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CHAPTER 9 REALISING
It was about six o'clock when the alarm went off and Charlie stirred. She rolled over and bashed her fist on her alarm clock. She wasn't in the mood for work. She'd had an interrupted sleep and found herself constantly thinking about Joey. It was like she'd been imprinted in Charlie's mind. Tattooed even. She could get rid of the imprint with some pain but the scar would always be there. That's what Charlie hated the most. Maybe she shouldn't get rid of the tattoo…
She forced herself out of bed, realising she was thinking way too much again. Careful not to wake Ruby, she took her uniform and went out for a shower.
"Morning."
Charlie was surprised to see Joey up so early. She was sitting at the table with a coffee and she greeted her with something less of a smile.
"Hey," Charlie replied. Then she remembered the jog with Nicole. "Nice morning for a jog." The sun was only just beginning to rise but there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was going to turn into a beautiful day.
"Yeah. I should go anyway." She washed out her cup and grabbed her keys.
Charlie was disappointed that she wasn't even up for conversation. It hurt her to think that maybe Joey was moving on. Maybe she was getting over her. As hard as it was to admit to herself, Charlie dreaded the fact that she could lose her. And she wasn't even with her. This made things all the worse.
"N… Nic, stop." Joey slowed to a halt and bent over, leaning on her knees and trying to catch her breath.
"Come on." Nicole bounced from one foot to the other. "Another ten."
Joey couldn't believe how fit Nicole was. "I'm so out of shape…"
"Well then." Nicole hit her softly on the arm. "We'd better get you into shape. Come on. Race you to the Diner."
Joey stood up straight, wiping her brow. "Fine. The loser buys the winner breakfast."
"Deal." Nicole grinned and took off down the beach, a few steps ahead of Joey. There was no competition. Joey hadn't been jogging in a while and it was obvious Nicole had been keeping up her fitness at the gym.
"Easy. Next time I want to see a bit of effort!" Nicole laughed as they walked into the Diner.
"I just let you win," Joey said with a shrug and a concealed smile. "I didn't want to damage your ego."
"Fighting words…" Nicole grinned.
Joey picked up breakfast for them both and they headed outside, sitting on the beach.
"There's nothing better than grilled cheese after a fat burning run," Nicole said, taking a bite of her toasted sandwich.
"You said it." Joey looked at Nicole a moment longer. She was attractive. Very attractive. She was glad Nicole didn't hold anything against her after she asked her out that time. She was sure they'd gotten passed that. But Joey didn't understand why Nicole wanted to hang out with her. She was gay and nobody hung out with the gay girl. Somehow, she didn't buy that Freya had kissed Nicole. Surely it had to be mutual. She didn't remember hearing that Nicole had pulled away or resisted. Maybe it was a cover up. Maybe she was like Charlie and wanted to deny who she truly was. Charlie. Why couldn't she be here with Charlie?
Nicole finished her sandwich and scrunched up the wrapper. "Thanks for breakfast. And the run." She smiled at Joey. "We should do it more often."
There was something about the way Nicole smiled at her. It didn't make her heart skip a beat like Charlie's smile, it was more that someone else had accepted her. That for once, someone didn't judge her. Someone other than Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. Why did everything have to come back to Charlie?
Without warning, Joey leaned over and kissed Nicole. She held it for a moment before Nicole finally pulled away.
Joey bit her lip, not even realising what she'd just done. "I… I'm sorry." How could she be so stupid?
"What am I? Like a chick magnet?" Nicole grinned, finding the humour in the situation.
Joey was clearly embarrassed. She couldn't bring herself to look at Nicole. "Nic, I'm sorry. I should… I have to go." She went to get up.
"Wait." Nicole grabbed her arm and stopped her. "What's going on?"
Joey paused. She couldn't withhold it anymore. "It's Charlie."
"Charlie?"
Joey nodded. She brought her knees up to her chest and sighed. "I can't stop thinking about her. She's amazing and I've never had such strong feelings about anyone before. I'm in love with her…"
"Wow." Nicole raised her eyebrows. "She did date my dad but she is hot, I must give her that."
Joey didn't respond.
"So… the kiss with me was just a distraction?"
Joey looked at Nicole. "I'm sorry."
"No, don't be sorry." Nicole let out a laugh. "I thought that's all it was. The kiss with Freya was just an act. Attention seeking I suppose."
There was a moment of silence.
"So what's happening then?" Nicole asked.
"Nothing." Joey leaned back on her elbows. "Charlie doesn't want to go there. I'm trying to get over her but it's hard. Way harder than I thought. It's like she's… I dunno… made a mark on my life. She's that special someone. I know it."
"But you want something to happen, right?"
Joey nodded. "More than anything."
Nicole crossed her legs. "Wow. Never would've picked Charlie to be gay. I thought she was dating Hugo."
"She says she's confused. But she keeps giving me signals and that's what's making it so much harder. Sometimes I think she wants something to happen but other times, like when she's with Hugo, I just don't know."
"Geez. I can totally see why she's holding back. I think it's all the talk that would come out of it. How do you deal with that? Like, guys like Trey?"
"It just comes with the territory. I guess you find out who your real friends are."
Nicole smiled. "Well, good luck with it all I guess. For your sake, I hope Charlie comes around. Not sure what Ruby will say but whatever. Sometimes life's about risks, right?"
Joey nodded. "Hey, thanks by the way. For listening. I've never been able to talk to anyone about this."
"No problem. I have to go catch up with Dad so I'll seeya later yeah?"
"Yeah. Seeya."
Nicole headed back into the Diner where she found Charlie sitting at a table having a coffee. She made her way over and sat down, not giving Charlie a chance to protest.
"Hey."
"Oh, hey Nicole."
Nicole could instantly tell Charlie had a lot on her mind. And she knew what it was about too.
"How was your run?"
Nicole nodded. "Yeah good. We had a good conversation too."
Charlie looked up. "What about?"
"Joey's totally in love with this girl. She's going like completely mad over her. I actually felt sorry for her. She kissed me to try and distract herself from her."
"She kissed you?" Charlie felt all the blood rush to her face. She didn't know what she was feeling. She knew she was jealous but a part of her was feeling guilty as hell.
"Yeah, it was brief. I mean, nothing to it. She's got it bad for whoever this girl is. She's pretty messed up over it. Apparently the girl doesn't want to act on her feelings because she's scared. I just think that's stupid. Imagine if everyone ignored their feelings. There'd be so many depressed people. What a way to live…"
Nicole saw Charlie think hard about what she'd just said. There was a moment when she almost saw the hint of a tear forming but Charlie immediately blinked it away.
"I say life's too short to hold back from anything. I just wish that girl would get over herself and take a chance."
Charlie was focused on the table, not shifting her eyes. Joey was hurting and it was all her fault. She couldn't see what this was really doing to her. Too much time had passed. Too much wasted time.
"Look, Nicole. I have to get to work." Charlie stood up. "I'll seeya later."
