Nice Guys Finish Last

Nice guys finish last.

Puck knew that that sounded totally clichéd and believe him he wasn't into clichéd things (for example the clichéd belief that the perfect couple has to be made out of a jock and cheerleader: Finn and Quinn and see how that turned out) but this is one statement in which he actually agrees. To further explain his belief he was going to use his kind, wonderful, likable, dumb-ass and nice ex-best friend Finn Hudson.

True, nice guys get everything. They get all the right girls. He knew that he was hotter and although he wasn't exactly as tall as Finn, he was a way better catch than Finn. But Quinn chose him and Rachel liked him better—whoa. Stop there for a minute. He decided to erase that statement. Quinn still chose him. Who cares if Berry is crushing on Finn and not on him? He didn't care.

Yup, he didn't care. Not at all. Not even in the slightest.

Okay, maybe he did care but that was not the point.

Nice guys get all the sympathy. During those days when everyone still thought that Finn was the daddy they sang him songs about holding on and keeping strong and all that shit but when they found out he was the dad all he got were "looks". Not one sympathy song.

Nice guys get liked even if they're stupid or have flaws. Like Finn. His ex-best friend couldn't even distinguish a dog from a cat and still girls and guys (cough*Kurt*cough) alike still make eyes over him. What the fuck is up with that?

But despite all those, Finn still lost. Finn still got his heart crushed, ripped and pulled out by the supreme bitch: Princess Quinn (Puck was still on ice at her for not letting him be the daddy). In the end the baby still wasn't Finn's. In the end he was played and lied to by Quinn and no matter how many dirty looks he gave Puck or no matter how much he ignored Quinn and fawned over Rachel instead, the baby wasn't his and he was taken for a ride.

And this was basically a cycle with Finn. He's nice but he ends up getting either screamed at or hurt. Like when they were ten years old, Finn messed up his expensive suit to get a kite that was stuck on a tree. He got yelled at and screamed at by his mother. And from Finn that's how Puck learned that nice guys always lose and that the only way to win is to be badass.

Puck arrived thirty minutes late again. After taking a quick survey and head count of the kids in the room he raised a brow.

"Hey Berry! Where's the kid who's into cougars?" Puck asked remembering Jerome, Jeffery or Jerald and the shitting he got from Santana after he didn't reply to her sexts.

"His parents decided that maybe it was a bit….unhealthy for him to be around me for awhile since he seems to be taken with an obsessive infatuation with me," Rachel said turning red.

"His parents won't let him come back until he comes back from his therapy session," Rachel said.

"I thought we placed that kid in his place after I—''

"Don't speak! I do not wish to be reminded of that event!" Rachel said holding her hand up.

"Like I wanted to broadcast it," Puck said rolling his eyes.

"So I don't see flour…or glue…what's the agenda for today?" Puck asked.

"First of all I must inform you, that you will not get scotch free for being late. Again. In case you haven't realized Noah but we're in a partnership and unless you put in a 50-50 effort or—''

"75-25 paycheck! Yeah, got it mom! So what? Did your brain and explode leaving you with no ideas?" Puck asked.

"No actually. Since you were...tardy again, I have decided to go along with my plans without your assistance but…"

Puck nodded, prodding her.

"Jon Dent urinated in his pants again and unfortunately, this time, it landed on my father's extremely expensive and imported Persian Carpet," Rachel said.

Puck couldn't help but laugh hysterically. He snorted. He knew that it was major uncool but the thought of Rachel's mortified face when Jon Dent peed on his pants and unto her daddies' expensive Persian rug was too much to bear. Rachel's face scrunched up the way it normally does when she's mad.

"As soon as you have finished laughing mockingly at me, I take it that you want to listen what I have planned for this afternoon?" Rachel said sourly.

"Take it away, boss," Puck said in between chuckles.

"I think that after last week when the children spilled glue all over my father's European Antique Table and the week before that when Jon Dent peed again, on my…expensive Monique Lhuillier gown which I planning to wear to my violin recital and the week before that when the children broke the antique chair that was approximately a hundred years old or the week before that when Jon Dent peed again…on my Mahogany Wooden Floor and the week before that—''

"Okay, got that. Kids are messy and they ruined lots of your expensive and old stuff. So do you plan on letting them ruin your stairs made by Ecuadorian children or maybe you planned on letting them get paint over your virgin-styled skirts—''

"That's the thing. I refuse to let them break or deface anymore of my property! So…I decided that maybe a trip around town would keep them from ruining my stuff."

"And you want to use my truck?" Puck demanded.

"They would never fit in my Prius! And besides it's only fair. It isn't your possessions that they are impairing. A little gasoline is hardly as much as the damage of my antique chair!" Rachel hissed.

"Fine! Just stop talking! You make my ears hurt!" Puck whined.

They drove around town doing absolutely nothing but stare at the shops. They stayed on the playground for like five minutes but Jon Dent was on his way to urination land so they had to rush to the nearest store witch a bathroom and that store happens to be an ice cream shop.

So after Jon Dent peed the kids all demanded for ice cream. Puck at first wouldn't pay for half the costs but after Rachel gave him another one of her long monologues he nodded grudgingly and they all sat at the back eating ice cream.

"This is twice more expensive then the normal babysitting session," Puck whined remembering the tennis thing.

"Stop complaining! It's not like it's only you with the desirable need for money," Rachel said pursing her lips as she counted the money inside her purse.

"If we just stayed in your house…"

"And let them damage another one of my priceless antiques? Hardly what I call an enjoyable time for my part!" Rachel snapped.

"Do you have any idea how much diapers cost?!" Puck snapped.

"Do you have any idea how much that chair costs. It costs a hundred and ten thousand—''

"Blah! Blah!" Puck said covering his ears.

"Very mature Noah…."

"Thank you Berry."

"I was being sarcastic," Rachel said rolling her eyes.

Their orders soon arrived and soon everyone was busy eating their ice cream. It took only a few spoonfuls before Rachel decided that the ice cream was too sweet and had too much sugar.

"Will you finish that Berry?" Puck asked eyeing her ice cream.

"No, it's rather too sweet for my tastes," Rachel said scrunching up her nose.

Puck made a grab for her ice cream but Rachel slapped his hand away.

"Absolutely not!"

"Why not?" Puck demanded.

"Do you honestly think I'll give this to you?"

"Stop being selfish!"

"Stop being so assuming!"

Tinkle! Tinkle!

They both turned at the sound of the doorway chimes to the doorway where a very downtrodden looking man came in. He was wearing a torn and very dirty-looking trench coat, a bowler hat that has this weird brown stuff on it that smells weird (Puck suspects that it was poo) and the man began to go from one table to another.

Puck noticed that Rachel looked distracted and there was a look in her eyes (pity?) and she couldn't stop staring at the man. Puck at first felt the unnecessary need to ask her what was wrong but then he decided against it. She was too busy to pay heed to her ice cream so the Puckerone gets brownie points. While Rachel continued to stare at the man Puck slowly grabs her bowl of ice cream.

Just as he was about to take a spoonful he heard Rachel shriek.

Puck snapped his attention back to Rachel.

"What?"

"They've thrown him out! And he hasn't even gone to our table yet! Come on!" Rachel said tugging Puck's hand.

"Why?"

"He's a soul in need Noah," Rachel said sternly.

"And I'm not?"

But Rachel had already left running outside. Puck rolled his eyes. He decided that maybe he will go outside to see what the big fuss is about. He'd never hear the end of her talking if he didn't go. He went outside to find Rachel talking to the man with glazed eyes.

"Yes, darlin'. I and my family live in a car all year round. I'm trying to get back on my feet now. Pretty low our income lately. No one wants to hear my jokes anymore for pennies," he said sadly.

Puck snorted.

Rachel swatted his arm.

"Well….let me hear a joke," Rachel encouraged.

"Bless you. You're a saint darlin'," he said his eyes twinkling.

"What stranger than a cat fish?" he asked.

Rachel shrugged.

"Seeing a gold fish bowl!" he said before cracking up into a fit of laughter. Puck resisted the urge to tell him that that was the corniest joke ever.

Rachel laughed. Honestly, that was the fakest laugh ever but Rachel hands the guy a twenty dollar bill.

"Bless you," he said again before scuttling off with the twenty.

"The manager is the most heartless person I have ever seen. Imagine, living in a car! I can't even stand sleeping in the guest room," Rachel said frowning.

"I can't believe you Berry," Puck said shaking his head.

"You can't believe that unlike you I am kindred enough to help that subjugated person who is need of money? That those twenty dollars are not enough to feed a family of four? That to earn a living he has to tell corny jokes since no institution would take him?"

"I have no idea what you just said because your voice was cutting through my ears but anyway….those twenty dollars could have bought you a book, heck it could even have bought you food but you had to give it away to some loser who tells corny jokes!" Puck said.

"Noah! I am shocked at you! That man needed help!" Rachel said as they re-entered the ice cream shop.

"Can't you see it was all a sham? The phony accent? The tacky costume? The heart wrenching and fake sob story?"

"Are you insinuating that that man was simply shamming me?"

"You need to be firm Berry! You need to stop being so freakin' nice."

"But—''

"And even if he wasn't pretending how else do you think he got poor? And why does he stay poor? Just like Sue said in Sue's Corner if they want to stop being poor he should stop telling lame jokes so people would hire him—''

"She mentioned homeless people and as I recall the man had a home—his car. But anyway you watch Sue's corner?"

"That's not the point Berry! What I'm trying to say is nice guys finish last!"

"What?"

"Nice guys finish last. Like Finn. He's nice and all but you know I banged his girl—''

"I don't want to hear it."

"Whatever. That twenty could've done a lot for you but you were too nice. Me? I'm badass and that's why I never get shitted into any situation like this," Puck smirked.

"You're right Noah, I should firm up…" Rachel said sitting down.

"Starting now!" Rachel yelled stepping on his foot.

"What the hell?"

"That's for taking my ice cream when I firmly told you no!"

Puck was in a bad mood after the ice cream shop and they drove around town again. Jon Dent peed again. On his baby. In his new leather seats. After a lot of screaming and yelling (by Puck mostly) they stopped by a convenience store where Rachel led the children inside to look but not buy (she spent her twenty on the man).

Rachel went outside for awhile and she saw Puck obsessively cleaning his new leather seats which were peed on by Jon Dent.

"That kid has a serious bladder problem!" Puck hissed.

"Stop being ridiculous! It's just a car!" Rachel said laughing.

"Just a car?! Just a car!? Berry! This is my baby!" Puck said as he cleaned his seats manically.

"We're never ever taking trips around town! Ever!" Puck grumbled.

Suddenly they both heard a sniffle and they turned to find a small little boy sobbing on the steps.

"What's wrong sweetie?' Rachel asked kneeling down and patting his back.

"Careful Berry….he might start crushing on you again," Puck snickered.

Rachel rolled her eyes.

"My dad sent me here to buy some flour and I l-lost the money….now I'm in big trouble for sure…," he said in between sobs.

"Oh I wish I had money to help you but I spent everything on this guy and…," Rachel didn't finish since the kid started sobbing again.

"M-my dad's gonna kill me!" he said.

"I'm sure he'll understand," Rachel comforted.

"He's not the understanding type," he said looking at Rachel with a meaningful gaze.

And it was like something snapped inside Puck. He remembered something, a situation just like this only his dad sent him to buy cigarettes. He lost the cash and after coming back home without any cigarettes and the change his dad yelled at him for half an hour with his mom crying in the background.

Puck stared at Rachel whose eyes looked sad.

"Don't cry. Look, why don't we go to my house. I'm sure I have some spare cash in there that I can give you—''

"Stop talking Berry. You'll blow up the town with all that hot air leaking from your mouth," Puck said.

Rachel glared at him.

Puck sighed and he knew that Rachel will get all smug on him alter but…

"Here kid. Get that flour," Pucks aid shoving a bill under the kid's nose. The kid looked up with a look of shock and gratefulness on his face. He slowly took it and said, "Thanks mister."

Rachel raised a brow.

"You're real nice," the kid said before entering the convenience store.

"Nice guys finish last…?"

"Save it," Puck grumbled.

"But I thought—''

"Nice guys do finish last," Puck said and Rachel frowned. Puck strikes to her as a guy that was too concerned of his outside appearance and reputation. But Rachel knew (and today was a fine example) that Puck was truly a nice guy and as always he is trying to hide it behind his badass persona. Rachel had to admit she was impressed with Puck. And attracted somewhat.

Whoa.

Hold that thought.

She's like to rephrase that.

She was amazed at how nice and sweet Puck really is.

"But they get a warm feeling in their stomach that a badass just can't get."

And Puck wasn't sure what that smile tugging on Rachel's lips meant but Rachel would like to rephrase her staement.

She was amazed at how nice and sweet Puck really is.

And attracted somewhat.

Only somewhat, mind you.

In a friendly sort of way.

In a I'm-proud-that-he's-actually-gone-beyond-his-bad-guy-exterior sort of way.

As they all gathered in hsi truck again Puck smiled, "You know that feeling in your stomach is like a good dose of chronic lady. I think I'll try ebign nice more often."

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