Well, my week is going to be really busy so I figure I oughta do this quick.
Random: I'm going to begin a Kuroshitsuji Parody. And have a poll on my profile for it. Even if you don't know the series, it'd be nice if you voted! Please?~
-/- Oh yay! Misaki doing more stupid stuff!
Upon entering the Usami house I was rushed up the stairs, past the collection of Tom Cruise films and led into a storage room. And guess what? No cake.
That wasn't the only odd thing. I mean, offering cake you don't have is pretty odd. But there was more. Haruhiko muttered something about an offering to the 'almightily' in thanks for his 'luck.' And then something about a spell being needed to clean me…
I mean, I take a shower or bath every night! I'm not dirty! *
Then he made to leave. Of course, though I'm not the brightest knife in Zaroff's collection*, it did accrue to me that I was going to be locked in a closet.
"Wait! What's going on here? Where's the cake!"
"The cake is a lie. This is your room now. I'll be back in a few hours."
Then he left me with the worst thoughts possible going through my head. If there wasn't cake, that meant Haruhiko wasn't a good guy which meant…
He had cake. He just didn't want to share it.
The bastard.
-/- 7 minutes later:
Well, after being in the storage closet whatever for over five minutes, I started getting bored. I mean, most people probably would have been panicking and at least trying to bust down the door. Not me. I was smart enough to remember that the Usami's were rich assholes and their closets had windows. No joke. There really was a window in this closet! And some conveniently placed bed sheets.
After making a rope from the bed sheets, like any good boy-scout, I duct taped it to the window sill. This would be my escape from total boredom I thought.
And then it broke.
You're probably thinking the duct tape didn't hold or that my knots just weren't that great. You're wrong on both accounts. True. I was a boy scout but I was so horrible at knots, that I knotted it in trying to knot it. And of course the duct tape held! Duct Tape solves everything, remember? And what would this parody be if it hadn't worked for me?
It was the windowsill that didn't hold. I guess my weight was just too much.
Well, after falling like a complete idiot into some bushes, I realized that the twins and Haruhiko were standing there, watching me like hawks.
"Wow, Misaki. You really aren't the shiniest of Lestat's mirrors* are you?" Haruhiko asked, cocking his head to one side.
"Ahem. I believe what you mean to say is 'Misaki, you're not the snarkiest Cullen in the silverware drawer?'" Kaoruko said.
No one even bothered to look at her funny. Then again, in this family it mustn't have been too strange.
"Well, now is a perfect time to once again claim that Misaki is mine. And fortunately this time I have video proof." Akihiko said, pulling a DVD from his pocket, "Here, this is a tape of Misaki and I having sex. Enjoy."
I fainted then and there. I was planning on dying of embarrassment, but I'm need for later chapters. And if the writer really wanted to kill me off, I would have somehow been beheaded when I fell from the window.
((Oh, and then there was hot car-sex scenes that cannot be shown due to the story's current T-rating. However it may appear in the bonuses cause I'd love to write a spoofed smut. It'd be insane!))
-/-
*Sort of a reference to Kuroshitsuji. Ciel is referred to as dirty, unclean and impure. Though, Misaki's past is really sad as well (Although it really isn't referred too much anymore) I'm using it as 'impure' he's no "Taki-Sama" flower. :P
* If you understand this, you get a virtual cookie! … Then again, if you do get it than you also realize as psycho I really am. Yeah, I wanted him to kill Rainsford. (: I'm a weirdo.
*I love Lestat! … Anyway, he was played by Tom Cruise in Interview with the Vampire. And to date has never met a mirror he didn't like. Hint hint.
