WELL THIS TOOK A WHILE: Yes, in case you haven't heard or was wondering why this story "stopped", it was because I was working on some other projects. I have two WIPs(one half-way finished but fell into limbo and the other.....Nowhere close) and I also decided to take up the 100 themes challenge so....Yeah....I'm kinda crazy like that. And I uploaded a piece of junk that was completely unrelated to this....So I won't be suprised if you guys all want to hit me over the head. However, as crazy as it seems, it is hard for me to poke fun at Karen. Even after revamping the old piece, I still feel like it could be way better. If you want to see what I mean, I'll give you the link to the original which was posted on deviant-art.
I'd also like to give a huge thanks to everyone who supported this or the origional copy. Who'd have thought that I could have made it all the way to the bachelorettes? I know that I didn't and I'm the writer. Thanks once again to all of my wonderful reviewers. You guys are the only reason that I've gotten so far. Each of your laughs have motivated me. Along with all of the virtual gifts. Thanks to Trying To Breakaway for the cookies. Everyone has been so nice. I must be doing a good job. And now, a brief word from someone who isn't sponsoring this.
Also, don't be afraid to be a critic. Flaming is saying that this is horrid without giving a reason. Pointing out a flaw is not a flame.
On a completely different note, I still do not own Harvest Moon, Script Frenzy (or her sister project: NaNoWriMo), Know Your Stars, or sanity.
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The Eighth Victim: Karen
Jack swore that he was born under a dark star or something like that because he had the worst luck out of anyone he knew. First, he is beaten up; then, when he recovers, a boat falls on him. Since the sprites that usually helped him with work were out, he calls up an old friend. He hobbles down to the dock to greet her but winds up back in that torture chamber again with his friend only to find out that that she is hooking him up with the mayor. Of all the people in Mineral Town, she had to pick the mayor.
Oh how he wanted to beat her up for even thinking that...But he needed her help. Besides, even if he were in perfect condition, she would still win.
However, it didn't matter either way since Claire was still stuck in that room. Using the light from the two overhead light bulbs, she sketched out wedding plans. As Chef set up the equipment, Hoggy and Bold tried to sneak a glance. Regretfully, Hoggy was knocked out when he accidentally got some crumbs on the sketchbook. Bold was not eating anything and therefore was able to get see the starts of a wedding for Jack and the Mayor. This news was of course retold to Chef who tried to stifle his laughter in order to properly do the disclaimer segment.
"Welcome to the eighth episode of "Unnamed Program". We're actually a little surprised we made it all the way to the bachelorettes without an angry mob coming after us. And now, a brief word from someone who isn't sponsoring this," he said, giggles sneaking their way in at various intervals.
Claire looked up from her work and explained in a monotone voice, "The author does not own Natasume, Know Your Stars, Microsoft, or the Microsoft Word paperclip. That's all."
"TO THE EPISODE!" cried Bold before he gallantly ran into a wall.
"Ouch," Claire said for him as it is hard to convey your pain when the world around you fades to black...Or maybe that was the fade out.
The late night hours at the bar were really getting to Doug. His daughter was right; he needed more sleep. He could have sworn that Karen had been sitting right next to Duke, could have sworn that she asked him for her usual drink. But there she wasn't. He set the drink down, where it was immediately taken by Duke, and began looking for Karen. The girl was nowhere to be found. So much gold, all down the drain. Except, in this case, it was down a portal and into THE ROOM!!!
Karen, needless to say, was most certainly not thrilled with the circumstances. The foolish being that interrupted her nightly drinking would suffer greatly.
Upon seeing the furry of an alcoholic scorned, Kappa and the sprites began to wonder if this was a good idea.
"Um...Maybe we...well...um...just kill her...I mean...It's not like anyone would miss her," Bold said; for someone who spent a lot of time speaking in an outdoor voice, he sure could do a good Timid impression.
Kappa sighed and shook his head. "That would cheer everyone up...We decided to do this in order to humiliate them."
"Well...It...um...would be humiliating...to watch....er...Rick...try to find another girlfriend," replied the real Timid.
Before any of the others could agree or disagree with Timid's statement, Karen yelled, "Is this what Rick was moping about at the bar? Never knew that wimp was afraid of the dark."
Chef glanced down at where the fuming girl stood, "Our reputation is at stake. We must do this. That...And the tape has been recording for a while now so we better do something or else we're going to look like cowards."
The others nodded and headed towards their places.
Meanwhile, Karen decided to search for an exit but all she found was the corner that Cliff had been hiding in a couple of episodes back. It was quite comfortable, but had an alcohol content of zero and provided no means of escape so Karen moved on. She had barely taken a few steps away from the afore mentioned corner when a voice proclaimed, "Speaking of Rick, Karen treats him to wine so she can steal all his money."
She glared at the ceiling, "Lies. I only treat him cause he has no money to treat me."
"Mainly because you take all of his money," the voice retorted.
"He doesn't have any money to take to begin with!" Karen raged.
"And you do?" the voice questioned.
"Yeah. From working at the store," Karen replied as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Not so much working as pretending to be Jeff's daughter in order to get everything at half price," the voice said with an invisible nod.
"Why would ANYONE in their sober or even drunk mind pretend to be related to THAT looser?" Karen yelled, surprisingly without breaking anything.
"In order to buy items at half price," the voice reiterated.
"You're sooo clever," Karen said sarcastically.
"Clever enough to know that the only awards you have ever won include 'Worst Cooking', 'Most Annoying Female In Mineral Town', and 'Best Drinker'."
"Well, at least I have more then you! You probably only have 'Largest Death Wish'!" Karen retaliated.
"Well, you've already murdered Mary's younger brother Mathew because she refused to be your mind slave," the voice said sadly.
"I'm not a murder...But I might become one if you keep talking!" Karen shouted, and this time she had a fierce glare to back it up.
Aqua decided that it would be a great time to wrap it up, "Well now you know more about Karen. She only pretends to be Jeff's daughter so she can get items at half-price, using the money that she stole from Rick. She is the most annoying female in Mineral Town; and she can't cook but she can drink. She can murder you with a glare and killed Mathew because Mary wouldn't be her mind slave."
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Lone Kunoichi: Sorry for offending anyone's favorite characters. I hope that this is remotely funny. Next time will be Elli...Hopefully, that one won't take as long. Also, I apologize for uploading non-Harvest Moon stuff. I have also gotten into Hetalia recently and am attempting to write a few fanfics involving that. No worries, I shall soon realize that I'm much better at writing Harvest Moon fanfics and return to this.
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Flames are used to create cool backdrops for next episode!
