A/N. Haven't updated in a while. Was struck with inspiration while playing Don't Step on the White Tile, or some version thereof I should say. It is frighteningly addictive and I am unnecessarily stubborn.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!


Target 7: Night Terrors


She felt ashamed of herself, had felt ashamed herself for a long time, but this was just another load to add to the pile of already mountainous proportions. All her guilt and regrets, the things she'd been ashamed of, that she couldn't shake no matter where she ran to, how hard she tried to hide. It all accumulated in the back of her mind, where she then oppressed them even further, burying them as far down as she could, as deep in darkness as she could make it go, so it wouldn't plague her during the daytime. But she was awake then, capable of stopping any wayward thoughts by busying herself with whatever mundane tasks she could think to do on a computer. So long as she could keep her mind from wandering… Just a little bit longer…

She couldn't stop her brain from thinking, couldn't stop her mind from wandering when she was asleep though.

Sometimes nightmares turned into night terrors.

She'd stopped sleeping at all, that first year after she'd dropped out of school, and basically the face of the earth as a whole. They'd gotten so bad back then she wasn't ever entirely sure if she was awake or not, trapped somewhere between sleep-depraved delusions and her own memories.

The small, yellow, rubber ball flew right over her head, and into the middle of the empty street nearby…

She'd turned herself, willingly or not, into her own enemy...

"Don't worry! I'll get it!" "Wait, watch out for tha-!"

Was the nemesis she couldn't put to rest, because gods above and below, the memories just too much sometimes, everything was and back then she'd been too afraid to close her eyes for even a second.

A bloody shoe, once pure white, now stained an ugly shade of red she really hadn't needed to see…

The images had been so vivid, making her relive that day…

Why? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy nonononononononononowhatthehellhadjusthappened?redredredeverywherewhysomuch…

She'd woken up covered in a pool of her own sweat, eyes wide and crazed with the thought of being covered in blood racing through her veins. There was a scream locked somewhere deep within her throat, terrified as she was, she still somehow managed to swallow it down though. It took a little bit, in her confusion to realize that the wet feeling on her face wasn't sweat, at least not completely. She couldn't really do much for it though, not any of it. Not the dreams, not the memories, not her regrets.

She'd wished on a thousand stars once, to just be able to redo that day over again, make it so what happened hadn't. If anybody'd had to die that day, it should've been her, should've been Tsumiko who wasn't sitting here trembling in fear from monsters concocted from her own imagination, should've been…

She could've been the sister that Ryohei needed to dote on so much, the support pillar her own brother required for whatever it was Reborn was training or teaching him for. She could've been so much better at this. All Tsumiko could do was sit and cry to herself, scream and yell at others, and leave herself in pieces on the floor.

Because as hard as she was trying, had been trying these past few years, she just couldn't…

Keeping it together was lot harder than it sounded.

She would've checked that feed, that one string of strange existential question filled comments that same stranger with probably too much time on their hands had started up. But he, or maybe she, hadn't updated in a couple of weeks. Maybe they'd finally decided that they'd had enough, or maybe they figured there was something more productive they could be doing than wasting away on the internet like she was right now. Shame really, because if they had than she didn't have a distraction, and she wasn't sure what else she could convince herself to do in order to avoid going to sleep for say… the rest of her life maybe.

"I…I… What should I do? I mean… You were always better at this living thing than I was… Happier, more helpful, more useful… I'm just… I…" She sighed, not sure what she was trying to say. What could you say to someone who was dead, long gone for some time and definitely not coming back? It didn't feel right hating her for what had happened, but gods was it unfair for her to be left behind like this. "Kyoko, what should I do?" she pleaded finally, rubbing her hands together in a nervous sort of fashion that left her feeling all kinds of stupid and childish.

But she was still a child, wasn't she?

She certainly didn't feel like it. No, right now she just felt empty. And maybe more than just a little sick to her stomach at the moment. She hadn't eaten much, but after the nightmares, specifically the really bad ones, she couldn't keep much of anything down for long after waking up. She didn't want to go to the bathroom though, and she wasn't about to lose it in her bedroom. Either way, there was a high chance her brother would hear her moving and get up to check on her. And after that last fight they'd both been doing their own part to avoid each other as much as possible, she wasn't about to change that just yet. Or maybe not at all if she could help it.

Yes, not talking to her perfect twin brother sounded like a splendid idea. Her perfect twin brother who wasn't falling apart at the seams, wasn't waking up half crazed from night terrors that just wouldn't go… or maybe he was, she didn't know what he had gone through in his time in Italy with their possibly highly deranged father. For all she knew, he could've been through far worse, and dealing with Reborn seemed to be traumatizing enough for just one day, to have to deal with him regularly on a daily basis would probably give anyone cause enough to avoid sleep as much as she was trying to right now.

A broken laugh escaped her lips, whether she wanted it to or not, and she stared distantly at her hands.

"We're fucked up, aren't we?" You know, she really wished the room would stop spinning.


A/N. So this is probably the most disturbing thing I have ever written. Probably not for the softest of hearts. Anyways, I hoped you guys enjoyed the chapter… Wait, can I actually say that? Um… You know what, never mind. Please leave a review and tell me what you think. And I'll try and get the new chapter for this out soon-ish.