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Chapter 9 - Secrets

Julia

The sun shining right in my face woke me from a deep and dreamless sleep. I had slept better than I had in ages. When I slowly became aware of my surroundings, I realized that I was pulled protectively against a warm body. For one second I didn't understand who I was with... then I remembered everything that had happened last night. I wasn't prepared for the surge of guilt and anxiety that flowed through my body at these memories. Only one person crossed my mind; Cody! I completely tensed up and tried to slip away before Mike woke up, but that was to no avail. Before I had barely even moved, his arm tightened around my waist and his lips found my shoulder.

"Don't leave Jules, stay with me for a little while longer." The sound of Mike's still sleepy voice combined with the feeling of his lips on my body faded out all uneasiness and guilt and left only a feeling of contentment. I sank back in his arms and relaxed against his chest. We lay silently for minutes, arms and legs entwined. I was halfway back to dream world when he finally broke the silence.

"You know, it's always nice to wake up next to you, but somehow it's so much better today," Mike said with a smile in his voice. "I wonder why that is."

I giggled. "I think it's because Jack isn't here. I slept so much better without his snoring." I could feel the rumble of his silent laughter against my body. I turned on my back so I could look in his eyes. They shone brighter than ever, with no doubts or uncertainty visible there. A happy smile formed across his lips as he looked into my eyes, and his mouth found mine in a sweet kiss. Yet again, this made me forget about everything that wasn't him. The only thing that counted at that moment were his lips on mine and his hands roaming my body.

"Do you wanna take a shower with me, gorgeous?" He asked between two kisses, the desire blazing in his eyes.

I could only nod; my insides felt like they were made of hot liquid. After one last kiss, he disentangled himself from me and stood up, stretching his muscular body. I couldn't stop myself from checking him out. My eyes traveled from his legs all the way up to his eyes. I felt the heat rise on my cheeks when I saw the amused smirk grow on his lips.

"Yeah Jules, I know I look amazing. You're quite a looker yourself." He held out his hand towards me. "Come on lazy. I have a busy day ahead of me and I wanna start it the best way possible."

I stretched and stifled a big yawn, then grabbed his hand. He pulled me close and I squeaked when he unexpectedly swooped me up in his arms. My arms were around his neck immediately and I pulled his head towards mine to capture his lips. Only when I felt the warm water flowing over us did I realize that he had carried me to the bathroom.

"How do you do that Mike?" I asked him before crashing my lips against his again.

"Do what, Jules?" And before I could answer him, his mouth covered mine.

"This is a fun way to have a conversation," I grinned at him, pecked his lips and finished my question, "How do you make me forget about everything around me every time you touch me, kiss me or even just by looking at me?"

He slowly put me down on my feet, and cupped my face in his hands, brushing a wet strand of my hair out my face. "It must be some sort of superpower." He still smiled, but there was also a hint of sadness in his eyes, which didn't match his light tone. For a short moment his smile faded and he added, so soft that I could barely hear him, "But I'm not so sure that's such a good thing."

He didn't give me time to ask him what he meant, or even to think about it. His lips lowered on mine again, taking control of my mouth; his hands were everywhere, taking control of my body. I responded to his furious passion and let go of every inhibition. I felt like I was burning and his hands and mouth only incited the fire even more. It felt like a dream.

Last night had been amazing, but it didn't compare to this. Somehow, today there was more intensity in the way he kissed me, touched me, and made love to me, that was like nothing I had ever experienced. He brought me to heights that I had never dreamed of. It almost felt like he was trying to brand me with kisses, to mark me as his. One thing was certain... taking a shower would never be the same again.

We stood panting; my legs were around his waist, my back against the wall. His arms tightened around me and his face buried in the crook of my neck.

"I never, ever wanna move again," Mike whispered in my ear. "I would be perfectly happy if I could stay here with you for the rest of my life."

"Hmm… I like the sound of that," I replied, while wrapping my arms tighter around his neck and pulling him even closer. "But don't you think that you would get tired eventually?"

His lips traveled across my shoulder to give me a sweet kiss. "I'll never get tired of holding you Jules. I think that I'm… "

We both screamed as the water suddenly turned ice cold. We stumbled out of the shower and fell down on the floor laughing.

"I guess I need a new plan for the rest of my life," Mike grinned. "Somehow, spending it with you in a shower isn't fun when it turns cold... and although I would happily stay here, this floor doesn't seem to like me very much." He rubbed the back of his head. "It hit me." He pouted, making me giggle. With the smallest of smiles, he entangled himself from me, pushed himself off the floor and pulled me up next. Mike grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me, then started drying himself, meanwhile leaving the bathroom.

The moment Mike left my sight; I felt my happy mood evaporate. I thought about how everybody would react when they found out what had happened between Mike and me. Especially the reaction I envisioned from Cody... just the thought of it almost broke my heart. It would not only hurt him, but also ensure we would never be together. For one second the thought slipped through my head that he might get so jealous at Mike that he would finally fight for our relationship... but that chance was so slim, I couldn't risk even thinking about it. Not to mention that I didn't want to use Mike that way. I didn't know how he really felt about me and I felt ashamed that I had slept with him so easily. I also knew that if that was what Mike wanted, I would let it happen over and over again. He really blew my mind away. If it hadn't been for Cody, I would have happily tried to make things work with Mike.

"Mike?" I slumped into the room to get dressed. Mike was already fully clothed and he was tying his shoelaces. He looked up to meet my eyes, his happy smile darkening when he saw the look on my face.

"Yeah?"

I didn't answer straight away I rummaged through my suitcase to find some clean clothes, cringing at the thought of saying these words, as I knew he wasn't going to be happy. "Can we keep this between us for now?"

He was silent for a long time. His eyes burned holes into my back, but I was too much of a coward to look him in the eyes. I heard him stand up and approach me.

"Jules, look at me please?" For the first time ever, Mike sounded insecure.

I slowly turned around to face him. He stared down on me, his expression unreadable. "I don't understand what you want from me." He lifted his hands as if to touch me, but let them fall to his sides again.

"Err, I… you… I think…," I stammered. "I don't know!"

And I really didn't know, because as I saw the hurt and anger in the bright blue eyes of my best friend, I realized that Cody wasn't the only one who held my heart hostage. Most of it still belonged to Cody, but Mike had now captured a small piece for himself. I cursed the tears forming in my eyes. I was sick of being such a crybaby.

"I told you last night, Mike. I can't promise you anything."

"But do you want to do this again?" He took a step back and crossed his arms. "Or do you want to go back to just being friends?"

I couldn't stop my tears from falling freely now. This seemed to thaw him a little, because he brushed them away with his thumb. He closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened his eyes again, the strange expression was gone and the openness and warmth that I loved about my friend were back.

"Don't cry Jules, there's really no need for tears. Don't you understand that I just need to know where I stand? Last night and this morning have been so fucking unbelievable." He stepped closer to me, and cupped my face in his hands. The expression in his eyes changed again, this time to naked desire. That look send shivers down my spine. "I really need to know if we're gonna do it again. If keeping it a secret is the price, than I will happily pay it."

"Mike," I sighed his name, a surge of relief flowed through my body at his words. I admit there was also a little part of me that was disappointed he was only talking about sex. My hands stroked his chest, then slipped around his neck. "Just because I don't want the whole world to know about it, doesn't mean I don't want it to happen again. It wasn't only amazing for you."

I pulled his head towards mine to show him just what I meant by my words. What was meant as one last kiss, at least for now, quickly became a highly passionate kiss and a moment later my back hit the mattress. His shirt was already out and I was fiddling with his belt when his eyes fell on the clock.

"Damn," He cursed. "You have no idea how much I want you right now... but I have to run. I have an interview in half an hour and absolutely no idea where I need to be for it." Despite his hurry, he took his time when he bent to kiss me again, before disentangling himself from me. Before he left, his eyes took in every inch of me. "Hmm… this is an image that I never want to forget. Have I told you already, how hot you look when you want me?" He blew me a kiss and winked. "Bye Jules, I'll see you tonight."

I stayed behind, confused and feeling uptight and really guilty. What the hell had I gotten myself into? And what was I gonna do about it? Stupid men, life would be so much easier without them.

But it would also be a lot less enjoyable. I could still feel the effects that Mike's hands had had on me.

I shook my head furiously. I needed to get my mind away from guys and focus on my job. Mike wasn't the only one who had places to be, I had a meeting and I was already very late. I smirked at the thought that popped into my brain... getting fired would be a great way to solve this situation. I rushed to get dressed. Looking in the mirror, I pulled a face. My hair was a mess and I had no time to fix it, no other solution than to pull it back into a ponytail. I stuck out my tongue to the mirror. I hated my hair like this. No time for make-up either, I just had to wait until later to be presentable. Now I just needed to run.


"Are you up to this, Julia?" a voice asked. I snapped out of my daydream and looked at the senior-writer, my boss, with a bewildered expression on my face. He shook his head, amused. "Have you heard anything we've discussed this morning? You seem to be a little bit distracted. I'm not used to that from you."

"I'm sorry, Sir. It won't happen again." My cheeks burned.

"So, are you up to it?" I had no idea what he was talking about, so I just nodded. I hoped I had not just agreed to do something horrible, like moving to Smackdown again. I would have to ask Sarah later. I cringed when I saw her worried expression. I had definitely not agreed to something good.

And I was right, it wasn't good... it wasn't good at all. I had just taken on the job of writing an outline and a first draft for Legacy's storyline from now on until Wrestlemania... 9 months later. I loved the idea, writing for heels had always been my preference and working with Randy would be a blast. I hadn't worked closely with him since I first started working for the WWE. The main problem was that there were two other men included in this storyline, one of them being Cody. One part of me loved this opportunity, I would be spending time with him, but I was also afraid that he would think I had volunteered for this, to force him to spend time with him. It would be terribly uncomfortable to be forced to be close to him, to travel with him when we were both trying to get over the other. Not to mention, I didn't think Mike would like this very much either.


Later that day, I was getting tired of myself. I was sick of worrying and pining and thinking in the same never-ending circles. I needed to have fun, I wanted to dance and drink and laugh and I needed to get away from men to do that. Who I did need was Sarah. I bounced into her room, which she shared with Evan now.

"Girls night out Sarah… no excuses and definitely no men allowed."

Sarah nodded, an enthusiastic grin spread on her face. "Good plan. It's been too long since it was just us, hasn't it? Anyway, you have to tell me what happened between you and Mike. We saw him sneaking out off your room this morning."

"No," I shook my head, my eyes wide. "I don't want to talk about men tonight. They're all useless," I grinned at Evan, who merely chuckled. Good thing he wasn't easily offended. "I just wanna have fun tonight. By the way, Mike is always sneaking out off my room."

"Not with that look on his face, he isn't," Evan replied, smirking slightly, eyebrows raised.

"What look?" I asked innocently. On the inside, I cursed.

"Never mind," Evan sighed. "I'll just ask Mike. I'm sure he will tell me everything."

"He won't," I said, a little too fast. "Cause there is nothing to tell," I added. I didn't miss the amused look Evan and Sarah exchanged. It was time for me to leave. My friend would torture it out of me soon enough, but not tonight. Tonight I was going to have fun.

Not too long after leaving with Sarah, she and I were doing just that in a bar just across from the arena. It was a great place, since none of the crew would come into a place that was this packed with fans. The bonus was that it was close to the hotel, so we could walk back later. The bar was amazing; it had great cocktails and lots of happy Aussies. I finally managed to forget about everything and felt like myself again. At least, for the first part of the night...

"What the hell..." I began, choking on my cocktail as my eyes found a bunch of people entering the bar, "...are they doing here?"

Sarah turned to look in the same direction as me, only to notice Ted, Randy and Cody walking through the crowds. What was the point in having a girl's night out, when the men you were trying to avoid somehow managed to follow you? To make matters even worse, Mike, Jack and Evan, among others, followed them in only seconds after.

"Dunno," She shrugged. "I didn't tell them where we went." I looked at her with disbelief in my eyes. "No really, I didn't. I'm not whipped enough yet that I can't even spend a night without Evan. Let's just ignore them."

"Girls only tonight, Mike," I said, when he came over to greet me. "Look," I pointed at Evan. "Not even Evan is allowed."

He shrugged, leant in to kiss me on the cheek and whispered, "Let me know when this girls only thing ends okay? I'd like to finish what we started this morning." I couldn't help smiling when he walked away. Everything about Mike was just so uncomplicated. I wish I could say the same about myself and a certain other guy.

Even though Mike's prospects had made me smile, and nobody else tried to bother me and Sarah, my good mood quickly disappeared. I tried to keep it up for Sarah, and even more for myself, but having Cody and Mike here at the same time didn't exactly allow me anything other than a mind full of stress. The fact that they were both were staring at me didn't help either. It only brought up all my doubts and worries again, and soon I was brooding silently over my drink. I had sent Sarah away and even the bartender had given up with flirting with me.


Cody

I cursed Randy that he had convinced me to go out tonight. I agreed with my friend that it would be a waste to spend the entire Australian trip pining in my room, but why did we have to pick the one bar Julia was in? I wish I could have drunk away my pain, but with Randy around, that surely wasn't an option. Even more, I wished I could just go and talk to her, but that was another thing that was no option. I wasn't worthy of her and I didn't want to hurt her ever again. So, I needed to stay away from her. Right now, she was unhappy, and it was all my fault. I had caught a quick glance from her before she noticed me coming in, and she had looked perfectly happy. Now she sat lonely at the bar, a sad look on her face. If I had needed anymore proof that I needed to leave, I had that now.

"Randy? Could you do me a favor?" Randy nodded. "Could you please check on Julia for me? I can't stand it when she's so unhappy."

Randy shot me a piercing look, "Then just go and talk to her yourself. We're not in high school anymore."

"You're an asshole, Orton. You know why I can't," I looked at him, but his expression didn't change, so I just shook my head, "Never mind. I'll ask Jack." I turned my back on him. So much for being a friend.

A strong hand grabbed me by the shoulder before I could walk away. "Stop, Cody. I'm sorry, I'd just rather stay out of this."

"I'm not asking you to play matchmaker, I'm asking you to cheer her up. If you won't do it for me, then do it for her," With those words, I walked away.

On my way back from the bathroom, some fans approached me. Normally I didn't let myself be dragged into conversation with fans, but tonight it gave me something else to think about. I still looked towards Julia once in a while, and I was glad to see that Randy had gone up to talk to her. I had hoped spending time with him would cheer her up, seeing as they were good friends... but the more time he spent talking to her, the more upset she looked.


Julia

"I just don't know what to do anymore Randy. I've made such a mess of everything." I looked at my friend, my eyes pleading with him to help solve my problems.

"It's not your fault, Julia. Cody played a big part in all of it. I even blame myself for some. If I hadn't been so hard on him back then, he might not have been so depressed right now." Randy rubbed his cheek, looking tired.

"No Randy," I shook my head. "It's my fault, I hurt him so bad. And I could've made things right on the plane. Jack gave me the perfect opportunity, and I blew it and now nothing is as it should be." Angrily, I wiped the tears from my eyes. "My head feels like it's gonna explode. Why fucking tell me that he loves me if he doesn't want to be with me?" A horrible thought popped into my head. "Do you think he's just trying to mess with my head?" I ripped a coaster into tiny pieces. "It just makes sense, you know."

Randy stared straight ahead for a moment, then shook his head. "No. Definitely not. I think he really loves you and that he really thinks that he's doing the best thing for you." Randy turned to face me again. "But it's not just Cody anymore. I've seen you with Mike the last few days and something has definitely changed between you two... and he hasn't taken his eyes of you tonight, either."

I couldn't prevent myself from smiling and then my cheeks burned hot when I saw the amused look in Randy's eyes. "Quit it Randy. I don't want to talk about him now."

He raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that Mike is a part of the mess in your head, don't you? Whether you've already slept with him…" I tried to force my expression to stay neutral. "Ok, so you have. It doesn't really matter. You need to make a choice. If it isn't for them, though I don't think Cody could get any worse and Mike can take care of himself, then it's for yourself."

"I know, I know." I groaned when I rested my head in my hands. "But it's not that easy. I just can't seem to get over Cody. I was trying to, and them he goes and tells me that he loves me."

"Cody is thinking about leaving. Did you know that?"

"What?!?" I started to shake my head, but then I saw the look in his eyes. He was deadly serious. "Please tell me it's not about me. He can't do that. I won't let him."

"Then please talk to him. Don't let him think he needs to leave, Julia. I don't care how you do it, but please try it, for him, for me?" I slowly nodded. I had so much to think about now.

I told Randy I was going back to the arena to walk the halls and think about things. Truly being alone might help me clear my mind. When Mike tried to follow me, I begged him to let me go alone. He might not have liked it, but he gave me the space I needed.