Chapter 9

Mrs. Hart carefully cracked open Tawni's door to see if she was still asleep. She looked at her daughter, now lying peacefully in her bed. She couldn't believe everything that had happened that day. After having been rushed to the hospital, Tawni's stomach had been pumped of the current traces of diet pills she'd taken. After that, the doctor gave her leave to go home, but not without strict directions for Mrs. Hart to follow. Tawni's body was indeed exhausted as her friends had already assumed and the doctor ordered for her to be kept on bed rest for a few days and given plenty of liquids to regulate her body again. He also instructed Mrs. Hart to make sure Tawni was given only light meals until her digestive system could recuperate from being under so much stress.

Mrs. Hart's cell phone vibrated, pulling her away from her thoughts. She shut the door quietly and went to the kitchen before answering it. Looking at the caller id she saw that it was Mr. Hart. "Hey, did you get my message?" she greeted as he responded frantically on the other end, proving he had. "It's okay. She's okay. The doctor gave her a very light sedative so she's sleeping right now."

She listened carefully to the swarm of questions he had about their daughter. "Well, I also talked to a specialist about what we can do and what to expect. She said I shouldn't be surprised if Tawni is unresponsive to any of our help at first, but to stick with it. She said the same way something triggered the disorder to begin with, something should eventually trigger a response to the healing process."

Mrs. Hart went silent as she bit her lip. Mr. Hart could tell something was wrong, but didn't press her. Finally, she spoke again. "I know the specialist told me not to blame myself, but I can't help it. I feel like it's my fault," her voice was shaky. "I just don't understand where I went wrong. I never thought Tawni would…" Mrs. Hart turned to see Tawni standing nearby. "Tawni, you're awake!" she exclaimed, somewhat happy and somewhat worried that she'd heard what had been said. "How are you feeling? Do you want to talk to your dad?" Tawni shook her head slightly. "Okay, I'll let you go," Mrs. Hart said into the phone before hanging up. "Your dad says he loves you."

"What's all that?" Tawni noticed several cards and balloons and a set of flowers on the kitchen island.

"They're from your cast mates," Mrs. Hart answered as Tawni picked up the flowers, clearly admiring them. "Beautiful aren't they? Nico got them for you."

"I hate them," Tawni threw them back down bitterly.

"But, sweetheart, daisies are your favorite."

"I don't care. I hate them. I never want to see them again," Tawni crossed her arms defiantly.

"If that's what you really want," she didn't push Tawni to be reasonable. She knew Nico had been the one to find the pills, so she realized how much anger her daughter must feel towards him at the moment. "Tawni," Mrs. Hart had something she wanted to clear the air of. "Honey, I need you to answer me. Do you realize what you were doing could have killed you? Do you want to…die?"

Tawni didn't answer immediately. The thought of dying had never crossed her mind. Of course she didn't want to die! "No," she finally managed.

Mrs. Hart's worst fears were relieved. The specialist had explained some used starvation as a form of slow suicide. "Good. Because I don't want to lose you. I love you too much."

"I know," Tawni rolled her eyes. She couldn't see what this had to do with her desire to be skinny.

"Then, please, cooperate with me. Your body needs rest…and food," she saw her daughter cringe, but she continued. "And, baby, you need therapy. We need to find out why you're obsessed with your weight so we can get you better."

Tawni had been trying to listen to her mother, but she hated what she was hearing. "It doesn't make sense!" she screamed. "How come people who are fat are looked down on, but people who are trying to be skinny are hurting themselves? I can't take it anymore! It's my body and I'll be skinny if I want to." Tawni turned her back and started to walk away.

Mrs. Hart realized this was the natural reaction the specialist had warned her about. She had to be firm, but loving with her. "Listen to me. You will eat even if I have to take you back to the hospital and pay them to feed you intravenously, is that clear? I don't care if you never talk to me again, but you will eat. And, when you're strong enough, you'll start therapy sessions at one of the hospital's rehab centers. You can tell me you hate me, scream, run away even, but as long as you're my daughter and you live under my roof, that's how it's going to be."

Tawni had stopped to hear her mother out, but as soon as she was finished, Tawni stormed towards her bedroom and slammed the door. The emotion of the conversation had drained what little energy she did have. She couldn't find the strength to deliberate what to do about her mother's forcefulness. Instead, she soon found herself drifting off to sleep.

-----oOo-----

"Hey there, Mr. Hero," Sonny found Nico sitting alone on the prop room stairs. His elbows were perched upon his knees and his chin perched upon his folded hands. His gaze was intense and Sonny could guess what he was thinking.

"Man, I really wish people would stop calling me that," Nico huffed a little and shook his head as he let his arms fall.

"Well, you are," Sonny encouraged. "And sooner or later Tawni will figure that out."

"I guess" Nico shrugged. "So, uh," he hesitated. "How's she doing?"

"Well, I visited her over the weekend," Sonny started, her expression already betraying her thoughts. "You know it's been three weeks, and she's still barely spoken a word to me or her mom. Mrs. Hart said she ditched her first two self-esteem workshops at the clinic. And she said she caught her trying to work out again so she had to put the home gym under lock and key. That, of course, made her angrier," Sonny explained. She paused before letting her usual sunny disposition find the bright side. "But there is some good news. Tawni's eating normally again. She's not even really fighting it anymore. That's a great first step."

"That's wonderful," Nico let a small smile creep to the edges of his mouth.

"Exactly. So, she'll come back to us eventually. And my intuition tells me she'll bounce back sooner than we think," Sonny prided herself on knowing people. She hadn't shared it with anyone for fear of getting their hopes up, but when Sonny had visited Tawni over the weekend, she'd sensed that the old Tawni was trying to resurface, but the new Tawni was doing her best to resist. One more piece of dynamite and the walls would come crashing down.

"I hope you're right," Nico responded anxiously. "This place sure hasn't been the same without her."

The hint of pining in Nico's voice reminded Sonny of the main reason she had wanted to talk to Nico in the first place. "By the way, Mrs. Hart wanted me to give you a message. She says thanks for being the sweetest boy in the world, but they really don't have any more room to put your flowers."

"Oh, uh, right," Nico cleared his throat in embarrassment. He hadn't expected any of his cast mates to find out that he'd been sending Tawni a bouquet of daisies every day for the past three weeks.

"So, what's up with you?" Sonny eyed him suspiciously. He'd been eager about any news of Tawni, even more so than the rest of them. "That's a whole lot of daisies," Sonny was clearly accusing him of harboring feelings for their friend.

"Oh, well, you know, I just really want her to know I'm sorry," Nico finally spit out a reason. "I mean, I didn't want to hurt her when I ratted her out like that. I don't want her hating me forever or anything because of it. I never meant to destroy our friendship."

"Right…friendship," Sonny wasn't entirely convinced. "Well, you sure have an extravagant way of saying you're sorry."

"I know, I know. But Tawni really loves flowers, and I tried just about everything else. She won't answer my calls. She won't open my emails. And every time I sign on, she signs off."

"Guess you could always try a text," Sonny attempted to encourage him. She realized that between some sort of blossoming attraction to Tawni and his feelings of guilt for hanging her out to dry, he must be just as confused as Tawni was about her image. "Look, it's like we keep telling you. You don't have to be sorry for doing what you had to. Tawni might not understand right now, but one of these days she will. Don't be sorry for saving her, Nico."

'Thanks, Sonny," Nico was gracious for her ability to put things in perspective. He'd been going through a lot, thinking about Tawni over the past few weeks. It felt good to get at least some of it off of his chest. "You're a great friend."

"So are you, Mr. Hero. So are you." Sonny gave him another smile before leaving him alone again.

Nico pulled out his phone and looked at the time. He couldn't help but wonder what Tawni was doing or thinking. Was he on her mind as much as she had been on his lately? Probably not, he reasoned, unless she was thinking about how much she hated him. He sighed as he began fidgeting with the phone restlessly. Suddenly, he decided to give Sonny's suggestion a try. "I've tried everything else. Why not," Nico thought aloud. He quickly began typing the first and only thing that came to his mind.

-----oOo-----

"This is ridiculous," Tawni mumbled. She sat outside of the workshop room, arguing with herself. "They don't want to help me. They just want to make easy money spouting off the same things over and over."

Tawni's mom had threatened to sit in on the next workshop with her if she skipped one more. However, although the potentially embarrassing idea scared her, Tawni still couldn't find the nerve to open the door and join the other people who claimed to be just like her. Opening the door would be like admitting that she'd messed up. It would be like admitting that everyone else was right. And Tawni Hart always wanted to be the one who was right. Always.

However, the thought had entered her mind several times since having been found out. Maybe they were all right. Maybe deep down she wanted them to be right. If they were right, maybe she was just sick. Maybe she wasn't just a hopeless wreck after all. "Who am I kidding," she argued again. "I'm still fa…"

Tawni's felt her leg vibrating, cutting her off. She pulled out her phone. Without even thinking to see who it was from, she read the text on her screen with wide eyes and wonder. "You're beautiful," she barely whispered.


A/N - Hope it was worth the wait. It's been one busy, crazy summer, but hey, that's how it should be right!?

I know 3 weeks was a big time jump in the plot line, but between lack of computer to work with on a regular basis and school starting soon, I decided if I dragged it out, I might lose interest or simply bite off more than I can chew. Don't worry though, nothing is being left out from what I originally intended. I'm still including everything I imagined, just without adding things here and there in between. That all said, there will be one more chapter.

Kudos to those who caught the reference to Demi Lovato's song, Got Dynamite. It's probably my favorite song from the new cd and definitely a good theme song for Tawnico ;) Too bad it's one of the only songs she didn't perform when I saw her in concert a few days ago :(