Chapter 9

When someone comes out, good friends usually go into inspirational speeches about how they accept the person for who they are and don't care about their sexuality. However, the only thing I could manage to do was stare at Phil with my jaw slacked like a handless puppet.

"You're bisexual? Seriously?" I asked, dumbfounded. That sounded too good to be true, the guy I like suddenly coming out as bi. Those things only happened in movies and fictional stories.

Phil squared his shoulders and stared me dead in the eyes. "I wouldn't joke about something like this, Dan." My mind began to spin when I realized he was serious.

"Wow," I said to myself, taking a seat on the bed and letting out breath. "Sorry, it's just I didn't expect this. Does anyone else know?" Phil bit the inside of his mouth as he considered the question. I wondered if he'd ever cut the inside of his cheek by doing that.

"Most of my family knows, but nobody at school." I nodded slowly, processing the new information. I didn't really blame Phil for not being out to the school yet. I don't think I would have come out if I'd had a choice.

"Is your family okay with you being bi?" I asked cautiously, afraid of stepping on a land mine.

"My parents and brother are supportive, and they're the only people who matter to me." He paused and chuckled to himself. "They told me they don't care who I like as long as I'm happy. Kind of corny, huh?"

I frowned, not finding the humor in his joke.

"At least your parents actually listened to you when you came out," I said bitterly, unable to stop the pang of envy I felt at hearing how supportive Phil's parents had been. Why couldn't my dad say those things to me, or at least acknowledge that part of me?

"Your mom seems really cool about you being gay though," Phil said casually, sitting down next to me and leaning back on his arms.

"It's not her, it's my dad. He completely ignores me when I try to talk to him about being gay." I let my shoulders slump in defeat as I felt all the energy leave my body.

Phil gave me a look of pity and hesitantly put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Dan. That's must be tough."

I shook my head and faced him. "It's fine, sorry for making this about me after you went through the trouble of coming out." I groaned, "Ugh, I'm such an inconsiderate idiot." Here I was, complaining about my dad not being supportive, but I was just as bad as he was.

"Don't say that." Phil frowned and let go of my shoulder in favor of my hand. "This is nothing compared to coming out to the whole school. That takes real guts, Dan."

I pursed my lips together in a straight line, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.

"It's not like that, Phil. I…" I took a deep breath and moved my hand away. "I came out because I was afraid Jason would out me to the school. I figured, I'd rather do it myself than have someone else do it for me. I'm not-… I'm not the brave guy you think I am." I let my head fall between my shoulder along with my spirits, too ashamed to meet his eyes.

The bed shifted and my stomach fell. Was he so disappointed that he needed to leave?

I thought for sure he would turn his back on me after knowing the truth, but he surprised me when instead he tilted my chin up with his thumb and index finger and forced me to meet his gaze.

"That doesn't change the fact that it took courage to do what you did. You were the one who had to come out and face everyone the next day, not Jason. Don't let him take that away from you."

I felt my eyes start to tear up at his kind words. "You know, Phil, you're actually a good guy. A really good guy. I can't believe I thought you were some kind of thug when I first met you." I shook my head at how absurd the notion sounded now that I knew Phil better. He was nothing like the rumors had painted him to be. He was so much more than that.

He could be a goof at times but he was wiser then he let on. He was also an optimist while I was more pessimistic in my views, not to mention how stubborn he was. Every time I pushed him away he only pushed back while anybody else would had given up by now. He was always smiling when it was just us two and was protective of the people close to him. He was also surprisingly shameless which made me want to strangle him and kiss him all at the same time. Despite his looks, Phil was one of the kindness people I knew.

I was about to tell him this, but froze when I saw his face. Maybe I had spoken too soon.

Phil was slyly smirking at me, his eyes glinting with mischief. "You know," he drawled, "I can be bad when I want to."

Before I knew what was happening, Phil had pushed me down on the bed and was laid down top of me.

I blushed beet red. "What are you-"

Before I could finish talking, Phil sat up on my lap and started tickling my sides, making me burst out in uncontrollable laughter.

"Staaahp!" I tried to say in-between streams of laughter, attempting to push him away and failing terribly.

"Never!" His rich laughter bounced through the room as he let his fingers run free. They grazed along the skin on my lower stomach, leaving pleasant tingles in their place and making me blush three shades of red. Luckily, Phil was oblivious to how I was feeling, assuming my reddened face was from me laughing too hard.

After a lot of squirming and twisting, I was finally able to push him off me.

"You're horrible," I said, still laughing.

"Told you so." He turned over and grinned at me. I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't hide the smile on my face even if I tried.

We laid back down, this time side by side, trying to catch our breath, and settled in comfortable silence. Once my breathing had evened out, I turned to look at him.

"How long have you known you were bisexual?" I asked, suddenly wanting to know as much as I could about the boy lying next to me.

Phil looked up at the ceiling as if deep in thought. "I guess, I always knew that I was attracted to both girls and boys, but I didn't want to accept it. I ignored my attraction to boys and only dated girls for a while. But recently, I started feeling more comfortable with myself."

"Why is that?"

Phil looked away and smiled to himself, before turning over to me. "I started liking this boy at school and I couldn't deny it anymore."

The way Phil was looking at me as he said that made my heart start to beat faster and my face heat up. I wasn't sure why I was blushing or feeling so self-conscious all of a sudden. I wanted to ask who his crush was, but I didn't want to be nosy.

I bit my lip. Could he be talking about me? No, I thought, and I shook my head. There was no way Phil was referring to me. I was too much off a mess, too weird for anyone to like me. I was probably making up signs in my head, seeing what I wanted to see.

"You okay Dan?"

"Y-yeah." No.

I cleared my throat and tried to change the subject. "Do you think you'll ever come out to the school?"

Our school wasn't necessarily homophobic, per-say. It was like any other school; some people were very supportive while others were indifferent to homosexuality. I just happened to get more hate for it because Jason turned everyone against me.

Phil sighed and sat up. "I'm not as brave as you, Dan. I want to think I'll eventually do it, but I'm not sure when that'll be." He smiled sadly at me and I felt my heart go out to him.

"I…I didn't feel brave at all when I came out. I was absolutely terrified about how people would react and treat me afterwards. I had to write my coming out post three times because my hands wouldn't stop shaking long enough for me to type.

"Even now, I still get anxious when I have to tell people that I'm gay. You never know how some people will react." I paused to gather my thoughts. "I guess what I'm saying is that coming out isn't easy and you shouldn't feel pressure to do it like I did. You should do it when you're ready." I mumbled the last part and lowered my gaze, suddenly feeling embarrassed for going off into a rambling tangent.

Phil sat up and turned toward me. "Dan, look at me, please." I slowly met his gaze, blushing at our proximity. I could feel his warm breath on my face. He smiled gently at me and pulled me into a warm hug. "Thank you for saying all that."

I sighed and melted into the hug. I was about to wrap my arm around him when the door slammed open. Phil jerked away and I scrambled to make myself look acceptable.

"Hey boys, do you want something to drin-" my mom stopped to smirk at us, lowering the two cups of lemonade in her hands. "Am I interrupting something?"

My face flushed pink as my mouth opened in horror. Phil, on the other hand, looked extremely amused by the whole ordeal. That spork.

I spoke, "No, you didn't, Mom. God, have you ever heard of knocking?" I covered my face with my hands to avoid looking at anyone. I could distinctly hear Phil snickering next to me.

"Why do I need to knock if you aren't doing anything?" Oh God, could she be any more embarrassing?

"Mom, please just leave the drinks on the table and go…just go."

My mom giggled as she walked away, closing the door with a thud.

Phil choose that moment to burst out laughing.

I glared at him. "You're terrible."

"Aw come on, Danny, that was pretty funny." I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help blush at the nickname.

"Whatever."

Phil looked at his watch and frowned.

"I should be heading home. It's getting kind of late." I watched as he picked up his stuff and got ready to leave. "I'll see you at school."

I don't know what came over me, but before he could leave I grabbed him by his sleeve. "I umm, take back what I said. I wouldn't mind being friends with you, Phil."

Phil seemed shocked at first, but then he flashed me a dazzling smile. "I told you I would get you to be my friend somehow." I laughed and shook my head. I don't know how it happened, but Phil slowly became someone I could confide in and be myself around. He was now a constant in my life and I couldn't say I was unhappy about it.

A/N I am alive! Don't worry I am planning on finishing this story even if it pains me. I must have re-written this chapter three time and I'm still not sure I like it. Oh, well.

Anybody out there reading this, thank you for sticking with this story. I know is not your typical fanfiction in the sense that it has a slower pace. However, this was done intentional from my part.

The thing that I find most annoying is when two characters don't even know each other and they are already ready to jump in bed together. I want this story to be as realistic as a fanfiction can get. So that being said, I hope you don't mind the lack of phan so far. I tried to compensate by sprinkling some in this chapter lol.