I have no plans to stop writing Beth/Daryl as long as people want to keep reading them. Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter. I got so many good suggestions and I hope to write many of them!


Chapter Nine. Smear.

Beth kept telling herself that there was no reason to be nervous. She felt fine. She was fine. Dr. Stookey just wanted to talk to her in person to tell her that she was fine. That was all. This was the best pap smear ever and he just wanted to congratulate her that in all of his years as a doctor, he had never had better pap smear results.

So why couldn't she stop wanting to throw up?

She sat in the chair in his office, waiting for him, and she was twisting her wedding ring over and over around her finger like she did when she got nervous. Because yes. She was nervous and terrified and she swore that if Dr. Stookey didn't come into this office in the next five seconds, she was going to throw up all over his desk.

Thankfully, he seemed to read her mind because the door opened and he walked in, a clipboard in his hand. Beth instantly stood up and spun to look at him.

"Should I call Daryl?" She blurted out and she still felt like throwing up but she also felt like bursting into tears.

Dr. Bob Stookey gave her a gentle smile and closed the door. "We can hold off on doing that for the time being."

For the time being. Did that mean that eventually, she would have a reason to call?

She watched as he walked around his desk and sat down behind it across from her, still smiling, and Beth sat down as well and tried to get herself to relax but that just wasn't going to happen because she knew she wouldn't have been called into the doctor's office after her test just so he could say how awesome everything was. Doctors didn't do that and obviously, something must be wrong for her to be in here. Really wrong.

But how could it be? Wouldn't she feel it if something was wrong? She was too young for something to be wrong. Isn't that what people said all of the time? Oh, you're so young and healthy… She still sometimes felt like she was twenty-two years old and not at all like she was a mother to three kids. And wasn't that how she was supposed to feel? She felt young and healthy and she had the best life. She took care of herself and her family and she really wished Dr. Stookey would stop smiling.

"Beth, there was an abnormality on your results," he finally cut to the chase.

Her heart dropped though she supposed she had been expecting him to say something like that to her. "Abnormality?" She echoed the word in a whisper, all sound dropping out around her. It was as if she had gone temporarily deaf.

She didn't hear the clock ticking on the wall. The sound of one of the nurses walking down the hall on the other side of the closed door. The sound of a car honking outside. It was a beautiful spring day and she didn't hear the birds singing. She didn't even feel the warmth of the sun shining in through the windows.

Abnormality.

That had to be the ugliest word she had ever heard spoken in the English language.

"I don't want you to worry, Beth. These types of things happen all of the time with many women," Dr. Stookey was quick to add but Beth barely heard his words. They were murmured, spoken under a foot of water and all she heard was a dull thrum in her ears. "I've already talked with Carol and we've scheduled you for another test first thing on Friday morning. How does that sound?" He asked as if he was inviting her over for dinner. So casual and still smiling about the whole damn thing and Beth felt like she was caving into herself.

She confirmed the appointment with Carol outside at the receptionist desk and she gave her a comforting smile as if she knew what had just happened though she possibly couldn't have known. Besides herself and Dr. Stookey, Daryl would be the only other one to know because she had to tell Daryl. Tell him what though? Abnormality. That meant absolutely nothing because it could mean so many things.

Beth didn't remember getting into the car or driving home or getting back out of the car and going inside. The house was quiet. She had gotten the afternoon off for her appointment and the boys were still in school and Abby was still at the daycare and Daryl would be collecting all of them that evening to bring them home.

She slowly climbed the stairs and turned into hers and Daryl's bedroom. She removed her cardigan and her shoes, leaving them all on the floor where they fell, and she crawled onto the bed. The window across from her was open and as she laid on her side, hugging the pillow to her cheek, she felt the cool breeze floating across her skin. She didn't cry. She was shocked she didn't cry. But perhaps she felt no tears stinging her eyes yet because she still couldn't fully comprehend what was going on.

Maybe she was still sleeping. She was still sleeping and any moment, the alarm would go off and Daryl would grumble before turning it off and sitting up. He kissed her on the head almost every morning before getting out of bed and she closed her eyes now, waiting to feel his lips because she was still asleep. She had to still be.

But instead of the alarm, she heard a truck outside and then a few moments later, the front door banged open downstairs and the kids ran in. Hunter was yelling about something – laughter in his voice – and Daryl was telling him to knock it off while Luke was telling him to shut up. She then heard a dull thud and she knew it was the boys knocking one another down onto the hard floor. There was a squeal of laughter from Abby, always entertained by her older brothers no matter what they did, and Daryl told them that if one of them cracked their heads open, they would have to stitch it back up themselves.

Beth told herself to get up and go downstairs and smile and greet her family and ask all of them how their days were but she couldn't quite get herself to and so she remained lying on the bed, staring across from her to the window and the white curtains that were gently waving in the breeze.

She heard the creak of stairs and then moments later, Daryl was in the bedroom.

"Hey," he said and his voice was soft as if he already knew but she knew he didn't and it was only because she was lying on their bed. he wasn't an idiot and he knew her and obviously, something must have happened for her to be like this.

Daryl. What would Daryl do? She knew that if anything ever happened to him, she would absolutely crumble but hopefully, she would still be able to take care of their kids. Would Daryl be the same? She had been with Daryl since she was twenty-one, marrying him when she was twenty-two and she had built this entire life with him and it was impossible to imagine anything tomorrow or beyond that without him.

He crawled onto the bed behind her and then his arm was heavy as it draped over her hip. She moved her hand and found his, her fingers linking with his, grasping it. He said nothing and waited for her to. And she knew she would have to.

"I have to go back to the doctor on Friday," she said and her voice sounded raw as if she had been crying for hours even though her face and eyes were both dry.

"How come?" His voice was rougher than usual – low and quiet – and she closed her eyes as she felt his warm breath against the back of her neck. She wanted to just burrow herself closer to him so that's what she did. Her back nestled further against his chest and his arm tightened around her.

"Dr. Stookey said…" she swallowed because now that she was going to say it out loud in her own voice, she could feel the burning in her throat. "He found an abnormality in my pap smear results."

She didn't have to look at him to know he was frowning. She could hear it.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Daryl all but growled.

Beth shrugged a shoulder. "It means I have to go back on Friday for another test. I don't know," she then shook her head and closed her eyes. "It's in the morning so you'll have to get the kids out of here on your own."

"I'm comin' with you," he said, still frowning, and that made Beth turn her head on the pillow and look up at him.

He wasn't just frowning. He was scowling – his face twisted and dark – but his eyes, she was the only one who knew how to read his eyes. And right now, he was terrified. He couldn't hide that from her no matter what the rest of his face wanted to show to her.

"We'll call your mom or Maggie and they'll help with the kids," he continued.

And she didn't realize how badly she had wanted him to be with her on Friday because when he made the suggestion, she felt a relief in her chest and she nodded.

"Thank you," she whispered. "He said abnormalities are actually normal on these types of tests and that there's no reason to worry yet."

"Yet," he grumbled out the word as if it was something bitter tasting on his tongue. His eyes fell back to her and he stared at her for a moment. "You're gonna be fine. You're fine right now."

Beth nodded and didn't say anything because she honestly had nothing to say. She would think her brain would be going a mile a minute, thinking of every single possible outcome of what could happen but instead, her mind was completely blank.

"Dinner… we need to eat," she said but when she began to sit up, Daryl's arm was over her stomach, keeping her in place.

"Nah. We'll go out," Daryl shook his head, hair falling in his eye. "You ain't gonna do anything."

"Daryl," Beth lifted her hand and brushed that hair back. "We can't do this. We have to still go about things like everything is normal."

"But it ain't and who says we have to act like it is?" He was back to frowning.

She didn't have a response to that so she didn't say anything. She looked up at him and he looked down at her and neither of them said anything and she finally had to close her eyes because the longer she looked at him, the more she wanted to cry. She felt him move and his breath was on her face and then his lips were brushing across her forehead. She exhaled a shaky breath and she lifted her hands to the sides of his neck and without opening her eyes still, she found his lips and kissed him harder than either of them were expecting.

"Mama!" They heard Hunter running up the stairs and then he burst into the bedroom. "Eww," he then whined at the sight of his parents kissing as he always did.

Daryl pulled away and looked at him with a frown. "What do you want?"

"Dinner," he answered truthfully.

Daryl looked back down to Beth. "I'll make spaghetti," he said and she sat up as he pulled himself from the bed. "You kill your brother?" He asked Hunter as he put a hand on the boy's head and guided him from the room.

"No," Hunter pouted as if he was disappointed.

Daryl made spaghetti and garlic bread and as they ate their dinner around the table in the kitchen, Luke was talking all about his upcoming art show at school and the piece he was working on and Hunter was talking about how he was the only boy brave enough to climb to the top of the jungle gym at recess and Beth listened to every word each of them said, asking questions and making comments and every time she moved her eyes to Daryl across from her, she saw that he was looking at her. She gave him small smiles – smiles he didn't return – but when dinner was done and the boys had carried the dishes to the sink and Beth began scooping leftovers into plastic containers, she felt Daryl come behind her. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around her and didn't say anything and didn't let her go.

She remembered being here before. When she had taken a pregnancy test and they had come to confirm it. They sat in Dr. Stookey's waiting room and Daryl's knee was bouncing up and down much like it was now and like she had done then, Beth reached over and rested her hand on it, trying to get it to stop. Daryl placed his hand over hers and linked their fingers together and he squeezed. She rested her head on his shoulder and neither of them said anything – the only sounds being the ticking of the clock and Carol's fingers clacking away on the computer's keyboard.

Both of her parents were able to come that morning and help with the kids and Annette had tried to get Beth to eat some breakfast, thinking if she had food in her stomach, she would feel better. But the thought of any food made her nauseous and she sat there now, feeling her stomach roll over again and again.

The door opened and Dr. Stookey himself stood there instead of Karen his nurse. "Beth? I'm all ready for you," he said, that same smile across his face as if Beth was here just to talk about the weather with him.

Beth and Daryl both stood up, Daryl still holding her hand tightly.

"Just need Beth right now, Daryl. I'll come and get you when we're done so we can discuss it in my office," he said.

Daryl didn't say anything but Beth looked at him and knew he wasn't happy about it. She took her hands and lifted them to his cheeks. He looked just as tired as she knew she did. Neither one of them had been getting that much sleep.

"See you in a little bit," she said to him quietly, and he stared down at her, his hands grasping her hips tightly.

He nodded and without a word, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her right there in the middle of the waiting room and not caring who was around to see and Beth tried to give him another smile though honestly, Daryl so willing to partake in open displays of affection with her terrified as much as any test. It was just so out of the ordinary for him and not at all what they did and was he preparing himself for the worst, too?

Back in the examination room, she changed into the gown and laid on the table with her feet in the stirrups and she closed her eyes and tried to remember to keep breathing as Dr. Stookey administered the test. He tried to distract her – asking her about the kids – but Beth could hardly answer, And it felt like hours again before the doctor stood up, still with that smile, and told her that she could get dressed now.

Daryl was already in the office and he stood up the instant she entered.

"How'd it go?" He asked and she smelled cigarettes on his breath. He must have gone outside for a smoke while she had been in there.

"He said he'll be here in a few minutes," Beth said, digging around for something in her purse. She pulled out a tin of mints and Daryl smirked when she handed them to him. He popped one into her mouth and she finally felt herself give an actual smile.

They sat down in the two chairs side by side and his knee was back to bouncing. Again, the only sound was the ticking clock. She and Daryl didn't say anything, both too caught up in their own thoughts for the moment. Their heads both turned at the same time when the door entered and a smiling Dr. Stookey entered.

"Hello, Dixons," he went and sat behind his desk, his eyes never leaving them. "Well, this test turned out just fine. No abnormalities whatsoever. No infection or inflammation and definitely no cancer. I guess we just didn't get enough cells the first time around. You're as right as rain. Everything else looks good. You're a very healthy woman, Beth."

Beth stared at him because that was it? Not enough cells? She had been driving herself crazy for the past couple of days, convinced she was dying. She couldn't say anything. Her heart was racing and her stomach was twisting and yet, the pressure in her chest had already instantly lessened.

All of that buildup for just a whimper.

She looked to Daryl and expected him to grunt something or ask something or say something rude and abrupt but instead, he just turned his head and looked at her. She smiled and it was a real smile and she almost wanted to laugh because she felt how exhausted she was.

Daryl didn't say anything still. Instead, he gave her his own small smile and then with a hand on the back of her head, he pulled her in for a kiss – again, not caring about an audience.

And Beth didn't care either because she was as right as rain. Everything was.


Thank you so much for reading and please review!