Story Title: Touch of Destiny

Chapter 9: Friendships come from bizarre places

Chapter summery: Lunch happens, the clinic sucks as usual, and there is an unusual differential in the department.

xXx

Disclaimer: Not mine, unless you don't recognize a character. Then it is mine, and you shouldn't take it.

AN: Aaaaand….here it is folks! The next exciting installment of the story! Be wary, this chapter is probably the most OOC I've written House yet…so I apologize right now for how horrid this chapter is.

Obsessedwithstabler: Darn…too bad on the milk. Maybe something else…like apple juice? And I will definitely be on the lookout for Hide and Seek. grin And sorry, no phone. I can barely afford one myself…as for your latest update on Hide and Seek….EVIL YOU!!!!

Sweetgreuy: only the juiciest for my readers!

Dayamiracle: cliff hangers seem to be all the rage lately….MWAHAHAHA!!!!

LittleDragonfly23: I'm glad this is one of your faves!! That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Feel lucky….the only reason I'm able to update this often is because I'm on spring break. Enjoy it while it lasts!

bones4life: I live for those House/Cuddy moments. They amuse me so very much! And who doesn't love House/Cam moments? As for revealing the plan….

breakaway01: insert diabolical laughter here That is my job, hun. I LIVE to make people wait! Hahaha!! I'm glad you love the story!

Splante: I'm glad that my writing of House is authentic enough to please ya'll. That makes me happy that I'm doing an adequate job. However, this chapter may fail your approval…I don't think he's in character...but there's no other way that I can change it. sniff

xxBuffyfreakxx: Ahhh, the sweet sound of annoyance from me writing cliffhangers. I love my life:D

colonelheather: This is the smirk of self satisfaction  

whoKMH: See, if House isn't uncomfortable, I'd think he'd be MUCH more likely to be "happy" around her, like he was when they went to the monster trucks in the first season.

SapereAude: This is the plan…HAHAHAHA!! Read below…you shall soon see!

Limaccia: Yeah, he is MUCH more comfortable acting "romantic" for show rather than for real.

saz89: I'm just paying all ya'll back for those who enjoy writing cliffhangers!!!

House.Cam-xx: I'm glad you love it! And I try to be awesome. It's my goal in life to have everyone know just how awesome I am!

ColorOfAngels: I never said I was nice, did I? Nope. Newsflash: I'm an evil writer. grin

AnybodysBaby: I'm glad you love it! I always enjoy getting new readers!

xXx

A week had passed since House and Cameron's date to the monster trucks and so far, their plan had worked. They had managed to confuse everyone in the hospital about their "relationship" and drive them all insane with the massive circles they were taking everyone in. The mischievous pair had made Wilson want to crawl up a wall, Cuddy was willing to retire early, and Chase was about ready to eat his crossword puzzle book. Foreman just took it in stride, though he himself was ready to jump off the roof of the hospital. And when ever the four of them gathered together to talk, another piece of House's plan fell into place.

Monday

They had agreed to come to work at the same time, late of course, and walk in together.

"House." Cameron greeted him in the parking lot as she stepped from her car and walked towards him.

"Cameron." House nodded and smirked. "Repeat the phases for me."

Rolling her eyes, she obliged. "Phase one, or Monday, make everyone suspicious, but no actual physical contact."

"Good. Next?"

"Phase two, Tuesday, involves adding more physical contact but keeping it minimal and kosher. Phase three, Wednesday, involves more physical contact, but arguments that seem as if we are a couple arguing about stupid stuff. Phase four, Thursday, involves ignoring each other and acting like we hate each other. Phase five, Friday, is back to making everyone think we're falling in love." The whole spiel was dripping with sarcasm as she ticked each one off on her fingers.

House nodded. "Ready for phase one?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." She took a deep breath and grinned.

"Don't screw this up." He whispered as they started to the door, trying to make it appear as if he was sharing something dirty with her. "I'll never let you live it down."

"As if you had to tell me." She muttered with a smile that she hoped looked seductive.

Apparently their charade worked, because as they entered together, Wilson and Cuddy, who were talking by the clinic doors, stopped and stared at the pair. The moment they were safe in the elevator, they started to laugh. "Remind me to never doubt you again." House announced, amusement laced through his voice. "You really can pull something like this off. Of course, the true test will be later on in the week."

"Of course." She smirked as the doors opened.

"On to the other ducklings!" House pointed down the hall. "Race you to the department!"

She just rolled her eyes and kept walking. He turned around when he realized that she wasn't moving any faster. "Hello? The point of a race is to actually race."

"Just thought that I'd give you a head start." She said before taking off in a slow jog.

"Hey! No fair!" House shouted after her as he limp/ran as fast as he could.

She stepped into the room and blew out a breath of air with laughter seeping through. Chase and Foreman had stopped what they were doing and were staring at her in confusion. House came in right at that moment. "That was so not cool, Cam."

"Really? I found it very cool, House." She shot back. "It appears as if we don't have a patient, so I'm going to go to the clinic." She walked out of the department, lab coat steaming behind her.

House didn't have to fake the obvious admiration of her ass as she left. Chase and Foreman each made a mental note to talk with Wilson and Cuddy as soon as they had a moment.

Tuesday

Once again, they met together in the parking lot, this time a little earlier than the day before.

"Alright, Cameron. We are on to phase two." House announced as Cameron walked over to him.

"Oh goodie." She said gleefully. "How confused do you think we should make them today?" The day before she had had all four of the others come and talk to her about House. Apparently, House had had death threats from all four about hurting Cameron. They were both looking forward to today and tomorrow, even if they'd never actually admit it to themselves.

He looped his free arm around her shoulders and they walked into the hospital together. This time, the only people at the front was the nurse on duty and a couple of patients. House sighed impatiently. "It's no fun to do this when they aren't here to witness it."

Cameron shrugged. "Maybe they're upstairs."

"Maybe." House hesitated before dipping her slightly and kissing her firmly. He righted her before she could react and smirked at the now gaping nurse.

Once safely in the elevator, Cameron turned to House. "What was that about?"

"What better way to confuse people," he said matter-of-factly, "then to start the rumor mill going?"

"Right." She raised an eyebrow and shook her head. She was beginning to think that they were getting in way over their heads.

Wednesday

Now she was sure that they were in over their heads. The day before, Wilson had cornered both of them together and had questioned them about what the gossipy nurse had told him. They had both denied it wholeheartedly and Wilson had left, not yet quite convinced. House knew that Wilson would have talked to Cuddy, so he was expecting her to be waiting in the lobby of the hospital.

Cuddy was walking into her office when she caught sight of them. Her eyes drifted down to their joined hands and then back up to their faces. "So it is true."

"Is what true?" House put on the perfect face of confusion. "This is a hospital, right? And I do work here, right?"

"Yes, House. We both work here." Cameron's tone was annoyed, perfecting the beginning of phase three.

"You two being a couple." Cuddy didn't waste anymore time in asking. "Is that true?"

House pulled a childish face. "Us? A couple? Ew!" He contradicted his statement by holding onto Cameron's hand tighter and pulling her towards him a little. "Where on earth did you hear that?"

He dragged Cameron into the elevator. "Take a guess, Dr. Cuddy." He dipped Cameron into a passionate kiss, much more so than the day before, the doors closing on them. Once they were closed, House let her up. "This is becoming quite exciting! We should've thought of this months ago!"

Once they were safely in the diagnostics department, they separated and House went into his office and she started to make the coffee. They could soon hear the other two coming down the hall. House opened the door separating his office from the rest of the department and waggled his eyebrows. "Time to act like an old married couple, Cameron dear." When he knew that Foreman and Chase could hear them, he started to talk loudly. "Cam, I told you, I can't get rid of the hookers. I have a duty to them. Once their contract is up, then you can have me all to yourself!"

Cameron shot him a look that said was that the best you could come up with and joined in. "You told me that there was no one else!" She tried to sound hurt and betrayed.

The male ducklings entered and froze when they saw the face off. House was leaning on his cane and rubbing his face and Cameron was either close to tears or killing House.

House gave a convincing sigh of defeat. "Fine. I'll tell them that the contract is up."

"Thank-you." She sounded happy and smiled at him, turning back to the coffee.

The other two just gave each other strange looks. What was going on?

Thursday

"Remember, today you have to hate me." House announced as they prepared for day four.

"That won't be hard." Cameron muttered. "After what you said yesterday…"

"Then you'll be able to play in character." House interrupted.

"Fine." She stormed into the hospital, House close behind.

"Cameron, what is your problem today?" House paused and pretended to think. "Is it that time of month? Or are you pregnant?" Everyone in the waiting area turned to stare at the couple, Wilson and Cuddy included.

She turned around, the astonishment very close to being real. "You are my problem, House!"

"Me? I'm not the one who insisted on this everyday! That was you! I was more than content…"

"Just shut up. For once, House, just shut up." She disappeared up the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator.

House waited until the elevator was on its way up before grinning. The looks on Cuddy and Wilson's face were priceless when they saw Cameron and himself arguing.

Friday

Lunch time was a time when they could have 10 minutes to themselves to talk about what to do next to their four "friends." Both House and Cameron were quite amused at how confused Foreman, Chase, Cuddy, and Wilson were, not to mention the entirety of the hospital staff.

House opened his Rueben to check for pickles and nearly threw his sandwich at the wall. He instead settled for slamming his fist on the table.

Cameron jumped, not expecting the sudden loud noise. "What did they do now?"

"You heard me ask for no pickles, right?" House grumbled, ticked off.

His lunch companion looked amused. "You always ask for a Rueben, dry, with no pickles."

He gave an annoyed smirk, causing his eyes to close halfway. "Exactly."

Cameron refrained from grinning. "So what's wrong with it now? Did they put lettuce on or something? God forbid!" She out a hand on her chest in mock surprise.

House ignored the sarcastic tone she had adopted and shuddered. "Worse." He held out the sandwich. "They put cucumbers on. Cucumbers! They're worse than pickles!" He ranted in his snarky way and shuddered again. "I swear they do it just to annoy me."

Cameron finally grinned and rolled her eyes. "I'll take 'em." She took the sandwich and proceeded to de-cucumberfy his sandwich. "You know, eating vegetables won't kill you." She said, shaking a cucumber at him.

House just grabbed his un-cucumbered Reuben and took a bite. "Yes they will." He said in a childish voice. "The only thing they are good for is for getting an almost free meal. Salads are very cheep you know."

"I know." Cameron hid her grin behind her own sandwich as she took a bite. Her eyes suddenly bulged and she nearly choked on her food when she saw who entered the room.

House took note of this and frowned. "Cam, what's wrong?"

The nickname went unnoticed by her as she frantically, and hopefully discreetly, pointed at who she saw. "Wilson and Cuddy, 2 o'clock." She whispered fervently. "What do we do?"

His eyes glowed mischievously. "Leave that to me." He grinned, wagging his eyebrows suggestively. She would have made a remark, but a voice interrupted her thoughts.

"House, Cameron? What are you two doing here?" Cuddy actually seemed surprised that they were sitting together. However, her innocent tone didn't fool either of the other doctors in the slightest.

House spoke up first. "Having mad monkey sex." At the blank looks on the standing pair's faces, he grimaced. Cameron hid her face behind her napkin, willing herself not to either burst out laughing or hit him, trying to appear offended. "What does it look like we're doing? We are eating." House said in a don't-mess-with-me tone. "It's what people do when they are hungry."

"Yeah, but with Cameron?" Wilson couldn't help himself. "I thought you…"

"So I prefer eating with her to you. Get over it Jimmy. So how are the fun bags today, Cuddy? Letting them get some fresh air I see." House cut in. He threw Cameron such a swift apologetic look she thought she imagined it.

Cuddy just glared at him. "House, could you stop with the sexual remarks at me for one day, please?"

He appeared to ponder this thought before shaking his head. "Nope, sorry. I reserve that for special people." He used his fingers to quote 'special.'

"Well it would seem that Cameron certainly qualifies there." Wilson muttered, before wincing at the jab he received from a certain cane.

"I do qualify, thank you, Wilson. But you don't need to get jealous. You can still have your mad way with House after work." Cameron said smoothly, not daring to look at House for fear of laughing at the astonished look on Wilson's face. She turned to Cuddy. "As you can see, we are having lunch. We just happened to sit at the same table."

"And enter in at the same time." Wilson was on a roll. "Ouch, House cut it out!"

House tried to look innocent. "What? Me? I didn't do anything."

"House, clinic. Now." Cuddy ordered before storming off with Wilson close behind. When they were sure that the other two were gone, Cameron and House looked at each other and smirked.

"You were right." Cameron admitted finally, standing up with both hers and House's trash. "This has been quite an entertaining week!" They shared a grin as they walked out of the cafeteria, House heading to the clinic and Cameron heading off to run some more tests for the clinic.

Unbeknownst to them, Wilson and Cuddy had hidden behind the wall near the cafeteria and watched them leave. Wilson turned to Cuddy. "Did you see what I saw?"

"If you are referring to the return of the easy comradeship between them, yes I did." She said, just as stunned as Wilson.

"They've been messing with us this whole week!" Wilson suddenly realized, his voice held a slight hint of anger. "Now I am almost certain that this is more than a simple type of 'thanks for being by my side after I was shot' or 'I'm guilty that my scorn of patients caused my beautiful duckling to be shot' kind of friendship between them." Wilson's tone was disbelieving and hinting at what he was about to suggest next.

"Oh, no, James." Cuddy said warningly. "We are not going to ruin his life. We've already decided that we aren't going to butt in until he starts to screw it up. And seeing how Cameron went along with his plan to mess with our minds, I'd say he hasn't screwed up yet."

"But they're happy with each other!" He protested his eyes wide. "Something is bound to go wrong, especially since it is House, and I don't want to see him go down that road again!"

Cuddy shook her head. "Then stay out of it. I, for one, am not about to risk ruining this for him by plotting against the two of them. Besides, you heard the comments she made. He's roped her into the deep well of endless sarcasm. This week is another good example of why not to interfere. Having the two of them planning pranks to get us back is not my idea of a good time, James."

"Whatever you say, Lisa." Wilson gave in reluctantly. He gave a wistful glance down the hall before heading off to his office.

Cuddy headed down to the clinic. If House wasn't there, he'd pay dearly for it. He had forced Chase and Foreman to do both his and Cameron's clinic hours for most of the week and she wasn't going to stand by and see it happen for the rest of the week.

xXx

The moment Wilson was in his office, he locked the door. He sat in his chair and tried to convince himself that it wasn't his business to meddle. I've already messed up enough of his life; he doesn't need this on top of it.

But his desire of having assurance won out. He stood up and closed the blinds. This call was top secret, at least from House. He tapped his pen as the other line rang. He was just about to hang up when a breathless voice sounded from the other end. "Hello?"

Wilson spun around and leaned back, fiddling with the phone cord. "Hello, Stacy, it's James. How's life?"

xXx

"Dr. House, signing in, 12:35. I'll be in exam room one, with a patient." House announced as he picked up the first file. "Great. He's got a sore throat. I don't even have to go into the exam room." He rolled his eyes and clunked down the short hall to the exam room. Banging the door open, he stepped into the room, looking around suspiciously as if making sure the coast was clear before glancing at the patient. The man sitting on the exam table was looking at House as if he had gone insane. "Hi. I'm Dr. House." He closed the door and leaned against the wall, thumbing through the file. "What seems to be your problem Bill?"

"It's Bud." The man said, annoyed. "Are you actually my doctor?"

House glanced up, an annoyed expression obvious on his face. "Duh. You think I'd be here if I wasn't?"

"Well, I'd figure that as a doctor…"

"I'd what? Be nice?" House glared at Bud. "Sorry, I left my bedside manner at the old folks manor today."

"Uh, oh-kay. My throat hurts." The man glared back at House.

House tightened his jaw and nodded once. "I gathered that."

"It feels as if something is burning every time I swallow."

"You have a sore throat." House interrupted. "Take some Advil, and buy some throat lozenges." He moved towards the door. "Bye now." He left the man sitting there astounded and annoyed. "Next!" House announced, grabbing the next file and walking towards exam room three. This room had two occupants, a mom and her daughter.

House stepped into the room and groaned. "It's crowd. Everyone wants the G-man."

The mom stopped pacing and took in House and his cane in her gaze, ignoring his evident sarcasm. "They sent a cripple to diagnose my daughter?"

House just raised an eyebrow. "Crippled doctor. Don't forget the doctor bit. Just because I use a cane doesn't mean my brain is broken." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the vicodin, popping one into his mouth. "And right now, the leg hurts. So, Sarah, what happened that mommy is so concerned about."

"She fell." The mom injected quickly.

House shot her a look. "I asked her."

"She's five. She can't…"

House interrupted her sarcastically. "Oh, you overprotective types. Always underestimating the underdogs. Yes she can. Now, Sarah, what happened?"

"I fell down." She whispered shyly.

House refrained from rolling his eyes again. "No…that's what mommy said. What really happened?"

The little girl looked scared. "I did. I did fall down."

House shook his head. "What, Sarah. What did you fall down?"

"The stairs."

House turned to the mother. "The stairs? Are you a moron? What happened to those wonderful baby gates that used to be all the rage? You know, the one's that prevented things like this from happening?"

"She's five."

"Yeah, you mentioned that. Point being?" House said annoyed. "You do realize that at age five, that while she is very capable of answering questions, she is still incapable of realizing that stairs aren't quite the same a solid, flat ground? Put some gates up, and she'll be fine." He ran his hands over her arms and legs and nodded. "Nothing's broken. Just give her child's Tylenol for the pain and use those nifty gates so it doesn't happen again." He left the room and looked at the clock at the nurses' station. "12:45. Great. I've only been here 10 minutes." He sighed then grinned. He knew how to escape Cuddy. He'd go to the one place she'd never look.

xXx

The case load wasn't much of a load. In fact, there was nothing.

At all.

Cameron sat answering House's email and snail mail while Chase sat working on his crossword puzzles. Foreman had resorted to lying on the floor and counting the number of pens and pencils that House had thrown there while Cameron was still a patient. So far he was at 20, but he wasn't sure. He kept loosing count.

"What is a seven letter word for shortness of breath?" Chase asked suddenly.

"Dyspnea." Foreman and Cameron answered in unison.

He frowned, counted out the number of letters, and shrugged. "Thanks."

"What do you guys think? You think House would be willing to speak at the next conference?" Cameron turned and addressed the other two occupants in the room.

"What do you think?" Foreman asked incredulously.

"No." They all said in unison, laughing together. She turned back to the computer. "So that's a decline on, I believe, four today. That's 15 from the past week or so. You'd think people would get the picture by now that House doesn't do speeches, especially after Vogler."

"Yeah, you'd think. Ouch!" Foreman muttered as a pencil fell from its firm grip on the ceiling. "Damn it, lost count again. One, two, three…"

"You'd think we'd have a case." Cameron interrupted. "Why don't we have a case?"

"Because, in order for us to even have a case, House has to find it remotely interesting. Nothing has interested him lately." Chase shrugged, putting his puzzle book down with a small grin. "But, it would seem that someone has been catching his interest."

Foreman sat up at Chase's comment. "Yeah, I've noticed that as well. Cameron, what do you think?"

She avoided looking at either of them. "I have no idea what you are referring to. House has every right to talk to and show interest in whomever he desires." She said firmly, hoping that they would drop the subject. Her hopes were dashed in the next moment.

"No, I believe you do know what and who we are referring to." Foreman threw a wad of paper at her. "Spill. You two have been messing with our minds this whole week. What's going on between you two?"

Cameron laughed and dodged the paper. "Nothing, honest."

"Right." Chase said, not convinced at all. "If I believed that, I'd eat my lab coat."

"So eat your lab coat. Nothing is going on between us." Cameron insisted irritably, standing up. "I'm done here, so I am going to go find something to do. If either of you need me, or if House somehow gets a case, page me." She walked out of the room before either guy could say anything.

xXx

Cameron found herself climbing the stairs to the roof access. She stepped out onto the roof of the hospital and closed the metal door as quietly as she could. She slowly made her way towards the edge of the roof and ignored the wind as it blew her hair into her eyes. The last time she was up here was a week and a half ago. This time, she stood there not fearful of going back to work, but contemplating life. She was enjoying the solitude when the door opened and the metal door banged loudly on the brick wall. She turned around to see House standing there.

"I see you had the same idea I had." He smirked, walking towards her.

She nodded, watching as he grew slowly closer to her. "I had to get away from those two."

"You know, if we keep meeting like this, people are going to suspect something." He said cautiously.

"They already do." She noted wryly. "Our antics this week insured that."

"Point taken." He nodded, standing directly in front of her. She smiled softly and turned away, facing over the city of Princeton. He moved beside her and they stood there in silence. "Chase wants you." He said softly.

"What does he need?" Cameron turned to him. "Do we have a patient?'

House shook his head. "I didn't say he needs you. He wants you."

Realization dawned on her and she started to laugh. "He wants me? As in, 'I like you so I want to sleep with you again,' wants me?"

House nodded mutely, curious at her reaction.

"How do you know? Has he said anything?"

He shook his head again. "I…can see it."

"That's rich." Cameron's laughter died down, though traces of amusement lingered in her voice. "I definitely don't want him."

House felt his heart rate return to normal, and he suddenly realized he was annoyed at himself for realizing his heart rate had changed in the first place. Cameron wasn't his, he thought moodily, not officially. And until he could work up the courage and the balls to make it so, she was still open to the public, so to speak.

She felt herself grow sad at the gloomy expression that filled his face. He just needs time and space. She assured herself. "I'm going back downstairs." She walked over to the door and turned to face him again. "Don't worry; I'm not going to tell them anything, and I'm not going to go rush off and marry Chase." The part about Chase was said in a teasing tone as she left.

House just watched her leave the roof. He wasn't worried that she'd tell. He was worried that something was going to wrong and that she would run off with Chase. In fact, he knew something was going to go wrong. He could feel it. Kaeyla's latest email ran though his head.

Greg,

I feel that I must warn you. Robert Chase's emails are becoming quite frequent, as well as his obvious admiration and liking of my daughter. Greg, you had better stake your claim if you want her. I know you don't think that I understand you, but I think that you'd be surprised. Maybe someday you can meet my husband. I think you two would get along wonderfully. Perhaps if you met him, you would be more likely to accept Allison's affection for you. Let me know what you think.

Kaeyla

House had yet to reply because he had had no idea what to say to that. Now he knew just how he was going to reply. He closed the door to his office and flipped the blinds closed.

Kaeyla,

I want to thank you for bringing Chase to my attention. I will make sure that I make his life living hell for the next few days. As for 'staking my claim', that is a process that is a long time away. I'm sure you've been able to tell during our conversations that I have a problem with opening up to people. I will, however, tell you that our 'date' went successfully; as I'm sure Allison has already told you.

As for meeting your husband, I think that that can be arranged.

Greg

xXx

AN: Well, there ya go! Officially the longest one yet, of ANY of my stories. 13 pages on word, baby! If anyone has idea's on how to improve this chapter…because I hate it. A lot.