The following Week
Rin POV
It's been a week since I was in the hospital Mikuo sometimes visits me. The doctor doesn't think I'm stable enough to go back to school due to the nature of my condition. I realize that I need help; I've been attending the support group the doctor wanted me to attend. There are many people that are suffering the same issue as me. I no longer felt isolated but I miss Len. I'm sure he misses me. My scars and cuts are healing slowly; but I don't want Oliver to find out about them. I talk to
Mikuo for a while and I learn that Miku is in the hospital becuase of he found out she had an eating disorder.
"Rin what was the reason you tried to commit suicide?" Mikuo asks calmly.
"I felt hopeless and no one wanted me. Everyone keeps telling me that Len is better than me." I respond.
"Don't feel hopeless. Luka, Gakupo, Meiko and the others were wondering where you were this past week." Mikuo says.
"I already lost hope, so I started cutting I didn't know why but the pain made me feel better." I reply.
"Rin listen to me, Len was worried sick about you. When we had a sleep over he was crying in his sleep a lot; he's worried about you." Mikuo replies.
I look at Mikuo and realize that he's right; I have a problem. Some of the cuts never fully healed on my arm. The doctor asks Mikuo to leave so she could change my bandages. When she opens one of the gauze pads I cry out because the pad stuck to my wound and the gauze stuck to my skin. She took a scissor and began to cut away the bandages; she applies some antibiotic to my cuts and puts the wrappings around my arm. She checks my chest and abdomen for any infection around the stiches. She allows Mikuo to come back in and we both are talking to each other for a while.
"So what caused Miku to have an eating disorder?" I ask.
"School, pressure, and I lost my mom after we graduated middle school." Mikuo replies.
"I'm sorry to hear about your mother. But did she have any warning signs that showed that she had an eating disorder?" I ask
"She would sometimes purge and would wear baggy clothes to hide her extreme weight loss. However I ignored it because I thought that wearing baggy clothes was a thing that girls do." Mikuo says.
"I don't know what happened to Len and I; in middle school it felt like he was avoiding me. But when we graduated we got together again. A week after high school started I started cutting and smoking. I wanted to quit but it's so hard." I say.
"Why did you start cutting?" Mikuo asks.
"It felt like whenever I would cut, the cuts resembled my problems and whenever it bleed my problems went away. I got used to the pain and it was really addicting." I say.
"How did you conceal the cuts and the fact that you were cutting?" Mikuo asks.
"I would go into the woods to cut; I would bring gauze and tape to hide the wounds and pretend that my arm was cut from a branch. I washed the knife and hide it in my desk or pocket of my hoodie." I reply.
"I see but why didn't you want to get help. This isn't normal Rin; you make think you're hopeless and cutting will solve your problems but it doesn't; your problems only get worse if you don't get help. Why didn't you get help from Len if you were uncomfortable telling your parents?" Mikuo says.
"I don't know why. Len doesn't have any time to hang out anymore he's always busy with homework. It's a girl thing and he wouldn't even know what I'm going through." I reply.
We talk for a while before Mikuo leaves and Len walks in. I look at Len solemnly and he feels my rough hand and rubs my rough arm. My skin was no longer the silky smooth hand he was used to; it has become rough from all the constant abuse and cutting. Len hugs me and I want to hug but the bandages are constricting my movement. The nurse brings me a sandwich and fruit from the cafeteria.
Support group
Miku POV
My eating disorder is slowly getting better. I finally broke the cycle of eating and purging. Megumi had some relapse but Yuri and I got her on track. We both got to have meals but they were small because they didn't want someone to have relapse. I quietly eat Megumi and Yuri are eating next to me and we have some conversations."
"Megumi what are you going to do after we recover?" Yuri asks.
"I want to be able to eat my favorite foods again. Might eat a bowl of candy cereal." Megumi responds.
"Wow that's a nice reward and every child's dream of eating." I reply.
"Miku so how did your brother find out that you have an eating disorder?" Yuri asks.
"He noticed how I used to be a 06 short and now I wear a 00 long. Also he kept hearing me vomit painfully in the bathroom; at first he thought I had food poisoning until he caught on and realized I had an eating disorder." I say.
"My mom found out on a Saturday afternoon. So I was changing into my clothes when she walked in without knocking; then she realized saw that I was anorexic. I felt really bad for making her cry. I found out she really cared about me; she realized I was lying the whole time about eating ealier. I would even go as far as waking up early and putting clean dishes in the sink to make it look like I was eating. My older Brother Yui tried to comfort me when he came home during his semester breaks and would try to make me eat. I told my mom I wanted to get help but I couldn't stop. I really wanted to eat but I couldn't because I thought I was fat." Yuri responds.
"My doctor was the one that found out I had bulimia; even though I was normal weight. I finally confessed that I would purge after I ate. My dad was surprised because I was the only girl in my family. I had 4 older brothers and whenever I ate with them I would secretly go to the bathroom and purge because they had me eat a lot of food and I felt insecure about my body." Megumi says.
"It seems we all have trouble maintaining our weight. We should meet up at the library at school once our therapy is complete." I say.
"Yeah we should do that I should introduce my friends to you both but we have to do this after school." Yuri replies.
"Hopefully Meiko could come unless she has wrestling practice that day." I say.
