Chapter 9: Wants and wishes.

"I have."


In one of my hands was the hem of my dress, I had gotten sick of it dragging along the floor, collecting all manner of things. In the other I held a vial of silver blue liquid, I was supposed to drink the stuff... It would send me home. As I turned a corner, I quickly stashed the vial in my research pocket, keeping it my little secret as Kili ran over to me with Ori close behind.

"Clary! We've been looking for you everywhere!" Kili called, I smiled tightly and then stopped in front of him. "Where have you been?"

"With Gandalf talking to Elrond, don't worry about that either, Gandalf kept everything cordial." I said, he nodded and settled to let the issue slide. "This is unusual, where's your brother?" Kili smirked.

"Concerned are you?" He asked slyly, I rolled my eyes and pinched his shoulder hard, it hardly bothered him at all. "I'm sorry, did you pinch me?" He asked, I sighed. "Fee's on the field with Thorin, they're sparring, we just came in for the toilet."

"That's more than I needed to know actually. Lead on." I said, turning around so that I could follow them both. We came to the field, all of the Dwarves were sparring with each other, except Dori and Oin who were sitting on a blanket with Bilbo on the edge of the fighting. "I'll go and sit with Dori." I said, the pair nodded and moved away from me as I squinted at the grey, angry sky.

"I think it's likely to rain." Balin shouted over the noise of his match with Bofur, I nodded and met Fili's eyes, hiding my guilt as I smiled at him.

"Hadn't you better go inside then? Since none of you are scheduled to bathe for another day or so?" I called, hearing some of them agreeing but most of them not.

"It'll be fine." Dwalin replied gruffly. "Training in the rain improves footwork." He added, straining against Thorin. With a roll of my eyes, I looked over at Bilbo, who was staring at the ground with a pink face.

"What's up little Dude?" I asked, he looked at me in shock and then smiled, turning even pinker.

"I was just thinking about some of the books I've read here. They've been quite interesting." He replied quietly, I smiled.

"In what way?" I questioned, he didn't answer, Bilbo cleared his throat and got up, making excuses about needing to find Gandalf.

"Do you want a go Clary?" Fili called, a massive grin on his sweaty face, I laughed and shook my head.

"Oh I'd love to but I'm afraid this dress might have something to say about it." I replied, he laughed and then shook his head, jogging over and offering me his hand. "You're not serious are you?" He nodded, I laughed again and then took his hand, allowing him to pull me up.

"Of course, no woman should be let defenceless."

"Well then I'm afraid I'm quite useless." I argued, running along with him to an empty corner of the field. "Alright then, what first?" Fili didn't say anything, just laughed loudly and beckoned Kili over.

"I want you to attack Kili." He instructed, I frowned and stopped smiling. "Go on, he's a lot more solid than he looks." Fili added, putting one of his swords in my hand, it was much too heavy for me.

"I'm sorry if I get you Kili."


"I said I was sorry! What do you want me to do? Get on my knees?" I asked, Kili nodded and crossed his arms as Oin stitched up his bicep. What had happened was that I'd been swinging the sword when Kili had run past me, so the accident really wasn't even my fault.

"Yes, I'd rather get you down on your knees begging." He replied as I choked on my water, Oin said something in Khuzdul and gave the Prince a stern look. "I don't see anything wrong with what I said." He argued, more Khuzdul came, and this time no reply was gracing Oin, just an eye roll. I coughed violently, doubling over as Bifur slapped my back twice, I waved him off and thanked him.

"Thank you Bifur." I then stood back up and patted my pocket, where the vial was just to make sure it has to fallen out whilst we were sparring. "I've got to talk to my father, I'll see you all at dinner." I muttered, heading out of the room, rain was pouring down outside, the direction I needed to go. "Oh fantastic." I said sarcastically, scowling as I stepped out into the downpour.

Dripping wet, I made it to Dad's room and hesitated, did he really deserve to be given this privilege? After all, he had been a constant thorn in the sides of the company, it made sense to get rid of him, but at the same time I felt like he should suffer for being such a terrible father these past six years. I stepped away from the door and looked at the floor, seeing the puddle that was growing around my dress, hearing the drips of the water leaving the ends of my drenched hair and splashing onto the floor. I didn't hear the Pale Elf joining me as I stared at the vial of liquid I now held in my hand.

"A choice lies before you." She said lightly, I whipped around and stared wide eyed at her. "Do not be afraid of it." Her lips weren't moving. "I am Galadriel, the Lady of Light, Clarisse Reynolds." I nodded and bowed awkwardly at the waist.

"My Lady." I replied mentally, knowing she could hear me perfectly.

"This choice should not be made lightly, there are others whose council you should seek before your mind is made." She whispered, I nodded and one face popped into my head. "Go to him." I bowed again and then ran away from the Elf, breathing heavily until I came back to going outside, I took a deep breath and ran into the rain again, feeling like a child for racing through the rain with another life in my hand.

"Clary!?" Fili shouted, I looked over my shoulder and saw him stood with the other Dwarves under the porch and out of the rain. "Come here, you'll catch cold!" I shook my head with a frown and resumed my running, the bottom of my dress and my boots caked in mud. I ran until I couldn't breathe anymore, stopping at a cliff and collapsing in a heavy breathing heap on the floor. Now on my knees, I bowed my head and closed my eyes in prayer... Not to God you see, to Mahal, the father of the Dwarves. I asked him for guidance, begging that he guide me to the right choice, I never expected a reply, but the rain became heavier, claps of thunder breaking and flashes of lightning blinding.

"Before me is a choice Mighty Father! Guide me in my choice! I am not asking that you tell me what to do, but some help would be nice!" I said, deafened by the thunder.

I sat out there in the rain for what felt like eternity but was really more like four hours, I mean mum had always said I had poor time keeping skills but I never thought they were that bad.

The choice I faced was simple.

Go home and forget about everything the Dwarves were facing and be miserable.

Or

Send Dad home and be happy but know in my heart that I'd never ever see him again and then be miserable.

Huh... Decisions decisions.


Fili POV:

"Clary?!" I shouted, seeing the girl running away from the cover of the city, she turned to look at me, her red hair sticking to her. "Come here! You'll catch cold!" She shook her head with a frightened look and kept going. I sighed, there was no stopping her but she was making me nervous. "I've got to go after her." I said to Gloin, feeling his hands closing around my arms.

"No Laddie, best let the Lady deal with her problem in her own way." He said, I strugled against the older, stronger Dwarf.

"But she needs me!" I grunted, he shook his head.

"If she hasn't told you yet then you must assume it's none of your business Lad." I froze. "Has the Lass even accepted your courting wishes?"

"I haven't presented myself yet." I muttered, stopping my struggle and giving up. Gloin was right in some ways, Clary would come to me when she was ready. "She'll come to me when she's ready."

"Why would she go to you?" Kili asked.