"I should have noticed the beauty
And not how it hurt
Wet like a cherry
In a bloodbath of birth"

Birth, The Faint

Harleen couldn't sleep. Not just tonight, she hadn't really slept in over a week. She was trapped in a vicious cycle of insomnia, discomfort and restlessness. Every part of her body was uncomfortable. Her back hurt, her feet were swollen and she had heartburn all day long. Even though she was still two weeks away from her due date her doctor had insisted she start her maternity leave early. Her blood pressure was elevated, not enough for bed rest but too much for her to stand all day at the store. Having nothing to do all day wasn't helping her sleep. Lately she'd toss and turn and get up and down all night until she finally fell into a light sleep at around seven in the morning. Two or three hours later she'd be too uncomfortable to stay in bed any longer. She didn't know if it was the lack of sleep or the fact that she was spending too much time alone in her apartment but she was starting to worry about her mental health. She sometimes felt like she saw something out of the corner of her eye that wasn't really there and she would swear her hearing had become super sensitive. The sound of cars going down the street roared and rumbled in her head when they had never bothered her before. The most disturbing thing were her thoughts. She had started thinking about hurting people. Not just hurting them, killing them.

She knew that in her first year with the Joker she had killed plenty of people but since she'd been away from Mr. J she really hadn't had any violent thoughts. She'd been pretty calm and happy generally and at times very sad and maudlin but murder hadn't crossed her mind in months. Now she thought about it all the time. Sometimes remembering her past kills, sometimes getting so angry at some minor annoyance that she wanted to kill the person responsible for it. The other day she'd been walking down the street and someone bumped into her and didn't stop to apologize. She'd felt more than the mild offense that she should have, she was filled with rage. She had to stop and calm herself down before she took off and tried to punish the rude pedestrian. She really didn't need to attack someone in public and end up having her baby in a prison hospital. It was getting so bad that yesterday when Pam tried to talk her into eating something besides mint chocolate chip ice cream Harleen had ended up going into the other room and beating the hell out of one of her pillows. She didn't think she'd really hurt her friend but she couldn't be sure. The rage she felt was simmering below the surface all the time and she didn't know how to relieve the pressure that was building up.

Tonight's annoyance was some asshole talking on his cell phone outside her bedroom window. She was on the second floor but that didn't keep the sound from traveling much and with her newly hypersensitive hearing it felt like he was in the room with her. It was one in the morning, why was he out on the street in this neighborhood anyway? Everything on this street was closed up for the night. She considered yelling at him out the window but she had just managed to get comfortable in her bed and even the simple act of getting out of bed and waddling over to the window was a major amount of effort when nine months pregnant. She tried to close her eyes and ignore him. She didn't think she fell asleep but when she opened her eyes she had lost some time and she felt different. Instead of the fuzzy exhausted feeling in her brain she was used to everything seemed crystal clear, sharp and focused. And the low bubbling rage she'd felt lately was flared up so that she felt like hot waves of anger radiated out from her body. The asshole on his phone was still outside and was laughing at something the person on the other end of the line had said. She laughed too, a cold creepy laugh. She slowly maneuvered herself out of bed and went to her kitchen. She pulled open a drawer and took out the largest, sharpest knife she owned. She looked down at it, it was a cheap piece of junk compared to the knives Mr. J had, compared to her knife, but it would have to do. She didn't bother to get dressed, she just walked out of her apartment barefoot and still in her maternity nightgown and went down to the street. With the knife hidden behind her back she walked up to the man on his phone.

"Help, help me please!" She pleaded with the man, acting distressed and breathing hard while she spoke.

"What?" He asked, confused and pulling his phone away from his ear. He seemed to realize what she said and put the phone back to his ear.

"I'll call you back in a minute." He put his cell phone in his pocket and came closer to the extremely pregnant woman in front of him. "What's wrong?"

"I think I've gone into labor. I live nearby but I'm in so much pain. Can you help me to my door so I can get my husband to drive me to the hospital?" She managed to squeeze out a tear and a sincere look.

"Sure, what are you doing out here anyway?" He asked and put an arm around her shoulders. Oh now he was a nice guy, too late pal!

"I couldn't sleep and decided to take a walk. It's just up here to the right." She directed him to turn into the nearest alley. He apparently was not familiar with the area because he went along with her directions without question until they were already off the street.

"Hey, this is an alley. Are you sure this is the way you want to go?" He looked down at her.

"Oh yes, this is exactly where I want to be." She gave him an evil smile and pulled the hand with the knife in it out from behind her back.

She stabbed it into his chest before he could react to seeing the knife. She pulled it out and stabbed him over and over. He only managed a weak scream before she ran the knife across his throat. She stabbed him a few more times hoping to release some of the intense rage she felt. She wished she had Slugger. Beating someone to death with a baseball bat was an incredibly effective way to burn out the fire of her anger. She felt a sharp twisting pain in her abdomen. Like the worst menstrual cramp she'd ever had multiplied by a thousand. After it passed she decided that continuing to stab away at the dead flesh was growing dull and walked back to her apartment. The front of her light pink nightgown was covered in blood. She wasn't concerned about anyone seeing her and no one did. When she got back to the apartment she had another intense pain shoot through her stomach. She didn't let it stop her on her path to the shower. It was unlikely that anyone would find the dead body for a while and if they did it was even more unlikely that they would connect it to her but it still wasn't a good idea to stand around covered in her victim's blood and holding the murder weapon.

She got in the shower and turned the water on. While it warmed up she pulled off her nightgown and threw it onto the floor of the tub. She washed her knife off under the faucet and after she sat it on the edge of the tub she pulled the lever to turn on the shower spray. She managed to get all of the blood off herself before she was hit by another clenching pain that felt like it was twisting her internal organs around inside her. She got out of the shower and put on a bathrobe. She tried to think of what she should do now. She found her phone and did the only thing she could think of, she dialed the only number she knew by heart. His number. It went straight to voicemail. She didn't leave a message, she didn't know what to say. Not knowing what else to do she just paced around the room, taking the pain when it came and repeatedly dialing his number. He never answered. Eventually the pain was so bad she doubled over and almost lost her balance. She started to walk to the sofa to sit down when she felt some pressure and then a gush of warm fluid was suddenly flowing down onto her feet.

Harleen looked down at the puddle at her feet in surprise. She looked over at the clock, an hour ago she had been lying in her bed trying to sleep. Then she'd, what? Fallen asleep and had a dream? Was it a dream? Or had she really killed someone? No, she wouldn't do that. Not now. An intense pain gripped her stomach. She looked back down at the puddle. Oh god, she was in labor, her water had broken! She realized her phone was in her hand, she must have been about to call for a taxi. She made the call and waited for the taxi to show up. Her contractions were getting increasingly close together and she was getting worried. This was her first baby, they told her this would take a long time. Someone lied to her because this whole thing seemed to be moving extremely quickly. She managed to pull on some clothes and shoes and throw a couple of things she would need into a bag between moments of intense pain. By the time the taxi arrived her contractions were only a couple of minutes apart and she was just praying she didn't have the baby in the cab. The driver was probably doing the same thing.

The drive to the hospital was fairly short but by the time Harleen entered the emergency room her contractions were so close together it felt like there was almost no break between them, maybe a few seconds before the next one would hit. She was immediately taken to the maternity ward. She was screaming at anyone who would listen that she wanted drugs but they told her they had to wait for a doctor. Her own doctor happened to be at the hospital with another patient and came down to check on Harleen. She barely remembered any of what happened, it was just a sort of blur of pain and she was so tired from lack of sleep that she sometimes felt like she was imagining the whole experience. The result of her being checked out was that she was almost completely dilated and it was too late for an epidural. She had only just begun to accept the idea that she was doing this drug free when the nurse was telling her she should try pushing with her next contraction. How was this happening so fast? She wasn't ready, she still had two more weeks!

Time suddenly lost all meaning, there was just pain, pressure, exertion and finally an intense burning accompanied by the feeling she was being ripped in half. There were people helping her, saying encouraging things to her but she couldn't hear what, her ears felt congested and everything was muffled. Finally the burning reached an unbearable level and then it was gone. She was pulled out of her misery and her mind and body lit up with power. Her senses cleared and sharpened. She felt like she had after her first kill, the rage she lived with was pushed away and replaced with joy and happiness and energy. And then Harleen heard a cry, her daughter was here and she was crying. The nurse placed the baby up on her chest and even though she was a gooey mess, her daughter's face was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Harleen's whole body was shaking with excitement or maybe it was just adrenaline. The nurse took the baby back to clean her up and wrap her in a blanket. She held the baby in her arms and the crying finally stopped. In their first calm moment together they looked at each other in mutual wonder. Harleen realized that she was looking into a miniature version of Jack's face. Other than the golden blond fuzz on her daughter's head, her features were all his. Her eyes were the blue gray of a newborn but behind that you could see hints of the dark brown her eyes would end up being. Harleen couldn't have been more delighted with her beautiful baby girl.