Song: Somebody that I used to Know by Gotye
BPOV
We finally arrived at Jasper's place in Texas, it was beautiful. His place was a big country house in the middle of a field with a stable and a huge barn next to it. The boys had already taken our bags in so we could just relax. I sat down at the kitchen's breakfast bar and sighed happily as Jasper hugged me from behind. Esme and Carlisle were cooking my dinner, Rosalie was showering, Emmett was unpacking and Alice was sulking in the corner.
"You guys don't have to cook for me, its your vacation too!" I said feeling slightly guilty about them always cooking for me-half the time I was never that hungry and usually wasted most of it. I guess that's what parents do.
"Bella don't me silly! I love to cook for you!" Esme dismissed me with the wave of her skinny hand and continued chopping up onions quickly. I smiled at her motherly attitude, Carlisle suddenly turned to me.
"Isabella, would it be okay if you read to me what you wrote in your notebook?" Carlisle asking, I blushed not realising he knew I had written something. I loved my notebook, my thoughts deserved a decent place to live even though none of us had ever had an original thought. I took it out and began to feel nervous; the Cullen's really had boosted my confidence throughout my time with them. Rosalie and Emmett joined us in the kitchen busying themselves. I inhaled before I spoke.
"Today I am wearing lacy black underwear
For the sole purpose of knowing I am wearing them.
And underneath that?
I am absolutely naked.
And I've got skin. Miles and miles of skin;
I've got skin to cover all my thoughts
like saran wrap that you can see through
to what leftovers are inside from the night before.
And despite what you might think, my skin is not rough; nor is it bullet proof.
My skin is soft, and smooth, and easily scarred.
But that doesn't matter, right?
You don't care about how soft my skin is.
You just want to hear about what my fingers do in the dark.
But what if all they do is crack open windows?
So I can see lightening through the clouds.
What if all they crave is a jungle gym to climb for a taste of fresher air?
What if all they reach for is a notebook or a hand to hold?
But that's not the story you want.
You are licking your lips and baring your teeth.
Just once I would like to be the direction someone else is going.
I don't need to be the water in the well.
I don't need to be the well.
But I'd like to not be the ground anymore.
I'd like to not be the thing people dig their hands in anymore.
Some girls know all the lyrics to each other's songs.
They find harmonies in their laughter.
Their linked elbows echo in tune.
What if I can't hum on key?
What if my melodies are the ones nobody hears?
Some people can recognize a tree,
A front yard, and know they've made it home.
How many circles can I walk in before I give up looking?
How long before I'm lost for good.
It must be possible to swim in the ocean of the one you love without drowning.
It must be possible to swim without becoming water yourself.
But I keep swallowing what I thought was air.
I keep finding stones tied to my feet."
I noticed that when I got halfway through my poem everyone had stopped what they were doing, Esme had stopped cooking, Rosalie had stopped cleaning, Emmett had stopped unpacking my food, Alice's eyes were wide open and Jasper and Carlisle were staring at me with love and adoration. I blushed and clapped the notebook shut.
"Its just a stupid poem" I said feeling embarrassed. I tucked hair behind my ear as Jasper kissed the side of my head lovingly.
"Isabella, you have talent. Give yourself some credit!" Carlisle reassured me as everyone still looked shocked at my poem. It was personal, it reminded me of Edward and I's relationship, he never loved me he just wanted what all the other boys did; my body. Jasper and I began unpacking in our stunning room, I suddenly stopped and watched Jasper as he unpacked. I walked up behind him wrapping my arms around his waist; he turned around keeping my arms around his waist, he kissed my lightly at first but I soon deepened the kiss. He caressed my cheek with his hands as I dug mine in his hair-the hair I loved. My Jasper.
"I love you" he whispered leaning his head against mine gently, "I-I never knew love like this...I-I didn't know another way" Jasper's voice cracked as he held back tears thinking of his unkind upbringing. I silenced him with one kiss.
"You don't ever have to be that again! I love you too...always" I whispered-he squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. "I'm going to go to the barn and write for a while, see you later!" I said as he chuckled and carried on with unpacking. I ran over to the barn, sat on a hay bale with my headphones in and notebook in hand; suddenly my headphones were rudely yanked from my ears by none other than Alice, "What to you want Alice?" I sighed tiredly.
"Do you know why Jasper built this house?" she asked making me feel curious, "he built it for our honeymoon. We had sex on the bed you and him are sleeping in, we cuddled on the couch you had dinner on, we loved each other in that house. He loved me. Don't think you're special Bella, you aren't." she taunted circling me. With that she left leaving me to feeling gross and worthless, leaving me to feel like every other girl because I was.
