember it, but I don't have to just take this!" She turned and ran away from him, disappearing in her own portal.
"You're grounded, missy!" Vexen called after her as the hole vanished. "Good Kindom Hearts…she's going to be one of those rebellious ones," he muttered. "Next thing you know, she'll come back with a nose piercing, tattoos and boys hanging off her arms! I'll have 'The Talk' with her when she returns."
Roxas shook his head. "This is still totally unfair!" He said.
"You can also bitch about fair and unfair later," Saix muttered. He opened a pocket book and said, "Let's see here…ah! Hollow Bastion. There's a huge heartless problem there. Go deal with that, then head to Halloween Town. It seems Oogie Boogie has kind of gone off his rocker and maybe you can knock some sense into him. And last, but of course not least…you should enter a tournament at the Coliseum. Oh, and um…watch out for Cerberus."
He snapped his book shut and opened a portal against the wall. Shoulders at an all-time lowest sag, Roxas went through it and disappeared.
"Soo…what happens to the rest of us now?" Luxord asked.
"Why, we sit back and relax, luv," Larxene purred. Yes, purred.
"She's actually right," Xemnas said. "I have to rethink our strategy now. I believe all our hard work calls for a day off. Now, let's see…Roxas mentioned something about a Destiny Island a few days ago…"
"No!" Riku shouted. "That's my home! We are not going there!"
"Too late!" Xemnas said, and walked into his own portal. The rest of the Organization followed him, Riku bringing up the end with his protests.
"Ahh, the sea, the sand and the sun!" their leader breathed taking in the sights.
"I hate sand," Xaldin muttered, and headed to higher grounds away from the beach.
Half of the others had already stripped down to their skivvies and was wading in the water. Well, all except Axel.
"Aww, don't like the sea?" Demyx asked.
"I'm a fire element. Water is like my kryptonite."
Suddenly, the blonde smirked. "Oh? Is that so…"
"Dem…what are you—DON'T DO THAT!!!!"
Controlling the water, Demyx made a huge wave come onto the land. As it pulled back out to the sea, it washed away Zexion's sand castle, and took Axel with it.
It was then that everyone learned that Axel also couldn't swim. "Whoops…" The blonde said. "Well, I think that's my cue to get going!" With that, he vanished somewhere else.
Lexaeus was closest to Axel in the water, and effortlessly scooped him up and dragged him back to shore. With little grace, he let him flop onto the sand, his face blue with the lack of oxygen.
"I actually don't know CPR," he told the gathering crowd.
Everyone else looked around at each other too. Finally, Marluxia stepped forward. "I'll save the idiot," he sneered, pushing the others aside.
A horrified cringe rippled through everyone.
With little time to waste, he dropped to his knees and began giving Axel air through the mouth. The cringing intensified and most couldn't look at all.
With a gasping cough, Axel woke up, spitting out water as he came to. "Wow…you guys saved me," he said weakly.
"Tch, as if!" Xigbar said. "The big lug over there pulled you out of the water and this…flower child gave you the kiss of life."
"Flower child?" Axel asked. His eyes roamed over the Organization…and came to a horrified pause on Marluxia. The pink-haired man gave him a cruel grin.
"No…NO! You should've just let me die!"
"How ungrateful!" Marluxia teased. "Maybe next time, I will." He walked off, Larxene next to him, who lamenting over the fact of not knowing CPR herself.
Xemnas applauded the group effort. "Great work, team! That's what I'm talking about! Brotherly bonding!"
That cringe had now officially turned into an outright shudder.
Saix decided to get away from the action. Across a wooden bridge was a small chunk of land with a fallen tree across the width of it. Since the spot happened to be vacant, he figured it'd make a great place to get the hell away from all the commotion.
Riku's pretty lucky to live here, he thought. Island life all the time…
"Hi, Saix-papi!" A blur of black and silver said happily as it flopped beside him.
Ugh. "Hello, Superior," Saix muttered.
"Wow, have you tried one of these fruits?" Xemnas blabbed. "I mean, wow! Here, have a bite!" He said, holding out a yellow star-shaped fruit.
"No…I'm really not a fruit person," Saix said, pushing it away.
"Aw, come on! There's not a lot on the trees and I've never seen them sold in stores. Here, share one with me so that the locals can still have some."
Saix really didn't want to eat the damn thing, but if it'd make the man shut up sooner, it was worth it. He took a piece that was handed him and shoved it in his mouth. "I guess it's okay…" he admitted. But that was a lie. That stuff was delicious! Full of sugary goodness that made even the sweetest melon seem bland. He eagerly accepted another piece that Xemnas held out.
While they ate, a set of footsteps could be heard on the bridge behind them. "Oh, Riku. Wow, your island is beautiful!" Xemnas continued on in that…joyful way of his. "And my, what do you call these fruits? They're quite exquisite!"
Gay, gay, gay!! Saix mentally chanted, while still smacking loudly on the fruit.
Riku's eyes widened as he stared between the two. "You…didn't both eat off the same fruit, did you?"
"Uh…yeah. I mean, there's not a lot of them on the trees so I—" Xemnas began.
"Oh man…oh no….It's just legend, Riku, it doesn't mean anything," he muttered to himself.
"Care to explain?" Their superior asked, straightening up and getting serious.
With a huge sigh, Riku said, "Supposedly, if two people share a paopu fruit, their destines become intertwined. They stay with each other forever."
It was here that Saix tuned into the conversation. He slowly looked down at the rest of the fruit in his hands, then spat it out on the ground and flung the rest out to sea. "And you just oh so conveniently forgot to mention this?!" Saix yelled.
"Like I was to know you two would eat one!" Riku shouted. "I hope you guys learn to get along or you have a lifetime of annoying hell to go through…" With that, he walked away, shaking his head.
Xemnas on the other hand, ran up to him and gave him a glomping hug. "Xem-Saix 4ever!" He shouted out gleefully.
"Oh dear gods, kill me now…" the blue haired man whispered as his face was smothered in Xemnas' leather coat.
- - -
Much later in the day, another portal appeared on the beach, and Xion and Roxas stepped through it. Xion looked slightly agitated, but for the most part was herself. Roxas on the other hand…looked as though he had been put in a blender set to 'chop'.
Loudly, for the entire island to hear, he began explaining his story.
"Alright, so being the good little boy I am, I head out to Hollow Bastion first. A heartless problem doesn't come close to what I had to deal with there! They need a SWAT team designated to fighting heartless. And whoever built that annoying security system there needs to be shot by Xigbar as well! They had me locked up in a cell until they were certain I wasn't a heartless! Absolute bullcrap!
After I'm finally let go, I hit up a library to get a little background info on Halloween Town. But I somehow tripped and landed inside of a book! Next thing I know, I'm in the woods somewhere. Then out of nowhere I'm mauled by a tiger! In the woods! Can you believe this?!
So I finally get out of the damn woods somehow, which is really getting out of the book and I go to Halloween Town. I'm trying to ask around about this Oogie Boogie person, but most of the people were too scared to talk about him and the only ones that might've told me something about him were these three annoying ass little kids who kept chucking bombs at my face! I swear, I was this close to beating them up and dealing with the repercussions later!
And last but not least, the Coliseum. Joining a tournament, no problem. But I just love how Seven left out that Cerberus was a three headed dog!! Oh, I had loads of fun with him! In short, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm pissed, and all of you can suck my—"
"Well, happy you had fun out there!" Xemnas interrupted. "But we need to be getting back to the castle. Into the portal, everyone!" He cast open an entrance into the darkness.
As the others RTC'd (returned to castle), Roxas saw something out the corner of his eye and turned. Riku had walked up to another person and was hugging them. Sora. The brown haired boy was facing Roxas, and as Riku leaned down, Sora held up two fingers behind his back. Two middle fingers. Then he switched it to his index fingers, mouthing, "If you ain't first, you're last!"
If Axel hadn't grabbed his arm and forcefully pulled him into the portal, Sora would've been four fingers less than what he started the day out with.
The evening winded down with a much quieter dinner than the night before. Maybe because Xemnas forgot his niece again? Saix had to bring her a plate himself, but even that wasn't enough. He forgot the girl was a human black hole. So, he brought her to the fridge and let her grub to her hearts' content.
There was nothing left.
By the time Namine had finished eating the last corn cob from a few nights ago, it was past one in the morning. She burped him good night and left him to clean up the mess.
Oh joy.
Excuse the length of this chapter. I had a small plot bunny that had more bunnies and then…this was formed. It's a run-around chapter, but blame the sudden remembrance of today's date. Also, I'm struggling to have the cliché couples in this, or to keep them as single people (with maybe hints of the couples, but nothing definite). You guys can choose, 'kay? Be kind and review now!
