Castles In The Sand
The mood between David and Mary Margaret had shifted drastically since their playful escapade earlier in the water. Mary Margaret had tried to make small talk during breakfast and the subsequent clean-up, but David remained aloof. He commented only when he had to, most often with one word answers.
She knew that they couldn't keep on like this. They were going to have to talk about it, get it out it the open. Ignoring the feelings between them was only serving to make things more awkward. Maybe the only thing keeping them hanging on to each other, was the fact that they had never verbally broken their ties. She had finally convinced herself to bring it up, when David stood up and began walking off.
"Hey, where are you going?" She stood up as she addressed him. She couldn't let him walk away. She was afraid that if she didn't talk to him now, she would lose her nerve.
"I'm going to go for a walk. I've been wanting to check out the Island a little more."
Mary Margaret knew, by the way that he was shifting his weight around nervously, that it was just an excuse. He couldn't even meet her eyes. It was obvious that he didn't want to check out the Island. He wanted to get away from her. She wasn't going to let him get away that easily.
"Do you mind if I tag along?" She asked him, trying to keep her voice as light and jovial as possible.
"Actually, I think I'd rather go by myself," he said still not looking at her. In fact, now he was intently picking at the bark of the tree next to him, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.
She gathered up her courage. "David, I think maybe we should talk," she said rather firmly.
She saw a flash of shock and fear cross his features, before he just as quickly masked his expression again. "I promised we would talk about leaving the Island, and we will. I was hoping that looking around the Island a little more will help with a decision."
"I meant us David. We need to talk about us.'
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"We need to discuss what happened two years ago. We need closure."
"You're engaged to be married to someone else, that isn't enough closure for you?"
She had to work to not explode in anger at his comment. He said it like she was the one who had left him. She took a deep breath and counted to three before answering. "The obvious tension between us proves it isn't. David, please talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about," David mumbled, his back already turned to her, as he walked away.
Mary stood there, not even trying to hide the tears, as she watched him walk away. This was not at all how she pictured finally confronting him. She had thought about it many times. Most of the time, she envisioned herself yelling at him, finally releasing all the hurt and anger that she had buried deep in her heart. At first, she had wanted to hurt him as bad as he had hurt her. Over time, she had just wanted an explanation. She wanted to know why. She knew a small piece of the story, but not enough to give her the answers that she so desperately needed. She had not been brave enough to ask years ago, when she had the opportunity. Now it might be too late.
After David walked away from her, he wandered aimlessly around the Island. He had been shocked when Mary Margaret said they should talk, though he probably should have sensed it coming. The tension between them was just too much. Even in the moments that they had managed to look past it to have some fun, it was always there just underneath the surface.
He owed her an explanation. He knew that now. He had honestly thought at the time that he was doing what was best for her. He was giving her the freedom to be with Frank, to please her father. He had assumed at the time that her feelings for him weren't as strong as his for her. He thought he would be the only one living with a broken heart. The worst part in this mess was that he couldn't shake the thought that at the time, she had actually loved him, not Frank. If he would have stayed, they might be together. Now it was too late.
He found her later on the beach. Her eyes were red, and her cheeks splotchy, a sign that she had been crying. She was putting the finishing touches on a sand castle she had built. He approached her cautiously, aware she was probably mad at him for walking away earlier. She looked up at him briefly, before returning her attention to smoothing the walls of her castle. David sat down next to her.
"That's a pretty impressive looking sand castle."
Mary Margaret didn't respond, she didn't even look his way.
"Mary, I'm sorry."
"Go away, David."
"Please, let me explain."
She looked at him, venom in her eyes. "Oh, so now you want to talk?"
"I know that we need to talk, that I owe you an explanation. I just needed some time to gather my thoughts."
Mary Margaret stood up abruptly, her fists clenched at her sides, all self-control gone. "Two years isn't enough time? Well, guess what? You're too late. I don't need an explanation, and frankly I no longer care what you have to say."
She let out a scream then, as two years of pent up anger released out of her. She kicked at the sandcastle, scattering sand everywhere. David jumped into action. He stood and wrapped his arms around her from behind, begging her to stop.
"Let me go," she yelled. "Please, just let me go and go away."
David refused to let go. She fought him for a few moments before giving in. She collapsed in his arms as sobs wracked her body. His arms were the only thing keeping her on her feet. He turned her around to face him, and she buried her head on his chest. He tightened his grip around her waist as he repeated over and over how sorry he was, and how it was going to be okay.
It didn't take long for Mary Margaret's sobs to subside, and embarrassment to take over as she realized that she was being held and comforted by David. He felt her body stiffen. She pushed him away as she backed up beyond his reach.
"Mary Margaret," he said with a voice full of sorrow. He moved forward and attempted to place a hand on her cheek.
She pushed his hand away. "Stop. I'm fine. I don't need your pity."
"That's not what this is. I want to make this better. You're not fine and you don't have to lie to me."
"Why not. That's what you did isn't it? You lied to me. I waited for you for over an hour that night, as I sent my family ahead without me. It was an important night for my father, and I wasn't there because of you. I had to deal with pity from my friends, and snide remarks from my parents."
"I know, and I'm so sorry. I can explain. I wanted to come. I was driving home that night, when I got into an accident. I ended up in the hospital. I wanted to call you Mary Margaret, I promise. My phone was destroyed in the wreck and I didn't know your number."
David watched her closely, trying to gauge how she was taking his story. He couldn't read her at all. Her face gave away no sign of what she was thinking.
"Please," he pleaded. "You have to believe me."
"I believe you."
"You do."
"I know about the auto accident, David."
"What?" He couldn't hide his shock and confusion. "I don't understand. How do you know?"
"I was in love with you David. I actually thought you were my true love. When I didn't hear from you for several days I called an old friend of my father's. An investigator from his days in office. He looked into your disappearance, as a favor to me. Imagine my surprise when he told me that you were at your mother's home. I was concerned, at first, when he told me that you were there recuperating from injuries sustained in an accident. That was until I drove out to your mother's farm. I saw you out in the field, running around, playing fetch with your dog. You appeared perfectly healthy to me.
"You knew, the whole time? You were at my house? " David couldn't get his head around that. "But you never said anything. Why?"
"That is exactly the wrong question. A better one is why didn't you say anything? I get that you couldn't call that night, but days later, I still hadn't heard from you. Why? That's the explanation I want to hear. You sit here and tell me that you never meant to stand me up, and you expect me to believe you. You could have at least been man enough to break up with me in person. I deserved that much from you."
David ran his hand through his hair. He was trying to think. He had hoped telling her about the accident would be enough. Now it seemed, he was going to have to share more of the story. She was acting like he was the only one to blame in this whole situation. Maybe it was time for him to confess that he knew about Frank from the beginning.
"You weren't exactly forthcoming with me during our relationship either. I find it hard to believe that you were as in love with me as you say."
"I have never been anything but honest with you. Maybe I didn't come out and say that I love you, but I would have thought the way I threw myself at you that night in your truck might have been clue enough."
"So do you throw yourself at all your dates, or just the ones you love?"
The sound of the slap as her hand made contact with his cheek stunned them both. "How dare you say such a thing."
"Maybe it's time to throw all the cards on the table. I was there, Mary Margaret. I was at your father's reception. I saw you with Frank."
Now it was her turn to be shocked. "What do you mean you were there?"
"I was in love with you Mary Margaret. I woke up in the hospital, and I was almost insane with the knowledge that I had stood you up. I was so afraid you would be hurt and angry with me. I was afraid you wouldn't forgive me. I checked myself out of the hospital, against the advice of my doctor and the pleading of my mother, I might add."
"You were there?" There was a tremor in Mary Margaret's voice as she tried to process this new information. "But, I never saw you. Why didn't you say something?"
"I saw you..." David's voice caught as he struggled to continue. "I saw you with Frank. You were laughing and dancing. I had imagined you would be hurt and crying, but you appeared to be having a grand time without me."
Mary Margaret couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You didn't say anything to me, didn't even let me know that you were in the building, because you saw me dancing with an old friend?"
"An old friend, who is now your fiancée." His tone betrayed his own hurt and jealousy.
"Oh, David." Mary Margaret looked into his blue eyes, distraught by the hurt she saw there, but still burning with anger over his innuendo. She was overwhelmed by this new information. She didn't know exactly how to respond. "Frank and I were just friends then. We didn't start dating until almost six months after you left."
"Mary Margaret, you don't have to lie to save my feelings. I went to your house that night. I saw you kissing him. I saw you invite him in to spend the night."
"What were you doing, spying on me the whole night, like some sort of stalker?"
"No. I just wanted a chance to talk to you alone. I wanted to explain what happened. I thought I could wait at you house for you to get home. I assumed you would go home alone. But then I saw the two of you, and…" He looked away, unable to continue.
"You saw the two of us and what, David? You assumed that I slept with Frank that night? Just because you saw him kiss me?" She couldn't stop the hurt in coming through in her voice. "It's nice to know that you think so little of me. I guess you missed the fact that I actually pushed him away from me. I stopped him because I didn't want to be kissing him. I wanted to be with you…kissing you. How could you not know that, after the months that we spent together?"
"But," he faltered, "I heard you ask him if he wanted to stay the night."
"What you heard was me asking if he was planning on staying the night, in our guest room. A room that he had used dozens of times as a family friend. A room my step-mother had actually decorated to his liking. He practically lived in our home when he worked for my father."
David looked up into her strikingly dark green eyes. He could see the hurt and pain deep within. They were shining with tears, which she refused to let fall.
"How do we fix this?"
His gaze was so intense, so full of hope, that she was forced to look away as she answered. "We can't."
"But I love you. You just admitted that you love me too."
"But you didn't believe in us David. You didn't fight for us."
"It's not too late."
"I'm sorry, David. I don't trust you. You walked away. I can't risk that kind of heartbreak again."
"Please, Mary Margaret."
"I'm sorry." She straightened her posture and raised her chin in a show of strength. "Tomorrow morning I am going to find a way home, if I have to swim from Island to Island, all the way back to the mainland." She gave him no chance to respond as she turned and hurried away.
David was left standing alone on the beach. He had thought the first time losing her was bad, but this was torture. How was he supposed to handle knowing that if only he had spoken up, he might have never lost her in the first place?
He stayed there and watched as the waves moved back and forth across the beach, coming in farther each time as the tide came in. Eventually the waves began to slowly overtake what was left of Mary Margaret's sand castle. He couldn't help but think of the castle as a symbol of the true love of fairytales. The kind of love he never thought existed until he met Mary Margaret. The sight of the castle disappearing back into grains of sand on the beach was a perfect image of his dreams being washed away again.
