Chapter Nine – Things

May2022

I am too quick, there is a shield in place before his spell reaches its target.

"AL! What the hell do you think you are doing?" Roxanne screams.

"What am I doing? What are you doing?"

"Your tried to hex him – are you mad?" Roxanne screams.

"He was holding your hand!" Potter protests.

"Because I let him! Besides, that doesn't give you an excuse to hex him!"

"But- but- it's Malfoy!"

"I know who he is! In fact, I know a hell of a lot more about him that you do because I actually took the time to talk to him!"

"Talk! That didn't look like talking!" He screams.

"Oh shut up Potter, you're a fine one to talk," I cannot believe I said that out loud. Every eye in the room turns to look at me – so much for Roxanne and Scorpius talking the attention away from me. Potter just stares at me… Well this is awkward.

"Today we will be making Strengthening Potion, as it takes a few days to mature, we will finish it next lesson…" Zabini doesn't even look up as speaks – completely oblivious to what just happened in his classroom. He begins to explain the uses of the potion when he realises no one is really listening to him. "Mr Potter… Miss Weasley… Mr Malfoy… May I ask why you are all standing up?" Roxanne blushes and Scorp mutters an apology as they both go to sit down again. Potter just continues to stare at me. "Mr Potter…?" I glare at him and he at last turns away and sits down next to Max Jordan who looks torn between amusement and fear.

No one speaks for the rest of Potions; everyone is terrified that they will set Potter off again. I refuse to look at him but I can feel his eyes on me throughout the lesson. Roxanne and Scorp resume holding hands but thankful do so under the table out of sight. No one even dares look around, focusing themselves entirely on their potion. The lesson seems endless but when at last Zabini dismisses us, Scorp, Roxanne and I decide we might as well go to the Great Hall for lunch… no need to fuel the rumours with a random disappearing act.

We are just passing through the archway into the Great Hall when I hear her. Rose Weasley.

The tension that surrounds us shatters as everyone turns to stare at the three of us and the flaming redhead now approaching us.

"I can't believe you!" Rose screams… at Roxanne. "How could you do this is me? Surely you must have known how I felt! Surely you must have KNOWN I was in love with him! How COULD you!"

Huh?

"Rose-"

"You used to tell me everything! I thought you were my friend… And if that's not bad enough, you are my cousin, we are family." Rose has tears streaming down her face and her hair is sticking out in all directions. "We are supposed to stick together not go stabbing each other in the back!"

Roxanne is staring at her cousin as if she has grown an extra head… or two.

"Ican't believe it…" Rose sobs; she is now only inches from Roxanne and I can see her hand begin to rise. Roxanne sees it too but does not move – I think she is still trying to understand what on earth is going on, her and everyone else. Rose's palm makes a nice sound as it comes into contact with Roxanne's cheek. No one moves.

"HOW COULD YOU!" Rose screams one last time before turning on her heal and running from the Entrance Hall before anyone has time to draw breath. As soon as she is out of sight, whispers break out once again through the Hall and spread like wildfire across the school. Why? Why am I always in the middle of everything these days? I never used to be, I used to be the girl everyone knew by sight but the one no one really knew about… Now everyone knows my business and the business of those around me.

People begin moving again and I turn to follow Scorp and Roxanne into the Great Hall only to find neither of them has moved yet, Scorp is trying to get Roxanne's attention but she is just standing there, frozen, staring at the spot where her cousin disappeared. Scorp looks at me, begging for help.

"Roxanne!" I yell in her face, she turns her blank eyes on me. "Come on," grabbing her arm I steer her away from the Great Hall and down towards the kitchens, the house elves must be sick of us by now.

"Mistress Potter, Mr Malfoy… is something the matter with Mistress Weasley?" Dippy comes running up to us as we stumble through the portrait. "Dippy will get her some warm butterbeer," she says decisively running off to get Roxanne a drink.

"Thank you Dippy," I smile and she blushes slightly, mumbling something about it being an honour – my respect for House Elves is ever increasing. I turn back to Roxanne and Scorpius, the latter is still trying to get Roxanne's attention but she is staring into nothingness. "Well that was unexpected…" Great, now I have reverted to stating the obvious in uncomfortable situations, what is happening to me?

"I don't understand…" Roxanne whispers.

"Well, how should I phrase this – Rose Weasley appears to be in love with Scorpius Malfoy. I know it doesn't sound right but that is the only possible explanation, she claimed to being love with someone and was angry with you, therefor it is only logical that you have taken her 'love interest' so to speak." Oh Merlin, I sound like I belong in some awful drama production that my parents always used to drag me too – you need a bit of culture Vivi dear.

"But- but she would have told me, she would have said something before… I had no idea… She tells me everything... It can't be right…" Apparently I am the only one here willing to accept the obvious.

Dippy hobbles over and informs us there is a Mistress Coote and a Mistress Jones outside wanting to see Mistress Weasley. Scorpius doesn't seem to have heard so I go over to the portrait to see two girls with the famous red and gold of Gryffindor sewn onto their robes.

"Can I help?"

"We just want to see if Roxie's alright, the House Elf won't let us in," explains the shorter of the two girls.

"She'll be fine, she's just in shock."

"Look," buts in the other girl. "Roxie is our friend and we would like to see her, I'm sure if you just told her we were here she would come and see us." I turn my back on the girls and look over to see Roxanne sobbing lightly into Scorpius' shirt.

"Uh… Roxanne is occupied at the moment; I think it's probably best if we just leave her alone, Scorp will look after her." The taller girl looks hesitant and a weary look passes over her face at the mention of Scorpius but the smaller one tugs on her sleeve and they disappear down the corridor. I wander in the other direction.

The Great Hall is alive with whispers – it's not every day that two Weasley cousins fall for the same boy, let alone a Malfoy. I go over to the Slytherin table only to find Scorpius isn't there, I should have guessed, so I sit between to Violet and Miriam knowing the latter won't start talking to me.

"You alright?" I ask Violet.

"Not too bad, believe it or not but this Rose-Roxanne-Scorpius love triangle added to the Albus-James-Vivian triangle has created so many rumours that not even I can keep up with them all." Violet Briggs… unable to keep up with rumours? That just doesn't sound right.

"Have you seen Rose?" I ask heaping potatoes on my plate.

"Yeah, she came in a few minutes before you," glancing at the Gryffindor table I see Rose looking sulky as the girls who came looking for Roxanne earlier sit either side of her, trying to comfort her. "Roxanne is still a no-show."

"Yeah, I think her and Scorp are still down in the kitchens." I hear a cough behind me and turn. He has caught me off guard and my heart jumps into my mouth: James.

"Could I have a word please?" His voice is void of emotion as I silently get up (ignoring Violet's comment of 'way to fuel the rumours') and follow him out of the Great Hall. Neither of us speaks as we turn down corridor after corridor.

"How are you?" he asks at last.

"Okay." We elapse into silence again; he seems to be trying to form the words in his mind.

"Did you know about Roxanne and Malfoy?"

"Yes."

"Do you think he will treat her well? He won't hurt her?"

"Yes and no, he would never hurt her, he really likes her, I have never seen him like this."

"Hmm…"

"James, just spit it out."

"Vivian Iris Potter… Why did you do it?"

"Do what? Get married or get pregnant?"

"Both."

"I got married because I was pregnant and I got pregnant because I had sex with a guy. I thought that was obvious." He gives me a weird look, probably to be expected. "Family honour. I wouldn't expect you to understand, for some families, honour comes before happiness. The Nott's are a very traditional family and in this case, tradition overcame my father's rivalry and prejudice of your family. My parents didn't marry for love and they have a simple, uncomplicated marriage so if it worked for them, logically there is no reason it should not work for me… I know it's not that simple but it is in my father's eyes. I respect my father, I respect and honour the name of Nott because it is what I have been brought up to do and something like that is very powerful. I did not want to be a disgrace. Honour and loyalty come before emotions, before anything. Loyalty to your family… My father expected me to be a loyal daughter…"

"And are you?"

"I was – I understood his values – but now…"

"Now you're married."

"Now I'm married."

"If only-"

"If only things had been different? What's the point in asking that question James? Things are the way they are… Nothing can change that."

"There's always hope."

"And to balance the hope, there is always despair, the trick is to find a balance. I need to find that balance, James, and so do you." I turn my head slightly to look at him and I can see the glistening trail of a tear running down his cheek. My fractured heart lurches beneath my ribs, if only… "James," I whisper and at last he stops walking and turns towards me.

"I love you." It comes out in a rush and I wonder at first if I heard him correctly.

"James…"

"I love you Vivian, I never thought I would ever really feel this; I never really believed in love, I was happy to just fool around with girls, I never understood why anyone would want to commit themselves to just one girl – especially at this age – but I understand that now… Even if it is too late."

"James, I love you too but-" my voice catches.

"No, listen Vivian, I love you and I can't image loving anyone else but I want you to be happy… There is always hope. Al's a good kid, I think he really wants to be good enough for you and I know he will try, give him a chance Viv, give him a chance to make you happy-" James seems to be forcing the words out against his will, like he is saying them out of duty rather than willingness. "Forget about me."

It is only three words (the same amount of words as 'I love you') but is feels like a blade in my stomach – there is no way I could ever forget James. His face is contorted, like the words are causing him the same pain as they are me.

"Forget me and try to be happy," he whispers. "I know that I will love you for the rest of my life and I feel like a part of you will always be with me, just like a part of me will always be with you, but you need to give Al a chance… Forget about me." I stare at him, frozen to the spot, what is he saying? He takes his hands from my shoulders (I do not remember him putting them there) and forces himself to turn and walk down the corridor away from me.

"James…" I whisper. He does not turn around. I watch as he disappears around the corner and out of my sight. James.

The rest of the week passes by with no new drama; I hardly see Roxanne any more, she is stuck between her family (and friendship with Rose) and her feelings for Scorpius; Scorpius is getting all moody because Roxanne is being distant with him; Violet is the only one still acting normal; I never see James anymore; Albus acts like I do not exist and the rest of the Weasleys are more preoccupied with Rose and Roxanne's fall out than with their cousin's Slytherin wife.

The following weeks pass with a mixture of tears, stress and panic (well, not for me obviously but some people really do get far too worked up about this sort of thing) – OWLs. Personally I have no trouble with any of the exams, they really are not as hard as some people make out. With only a week left until the summer holidays begin no one really pays much attention in classes and the Professors barely bother trying to teach them anything.

June 2022

"Alright Viv?" Violet asks as she slides the door to my compartment open. I nod as she sits across from me, Scorpius joins us moments later, still moody about his situation with Roxanne.

"Cheer up Scorp," I nudge him with my foot. He just glares at me. "What you doing over the holidays?" I ask no one in particular.

"Not a lot, probably spend most of it with dad down south," Violet shrugs.

"Uh… I think we're going to Switzerland to see Grandmother Malfoy and then we are going to New York with Aunt Daphne and Uncle Kenneth."

"Sounds fun," smiles Violet; Scorpius grimaces.

"Yeah, sure… Spending your summer with an old woman who barely talks and spends most of her time staring out into the distance, then Aunt Daphne who is the most annoying woman you will ever come across-"

"Daphne Greengrass? I know her, she's friends with my mum. She's a cow… no offence."

"-None taken, but yeah and her husband is stupid beyond belief and they have no kids so I'm stuck with just my parents and Luciana."

"Who's Luciana?"

"Scorp's little sister, she's what, nine now?" Scorpius nods.

"I didn't know you had a little sister, so you're not completely on your own then? At least you have an ally, I have to deal with my parents on my own," she sighs.

The train ride back to Kings Cross continues in such a fashion, each of us talking about small irrelevant things, each of us keeping silent about the other things… Things like the fact I'm married and pregnant; like Violet's parents are divorced; like Scorpius is struggling without Roxanne.

At last the train comes to a halt at Platform 9¾.