Title: What A Nutter Of A World
Rating:R
Summary: Everyone knows that Snape is dead, Harry saw him die in the Shrieking Shack, but now there is a conspiracy theory going around that Snape is alive and well. Everyone believes it but Hermione Granger and she's determine to prove it. Lets see what happens when she finds out that it might be true and if it is, who saved his life and more over who's hiding him? Based on the WIKTT Conspiracy Theory Challenge.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
To Southernswimmer: Thanks for your kind words. I really miss my kitty as well.
To TheJoyCrux: Thanks for your review and you'll get your answer in this chapter.
To severussgrl: I was trying to keep Hermione in character but I guess it didn't work.
To Sampdoria: You'll find out a lot of things that were on your mind in this chapter.
To notwritten: Thanks for your review and here's the answer to the question about who's eating the food.
11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
Chapter 9: Hermione's Shocker
Hermione's mother ran into the room, a shocked look on her face. Hermione couldn't believe that her spell that she had placed on the floor, which would detect anyone that wasn't suppose to be in the room, had worked.
"What happened?" her mother asked as Hermione approched the prone body. "Is that the Weasley guy?"
"I think so," Hermione answered, her wand now pointed at the body.
"W-What are you going to do?" her mother asked timidly.
Hermione knew exactly what she would do. If this was Ron she would hand him over to the Ministry. If it wasn't, then she would do whatever she could to prevent him, or her, from harming her or her mother.
"Stand back!" Hermione ordered her mother and then turned the figure over.
If Hermione had ever been shocked in her life then this would of taken first place to finding out that Remus Lupin had been a werewolf. The face of a man that she had seen die was staring right at her, looking very much alive. Her mother was a little confused and she wasn't the only one. Now that the shock was over, she was as confused as anyone would be.
"Hermione-."
"I can't believe it!" Hermione stated, cutting her mother off. "He's dead! He has to be!"
"Hermione, what's going on here?" Hermione's mother asked.
"I don't know, but I'm going to find out." Hermione vowed and pointed her wand at Snape's head. "Ennervate!"
His eyes snapped open and the look that he gave her wasn't the look that she was use to getting when she had been his student. It was a look of complete surprised, which Hermione was glad about. All this time she had snapped at everyone, telling them that Snape was dead, but here he was alive and well.
"Explain, Snape, because I'm really furious right now," Hermione snarled. "How come your not dead?"
"Sorry to disappoint you, Miss Granger," Snape snapped. "Now-."
"I'm not letting you up until you explain to me why your not dead," Hermione snarled, pressing her wand against his cheek.
"Hermione!" her mother cried out. "I think you can ask him questions with him setting up."
Hermione, at once, hated her mother but she removed her wand. She forced him to stand up and then ordered him to sit in one of the chairs that was in her room. She sat on her bed, still glaring at him, upset that she had been fooled into believing that he was dead.
"Now why aren't you dead?" Hermione asked again.
"Because I'm not," Snape answered. "And I would think that you would be happy that I didn't become another victim of the Dark Lord."
"Would you quite calling him that," Hermione snapped. "His real name is Tom Riddle. He got his own-."
"I know what he did to his family," Snape snapped back, cutting her off.
"Oh-."
"Why don't you two stop snapping at each other," Hermione's mother yelled, causing both of them to look at her. "Why can't you be happy that he's not dead."
Hermione glared at her mother and then turned back to him.
"Okay, how did you survive?" Hermione asked him. "Because me, Harry, and Ron, saw you die."
"Because I took small doses of Nagini's venom in the form of a potion," Snape answered.
Hermione stared at him, shocked.
"B-But that means that you knew you would die?"
"Of course," Snape said. "Do you really think that the D-Tom Riddle would let a powerful wizard run the school? He thought that I might still be loyal to Dumbledore."
"And you didn't tell Dumbledore's painting about your insane plan?" Hermione said. Snape grinned and this made Hermione angry. "Oh your really something else!"
Snape grinned again.
"Can I ask you a question?" Hermione's mother asked suddenly to Snape.
Hermione stared at her. How could she ask any questions? She wanted to ask all the questions.
"Have you been eating the food?"
Hermione felt bowled over by the questions. Why hadn't she asked him that question?
"Yes, I have," Snape answered.
"And are you the cat?" Hermione asked, thinking about how Peter had fooled the Wizarding World in thinking that he was dead by changing into his animagi form.
"Yes, but I don't like it," Snape answered. "I was cursed by my mother."
Hermione was shocked by this.
"But, what do you mean that your mother cursed you?"
Snape looked as though he didn't want to answer but with the fact that Hermione had a wand and he didn't, he decided to answer it.
"I told my mother before I was supposely killed that I needed her to get me. She did, but then cursed me into a cat because of what she thought I did to the former Headmaster," Snape explained. "During the day I'm a cat and during the night I'm a human."
"And have you been watching me?" Hermione asked him.
Snape snorted.
"No, I haven't," Snape answered. "Why do you think that I would think that you were anything to look at. I was in the bloody closet after you picked out what in hell you were going to wear. Gods, I didn't know one witch could decide what to wear. And your choice as Weasley as your-."
"He's not my boyfriend!" Hermione hissed. "He a git and I'll send him to Azkaban with a snap of my fingers."
Snape gave her a look that he didn't believe it. She decided that it would be for the best if she left before she really did kill him.
