A/N: HI BITCHES! New update since my girls are over and we're in outerspace drinking, we've been dancing to Jeremih & 50 cent's song, which is my current obsession "Down on me" Seriously who doesn't wanna just break someone off when that song comes on… I feel like we just had an orgy the way we we're dancing up on each other… I love the way you grind with that booty on me. Shorty you a dime, why you looking lonely. We'll buy another round and it's all on me, as long as I'm around, put it down on me. Put it down on me, down, down on me. Don't throw it off the mound, show me how it's gon be. Girl all I really want is you down on me. Put it down on me. AHHH! How does that song not get you hyped and ready to dance? I love it! So my next lap dance song! Ahahaha part of this is based off a conversation with this guy.
LEATHERnGOLDlover: Nice house parties are always dope… last one tho we got shotguns out in our faces from the cops… anyways thnx for the review lover.
Greatpretender27: Mila is a GOD! Dude that's so awesome that you love baseball too! AWW man we should totally hang and play! Mariners do suck, I'm from the city of the champs! And Yes Yankees suck! Thnx babe.
Fly like a Gmen: DUDE UR A BOSS LIKE CODY ROSS! OMG THAT WAS ME AND MY GIRLS ANTHEM DURING THE WORLD SERIES GAMES! You're fucking off the hook for your name! SF GIANTS BABY! Yeah Bieber and Selena are no bueno! No I didn't know I was amazeballs. I always thought I was amazedicks!
Ad3n: You got it dude (Michelle Tanner voice)! Dude baseball's awesome! Give it a shot! LOL… we'll see what's mysterious about the glove soon… I think… maybe… I just blow and think of ideas then. Thnx for the review boo.
Camihere: Baseball's awesome! I don't wanna learn soccer… baseball is the All-American sport! And if it's soccer, I gotta go for… you're gonna be pissed… Spain! Don't yell at me I'm part Spanish I gotta go for them! Shut it Brazilian! Of course I rock… you're bed… ahahaha JK love you baby!
Not a belieber: Yeah she's complicated… Avril Lavigne would not like her. Thanx I've always wanted to be epic O.o …. So this is what it feels like… AHHH! Yeah def. no on Sel and Biebs knocking boots…
Mell23: Thanx hunn YOU'RE awesome! This chapter might confuse you as well… do you want it to be a sibling died?
Full360-2b-me: Aww yeah go on with ur bad self mamas! ROCKSTAR LIFESTYLE! She doesn't play softball, she's an admire-er of the sport. Hell yes for rollercoasters… HANDS UP EVERYONE! Just don't be drunk… shit I wish Sel was my girl, I'd ditch my hoes inna minute… yeah screw Biebs.
RiddleMeThisBatman: DUDE YOU ARE THE FUCKING SHIT AND THE PISS! Awesome you knew the Half Baked reference! Awesome movie! Aww shit don't get me started on my rapping skillz babe, I will go 8 mile on a Papa Doc muthafucka! Ahahaha AWWW I LOVE YOU FOR KNOWING THAT!
Azrael-Haywood: Nice! What's up in New Zealand? Aww how could I not update soon with that cute little pout and sexy eyes? Here you are babe!
This chapter is dedicated to my lil breath of fresh air Papacito! LUUUHHHH UUUU PAPI!
(Mitchie POV)
O yeah bitchfuck it's lunch time! Meaning is Mitchie's daily dose of Alex time… speaking of Alex where the infant rhinoceros is that sexy piece of ass?...
"Dude Alex isn't here." What the mutherfreak fuck Troy, people need to stop pointing shit out, out loud. I'm not the one pointing out that you we're just seen at Vanessa's house even though y'all supposedly broke up.
"O really, hadn't noticed."
"Yeah, sure quit pulling my dick Mitchie, we know you're looking for her." Did this muthsuckin horsefucker just say I was doing something to his dick, honey my gag reflex is short.
"Well you know, anorexia is becoming an issue these days and uhh… I just wanted to make sure she was eating and not on like a ballerina diet and yeah… 'cause you know she's looking skinny, like if we checked her in at the airport, we'd probably have to put a fragile sticker on her." WTF did I just say? O fuck he's looking at me like 'What the fuck are you smoking?' and Shane's looking at me like 'Where the fuck can I get some?'
"Dude what the fuck are you talking about, anyways, she's here but she's with Taylor, I think Taylor's sad about her break up with Jake so, they're probably fucking."
"WHAT!" I will Kanye that hoe faster than you can say Swift.
"Ahahaha dude you should've seen the look on your face. I'm just fucking with you, there probably just having one of their talks, you know girl BFF bullshit. Taylor's probably bitching about Jake or something." I don't know what she's bitching about he kind of looked like a broke back cowboy. Plus let's face it Taylor looks like she's looking for Prince Charming not the Prince of Persia. Great here comes The Scene.
"Hey do you guys know where Alex is, we run a new song by her." Geez do these guys even go to this school, WTF.
"No, sorry."
"Cool thanx." Great . O fuck is that Mr. Iglesias coming this way. I swear on flaming dragon balls, I didn't cheat on my Spanish test. O he better not be trying to Baila with my senorita.
"Hey Mitchie, have you seen Alex around?" Eww WTF dude you're a teacher, puto.
"No I haven't sorry Mr. Iglesias." But I will now be checking out .gov. thanx.
"Alright thanks anyways Mitchie." Sure creep. O hell no, who the fuck is this now, this kid with the neck twitch.
"Hey Justin."
"Hey Mitchie do you know when Alex is gonna get here?" No, do you know when you're puberty might hit? Go somewhere else kid, Alex would be better off with me, my twitter followers wouldn't send her death threats.
"Nope, no idea, sorry." Yeah and if I even see her glance at you tonight at the People's Choice Awards I will hunt you down and then you better Pray.
"Alright well see ya around." Damn I should have told him to Teach Me How to Dougie before that. Fuck. O well maybe my Camp Rock mom could teach it to me.
"Hey Mitchie-"
"I DON'T KNOW, ASK TAYLOR!" O shitfuck! Where did that come from? Jizzbucket everyone's looking at me like I just yelled out Carter should be homecoming princess. Monkeyfucker…
"Yo Mitch, what the fuck was that? I was just gonna ask if you we're gonna finish your fries." Shit Nate, where the fuck did you come from? I thought you were still with the Administration.
"Yeah, sure go head."
"So dude we heard Alex took you to play baseball."
"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"
"So what's up dude, did you hit a homerun?" WTF assholes I'm a lesbian, not a dude. I'm still a female and I'm not going to degrade another female with this macho bullshit. But, that bitch can get it anytime she wants. Sexy little piece of Latina heat.
"What? No we just talked and stuff." But the night before I drank that bitch.
"Dude you're so in. What's your next move? Dude you actually have a shot at her! We didn't even know she's into baseball, I mean we knew she was good with bats but we didn't know she was good with balls too." Shut the flying pigfuck up Shane. Do you even know where you are right now?
"I don't know, what should I do?"
"Dude come on think. You're a girl, you should know what girls want, just think what you would want." Waffles with whip cream served on Alex's tight body followed by crazy monkey morning sex followed by a fruit roll up?
"Maybe I'll get her flowers after school. Do you guys know what her favorite flower is?" Why the fuck are they smiling at me all creepy like I just walked into the men's bathroom.
"I don't know, why don't you ask Taylor ahahaha." Doucheslore fucks… what assholes… Hold me back…
"O what Mitchie, do you think Taylor's infringing on your Lesbian relationship with Alex? Ahahahaha…" Fuck you, you little tree huggin ass Nate. At least I didn't go to my ex's hometown for New Year's to find out she's out on some yacht with her underage boyfriend. BELIEB THAT!
Fuck Alex better like these bitchhole flowers. That old lady told me nobody can resist yellow roses, I swear if that woman is wrong I will run up in there and bend all the stems on her flowers… then what ya gonna do?
"Hey Mitchie, what are you doing here?" I came to eat *wink* "Why are you winking?" fuck was I actually winking I thought it was one of those times I was just thinking it but didn't actually do it… son of a cunt.
"O I thought I had something in my eye, uhm so you weren't at school today, so I thought maybe I'd bring you some flowers to cheer you up." Boom, I can lie!
"You thought I was sick? Uh huh so why flowers? Why not soup?" Damn obviously this bitch isn't Rihanna and she doesn't love the way I lie.
"Well soup doesn't make you smile, flowers do. So I thought a smile is the first step to feeling better." O yeah she's smiling HOOK, LINE & SINKER! That's right Mitchie reel her in…
"Smooth, so how'd you know yellow roses are my favorite?" Yes they are O hell yes old florist lady, I'm gonna get laid, I should hook her up with gramps!
"I saw them and thought of you."
"Nice so what else do you see and think of me?" My hand inching it's way closer to my Victoria Secret's.
"Anytime I see something beautiful. So why weren't you at school?" Bitch you already know, but she doesn't know that… O good job Mitchie using your noggin, don't tell Disney I said that.
"O me and Taylor were just talking, her and Jake broke up. But knowing Taylor she'll be fine, she'll just write a song or something about him and get it all out and then she'll be fine." Yeah she should get payback and get with his brother, that Peter Parker looking dude.
"O I see, so what are you doing now?" Please say Kama Sutra! Come on what's the square root of 69… ATE SOMETHING!... I thought it was good…
"Just hanging out, about to watch the People's Choice Awards, what's up you wanna come in, and yell and bitch with me about who won and who should've won." Aww she's so adorable… hmm… do I wanna stay and watch her get worked up about the show and at the same time watch Selena Gomez and the Scene perform… hell fucking yes!
"Sure I'm not doing anything." Not yet anyways…
"Look yay! Taylor Swift won!" O course she's gonna win, has she ever lost? Well at least this time her speech didn't get cut off, he didn't even let her finish like he said he would.
"That's awesome!" The only reason I don't mind is because lil Sel and lil Lena are just as happy as their momma is bouncing around in family filled fun on this bed.
"So who do you think is gonna win Best Breakout artist? I want Selena Gomez and the Scene to win!" Of course, I hope Demi's watching.
"I don't know Bruno Mars is pretty good."
"Are you saying you'd rather have Bruno Mars win?" Shit she looks offended like I just said well someone looks awfully tan, probably from laying around on that fucking dicksucking yacht in the Caribbean.
"I'm just saying who else would catch a grenade for me?"
"You're such a dork. Well as long as it's not Bieber."
"You don't have Bieber Fever?"
"He's adorable, like little brother adorable, not like I'd date you." Mmm hmm heard that before.
"So have you ever been in love?" Where the fuck did that come from? Bitch rewind, rewind… ugh wrong time for my powers not to be working…
"Of course I'm in love constantly."
"Constantly?"
"Yeah, there's always something to love in the world. There's something I love about everyone. Love is all around us. Love doesn't leave people out, people leave love it, it's not something you go looking for because you can't see it, it's not tangable, but being in love is different, being in love requires you to not be afraid to fall without a safety net."
"So if I'm not looking I'll find it?"
"Yeah, know why? Falling is the result of not looking. Love is blind, Michelle." Well in that case no staring contest starting now! "We all fuck up in life and we're all unsure but fucking up only shows you how to get it right and being unsure only shows you what a sure thing is. Love is undefined, it's like the word perfect, everyone has their own definition of what perfect is, you just have to find that one person who's definition of perfect is you." Wait has she said yet if she's ever been in love yet, I'm confused as Demi Lovato wondering why Ashley was with them on tour, when she wasn't a part of it.
"You know what I love about you…" Fuck where am I going with this? "Because you have this fuck it attitude about you, it's not because you don't care, it's because you realize there's other shit to care about than being stuck on one idea, that'll eventually get solved." Aww yeah! Bitches and hoes Mitchie ain't so stupid now is she? Go girl!
I don't know what I said but the next thing I knew her lips we're on mine and holy dickhair we're they nice and plump… open up I'm diving my tongue in you… my tongue's so long I can dial with it if I hold my cell between my ear and shoulder… mmm fuck… this shirt needs to come off. WTF is this a Power Rangers shirt she has on? I'm about to go go Power Rangers her ass! IT'S MUTHAFUCKIN MORPHIN'TIME HOE! O yeah give same space and let me just rip this little ranger up…
"OMG Michelle you ripped my necklace off!" Fuck you materialistic sloreshit…
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I'll buy you a new one." Fuck she was a Power ranger just a second ago now this bitch has turned into a fucking Transformer. Where's Megan Fox because it's a fucking slip and slide down there.
"You can't just buy memories Michelle. Get out." O hell no I am not Jazz you can't just Uncle Phil my ass and tell me to leave your house.
"I'm sorry Lexy."
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND NEVER CALL ME LEXY AGAIN! GET OUT!" Well fuck you ain't gotta tell me twice…
WHAT THE SKITLLE JIZZLE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?
CONGRATS TO SELENA GOMEZ ON HER PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARD!REVIEW HOES! I LOVE YOU LITTLE FUCKTARDS!
