Alaric Saltzman's eyes were wide with shock, his cheeks flush with embarrassment. Elena was sure that she wore a similar expression.
"I just needed a glass of water."
"So did I."
The two stood awkwardly in the Gilbert kitchen, Alaric in boxer briefs and a collared shirt and Elena in her pink and blue kitten pyjamas.
"I'm just gonna…" Alaric pointed to the stairs, his eyes downcast.
"Yeah, goodnight Mr Saltzman."
"I think we've moved passed Mr Saltzman, Elena. You can call me, Ric."
"I'll call you Ric if I never have to see you in my kitchen in just your underwear again."
"Deal," Ric laughed as he ran up the stairs, taking them two a time. He's face was still red and his breath was laboured with exertion.
"That was fast," Jenna said as Ric climbed back into her bed.
"I ran into Elena."
Jenna laughed. "Wearing that? The poor girl must be traumatised."
Ric leaned over, covering Jenna's body with his. "Traumatised? I'll have you know I overheard a couple of students say I have the best dad bod at Mystic Falls High School."
"Teenagers have no taste," Jenna giggled, bringing Ric down for a kiss. "You're so good with them, you know."
"I'm a teacher. If I didn't know how to handle teenagers, I would have chosen a different profession."
"You know what I mean." Jenna sighed. "I don't know what I'm doing half the time."
"You're a great guardian, Jenna."
Jenna quirked an eyebrow. "My niece may have to go to therapy from seeing my boyfriend in his underwear and my nephew is a junkie."
"Jeremy's not a junkie. He's grieving. He'll grow out of it.."
"Did you smoke your life away when Isobel died?"
Ric froze.
"Shit, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have—"
"No, it's okay," Ric said, sitting up with his back against the head of Jenna's bed. "Losing someone you love so suddenly, the, uh—the trauma and the grief there are some of the tougher things he'll face in life."
"Is it ok to talk about your wife?"
"There's not much to talk about. She died. I moved here to take care of her sick mother. She died too. I met you. The end."
"Do you miss her?"
"I miss her all the time," Ric admitted. He knew better than to be dishonest with Jenna. "When she died, I knew that moving here and taking care of Elia was what she would have wanted."
"She lived in Fell's Church, right?"
"Yeah, not far from the old church. Elia was a single mother, Isobel was all she had. Her pain-killer addiction grew worse after Isobel's death."
"It's crazy to think that I might have known known your wife when she was a kid. Fell's Church and Mystic Falls are virtually the same town, we're so close together."
Ric smiled sadly. "Maybe. I think she would have liked you."
"You don't talk about her often."
"It's just hard, I guess."
"You can talk about her, you know," Jenna said. "She was your wife. A huge part of your life."
"Well," Ric began. "She was smart. I think I told you she was doing her PhD on paranormal creatures. She had a fascination with vampires, witches, doppelgangers. Sometimes she'd bring her work home. Sometimes she'd sleep in her office at the University…"
"Wasn't that where they found her?"
A heavy lump grew in Ric's throat. "Yeah. Two years ago next month. They said she had all the blood drained out of her, bite marks in her neck. They said it was an animal attack."
"But you're certain it was a vampire?"
"You know as well I do that they exist."
"Is she buried in Fell's Church?"
Ric nodded. "I buried Elia next to her when she passed last year. I haven't gone back to visit them since."
"Would… would you be okay if I joined you when you visit them next?"
Ric smirked. "You want me to introduce you to my dead wife and mother-in-law?"
Jenna shrugged. "They were the only family you had."
"And now I have you."
Jenna leaned up to kiss Ric's lips. "So… will you take me to meet them?"
"Yes," Ric said, kissing Jenna sweetly again. "Not now, but… one day. When it's easier."
"Of course," said Jenna, knowing it will never really be easier. She knew as well as anybody who had gone through what they had. Jenna knew that Isobel would always have part of Ric's heart. She was his past, but Jenna was his future. She was certain about that. All she could do was be patient. "Whenever you're ready.
The next morning, still reeling from her interaction with her history teacher, Elena went over to the boarding house to see Stefan. She had read Katherine's journals back to front and the more she read, the more she loathed Katherine.
Without pretence, Elena opened the large oak door and walked into the boarding house, calling Stefan's name.
"You don't knock?"
Elena jumped at Damon's sudden appearance. "Is Stefan in?" she asked.
"No 'Hello, Damon, you look ruggedly handsome this morning'?"
The shock of seeing Damon quickly wore off, though his presence still affected her. He looked at her with dark eyes and she wondered what the fire within them meant. Did he find her as attractive as she found him, or did he still only see Katherine looking back at him? Elena decided to put her thoughts to the test.
"Hello, Damon," she said, putting her bag on the hook by the door. She walked toward the vampire as he leaned against the archway that led to the kitchen. "You look ruggedly handsome this morning."
Damon stood up straight, a look of confusion crossing his features. The fire in his eyes remained. "Stefan's out catching breakfast."
"Mind if I wait here?" Without waiting for an answer, Elena walked by Damon, making sure to brush her arm against his. "This is your living room?"
Damon followed closely behind Elena. "Living room. Parlour. Sotheby's auction. It's a little kitschy for my taste. I'm surprised you didn't see it last time you were here."
"No, Stefan and I went straight to his room."
"What, no foreplay?"
"It isn't like that between Stefan and I. We're friends." Elena hating having to defend her and Stefan's friendship. "Men and women can be friends, you know."
"Yes, but we both know my brother wants you..."
Elena grew uncomfortable. She suspected Stefan's feelings for her stretched further than friendship, but she had made her feelings clear. I won't lead him on or hurt him. "I'm not Katherine."
"What does Katherine have to do with you and Stefan?"
"Nothing…"
"What is it?"
"What's what?"
"Don't act like a child, Elena. You're doing that thing women do where they say one thing but mean another."
"Men do that too, you know."
"Yes, like Stefan. We all know Stefan acts like a woman."
"Why? Because he shows emotion. You might like to try that for a change."
"I'm not weak."
"Showing emotion isn't weak. Women aren't weak! I know you grew up in the nineteenth century but in this era, sexism is frowned upon."
The only sound in the room after that was Elena's laboured breath. It washed across Damon's face as he glared down at her. It was then that he realised how close they were standing. How does this always happen? It's like we gravitate toward each other…
Damon took a step back. "Are you going to tell me what's really wrong?"
Elena continued to glare at Damon, though her breath had begun to calm. Damon looked on curiously as Elena took a deep breath and looked up at him.
"Do you… Who do you see when you look at me?" she asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, do you see me? Or do you see her?"
A guarded expression crossed Damon's face and the fire in his eyes grew cold.
Selfishly, Elena continued. "Is that why you're with Caroline? Because being with me would be too hard when I look just like Katherine?"
"Stop talking about Katherine. You know nothing about her."
"I read her journals. Stefan kept them. She wasn't a nice person, Damon."
"I know."
"I – Wait, what?"
"I know she wasn't nice. She never pretended to be nice. She was real. What we had was real."
"Do you know what she did to your brother? Forcing him to sleep with her. I don't what they called that in 1964, Damon, but I call that rape."
"Stefan is the one that pursued her. Everywhere we went, Stefan was there too. He never gave us room to breathe."
"She was compelling him to keep him close."
"And how do you know? Because of some diaries that Stefan coughed up. You have some real credible sources there, Elena."
"He's my friend and he's still hurting. All he ever wanted was his big brother and here you are treating him like a pariah."
"It's about time Stefan knew what it's like to not always get what he wants."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Damon stayed silent while his mind reeled. Everyone always chose Stefan. Our father. Our friends. Katherine. But I'm going to be the one to save her. Then she'll want me and only me. Forever.
Instead of sharing his thoughts with Elena, Damon changed the subject. "You want to know why I'm with Caroline? She was hot and willing." And she wanted me. Not Stefan. Me.
"She's my best friend, Damon. She's not some toy you can play with and throw away."
"She's a big girl, she knows what she's doing." Very well, in fact.
"She's seventeen, Damon. She's not even an adult yet."
"She's armed with vervain, she has a (for some reason) bedazzled stake under her bed, and her mother's a vampire-slaying Sherriff. I'm hungry and horny, not suicidal."
"Why her? You could have found someone easier to screw." You could have had me! "Why did you choose my friend?"
"Not everything is about you, Princess," Damon drawled. "I just realised killing too many townspeople would get me staked so I ordered Meals-In-Heels. Besides, getting Caroline was easy, even without compulsion. Do you know how insecure she is whenever your name is brought up in conversation? All I had to do was smile and call her pretty and she dropped her panties immediately."
"You're vulgar."
"No, sweetheart, I'm a vampire. That image you concocted of me in your pretty little head? Get rid of it. I'm not the good guy, Elena."
"I don't want you to be the good guy, I just want you!"
For a full minute, all that could be heard was Elena's laboured breath.
Then Damon replied in a slow, dark voice. "And at the end of the day, all I want is Katherine. Unless you want to roleplay, I guess neither of us is getting what we want anytime soon."
"Why are you even here, Damon?" asked Elena, growing weary. "To make Stefan's life miserable? Are you that sad in your own life that you need to impose in your brother's?"
"Why do you care, Elena. We spoke for two, three minutes tops. Months ago. What was so special about me? About that night? Huh? Is your pathetic high school crush that deep that you can't leave me the fuck alone?"
"That was the night my parents died," whispered Elena.
For once in his life, Damon Salvatore was speechless.
The ache Elena felt at the absence of her parents grew within her chest, and she let out a shaky breath to calm her emotions. In a soft, confident voice, Elena continued. "You were the last person I spoke to before I got into that car. You were the last thought I had that car when over the side of Wickery Bridge.
"When I woke up after the accident, I was destroyed. I blamed myself. I wallowed in the guilt, let it consume me. Slowly, my memories of that night came back to me. All of it was a blur, like it happened to someone else and not me. All of it – except for when I met you."
Damon looked at her wide-eyed as she spoke.
"I remember that moment vividly. How you appeared out of nowhere. How you called me Katherine. How you looked into my eyes – a stranger's eyes – and knew exactly what I needed."
"I don't understand," Damon said.
"It was that memory that made me fight the darkness that threatened to consume me. My parents... they wouldn't have wanted me to wallow in guilt. They would have wanted me to live life to fullest. They would have wanted all of that for me—the passion and adventure."
Damon smirked. "Even the danger?"
The tension that was like iron in the air began to dissipate slowly and lightness filled the room when Elena laughed gently.
"Maybe not too much danger," she admitted. "But they would have wanted me to take risks. And I want to take a risk, Damon. I want to take a risk on you."
Damon looked at her perplexed. "Why?"
"Because I see myself in you."
"I'm sorry," Damon said. "I know what it's like to lose people you love and… I'm sorry."
Elena held back a smile. This is him, she thought. This is the Damon I met. The one that feels so much he doesn't know what to do with it. This is the Damon I love.
Love. The word bounced around in her head, but she didn't voice it. Damon was ready for that word – for her – just yet.
Damon continued to look at Elena with intense eyes as if he were trying to compel some secret truth from her. "I'm not good, Elena."
Elena placed her hand on his arm. "I never asked you to be."
