I couldn't remember how to use words. My tongue felt like it was glued to the roof of my mouth and I could feel myself biting my bottom lip but couldn't release it. Properly forming a comprehendible sentence was completely out of the question.

"Miss Swan?" Dr. Cullen tried to get my attention, worry glinting in his eyes. "Bella are you okay? Can you breathe for me please?"

I hadn't even realized I was holding my breath. I inhaled for four beats like my previous therapists had always encouraged and freed my then-throbbing lip to exhale through my mouth for four counts. I practiced this twice more, closed my eyes for five seconds, and then lost my shit.

"No. no no no no no no no no way you're the therapist. No." I caught myself glaring at him even though I wasn't mad. "Is that even legal? You can't just be like a regular doctor and a therapist. That's not how it works! Right? You have to choose one or the other for God's sake!"

"Well, Bella, it's a fairly small town, it isn't usually hard to balance both responsibilities-"

"I don't want your logic right now, okay Cullen…just let me freak the fuck out."

I saw a small smile pass over his face before he carefully composed it back into the blank slate of a practiced clinician.

"Besides, I don't want to see someone with a medical degree. There's a reason I was only willing to talk to a therapist and not a psychiatrist. I've dealt with you guys before, okay? You act like a pill is the answer to everything, but I won't take anything, ever, you got that?"

"That's definitely your decision, Bella. And if it makes you uncomfortable I promise not to suggest it. Would you like to go into my office now?"

His calm was expected yet still unnerving, and I wasn't sure why that was. Either way I knew I wasn't going to make it through the next hour without something soothing, and the keurig was so conveniently located near me.

"I need coffee first." I turned on my heel and placed the darkest roast in its place. I took the few moments necessary for the liquid gold to pour into the waiting paper cup to try and relax.

I can do this. I can so, totally do this, quickly became my mantra. With a dash of hazelnut creamer I secured a lid on top and turned back towards the waiting yet patient doctor, who gestured for me to enter his office. I walked in and slowly lowered myself onto yet another couch while he followed me in.

The office was very similar to the waiting room behind the now-closed door. Light gray walls, fluffy couch with plenty of throw pillows and a big knit blanket laid over the back, and a large wing-backed chair opposite. There was also a bookshelf against the wall, and a big window facing more forest. The room smelled faintly of vanilla and combined with the warmth of the cup in my hands it was comforting.

Dr. Cullen gently shut the office door and gracefully sat in the large chair facing me. We locked eyes for a moment, but I quickly moved my gaze to what I assumed was a family photo on his desk. I couldn't pick out the individual faces, but with the row of people on a lush lawn, surrounded by trees, it was the stereotypical portrait.

I tried taking a couple more deep breaths, not knowing whether or not I was going to be able to hold it together for the entirety of this meeting. I should have planned this out more. I knew how the first meeting with a new therapist went, I was totally capable of forming an outline of exactly what information I wanted to share and what was to remain strictly private. God I was such an idiot.

I met Dr. Cullen's gaze once more and he gave me an encouraging smile before saying "Before we begin Miss Swan, there are a couple things I should inform you of—"

"I know exactly what you're going to say," I interrupted, "Everything I say in here is completely confidential unless I say I'm going to hurt myself or someone else yada yada yada…I've been through this before."

"Very well, Bella. In that case would you like to tell me a little bit about why you're here today?"

"Not really but it won't do much good if I don't now will it?" I sighed and leaned back into the couch cushions once more.

He chuckled, just a little, the same short laugh a lot of middle aged men gave in inappropriate situations though he didn't seem middle aged and it wasn't that inappropriate. I debated what to say for a while. Obviously going into my whole life story seemed unnecessary and even if it was I was not willing to. I came here because I was anxious but if that's all I said he would ask what the cause was and I didn't have a clear answer. There was one piece of information I could give though: "My name isn't Bella Swan" I found myself saying out loud before I'd planned to.

I could clearly see the shock on his face at my announcement, but that was quickly replaced by what appeared to be mild concern "Could you please tell me what your name is then?" he said kindly.

"My name is Bella Starling. I grew up in Malibu and just moved here from San Francisco, not Phoenix. I've never met Renee and Charlie is not my father…I only met him a couple weeks ago. This week? I don't know, my concept of time has been kind of messed up recently."

The obvious shock was back, then again, I would be extremely surprised if he took all of that information with ease. Dr. Cullen shifted forward in his seat and his hand began to move toward me, but he stopped mid-air as if thinking better of it. Either way he fixed me with an almost paternal gaze and said calmly "Did someone force you here, Bella? Away from your family? Have they been hurting you?"

His eyes began to glisten, almost as if tears were forming but they didn't have quite the same watery look, almost more of a glaze. I was moved that he seemed to be so worried, but confused at the same time. Either way, I quickly answered "No! No one's hurting me, at least not any more…Charlie saved me."

A/N: Sorry it's been so long guys! I've been caught up with a lot of other things but I'm taking this semester off of school {well, kind of but that is a really long story of an entirely different nature}. I'm hoping to update again soon but honestly your reviews are super encouraging so if some of you want to keep R&R-ing or even PM me it helps with my anxiety about posting A TON! Thank you so much!