Chapter 8

"Beth."

"Beth."

"Beth?"

Her eyes opened with an aching haziness in the sockets. The bright light which intruded made everything a blur, as though someone had put everything around her in a bag and shaken it. She wanted to put her hand up to shield her eyes but it ached so badly like it was free from its socket. Above her she could make out a blurred shape, around her she could hear her name been uttered like a distant echo. The pain seemed to appear in other parts of her body too, what had happened to her? She could only remember one thing, the laughter had faded, and the smile had vanished. Then everything had gone twisted and black. The voice was closer now, so close to her ear she could feel the warm breath and it called more demandingly.

"Beth!"

A bump in the road roused her, her heavy eyes seeming to roll a little in their sockets. The murmur of the engine and the warmth of the car were the first things she noticed, then remembering where she was her eyes snapped open with sudden mortification.

"Welcome back." A rueful voice remarked and turning her slightly stiff neck she observed Brutal in the driver's seat, his eyes had a glimmer of amusement in them. "It's not often someone falls asleep after only a few minutes of my company."

"Sorry." She replied, pulling herself up in her own seat and looking out the window, the Fall sun was visible through some thick cloud and she could see it was just past its peak. They were nearly on Dean and Dolores' street.

"I'm just foolin' with you. Is there somewhere better I can drop you? Home maybe if you need the rest."

"I've rested." She said gratefully, rubbing her neck and trying to shake off the last part of what she had just remembered in her dream.

"Of course, there's pies to be made." He continued with a small chuckle. "You're young, you'll be alright."

"I doubt your bones are that old."

"You need a strong frame on the Mile, though I've not had to use it much lately 'til Wharton came on it."

"Did Paul call you Brutal first?"

"You know, it's been so long I can't remember."

"Never mind old bones, if you're forgetting maybe you have an old man's mind." She joked and glancing sideways she caught him smiling even whilst he focused on the road. Her eyes moved to his hands that now rested on the wheel, they were things to behold. Long, slender fingers fixed to a large palm, she imagined only Coffey's hands could dwarf them. Dropping her eyes to her own which rested now in her lap, she felt like a child, they were sleight but hard work made them worn.

"How old do you imagine I am?" He asked.

"I don't think you'd care for me to answer that."

"Well I'd put you about twenty one or there abouts."

"Do you assume that because that's how old Percy is?"

"I figured you may have known each other a fair while."

"I'm actually older than him, only I haven't given up my looks for meanness to age me." She explained and Brutal mulled this over for a moment neither looking amused nor displeased. At last he gave her a quick glance and she saw his eyes still holding that glimmer even whilst his face was straight.

"How old are you then?"

"I'm twenty four."

"Still young."

Beth laughed a little to herself, she didn't feel young, she felt older in her bones some days than he likely did.

"Forty?" She asked, glancing sideways to him again and whenever it was a good time he looked at her.

"About that." He replied. "I forget sometimes."

"There's still time."

"For what?"

"Men get married still at your age; have kids an' that if that's what you want."

"Shall I drive us to a chapel then?" Brutal joked back, then he clamped his mouth shut. He looked a little flushed as she felt she was too, somehow this conversation had gotten romantic in sentiment, even if only in jest.

"I'll consider it."

As those words fell from her lips both of them fell into an extended silence, things seemed to have shifted very suddenly. Her eyes remained on the road ahead and from the corner of her eye when she dared to consult it she could see he was doing the same. They pulled onto the street familiar to them both, the silence now becoming difficult to bear.

"Dolores only lives a few doors down; I'll walk from Dean's."

Brutal pulled up and switched off the engine and as soon as the car was soundless Beth got out. By the time she had come round to the sidewalk Brutal was out and had closed the door. She practically collided with him and they both took a step back looking each other in the eye again. It wasn't without awkwardness but seeing eye to eye again also brought about a relief. In her madness to forget her dream, she had forgotten herself.

"Thank you for bringin' me, it was kind of you." She said with a struggled smile, only difficult for she feared she might betray an accompanying blush. Brutal came a little nearer to her, still in his uniform coat looking quite the authoritarian.

"You take care now." He said more formally and somehow that sped any moment they had had far away into the distance. It seemed friendly and general after the close shared humour in the car; it pained her a little if she was truthful with herself. Beth turned and walked off towards Dolores' house, seeing as she passed through the gate that he still remained there, watching her until she got to the door, ever the warden.

Once inside, her friend's arms went about her in a loving greeting, but she could feel her heart pounding in her chest from what had just passed. It was inevitable, when confronted with a kind man it was natural that she should find some relief in that. Yet relief did not seem the only thing to be growing. But when he behaved one minute so friendly and the next so formal it stung deep within her. Her natural disposition these days was to be friendly but not open, yet somehow that Mile had broken into her a little, or had Percy torn away part of the veneer?

The afternoon passed idly with her friend, concealed in her narrow yet ample kitchen they made and baked four apple pies with the remainder of the apples from the tree. Outside it looked finer when they were done and armed with fresh lemonade, they sat on the porch together.

"You seem preoccupied today?" Dolores noted, resting her hand on her friend's knee. "Livin' in the past again?"

"It's rearin' its head a little, yes."

"Often I find it does that when something is new to the heart, why else would we call up old demons."

"You could say that."

"Is it a fella?"

"You might say that too." Beth said, taking a sip of her lemonade and looking down at the apple tree, its branches much sprightlier now they bore no burden. In the distance she could hear the sound of sawing.

"You shouldn't let all that trouble you so, you know." Dolores said kindly. "I know most of it and I don't see you as any different, how could you help it?"

"By growin' up a little earlier I suppose." Beth sighed, frustrated with herself.

"You grew up enough when it all happen'd."

Their conversation was broken by the sound of men's voices being carried on the air, then a great crack and a rustling thud.

"You got that Dean?"

"Yeah, it's all down!"

Beth found herself betraying a smile at the distance exchange, Dolores who was up looking over the fence, saw it from the corner of her eye.

"It's not that married Mr Stanton is it?" She warned, her hand going to her hip in disapproval.

"No, no worries there." Beth laughed.

The following hour passed pleasantly, the distance voices of Brutal and Dean occasionally being heard from Dolores Faber's garden. When the time came for Beth to leave she gave her friend an even heartier embrace and clung to her for a minute as she felt particularly vulnerable.

"Now what's all this?"

"I suppose I should jus' thank you more than I do, Dol." Beth uttered, squeezing her tighter. "I am always grateful, you know that right?"

"I know that plenty."

As Beth walked down her friend's garden path she felt a little lighter and began to make her way home. For the rest of the walk she put that dream and her journey with Brutus Howell from her mind, the former was not in her power to change and the latter seemed confusing. The Green Mile was a place of pain and death overseen by some kind men in uniform, all except Percy that was. It was a final resting place for warmer sentiments between men before life was expired in the name of justice. Beth knew she went there to perform her own tasks, a kind of penance orchestrated by her enemy for something she blamed him for as much as herself. It was not the place to open up one's heart.