Disclaimer: Once upon a time, there was a walrus.

Author's Note: Well, I'm not dead, although I sort of feel death is the only thing that can justify this lateness. This is a bit of a slow chapter, but I hope you will all enjoy the surprise character (and hopefully not too out-of-character). Just a quick thanks to everyone who favorited/alerted/reviewed with special thanks to Destiny Galactic for providing the necessary prodding. (Sorry for being so late!) Enjoy!

Chapter 9: Hospitals and Hope

Misaki had been rather shell-shocked by the whole ordeal. That was not so unusual, although Mikoto had been expecting a more violent reaction. However five days later Misaki was still drifting through her own life like a wraith; something needed to be done, before the fallout became drastic.

There was only so much damage control that could be done in the wake of the breakdown of a Level 5, after all.

As it was, the damage was already mostly done, a corrosive rust eating away at the infrastructure of the lies Misaki had used to rebuild her life. The whispers that had followed Mikoto were for once not about her in the days after Misaki's outburst in the shopping district, and they had reached a crescendo after a public announcement that had warned Academy City's populous of a relapse of former inpatient Shokuhou Misaki – Level 5, Berserker – of psychiatric wards in District 2.

(Uiharu had at least managed to "release" a special alert stating that Misaki had been recovered and the medical facility of District 2 was conducting an investigation into the cause of her recent public relapse, advising a stand-down from Yellow Alert. The entire 177th Judgment Branch had then been on edge waiting to be arrested for disseminating false information, but by the fourth day with still no repercussions, it became obvious that they had entered the waiting game. The only question was, with whom?)

When Misaki finally returned to Tokiwadai on a chilly Friday morning with (by happy coincidence) Heaven Canceller in tow, all such thoughts of intrigue vanished from her thoughts – intrigue wasn't really Mikoto's forte, anyway.

Returning to Tokiwadai after everything that had happened; returning to the mundane trivialities, the disgusting pettiness, the gossips, the stares and the calculation of fourteen-year-olds, as if they actually knew something about the world, was enough to force the hysterical, manic laughter that Misaki had been trying to choke back for the better part of a week to begin to bubble forth again. She was feeling unmoored and unhinged and exposed and she really didn't want to lash out because she didn't even know what would happen. She needed to focus but she couldn't and her mental shields were in tatters and there was that incessant poking again by some over-eager telepath –

Weren't you ever taught any manners?

It was child's-play toset up a quarantine space and immobilize the over-confident idiot and then follow the connection back into the telepath's mind. She began rifling through memories of gossip with luxuriant slowness.

I thought you would have realized who I am by now, Chitose-san. Or are you always the fool, rushing in?

But of course she was – a weak and pathetic parasite of other's success.

You would do well to remember your place, Chitose-san.

She did the psychic equivalent of a drop-kick, punting the nosey brat out of the confines of her mind, her lips twisted smugly at the slight trickle of blood that ran from Chitose-san's nose -

– She wouldn't deny she was feeling quite the vindictive bitch right now.

She could sense Mikoto throwing her worried glances, but didn't bother acknowledging them. The Railgun was an Electromaster, after all, and didn't really understand the ins-and-outs of proper telepathic etiquette. And there was that tell-tale shift in psychic energies: the sudden building up of rage in the empath two rows back followed by feeble attempts at enhancing feelings of confusion and bewilderment coordinated with simultaneous violent attacks from the other telepaths in the class (as if her shields were penetrable).

She could see her various attackers stiffen physically as she shrugged off their attack like the worthless insects they were, a contemptuous expression settling on her face as Nakamura-sensei finally realized that there was an "event" going on, even as he was lecturing. Her expression settled into something colder; now would be the perfect time to make a statement.

Her lips twisted into a pleasantly empty smile as Nakamura-sensei suddenly froze, cut off mid-sentence, the look of fear on his face quickly spreading to all of his students as they suddenly found themselves immobile, mute, and powerless: completely at the mercy of the blond who was strolling leisurely towards the front of the classroom, idly fiddling with a pen in hand.

"There seems to be some confusion, among the rank-and-file of this institution," she started, staring coldly out at the sea of faces before her, "as to how subjects should treat their Queen," she spared a contemptuous glance for Chitose-san, "especially those who claim to know me best." Rapping her pen sharply against the lecture podium, she continued, "Chitose-san! Who am I?"

The other girl rose, but from the terror in her eyes, it was clearly not a voluntary action. Her voice trembled as she was forced to speak. "Sh-Sh-Shoku-h-hou M-Misaki-sama. The Queen!" The terror was far more pronounced now.

Misaki's smile widened into a mocking grin. "Very good! Sit down, Chitose-san."

The girl sat.

"And you," she commanded, her gaze spearing the impudent empath. "What level esper am I?"

The girl, wide-eyed and shaking, answered hoarsely, "L-l-level 5! Ma'am!"

"Excellent! And do I take kindly to people nosing about my personal affairs," she asked gently.

"N-no," she whispered, shedding silent tears.

And now would be a good time to soften.

Her gaze gentling, Misaki let the empath sink into her chair, and cover her face with her hands. Once the other girl had settled, she continued, "This is academy city, where the incredible happens, every day. As for that…announcement…I can see that many of you are concerned about my continued presence at Tokiwadai. Heaven Canceller," she smiled slightly at the interest the casual dropping of the name invoked, "is currently speaking on my behalf to the administration. But I feel that you also, as my classmates or as members of my faction, deserve to be made aware of the particulars of the situation."

Misaki paused for a moment, as if to gather courage and take a breath. She also relaxed her grip on the assembly before her. Nobody noticed.

"I was in an…accident…about two years ago. I spent over nine months in a hospital in District 2, but I never fully recovered. The so-called "relapse," however, was nothing of the sort. Heaven Canceller will attest that I am still in full control of my abilities."

A careful hand was raised as class-representative Suzano-san dared to ask, "Then where were you, these past five days?"

A wry smile flitted across Misaki's face. "Being examined by Heaven Canceller at the hospital. I understand the dangers of a Level 5 who cannot control her own power better than most." She peered around the classroom, as if looking for more questions, before smiling lightly, "Now, if we can get back to the lesson at hand?"

"So," Mikoto asked dryly, as she settled down next to Misaki on the roof during their lunch hour, "how much of that speech was actually true?"

There was a soft laugh from the other girl, and Mikoto felt herself smiling in response. She had been worried for a while, what with how volatile the blond seemed. "You know me too well, Misaka-san."

"Ha. You're damned terrifying, manipulating everybody like that. You know that, right?"

There was a sidelong glance from Misaki. "Not all of us can walk over the mud without being dirtied by it, Mikoto."

And that was...strange imagery while Misaka Mikoto was not a philosopher. Shrugging to herself, Mikoto asked instead, concern coloring her voice, "were you really at the hospital, all this time?"

"I…really wasn't in a good place Mikoto. I'm still not okay."

Studying her friend carefully for a moment, Mikoto finally offered, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about," murmured the other girl, staring blankly up at a cloudless sky. "I was a monster. I am a monster. Because of me people, too many people, are dead. Another boy was turned into a psychopath. A murderous, raping animal, who I'm going to have to hunt down and stop. All for the sake of one man's twisted dream. Hell, I don't think I'd be willing to do all of that to fulfill my own dream, and I've already lied, cheated, stolen, and manipulated my way out of all the trouble I've ever been forced into." There was a sudden, harsh bark of bitter laughter as she continued jovially, "And never mind the fact that Academy City and Tokiwadai writ large probably all consider me some unhinged, over-powered psychopath right now, anyway!"

It hurt. It honest-to-God hurt to hear Misaki talk about herself that way, so matter-of-fact. But it was also self-pity. And Misaka Mikoto had no patience for self-pity.

Straightening, Mikoto stared hard at her friend. "Then why are you here," she asked coldly. "If you're such a monster, why don't you go lock yourself up in some mental hospital? Or, better yet, end your miserable existence so we don't have to worry about two sociopathic maniacs with mind-controlling powers on the loose?"

Mikoto wasn't quite certain what response she was expecting. It certainly wasn't the stunned look on the other girl's face morphing into rueful laughter.

Puzzled and more than a little miffed, Mikoto turned away in a huff. "I was just trying to help, jeez. You don't have to laugh at me…"

"No, no! It's not that," the other girl wheezed. "It's just, that's the second time I've heard that speech this week."

"What?"

"At the hospital. I…wanted to go check on the girl."

"Oh." A pause. "Was she…?"

"Recovering."

"I see."

"Well, I met a boy; another one of Heaven Canceller's patients. He…he was very kind."

"You know, most healthy people avoid hospitals like the plague. And yet you've spent the last three days here? And you're healthy, as far as I can tell…"

She hadn't expected company. She hadn't wanted it either, actually, going out of her way to alternate between staying in the empty hospital rooms of the patients under Heaven Canceller's care and the coma ward (and also room 412 – the Girl's – when she was asleep, that is).

She turned slowly from the Girl's bed, unable to even muster the energy for a glare at the intruder. It was a boy, not much older than she was, with unruly hair that stuck up in dark tufts all over his head and bandages on his face and hands, particularly heavy on the right. He looked like a mummy trying to make a fashion statement.

"I take it back. Staying here is probably making you less healthy. Maybe you should get checked out after all."

Something sparked within her at that, but it was distant and muted; certainly not something that was worth examining. She turned back towards the Girl instead, vaguely hoping the boy would get the message and leave.

So of course he slid stiffly into the chair next to her.

"Who is she," he asked, and his voice was gentler as he looked down at the small form on the bed.

And wasn't that the question? Who was she? One of the many who suffered because of her mistakes? A victim at the hands of her…successor? (And wasn't Ginjo, if there was anything left of that once-kind boy, just as much a victim in this, too?) A daughter? A sister? An Esper?

"I…do not know."

The boy was studying her now. And she wanted to lash out. Wanted to hide. Wanted to scream at Heaven Canceller for deciding to save her. She didn't like the gentle expression in his eyes.

"And who are you?" Her voice came out as a hoarse, unused snarl.

But the boy just smiled tiredly at her, letting the abrasive inquiry roll off him unheeded. Instead, he gestured towards his hospital gown. "I'm someone who belongs here – a real patient."

A laugh bubbled forth at that: half bitter, half amused. "And what makes you think that I am not?" She spun her hand vaguely about her head. "Maybe I'm a mental patient. One who's been here so long that the night staff has learned to simply accommodate my whims?"

But the boy was still staring at her gently, his eyes old and kind. It was strange, but for once Misaki felt like the young one, she who had seen too much, and yet…

"You're not crazy. Broken, maybe. Hurt, certainly. But not crazy." He smiled suddenly, and the expression looked strangely self-conscious. "I would know; I've met those kinds of people before." There was a pause. "Why are you here?"

"This is the only place I feel safe. Pathetic, isn't it? The only place in all of academy city that I feel safe is among the hurt and dying." She felt her lips twisting into a disgusted smile, tinged with self-loathing.

But the boy just offered up an understanding smile saying, "It is Heaven Canceller's ward."

And somehow, impossibly, Misaki got the strangest impression that this boy, he understood. Finally, then the words came spilling forth, a torrent she could not stop; did not want to stop. She told him about her lies, her tricks. About Berserker, about the monstrous deeds she had committed, all in the name of science. She told him about Ginjo, whom she had inadvertently helped to create, about every disgusting crime Ginjo had committed, crimes she could have stopped so much earlier, because how could she not recognize the touch of his Law Maker? She even told him about Mikoto – the kind, kind girl whom she couldn't bear to see look at her with disgust and loathing. The girl who acted as if she could be saved, as if she could live; the girl who had seen her basest, most monstrous self and yet had walked her all the way back to her dorm.

By the end of her deluge, she was breathing heavily, but she still felt lighter, somehow. She didn't know what she expected from this boy, (absolution?) but something had changed, anyway. Turning, she was stunned to realize that she felt genuine amusement at the overwhelmed expression on the boy's face. Her laughter only became more pronounced at the splash of red that was slowly covering his face.

Smiling lightly, she finally managed, "And that is why you don't ask a girl to talk about feelings. Although," and here her features softened, "thank you for listening, all the same."

Finally recovered and having seen the humor in the situation, he finally asked, "You really care about her, don't you? This 'Mikoto.'"

"I do. I have never had many friends; my esper ability doesn't really lend itself to forming lasting relationships. But she, she never treated me as anything other than what I am; she was never afraid of me. Even when she knew nothing about me other than that I was suspicious, she just treated me like she would anyone else…"

The boy raised an eyebrow. "And now that she knows, you're afraid she'll want to leave you?"

"Well, no. Mikoto is much too kind for that. And we both know that it's difficult for me to use my power on her."

"Then…what's the problem?"

Misaki shot a glare at the boy. "She's seen me at my worst. Would you willingly associate with a rabid bear? Or bring your friends to 'play nice' with it?"

And now, the boy was actually glaring at her. "Enough with this pity party! So you've done some crappy things. Say you are responsible for those people's deaths; indirectly responsible for the torture of these girls. Whining won't do anything! Get off your ass and catch this Ginjo. If you can't be absolved or forgive yourself for your crimes, the only way to move forward is to take responsibility for them until you can forgive yourself, or until you can accept the forgiveness of others. So start by catching this bastard!"

The boy was still glaring at her fiercely, and she was shaking: shock, rage and agony, and relief all warring in her soul. In the end it was the relief that won out. She had something she could do. A place to finally start closing this wretched chapter in her life. And maybe the boy saw that, because the anger seemed to drain out of him, and he nodded once to himself before beginning to stiffly rise from his chair.

He made it to the door, before he paused, to offer one parting comment. "Berserker-san? If I know Biri-Biri, and I think I do, she would never abandon you for something you did as a child, and events you had little to no control over. And even if you did have control over your actions, well, I'm afraid that Biri-Biri is one of those people who just sticks to you, like a fungus or something. I'm pretty certain you have a friend for life, no matter what you do, Berserker-san."

Misaki jumped up, suddenly invigorated. "Come on!" She tugged on Mikoto's hand in emphasis.

Mikoto stood slowly, deliberately, more than a little put off by the whip-lash mood swing. "Come where," she asked carefully.

"To the 177th branch, of course! We have much to discuss, and much to do, and not much time to do it in."

"Aaaannd, you want to do this now? During the middle of the afternoon?"

"School can wait! But the fates of these girls, these cannot wait."

"You do realize that nobody is going to be at the branch office, yes? Not Konori-san, not Kuroko, not Saten-san, not Uiharu-san. It's the middle of the school day, so there's really no point in hurrying. Shouldn't we use this time to solidify your control over the school? I mean, that display in class was a good start and all, but it only bought us some time. (Actually, I can't believe I'm the one lecturing you in this…)"

Misaki heaved a deep, resonant sigh. "Must you be so reasonable during the only time I am actually quivering with energy?"

Mikoto smirked. "What's a friend for, if not to obstruct each other's whims and flights of fancy?"

Rolling her eyes, Misaki added, "Pranks, for one. However, I shall be a good friend, and prank you not. Nevertheless, we will need to head to the hospital after class." She started heading off the roof, as Mikoto scrambled to keep up. "There's someone I think you'd like to see…"

"Mhmm, yeah yeah."

Mikoto stopped her before she could cross the threshold, a serious glint in her eye. "Misaki. Are you alright?"

Misaki's answering smile was genuine, in a way that Mikoto realized with a start that she had missed. "I will be alright. I promise."

I'm pretty certain you have a friend for life, no matter what you do, Berserker-san.