"Alright," Clary says, sitting down at Luke's kitchen table, waiting for his return from wherever he is. "We have three choices." She tosses down a loaf of bread, a jar of Nutella, a package of sliced cheese, and a jar of peanut butter and jelly that is mixed together. "We can either have very simple grilled cheese sandwiches, a Nutella sandwich, or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."
"Luke's not much of a cook is he?" Jonathan asks, raising an eyebrow at the limited options in front of him.
"No. He never was," she replies and reaches for the Nutella. "But I'm having a Nutella sandwich while you decide. I'm starving after everything that's happened today." She starts to spread the nut spread on her bread as Jonathan reaches for the jar of peanut butter and jelly mixture and begins to make himself a sandwich. Both of them eat in silence, Jonathan grimacing as he eats. "What's the matter?" she asks him.
"It tastes different than I remember," he says, looking down at the sandwich he is eating. "It's...got more flavor. And I don't mean that in a good way."
She laughs once at him and smiles as she swaps sandwiches with him. "Try this one." she says. He grabs it and takes a bite, his brows rising in a pleasing surprise. "This is much better," he remarks. "I guess I'm going to have to figure out what foods I like on top of everything else."
"It's like you're a baby." she says with a smirk. "A big, six-foot-three baby. Just promise me that you won't start throwing temper tantrums and I'll be okay with being your super cool little sister that helps you figure all of this stuff out."
He gives her a serious look and says, "I make no promises." in a similarly serious voice. She chuckles and finishes his peanut butter and jelly sandwich and watches him as he makes himself another Nutella sandwich and scarfs it down in a few bites. When they're done, they clean up and move to the living room, sitting down on his only couch together. There is a long comfortable silence that stretches between them. Clary feels Jonathan's eyes on her as she tries her best to avoid thinking about her friends, mother, and Jace. "That's a weird face you're making." he comments. "I'm not sure what it means."
"What?"
"Well, you were always hard for me to read in the first place. I'm trying to recall everything that Valentine taught me about expressions and how to discern them, but the look you have now, I have no idea what it means." He looks away and shrugs his shoulders. "I guess I am like a baby. I have to re-learn everything."
She sighs and looks down at her hands in her lap, deciding that honesty is the best policy with him. He'll never learn if she lies. "I'm just...trying not to think about my friends...and Jace. I'm trying so hard and failing. I keep replaying seeing Jace's wi...realizing that he was married when I saw her come around the corner and kiss him." She shrinks into herself some. "I can't deal with that right now."
"Well let's talk about something else then," he says, turning his body to face hers. "How about you tell me how I was brought back?"
She looks up at him and shrugs. "I honestly don't know. The Seelie Queen said that she received a book from some shadowhunters as a gift that was very powerful. So powerful that it could bring back the dead."
"But why did she want to bring me back?"
"She said that you were the only one that would be able to defeat the Unseelie King. He apparently has a weapon that can make angelic weapons and runes not work. She said that he would start a war with the Nephilim and he would win because we would be fighting as mundanes, without the help of angel's blood or weapons, and that after he won, he would come after her, her court, and her people."
"I'll bet she didn't expect me to come back as this," he says knowingly, motioning to himself. "I suppose that I'm just a normal shadowhunter now since I don't have the help of demon's blood to make me stronger and faster."
"You know, I didn't even think about that." Clary says thoughtfully. "I guess we'll find out soon enough when..."
Her words are cut off when she hears keys jingle and then a key pushed into the lock of the front door. "Go! Hide in my room!" she says to Jonathan and gives him a few shoves. "I'll have to explain you first." He nods and then he is hurrying off and disappears around through the doorway that is to the kitchen and then down the hall.
She pushes off the couch and stands, smoothing down her hair. The door starts to open and her heart jumps into her throat. She's positive that Luke will be glad to see her but she has no idea how he'll react to Jonathan. She flexes her hands nervously at her sides as he steps into the house and drops his keys on the table next to the door. He doesn't look up until after he shuts the door and locks it. He turns around and his eyes instantly find Clary's.
His hair is almost completely grey and his face has some more wrinkles, making him look worn and older than she remembers. "Hey, Luke." she says, a small tremor in her voice. His brows furrow in confusion and disbelief and Clary can't take it any longer. The day's events all piling up inside of her and clawing to be let free. She needs to feel his arms around her. He has always been her father, even if he isn't her blood.
Before she reaches him, she starts to cry. She holds her arms up as she nears him and then he is lunging for her. "Clary!" he shouts and wraps her in a giant hug. "You're here. You're alive!"
She buries her face in his neck and lets herself go, letting herself fall to pieces in his comforting arms. Her tears are soaking his shirt while his soak her exposed shoulder. "Oh my God, Clary. I thought you were gone. I thought I'd never see you again." he says in a shaky voice.
When her sobs grow louder and more desperate sounding, he starts to rub circles on her back, trying to calm her. "Hey, hey, hey." he says softly. "It's okay now. I'm here and I'm never going to let you go again." He chokes on the last few words while Clary tries to suck in large breaths of air, her chest heaving with her cries.
"I didn't know how much I missed you until just now." she says to him, sniffling and wiping her nose with the back of her hand.
"Where have you been?" he asks, pulling her away from him with great effort and holding onto her shoulders. His head dips down and his eyes find hers.
"The Seelie Queen," she says after taking a few deep breaths to try and calm herself. "She's kept me prisoner down in Faerie."
Anger flashes deep in his blue eyes. "That fucking bitch." he sneers. His eyes then leave her face when he notices the brand on her shoulder that is right beside his hand. She drops her head in shame as he starts to scan her skin with his eyes, lingering on each and every scar she now has. The long one that stretches from her left ear to her shoulder catches his attention until she brings up her hand to cover it. They then focus on her wrist, his face turning horrified at the disfigured skin and muscles there. She knows it's not a pretty sight and shame washes through her against her will. It's a feeling that she's become very accustomed to since her time in Faerie.
"What did she do to you?" he asks in a horrified whisper.
"She made me pay for my part in her losing the Dark War and bringing about the Cold Peace."
"Clary." He says her name like an apology, fitting into it all of the hurt he's felt over the past few years. "I didn't know. Alec said that he watched a faerie night kill you."
"It was a glamour," she says dryly, pushing some of her hair out of her face. "That was one of the things the Queen loved to do the most to me. She'd make faeries look like the people I loved and kill them, over and over again." He then pulls her back into another bruising hug for a long time while she cries a little more controlled this time.
"Let's sit down." he says to her. "I believe that the shock of seeing you here is wearing off and my legs are starting to shake."
She gives him a nod and goes to sit where Jonathan just was while he takes her spot. He looks over her while a smile grows on his face. "You look so much like your mother now." When the words are out of his mouth, he pales considerably, looking like he had just stepped on a landmine.
Her chin quivers with her effort not to cry as she says, "I know about Mom." The two of them lunge at each other again as they cry broken sobs into each other's arms. He holds onto her with desperation, not willing to let her go till he's gained control of himself again. When he pulls back, his eyes are bloodshot and tired. Not the sleepy kind of tired but the emotional kind. The kind that ages you ten years in the span of one.
Her hand raises and she places it on his face and gives him a kiss on his cheek. "I'm sorry you had to go through that alone."
"And I'm sorry that we all left you down there for all this time. I'll never forgive myself for it." He closes his eyes and shakes his head in disappointment at himself.
"Let's not talk about that right now." She clears her throat and sits up a bit straighter. "There is something that I need to tell you. It's something I had to do to get my freedom back."
"Okay," he says, shifting slightly into his pack leader voice. "Whatever it was, it was worth it."
"I hope you still feel the same when I tell you what it was." she says dryly, dropping her eyes for a second before looking up at him again. "She asked me to bring someone back from the dead. She got a book from some shadowhunters and it had a spell and...you catch my drift," she says cutting her explanation short. She's tired of explaining everything to death today. "But before I tell you who it is, you have to know that when this person came back, they came back completely different than the way they were when they were alive."
He is starting to look wary now, his blue eyes turning very serious. Clary closes her eyes and lets out a long breath and says, "She had me bring back Jonathan."
His eyes widen almost comically big with surprise. "What?!" he shouts. "Your brother?!"
She raises her hands and holds her palms out to him. "Luke. Luke," she says in a soft voice. "He came back the way he was when he died. You were there. You saw what happened; saw that the heavenly fire burned out everything demonic inside of him. That's how he came back. He didn't come back as Sebastian. He came back as Jonathan; the son that Mom dreamed of and mourned when she saw what Valentine had done to him. He's how he was always supposed to be."
Luke looks seriously at her, looking like he is expecting her to say "just kidding". When she remains quiet, he seems to realize that what she's said isn't some sort of sick joke. "Are you sure? He's different?"
"I'm positive," she answers surely and then begins to chew on her cheek for a moment. "What is it, Clary? What do you want to say?"
She looks up to him and says, "Jonathan!" she calls out. "It's okay to come out."
Luke instantly rises from his seat on the couch as he looks around to the two entrances to the room. There is a creak of a floorboard and his eyes zone in on the door to the kitchen. Jonathan peaks around the corner, into the room, and meets his eyes with Luke's. Clary can see the impassive look on his face that he's fixed there to hide whatever emotion he may be feeling. Just like Jace does.
That thought causes her to flinch before she pushes it away, the situation in front of her needing her attention. She rises from her seat as the two men stare at each other, and walks over to Jonathan. "Jonathan, I'd like you to meet Luke."
Jonathan takes some tentative steps towards Luke and holds out his hand. "I'm sorry about your sister. Really, I am."
Luke's face turns sour with the memory of seeing his sister turned a dark shadowhunter and then watching her die, all because of Sebastian. "Look at his eyes, Luke. They're exactly like Mom's." Clary says gently. His eyes then move to study Jonathan's, a thoughtful look on his face, all the while, Jonathan is holding his hand out for Luke to shake.
A long moment passes before Luke's hand reaches out to shake Jonathan's. "You're right. They are just like Jocelyn's," he says with a hint of a smile on his face. "This is crazy, Clary." He looks down at her as he lets go of Jonathan's hand. "I don't know how you did it, but..." he looks back to Jonathan, "...here he is. Your real brother. Not something that Valentine put in place of your brother, but your real brother. I just wish your mother was here to see it."
"Me too," Clary says quietly, looking between the two men she is in the middle of. Luke moves to sit down in the recliner adjacent to the couch while Jonathan sits next to Clary in the spot that Luke just occupied, never taking his eyes off of Jonathan. They have turned from studious to wonder as he watches her brother.
"That now leads me to something that I have to ask of you." she says, looking nervously to Jonathan. He gives her a reassuring nod and a small smile before she turns back to look at Luke. "Jonathan and I, we have nowhere to stay. And before you say anything, you have to know that we are a package deal. When he came back, I wasn't sure what he was going to come back as so...I did something drastic to make sure he wouldn't hurt anyone ever again. I...uh...Jonathan? Can you show him yours? I can't really pull my dress up or down. He's the only father I've ever known so that would be weird."
"Yeah, no problem," he says and lifts his shirt up. The red rune stands out stark against his pale skin. Recognition flits across Luke's face and then it starts to turn worried. "Luke, it's okay." Clary says. "I have the dominant one."
"Does this mean that if anyone hurts him, it will hurt you too?" he asks with concern.
"Yes. And vice versa."
"Clary, that's dangerous." He turns his serious blue eyes to her. "Every Nephilim would sooner kill him than let him or you explain that he was different. And that goes the same for most of the downworld as well."
"And that is why we need your help," she says, leaning forward onto her knees with her elbows. "We don't have anywhere to go that we would feel safe."
"What about the Institute? Simon would listen."
She shakes her head vigorously. "We...can't go there."
"Why not?"
"Because we just can't." Clary says with more force this time. She unconsciously turns into Jonathan a little.
"Jace lives there with...his new..." Jonathan says, trailing off, willing Luke to understand.
Luke seems to grasp what Jonathan is saying and Luke looks to Clary. "They invited me but..." he trails off, dropping his eyes and shaking his head. "I'm so sorry Clary. That was probably a big shock for you."
She says nothing as a tear rolls out of her eye and she wipes it away. "I don't want to talk about it." she says dejectedly.
"Okay," he replies with a nod. "Then I guess I should give you my answer. I don't know why you even thought you had to ask. Of course, you can stay...and Jonathan. Although, it will take some getting used to seeing his face and not wanting to kill him."
"You and the rest of the world," Jonathan says dryly and quietly.
Luke actually cracks a smile at this. Clary looks up to him and gives him a half smile. "He's actually pretty funny." she says and looks up to her brother. "Once you get past the 'I really want to kill you' phase."
Luke lets out a throaty chuckle as he gets up and wraps her in his arms again, squeezing her tight, reassuring himself that she's actually real. "Yeah. Once you get past that, I'm sure he is."
Jace
Jace is sure his feet are wearing a path into the floor of the Herondale manor as he paces non-stop in the library. Evie is still asleep upstairs and he couldn't be more grateful for that. To say that she was upset last night would be a huge understatement. Last night was supposed to be the happiest day of her life...and then Clary showed up.
Clary.
She was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He had been thinking of her in the garden when he first saw her again. He had thought that she was a hallucination, a ghost maybe until she had said his name. His heart ceased beating in his chest and he dropped his glass of bourbon to the ground in surprise. He still wasn't sure she was real till she ran towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He had stupidly pushed her away to make sure she was there when he should have been holding her instead.
In that moment, his heart felt whole again. The huge gaping hole that had torn itself in the center of his chest when he thought she died filled back in, her taking her rightful place there again. It was the most natural feeling in the world when she had pressed her lips against his with such desperation in her touch. His body reacted like it always did when they kissed, and his hands had slid down her body while he melted into her lips. His heart soared inside of him, making him feel like he was flying, his tongue pushing out to taste her all too familiar lips.
And then Evie had shown up.
He had honestly forgotten about her for those few moments until he heard her voice calling out for him. Guilt then weighed heavily against his chest. Clary grabbed his hand and giggled, wanting to pull him away so they wouldn't get caught, and from the look in her eyes, take him somewhere more private and do more than just kiss him.
Evie had come around the hedge then, looking beautiful in her wedding dress. Clary smiled hugely and laughed, asking if they were at a wedding. When he pulled his hand away from hers and looked to Evie, he felt like he was going to throw up. The utter betrayal in Clary's eyes when she realized that it was his wedding felt like a thousand tiny stabs to his heart.
He deserved to feel that.
He reaches out beside him and picks up a glass vase holding brightly colored flowers and throws it across the room. It shatters loudly as it crashes against a bookshelf. Tears sting the back of his eyes and his chest begins to feel like an elephant has taken up residence there. His breath is shaky as he tries to take a deep gulp of air to calm himself.
"Jace?" Alec's voice calls out quietly from the other side of the door before he sees the knob turn. He pokes his head in the room and sees Jace's pained face and comes inside, Magnus following behind him.
"Did you find her?" he asks Magnus desperately. He had been preoccupied with Evie the whole night, trying to calm her down and reassure her of everything when he wasn't even sure himself. When she had finally fallen asleep in their bed at the manor, he had slipped out of the room and has been pacing in the library since.
"I did," Magnus replies.
"How is she? Is she okay?"
Magnus hesitates for a moment, trying to figure out the right words to say. "She's physically fine. I can't speak for her emotional state, though she had been obviously crying for a long while when we found her."
"That's because she thinks we all forgot about her. That we left her down there to rot and just moved on like she...which is insane. I...would have never left her if..." Jace grunts in frustration and runs his hand angrily through his hair as he turns around and faces the wall. He needs to gain control of himself.
"I'm so sorry, Jace," Alec says, choking on his words. "I was so sure of what I saw..."
"Well it wasn't true, now was it?!" he shouts at his parabatai, not turning around. "She's been in Faerie this whole time. They've been TORTURING her! I left her down there to..." His chin quivers with the thought of her being whipped and branded, all the while, he was moping around at the Institute, not doing a damn thing to help her. "And then to top it all off, I ignored the dreams that I was having." He turns around and looks at the both of them. "Ithuriel was trying to tell me that she was alive, that she was being tortured and all I did was ask for a way to make them go away. I should have known..."
"There was no way to know." Alec cuts in and Jace's eyes flare with anger. "Yes, there was!" Jace shouts back at him. "The dreams were my way to know. They were so realistic, like the ones Clary said she had, and I knew it. I knew it and I chose to ignore them, not wanting to know the reality of the situation I had left her in; how horribly I had failed her. I let you and everyone else talk me out of my belief that they were real and for that, I am the biggest fool in the world."
"You have always tortured yourself for your perceived wrongdoings. I thought that that was your way of torturing yourself for not being there and saving her." Alec replies, trying to offer up some defense for him. There is still sadness in his voice when he says that that is directed at himself. "But Jace, I need you to know how sorry I am." He takes a step closer to him. "What I saw that day...was real. At least it was to my eyes and now, because of that, I've put you in the worst position I could have ever put you in."
Silence engulfs the room. Jace turns around as he tries to make sense of everything that has happened. "For years, I was completely lost," Jace says sadly to the wall in front of him. "I was lost because I had lost my soulmate, my love and life, Clary. I was angry and cold and hated everyone and everything. And then...Evie came along. Her along with you, Alec, made it better. Made not having Clary with me bearable. Evie was understanding and supportive and she didn't let me push her away like I did everyone else. And then, I fell in love with her. She was able to make me truly happy again. With her, the pain of losing Clary was easier to bear because she smoothed over those rough edges around my heart. When I lost her, it left a hole in me that was jagged and sharp around the edges and Evie buffed them out with her love, reminding me that Clary would want me to be happy."
He snorts out a quick breath of air at the irony of it all.
Now that he had finally found someone that he loved and that made him happy, Clary comes back and now she is the one that is heartbroken and lost. The look on her face when she yelled at him when he went after her will haunt him forever. She looked so completely...broken. The Seelie Queen had done everything to try and break her but never succeeded what he had managed to do in the one second when Evie kissed him. He broke her. He broke the woman he was hopelessly in love with.
"And now, I feel like I'm being punished; punished for not listening to the dreams that Ithuriel sent me. Just a couple of hours after I marry Evie, I get Clary back. The whole reason I was broken in the first place and Evie was there to fix me was because I had lost Clary. I lost my soulmate, the one I had always known was meant for me, only to find her just hours after I promised myself to another. I'm in love with two women now and I have no idea what the right thing to do is." Jace looks at the tiny puddle his tears are making on the floor before wiping his eyes and turning to face Alec and Magnus. "If I'm not being punished for something, then why do I now have to make a choice that will break my own heart?"
"And what choice do you have to make?" Magnus asks quietly, sadness and pity etched on his face.
"Whether or not I want to keep the sacred promise I just made yesterday to Evie, to be her husband, or go after Clary, not knowing if she'll have me after I failed her so egregiously," he replies. His voice mirrors his features perfectly. Broken and hurting.
"Then tell me this, Jace." Magnus says, sitting up straight. "Would you have married Evie if Clary had come back an hour before the wedding?"
Dun, dun, dun! That's the million dollar question! What will Jace say? What will he do? Will he keep the vows he made to Evie or break them and go after Clary?
As always, thanks a trillion for reading and don't forget to follow and review!
