Heyhey! so remember when I said Korra's delusions were going to be explained in this chapter? I lied. Sorry. Instead, you get this.
Alright so this chapter is long and angsty. Totally a homage to Zuko Alone. Lots of Mako flashbacks.
Brace yourself. The feels are coming.
"Time for bed my little Firefly," Noaki cooed as she reached for her 5-year-old son.
"Noooooo," Mako whined as he squirmed out of her grip and scampered down the hall of the family's small apartment. It was a nightly routine. Noaki huffed and chased her eldest son from room to room, hoping to tucker the little scamp out.
"Mako, come on now," she called, following the sound of giggles and tiny feet padding against the floor. Suddenly there was a loud thud, followed by Mako's wails. Noaki rushed into the small dining room to find Mako crying on the floor, his little hands holding his forehead.
"Baby, what happened?"
"The…table…got…in…my…waaayy!" the little boy sobbed, pointing an accusatory finger at the offending piece of furniture. Noaki shook her head. Such a stubborn child.
"Mako, you have to be more careful. It's not the table's fault you hit your head. There will always be obstacles in your way." This only made him cry louder.
"Oh, come now little one," she scooped him up into her arms and shushed him. They made their way back to Mako and Bolin's shared bedroom.
"You need to calm down sweetie. You don't want to wake your brother up, do you?" Noaki brushed the 3-year-old's curly hair as she passed his sleeping form. She settled into the rocking chair by the window, Mako still in her arms.
"Daddy says Bolin sleeps like a rock," Mako said between hiccups, his pain almost forgotten.
"Does he now?" Noaki chuckled. Looking at him sleep, curled up with his little bum in the air, Bolin did look like a rock.
Mako nodded and let out a shaky breath. He rubbed his forehead and pouted.
"Let Mommy see," Noaki pulled his hand away, revealing a little bump. She kissed it gently. She started rocking the chair back and forth, rubbing circles in Mako's back with chi-warmed hands. The little boy yawned and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, nuzzling his face into her neck.
"Song," he murmured sleepily. On the nights when he couldn't sleep, Noaki would sing Mako a Fire Nation lullaby that her father used to sing to her.
"The fading sun won't take my spark. I'll find the light that's in the dark. There's nothing to cry about, for I won't let my flame go out."
She created a small flame in her palms. The fire danced to the beat of her heart. Mako was mesmerized by it. This was his favorite part of their song. As he sang along with his mother, he reached his hands out to touch the fire.
She let his hands slide on to hers; palms up to scoop up the flame. Noaki passed the fire on to her son without fear.They had practiced this many times. Every time she let go, the fire would fizzle out in Mako's hands. But Noaki knew in her heart that her son was a firebender.
"Let this fire inside me grow. Let it shine for all to know; warm and safe I'll always be, for I have light inside of me."
Noaki let her chi dim, watching the flame slowly fade away with it. Mako's eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He looked like a little old man when he made his serious face.
"Shadows falling through the night shrink in fear against my light. There's nothing to cry about, for I won't let my flame go out."
She let go of the flame completely. It was significantly smaller than the one she had initially produced, but it beat steadily along with Mako's pulse. He was doing it all on his own. Noaki folded hers and Mako's hands closed, cradling his tiny flame.
"You did it baby!"
In the days after he achieved blue firebending, Mako's training was improving. He felt so much freer now that he had let himself go. Blue flames burst unapologetically from his fingers. Fighting with one arm became a mild annoyance rather than a hindrance. Mako felt unstoppable.
The second leader of the gang still loved to underestimate Mako though. You're too soft. You're just a scrawny punk. The thug thought he still had the advantage.
But Mako was smart. He played into the man's arrogance.
The two were sparing in the pit, with Katsu watching from the sidelines. Mako's scarred arm was tied loosely behind his back. The gangster circled Mako, looking for an opening. Mako feigned a look of uncertainty. This made the larger man smirk. He sent a kick to Mako's shoulder, forcing him to lean back. He quickly sent two streams of fire out and knocked Mako to the ground.
"Too easy," The giant man laughed and turned to face Katsu fully, leaving his back totally exposed. Mako grinned, pushed himself up and sent a fire punch, hitting the man squarely between the shoulders. The thug stumbled forward then whipped around, glaring at Mako. Despite his better judgment, Mako threw a cocky smirk at the man, adding a wink to egg him on. He heard Katsu chuckle in approval.
Gaining confidence from that, Mako charged the larger man, finding his stride. Years of pro-bending and fighting gangs in Republic City taught him to aim low and knock his opponent off balance. Mako threw a large punch, letting the momentum send him into a spinning kick. He centered his weight over his stance, landing his kick perfectly.
Mako was making progress. Katsu's smile grew. There might be use for this kid yet.
The thug was swinging wildly, rage overshadowing technique. His errors helped Mako gain the upper hand. A too wide punch left an opening for Mako to send a quick blast to his shoulder. A kick aimed to his head sent Mako ducking low and sending a sweep of fire to the thug's supporting leg. The man fell hard on his back. When he made a move to get back up, Mako fired a warning shot, the blast scorching the ground next to the man's head.
"Stay down," Mako instructed through gritted teeth, the threat clear in his tone. He stayed in his defensive stance, daring the downed thug to attack him again. The tension was broken when Katsu spoke.
"Well done boy. You almost fought like a true Senshi."
"Almost," Mako picked up on the word. The wicked glint in Katsu's eyes told Mako that the test was not over.
"A Senshi would leave his mark on his opponent, a permanent reminder of their defeat." He looked pointedly down at the thug lying at Mako's feet. Mako followed his gaze. The man on the ground stared back at Mako with hard eyes.
Mako hesitated. His conscious had crept back from where ever it had been banished to earlier.
This is wrong. This isn't you.
"What are you waiting for? Do it!" he hissed.
Mako stayed frozen. He couldn't bring himself to burn this man. It didn't matter that he was a monster. Mako wouldn't sink to that level. He continued to stare at the man on the ground, deciding what to do.
"It would be in your best interest to follow instructions boy"
Mako remained still. He wasn't about to needlessly injure another person just for the pleasure of a sadist. He hadn't completely lost himself.
"No," Mako said in a low voice.
"What was that?" Katsu hissed.
"I said no," Mako repeated, turning to face the one-armed bender. Defiance was written all over his features. "There's no need. I already beat him. The fight is over."
The thug on the ground quickly swept Mako's legs out from under him. Mako landed hard on him back, hitting his head on the solid dirt ground. Dark spots danced in his vision.
"Wrong answer," The man stood up and brushed himself off. Katsu glared down at Mako.
"You'd better get over your apprehensions. Your first fight is tonight." And with that, the two men left Mako lying on the ground.
It would be months after his parents' death before Mako could firebend again. Winters in Republic City were harsh and he and Bolin had been living in an alley downtown.
"I'm c-c-cold," Bolin shivered. Even huddled together under the oversized jacket Mako had found in the park, the frigid air seeped into their bones.
"I know Bo," Mako rubbed his back with chi-warmed hands. It was all he could do to comfort his brother.
"Why don't you make a fire?" Bolin asked, blinking up at Mako with big green eyes. He didn't understand why his brother didn't use his bending.
"I-I can't," Mako choked. He had told Bolin that their parents were gone; that they were never coming back and that the boys were on their own. He hadn't told him the whole truth that a firebender had killed them, burned them alive for no reason.
"Why?" Bolin whined.
"Because fire is bad," Mako whispered darkly. "It hurts people."
Little hands brushed away tears Mako hadn't realized were falling down his cheeks.
"You're not bad," his baby brother said. There was so much strength and love in his voice. "You won't hurt people."
Mako hugged his 6-year-old brother. He had to stay strong. He had to push through. For Bolin's sake.
Bolin's cold button nose was pressed against his neck, teeth chattering in his ears. If they were going to make it, Mako knew he had to use his firebending. He swallowed the lump in his throat and rubbed his hands together, creating friction. He took a deep breath and focused on pushing his internal flame outwards into the physical world. A small fire flickered timidly in his palms.
"Wow," Bolin was mesmerized by the tiny flame. He scooted closer to his big brother, sticking his hands out to feel the heat. "See, you're not hurting anybody. You're good."
Mako stared into the fire, seeing the color of his mother's eyes.
"I'll try to be."
"Again!" Katsu hollered. Mako grunted in frustration. He had been running this firebending sequence all afternoon. His muscles were screaming in agony, and his bending was fizzling out to weak yellow flames.
"How the mighty have fallen," Katsu baited.
"Why am I even doing this?" Mako called up to him. He was beyond annoyed with Katsu's teaching methods.
"Think of this as a warning for talking back to me."
"I hope you lose the other arm," Mako muttered under his breath.
"AGAIN!"
Mako's anger towards Katsu was the spark he needed. Blue flames erupted from his fists.
"Hey kid, Zolt wants to see ya," Shady Shin informed a 12-year-old Mako, pointing to the staircase that led to the second floor of the Triple Threat Triad headquarters building. Lightning Bolt Zolt's office. Mako gulped. Bolin frowned at the scared look on his brothers' face.
Mako had been around long enough to know that "Zolt wants to see you" was code for "you're about to disappear".
In the four years he and Bolin had been working for the Triple Threat Triad, Lightning Bolt Zolt's name had drifted around like a bad dream. Mako had heard of the notorious leader of the Triple Threats, but had never actually seen him before. Mako pictured a man in a coat made of dragon scales, every inch of him covered in burns or tattoos. He would be bald, and have gashes all over his face. Zolt would look every bit as fearsome as everyone made him out to be.
Mako wasn't expecting the thirty-some-odd man, dressed in a fine red suit, smoking a cigar and casually flipping through the newspaper, sitting behind a big mahogany desk. He looked so normal.
Mako hesitantly knocked on the doorframe to the office.
"Yeah?" Zolt said around his cigar, eyes never leaving the newspaper.
"You-you wanted to see me?" Mako tried to sound brave.
Zolt finally glanced up from the paper. He leaned back in the large desk-chair and took a large drag from his cigar. He blew smoke as he looked Mako up and down, cocking an eyebrow. Mako stuck out his concave chest and clenched his knobby knuckles, trying to appear bigger.
The two firebenders stared at each other. Mako held his breath.
"Kinda scrawny ain't ya?" Zolt smirked, breaking the tension. Mako remained silent.
"How old are you Mako?" Zolt asked.
"Twelve Sir." Mako hoped Zolt would think that his voice cracking was due to puberty, not fear.
"Hm," he took another drag from the cigar and looked out the large window to his left.
"How would you like to learn firebending?" the question threw Mako off.
"I…I already know how to, Sir. Two toed Ping has been teaching me."
"He's an idiot," Zolt waved his hand. "Can barley light a cigarette." He looked at Mako with scheming eyes. "You need to learn the real stuff. Traditional forms and techniques. And lightning." He nodded to himself. "Gonna make you a mighty fine lightning bender."
Mako grew suspicious. "Why? Why would you take special interest in me? Lots of other firebending street kids work for the Triple Threats."
"I see things Mako, and I hear things. Word is, you're smart. Great swindler and quite the pick pocket."
"I do what I need to survive." Mako closed himself off. He didn't choose the criminal life.
"Exactly. That survival instinct is why I'm choosing you to be my protégé. I need to leave my empire in good hands. You're young. We can build a name for you here, if you play your cards right. What do you say?" Zolt held out his hand. Mako eyed it warily.
"And what if I say no?"
"Your brother's a cute kid," Zolt clicked his tongue. "It'd be a shame to see him back on the street." Mako was seething. How dare he threaten Bolin.
"So," Zolt offered his hand again. "We got a deal?"
Standing in the ring looking up at the crowd, Mako felt a familiar surge of adrenaline. "Just like pro-bending," he thought. There were people cheering and booing from the stands. Men were placing bets on fighters.
"Put 20 on the scrawny one."
"Are you kidding? That kid is dead meat."
"Always go for the long shots! I'm betting on the kid!"
They underestimated him. Mako didn't care. He had spent his whole life proving that he was more than just a street rat.
He looked across the ring at his opponent. The man was built similarly to an earth bender, all bulk and brawn. Being overly muscled slowed a firebender down. His movements would be short and stiff due to the lack of flexibility. He would be easy to take down.
Mako scanned the crowd, his eyes landing on Katsu. The older man simply sneered back, sending Mako a clear message. Fight to win. Prove yourself.
The fight started like a traditional Agni Kai, with both fighters kneeling with their backs to each other. Mako stood and let the flimsy vest fall from his shoulders. He turned and got into a defensive stance.
"BEGIN!"
The fight was relatively fast, as Mako had predicted. His opponent was all brawn, no brain. Mako was barley on the offensive. The large man was doing a great job wearing himself out.
A few quick kicks and a powerful shot to the chest and the man went down.
"We have a winner!" There was mix of cheers and boos from the audience. Katsu nodded in approval. "Next challenger!"
Mako took down his next two opponents easily. They were skilled fighters, but Mako seemed so much more aware, thinking three moves ahead and finding weaknesses the fighters themselves weren't even aware of. Katsu's smile grew with each defeat.
"Who's next?" Mako neatly stared over the crowd, not letting the spectators get into his head. It didn't matter who was next.
"I'll go," a youthful voice called. Mako's eyes darted to the entrance of the ring where a young man stood. Upon further inspection, the challenger appeared to be significantly younger than Mako. The roundness of his face and knobbiness of his limbs suggested that he might have been slightly older than Kai.
The boy made his way towards the centre of the ring where Mako still stood dumbfounded.
"What?" he asked, put-off by Mako's staring.
"You're a kid," Mako stated.
"Yeah, a kid who's about to kick your butt, gramps!" he said with a cocky grin as he tied his shaggy black hair back into a small knot.
"BEGIN!"
The kid was fast, faster than Mako. A quick right hook nearly seared Mako's cheek. He pivoted out of the way, but was met with a roundhouse to the stomach.
"Ugh," Mako landed hard on his back. The boy was busy showboating, flexing his lean muscles for the crowd. Mako used the distraction to gain the upper hand. He pushed himself off of his shoulders, bringing down two fists of fire to simultaneously strike the boy in the chest.
He rolled out of the fall and glared up at Mako. His expression quickly melted into one of fear. The man standing before him was no longer concerned with how young or unskilled he was. His eyes were a flat yellow, and his face displayed the slightest bit of anger. This man was dangerous and unstoppable.
The boy scrambled to his feet and backed away from Mako, hands up defensively. Mako advanced on him like a predetor cornering his prey.
"L-look, I was kidding when I called you old." He tried to talk Mako down. "You're really skilled. It was an honor challenging you, but I'm admitting defeat now." When he sensed that his words weren't sinking in, the boy lashed out, aiming for Mako's head. Mako ducked down and sent a fire sweep at the boys' legs, knocking him down.
The kid started to get up, but stopped when a blast of blue fire shot past his head and scorched the ground. Mako stood over him in a defensive stance, staring him down.
"Stay down," Mako warned.
"Teach him a lesson!" "What are you waiting for?" "Do it!" the crowed was spurring him on. Katsu simply raised an eyebrow. Mako knew what he wanted, and it made him sick.
Mako closed his eyes and looked away from the boy, sending out a half-hearted fire blast.
Everything was numb. Sounds were hollow. Mako's vision was fuzzy. He found Katsu in the blur of the crowd. He gave Mako a satisfied smile.
Hasook wasn't the first waterbender to join the Fire Ferret's team.
Kengi was Bolin's age. He had big, watery eyes and lanky limbs. He looked a lot like Mako did when he had hit his first growth spurt. But he also had the skill and attention span of a wet noodle.
"Kengi, hands up," 16-year-old Mako barked. He had been trying to teach the two younger boys a probending combo for hours, but they just weren't getting it.
"Nnnnggghh," Kengi spastically waved his hands in front of his face to block the weak fire blast, forgetting momentarily that he was a waterbender.
Mako smacked his palm hard against his forehead. This was just sad to watch.
"How's it going boys?" Toza ambled in to the gym.
"It could be going better," Bolin rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged.
"This is a disaster!" Mako shouted. "Where did you find this kid? He couldn't bend bathwater if his life depended on it!" his arms were waiving animatedly.
"I'm trying my best okay!" Kengi's voice cracked on every other word. It only made him seem more pathetic. "I'm not as coordinated as you guys, but I can catch on. I swear."
"It's cool man," Bolin patted Mako on the back. "He's not the worst player ever. Besides, it's just a game."
"It's more than a game Bolin," Mako roared at his brother. "Why don't you get that? This is our livelihood! I'm not going back to the streets because of some sniveling, whinny br-"
Mako didn't mean for it to happen.
His arms were gesturing wildly towards Kengi. His anger had gotten the better of him.
The blast of fire escaped Mako's fingertips and hit Kengi in the side, scorching through his flimsy training gear. He cried out in pain and crumpled to the ground.
"Kengi!" Bolin flew to his friend's side, Toza right behind him. Mako stood frozen in place, horrified at what he had just done.
"Kengi I-"
"Bolin, get him to the healers!" Toza ordered. Bolin pulled his friend up and practically dragged the sobbing boy out of the gym, glancing over his shoulders at his brother.
"I-I didn't mean-"
"Mako, listen to me," Toza grabbed the hysterical teen by the shoulders.
"I hurt him. I didn't mean – I was just – oh spirits he's hurt really badly – he's hurt and it's my fault but I didn't mean-"
"I know you didn't kid. Accidents happen. Bending can get the better of us sometimes. But you need to get your emotions in check before you seriously injure someone else." Toza quickly followed after Bolin, leaving Mako alone in the gym.
"I'm sorry," Mako stared into his hands. He was a danger to himself and to everyone else around him. He wouldn't lose control like that again. He couldn't. Who knew who would be on the receiving end of Mako's anger next time?
Mako trudged back into the living quarters, exhausted. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, his body felt like lead. He lowered himself onto his mat and stared out the window into the dying sunlight on the horizon. The events of the past few days played over and over in his head.
When had he become this person? So ruthless, willing to cut down anyone standing in his way? Had he always been like this deep down?
Mako traced his Senshi mark. Did they do this to him? Did they turn him into this man? Or had had they simply awakened the beast?
Mako didn't know what to feel. He was tired, and angry, and remorseful, and empty all at the same time.
You are more powerful than you know. You did it baby! You're not bad. Get your emotions in check, before you injure someone else. You fear your power, so you limit yourself. I won't let my light go out.
You were born for greater things.
Mako closed his eyes and let the darkness consume him.
Old patterns are hard to break huh Mako?
A/N: So much to talk about here. First of all, I'm not even going to pretend to know how little kids work, so I hope I got baby Mako kind of right. Also, lullabies are hard. So, my lovely unofficial beta-reader wanted to know who taught Mako fire bending. I think it was a lot of self teaching coupled in with some tricks he picked up from the TTT and pro bending. We're getting a glimps of Mako's dark side. Has Mr 'cool under pressure' finally cracked? Or was there always a cold, calculating person inside?
Oh, that blurb in italics at the end is like a bunch of things running through his head all at once. Just in case anyone was confused.
Reviews are Chibi Wu and Tu high-fiving (you know you loved that part)
Emmy
