Ch.9 The Questioning
It's been almost two years since I last updated! Doesn't quite feel like it because every few months or so I continue to add to this story, but I never get far enough to publish anything. I decided that I will publish what I have and go from there. Obviously, my end-goal for this story has changed drastically since when I first started so I will do what I can to make this transition seamless. Otherwise, enjoy!
"The right thing isn't always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So...good luck figuring that out."
-Charlie Swan, Eclipse
With deep measured breaths, Emma calmed her pounding heart and relaxed the muscles of her body. Slowly, her awareness came to note the rough texture of the rock underneath her and the scent of the rain-soaked soil. Birds chattered in the trees and a light summer breeze whipped chestnut locks about her face. The morning had a left a faint chill in the air, but as the sun rose behind her, she felt its warm rays drive away the damp and the fog.
Vampires.
Werewolves.
Bella.
Paul.
Amelia.
So many questions. Very few answers. And a tangled web of emotions and half-truths.
Her trust was completely shattered in Paul. It was one thing to have an angry outburst. It was something entirely different when that outburst hurt someone physically and revealed the life-changing truth behind an elaborate lie. But she knew wasn't being entirely fair to him. He has no idea what it is like to care for another person, to have them depend on you to survive in life, she thought. He's never had that kind of responsibility. Their relationship was more important to him than Amelia's safety and wellbeing. I lived without romance my whole life, Emma thought firmly, I can live without it now. For Amelia's sake.
Her heart felt heavy at that moment, despite the beautiful morning breaking all around her. Paul's companionship had been a tiny golden sun in her life. It was depressing to know that that sun had gone out and there was no going back. Nevertheless, Emma knew that she couldn't take back the knowledge she now possessed about the supernatural beings living amongst them. She decided it was time to have a chat with Billy and Ms. Lahote and find out their side of the story.
XXXX
"I'm glad you came, Emma" Billy said warmly, "I was worried we had seen the last of you and Amelia when Paul stopped by yesterday."
Emma's hands clasped around the hot mug of tea Ms. Lahote gently pushed into her hands, "I have to know more. How is this all possible?"
Ms. Lahote took a deep breath, "Well, that depends on what you believe. The old stories, as Billy would say here, describe the ancient history of the Spirit Walkers and their relationship with vampires. It dates back hundreds of years, but truthfully, it could go back further. We just don't have record of it," Her rocking chair squeaked gently as she rocked back and forth, "But I think a genetic mutation down the line enabled extraordinary abilities to come about. Perhaps the wolves and the vampires are not enemies made for each other, but simply the only beings strong enough to take down the other."
Billy scoffed, "Miriam, really, we clash like fire and ice. There is no way it was simply coincidence that our powers surfaced all those years ago. Wolves and vampires are natural enemies. That's why we have the treaty in the first place. Without it, we'll massacre each other."
"Can't there be peace? If the Cullens are willing to drink…animal blood," Emma shuddered, "Then they're safe, yes?" She interjected.
Billy sighed and poured himself another mug of tea, "Unfortunately, the treaty is always in a precarious state of equilibrium. The younger vampires provoke the ire of our younger pack members, and vice versa. With a great deal of luck and negotiation, those instances are usually subdued, but that's not always the case,"
"Bella's current entanglement with Edward Cullen has caused a great deal of pain in the pack. We strive to be guardians of our people, our culture, and human life in general. But her reckless decision to side with the vampires as a human not only endangers her, but everyone in this town."
"Is that why Paul called her a…whore?" Emma asked.
"Yes, Paul my idiot son always did have a crude mouth," Ms. Lahote said, rolling her eyes, "He feels rather strongly about Bella because before Edward, she was seeing another pack member, Jacob, Billy's son. He's run off because she chose Edward over him."
Emma blinked, "That's very dramatic. Was it serious?"
"To him it was. They've known each other since they were kids," Billy replied, "Now she's off and marrying a vampire. I'm fairly certain she wants to be one of them too."
"That's…that's insane," Emma shook her head. She set the tea mug onto the coffee table in front of her, "Doesn't she have to die to be a vampire? Why would she want that?"
"Love, dear. She's infatuated with Edward to point that she would kill herself for him. She almost proved it a few years ago," Ms. Lahote added, "But this is the kind of trouble that occurs when humans are introduced into our world. It's a secret for good reason."
Emma felt the sting of Ms. Lahote's remark, "I don't believe it's my fault for finding out when I was just trying to live my life. If it's such a big deal, Paul should never have gotten involved with me."
The sentence hung in the air and she could feel the pointed look Billy was throwing her way.
"He wasn't supposed to, was he?"
"No, hon. He has far too many anger issues to handle most humans, but you've proven yourself a worthy adversary," Ms. Lahote commented, "You are correct however, that this is all very dangerous territory that you've found yourself in now. I respect your decision to cut off ties with my son and continue your life with Amelia. But know this, although you might not want it, you have a place here in our pack. The knowledge you carry has to be monitored closely. We can't afford to let it slip into the wrong hands," Ms. Lahote patted her thigh gently, "Don't think of us as the bogeyman coming to get you in your sleep. We'd like to be family if you'll allow us."
Emma's eyes burned with unshed tears. She felt a lump form in her throat as a huge array of emotions welled up inside, "I'd appreciate it," She rasped.
"C'mere, Emma. Welcome to the pack!" Billy said as rolled over in his wheelchair for a hug. Emma felt hot tears spill down her face as she wrapped her arms around him. She knew that despite everything, her father would be proud of her.
XXX
Isabella Marie Swan
Edward Anthony Masen Cullen
Together With Their Families
Request the Honor of Your Presence
At the Celebration of Their Marriage
Saturday, the 13thof August
Two Thousand and Eleven
Five O'Clock in the Evening
420 Woodcroft Ave
Forks, WA
"Do we have to dress-up?"
Emma's fingers drifted over the card-stock invitation, feeling the engraved font and textured surface, "I guess so. I'll give Bella a call and see what the dress code is."
Amelia squealed, "Oh my gosh! I'm so excited. I'm totally going shopping with Kayla this weekend!"
Emma rolled her eyes, "Yes, but you are not spending $500 on a dress for a wedding that's not even yours."
"Spoilsport."
Amelia tugged on her sneakers and snagged her cleats off the table, "Be back in two hours!"
"Get a ride home with Jessie's Mom if you can! I don't want you walking around by yourself at sundown," Emma yelled as her sister ran out the door. A muffled response was her answer as the door slammed shut.
She smiled to herself. Amelia had made several new friends on her soccer team and was adjusting well now. The young girl looked forward to school and Emma did too. It would be nice to have a few more hours to herself now and then.
The doorbell rang. She quickly strode to door and flung it open.
"Ready to go?" Emily asked.
"Definitely. Let me grab my purse." Emma snatched her leather tote from the counter and the house keys as she followed Emily to her car. Over the last month, it had become a ritual to have Friday night dinners with the pack at Emily and Sam's place. Usually, Amelia would go to practice and get dropped off at the reservation around 6pm while Emma headed over early to help prep. Emily appreciated Emma's help. Preparing food for a dozen or so hungry humans was difficult enough, but for werewolves? Doubly so.
"Have you talked to Paul at all?"
Emma sighed, "A little. I just…it's hard to earn my trust back. He endangered Amelia, Emily."
"Don't you think you're being hard on him? He had no choice. It wasn't his secret to tell," Emily reminded gently.
"He shouldn't have gotten so entangled in our lives then. He had all the cards and chose not to play them," Emma said frustrated.
"What? You think a teenage boy is going to understand what it's like to care for a kid? They can't even care for themselves," Emily snorted.
"Even if I do forgive him for that, how do I forgive him for hurting me? There's no way I could stop him if he really wanted to cause us harm."
Emily readjusted her grip on the steering wheel before answering, "You'd have to trust him."
"Fuck," Emma muttered.
"You've seen us in action over the last month," Emily reminded her, "Paul may have more anger issues than most, but all of the shifters have the same capabilities that he has. The vamps are even worse."
Emma mulled over the last month. She had observed the pack's patrols and had had several more interactions with the Cullen family. Due to her increased curiosity and exposure, the pack had designated her cabin a stop during their rounds. Every night, their large furred bodies would pass underneath her window. She could hear their heavy pants and the rustle of the paws through the grass. Their presence had become a comfort to her as time had worn on, but as far as she knew, Paul was never one of the shifters to pass by.
"Is he going to be at dinner tonight?"
"Yes,"
"I'll talk to him," Emma stated, "but only a little bit."
"He misses you," Emily said softly.
"I miss him too."
Emily's car pulled into the driveway of the house and Emma found herself relaxing as she stepped out of the vehicle. Something about the fresh air in La Push never failed to soothe her anxious and tense nerves.
Once inside, she pulled on an apron and got to work. She had learned that baking was the easiest, simplest form of cooking she could perform. It was all about touch and taste and precision. As long as Emily set aside the right amounts of ingredients for her, she could mix, knead, and roll contentedly. Her hands enjoyed feeling the texture of the dough and she relished the labor of kneading it over time. The rhythmic motion allowed her mind to drift pleasantly, thinking of nothing at all.
A few hours passed and her trance was broken as Amelia and the other guests arrived.
"What'd you make?" An intrusive hand started to lift the cloth on the basket she was carrying. She slapped it away.
"Rolls, Seth. Go sit down." She said fondly.
He snatched one before she could grab his hand. Laughing, he found his seat at the dinner table situated between Embry and Quil. With a small smile, she set the basket down at the table and said firmly, "Do not touch until everyone has arrived, you hear me?"
"Oh yes, Great Mistress of Baked Goods!" Quil replied.
Embry scoffed, "No one thinks your jokes are funny, idiot."
"I think I'm hysterical," Quil said affronted, "Why I was just about to comment on how beautiful Amelia looks─" Embry cut him off with a hand clapped over his mouth. He gave Emma a sheepish grin, "I don't know why he'd say something like that."
Emma raised an eyebrow, "You better not."
Emily set down another dish on the table, "Alright everyone, find a seat. I'm sure you're all starving."
Relieved to be spared a conversation about her sister with Embry, she whipped off her apron and sat down next to the boy. Food began to be passed around the table and as she accepted the bowl from her left, her hand brushed against another's.
"Sorry," He muttered.
Paul, she thought instantly.
"Not a problem," She replied sweetly. Internally, her mind was racing for the right words to say. She was never very good with confrontations.
"How are you?" She asked finally, as the dinner conversations around her picked up.
"I've been better," He said gruffly.
"Oh."
"It's been rather boring around here," He said, "Without you."
"I've been here. You haven't." Emma replied tartly.
"Just not where you could see me. Thought you wanted it that way?" He said lightly.
"After you revealed the biggest lie of the century to my face? Yeah I wanted it that way."
He shifted in his seat, "I got angry and…protective."
"Weren't doing much 'protecting' when you hurt me," She scoffed.
"That's why the lie was there to begin with! To protect you stupid humans!" Paul said accusatorily. His voice had carried rather loudly and the table quieted.
"Eat!" He snapped, and the pack ate in silence for a few moments. The tension hung in the air awkwardly.
"Damn it," He growled. He stood up angrily and grabbed her by the arm.
"What the fuck, Paul?!" Emma demanded.
"Come with me. We're not doing this in front of my entire family."
They walked outside and slammed the door behind them. The sun was setting, orange-red light cast an angry glow over the house. Emma stood arms crossed near the door.
"This better not take long,"
"We could've done this weeks ago, if you hadn't been so stubborn."
She rolled her eyes, "Sorry for overreacting when you basically told me werewolves and vampires are real, and oh by the way, you are one!"
"You never gave me a chance to explain!"
"I didn't have to. There's no rule that says I have to let you do anything, Paul. This is real life. It's not fair, it's not fun, it's not easy," Emma said harshly, "I am sick of people taking their lives and their safety for granted."
"I was trying to protect you!"
Her blood heated and an angry flush rose in her face,
"Grow up, Paul" She spat, "This isn't about protection. You were selfish and brought Amelia and I into a world we didn't not ask to be a part of. Accept the consequences of your actions!"
Paul started furiously pacing on the porch. He ran his hands angrily through his hair, "You can't blame me for everything. Yes, I hurt you. But I never endangered Amelia. You should blame yourself by interacting with the Cullens! I told you to stay away from them!"
"Jesus Christ, Paul, that's all you can say?" Emma groaned. She shook her head in exasperation, "You obviously don't understand what it's like to lose someone you love. Amelia and I have nothing but each other. She is everything to me. I'd die for her, do you understand?"
He slammed a hand against railing, "Do you think you have a monopoly on pain and grief, Emma?" He demanded, "Do you think that somehow you are the only one who cares about another person? That you are the only who has lost someone they loved?"
Paul moved closer to her, towering over her small frame, "Newsflash, Emma. My Dad left my Mom when I was just a kid. I know what it's like to lose a parent. I know what it's like to be responsible for another human being. I picked up the pieces he left behind and took care of Mom for years. She wasn't always the strong woman behind the diner counter you see every day,"
Emma blinked back tears, a large lump settling in her throat, "The reasons behind my behavior are exactly the same as yours. I just…" He tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear, "I just made a mistake. I went too far. But you of all people should understand why I did it." He said softly.
"How old were you?" She asked gently.
"Eleven. Just started middle school."
Emma gnawed on her lower lip, feeling Paul's proximity all too keenly. As much as she wanted to forgive him and find compassion in his story, she wasn't ready to. He was dangerous. The pack was dangerous. And yet, she knew she was in too deep. She had enough information about werewolves and vampires to make herself a threat, but not enough to survive on her own. There was no running away from Forks. She needed the pack's protection and their trust in order to have any semblance of a life. And to have that completely, she had to make her peace with Paul.
Emma took a deep breath, "Paul…I…things can't go back to the way they were," She said softly, "I can't forgive you for crushing my hand, but my life and Amelia's life are tied to the pack's now. I want to make the best of it. I'd like to learn more about the pack, the werewolves, the vampires, all of it. We can start talking again…but I can't have you hanging around the cabin. I still need some distance from you." She said with finality.
He mulled over her words for a minute and then said, "I can accept that for now," His hand brushed over hers and he threaded their fingers together, "I wanted so much more for us, you know that right?"
His face had moved within inches of hers, his lips hovering over hers. She could feel the caress of his warm breath on her cheek while his thumb gently stroked circles on the back of her hand. A part of her wanted to desperately give in and forget all about his abilities, the Cullens, Bella Swan. She wanted for once to do something she desired without consequences. The other part of her, the infallibly dedicated part of her, refused to put Amelia in any more danger than she was already in.
She shrugged out of his hand and took two steps backwards. She felt her back hit the edge of the porch railing.
"I wished we could have been," She sighed, "But that's impossible."
The door to the house slammed behind her as she returned to the pack dinner.
XXXX
"I'm not made of glass, you know."
Emma paused at the door to her bedroom. She turned towards Amelia who stood across the hall at the door to her own room, "What do you mean by that?"
She could feel Amelia's exasperated eyeroll, "I know you think you have to protect me all the time. I know you are upset at Paul because of it," Amelia drawled, "but you don't have to be. It's not his fault that we picked this supernatural hellhole, okay?"
Emma felt a prick of anger at her little sister's cavalier attitude, "I'm doing my best, Amelia. My job is to protect you and I am going to do just that."
"How?" Amelia demanded, "By shipping me off to soccer practice? School next? Never letting anyone else in? Paul has done more for us than Mom did after Dad died!"
"Don't you dare talk about Mom like that!" Emma snapped, "You have no idea what it's like—"
"To what? Have someone you care about die? Keep on acting like everything is normal when it's not? Come on, Emma, I am not some stupid eight year old you can lecture!" Amelia yelled.
"Where the hell is all this coming from? You've been happy since we got here." Emma questioned.
"I'm a damn good actress when I want to be, "Amelia hissed, "I've been trying to make you happy, trying to be a good sister and do what you asked of me. But I can't anymore. Not when you are going to ruin the best thing that's happened to us."
"What are you talking about?" Emma demanded.
"The pack. You are going to run away again. Just like you did after Mom died. And you are going to take me with you away from our new friends, our new family. All because you are so fucking scared of losing me. I am so sick," Amelia choked, "of living like I'm going to die any minute."
Emma's eyebrows drew together, "I can't lose you too, Amelia. I just want you to be safe…"
"Emma! What's the point of being safe," Amelia said sarcastically, "if it means you can't do anything or see anyone? I just want to be normal. To have sleepovers with my teammates, to hang out at the mall, or go on dates with Embry…"
"I want you to do all those things too, well maybe not date Embry, but the point is," Emma rested her forehead against the door jam, "I want you to live a long happy life. Without werewolves or vampires or any other thing that goes bump in the night."
"Emma, I can have a happy life if you just let me live it, even if we do have to deal with werewolves and vampires and stuff. Please, don't make us leave Forks," Amelia pleaded, "I'll be okay, I promise."
Emma let loose a breath, feeling the threat of tears prick the edges of her eyes, "I know you will. You've been really strong throughout all this, huh?" She gave a shaky laugh, "I'm trying my best to be a good sister and I guess parent now. I just don't know what I'm doing," Her voice cracked, "But I know that no matter how strange and dangerous this situation becomes, we've got a family here with the pack. For better or for worse."
There was a pause and then she heard her sister's feet cross to her and lithe arms wrapped around her from behind. Amelia's head rested gently on her shoulder, "You're pretty stupid sometimes. You don't let anyone get close to you and you can't see what's right in front of you. Literally." Emma chuckled at that. "And you've got a stick up your ass most of the time, but I think you are a pretty good sister. Really." Emma squeezed Amelia's hand. "You don't have to replace Mom, you know?"
Emma sighed, "I know."
"I love you."
"Love you too, Amelia."
