Disclaimer: SM owns it all.

I wrote most of this in French class on cue cards when I should have been practicing my speech on Thomas More. And also in math class. We're doing circles and circomfrances. Is it just me or does that word sound like it's connected to some creepy prophecy? 'Cause that's what I think of. Ok on with the chapter!!

(A great quotation that I made up while thinking of prophecies and circomfrances:

Not the sparckliest vampire in the sunlight are we?)

Chapter 9

I looked at the old antique clock again. We had been in the dining room for 2 and a half hours now. I looked down at Bella who was watching the rain come down then at Alice who was planning her next shopping spree in her head. I sighed. Again.

Harriet leaned over the table and slid some money to Helen. She took it happily. From their minds I could see that they had been betting on how many times I had sighed. I saw Jasper chuckle.

I decided to tune back into the conversation.

"You have no right," Carlisle was saying. "To doom all of us just for some silly unneeded pranks!"

"Oh come on!" Emmett moaned. We all knew Carlisle had won but Henri Thomas and Emmett were still fighting.

"No more! Do. You. Hear. Me?" Carlisle demanded. No one was really listening anymore. Not even Esme or Catherine.

Looked at the rest of the table. Luanne was looking at her features in a small hand mirror. Helen was watching a show on her portable DVD player as well as Jasper and Miley. George Karl was reading and the rest seemed to just be alone with their thoughts.

"Oh wait to suck the fun out of everything!" Henri Thomas grumbled.

"Pun intended?" Helen asked looking up from the screen as she said it.

"Intended," he answered quickly before turning back to Carlisle. "So how many people have they killed?" he asked curiously.

Alice interrupted Carlisle by cackling and saying "Jazz sometimes you are too evil!"

"Why what's he doing?" Carlisle was suddenly nervous.

I looked into his mind and rolled my eyes. I pulled Bella onto my lap and said, "He's making Aro think that he is in love with Caius."

The room exploded into laughter except for Esme, Carlisle and Catherine. They just shook their heads.

"Ok, ok. No more! I have had enough. They have killed hundreds Henri Thomas. I think it's for the best that you remember that," Carlisle said finally dismissing us.

We all got up to leave. "Rosalie?" Carlisle said.

Rosalie jumped up and dragged a very willing Emmett off to their bedroom for a 'chat' as Carlisle was hoping. Catherine got up and yanked an unwilling-to-move Henri Thomas off.

"How long do you think the silence will last?" I asked Bella as we sat on the couch in the living room.

"An hour maybe two. What about you?" she asked.

"Twenty minutes if we're lucky," I said in a joking tone. She smiled and laughed.

I started playing with her hair as she read.

I sat there happily with my Bella for around an hour.

But naturally the bliss was interrupted. I heard a voice using a fake Irish accent upstairs ranted I tuned in on time to hear, "Oh and tasted excellent!"

I walked upstairs to see Catherine leaning against the doorframe with her head in her hand. She was moaning. I turned to see Henri Thomas wearing very old clothing. Two Volturi guard members were standing a few feet away. They looked they were about to kill him.

"Too much Henri not enough Thomas," Catherine was mumbling.

Carlisle was upstairs in an instant. "What's going on?" he demanded.

"I'm playing pretend. Lord. Not the sparckliest vampire in the sunlight are we?" Henri Thomas answered.

I walked back downstairs as I heard Carlisle apologize to the Volturi.

"What happened?" Bella asked. Alice, Esme, little Alice and George Karl had joined her in the living room.

"Henri Thomas dressed up and acted like someone the Volturi killed around 220 years ago," I said as I sat down next to George Karl and Bella.

"Oh no! How upset were they?" Esme asked nervously.

"There were only two of them," I said shaking my head.

"I heard they are planning on cutting this visit short and leaving tomorrow," George Karl said without looking up from the book that he was reading.

"That would solve everyone's problems," Alice said with a sigh.

"I don't think Aro has endured enough Helen yet," I said and chuckled.

"Maybe we can let her use that purple hair dye on him. I mean it would stop her from begging us to be her guinea pigs if she used it on him," little Alice suggested.

I laughed. "It's a good idea but I don't think she could," I sighed just thinking about how fast they'd leave.

"I don't know. Helen is extremely slim and sly. Not to mention she was a track and field champ when she was still living," George Karl said.

"I told you not everything she said to him went in one ear and out the other," little Alice said in an exasperated voice to Alice.

Alice just shrugged and said, "If we get it into her head do you think she'd do it?"

"Well you tell us. You are the psychic," Bella said letting out a small giggle.

"Esme why do you keep shaking your head like that?" George Karl asked. I had forgotten she was there. I looked up at Esme she was thinking about our immaturity as she shook her head mechanically.

"I don't think you should embarrass Carlisle any more then you have already have," she said after she had sighed at our childish ways.

"But we won't be embarrassing Carlisle," my son said as he walked in. "We will be embarrassing the Volturi. He sat down at the piano.

"You heard what he said. This is not negotiable," Esme said sternly and with that she got up and walked away.

We sat there silently for a few minutes.

"We'll start hinting tonight," Alice said. There was a murmur of agreement.

I laughed and pulled Bella onto my lap as the talk turned to other things besides getting Helen to dye Aro of the Volturi's hair purple.

That was NOT the last chapter. Second last I think…

On another note I have been considering writing a Twilight Battlestar Galactica crossover. I won't replace cylons with vampires if I do. And yes I am fully aware of how big a nerd I am.

Please review!

Major Grai