Disclaimer:I do not own Twilight.

Thanks for the reviews .I know Jane was a bit of a douche but hey no one is perfect.:)


Chapter 9

Bella's POV

I sat on my window sill staring up at the illuminating moon. Edward had left to go hunting. Alice stayed at the Cullens when I refused her company stating that I wished to be alone. This had been a common occurrence for me since I returned from Volterra three weeks ago. Everyone assumed that I was simply traumatized after what occurred in Volterra which is why I seem to prefer solitude more often. When Edward saw the bruises he almost toke Aro's head off . Aro explained that one of the guard had mistaken me for food but Aro had protected me before they could do anything other then leave bruises . I went along with the lie because I couldn't let them know the truth. No matter how bad Jane hurt me I couldn't let them harm her.

Edward believed Aro but then turned his anger out on Alice since she didn't see any of it happening. It turns out the moment I walked into the throne room my future vanished. Even now Alice cant see any decision or future decisions I make. This of course sent the little pixie in a panic and put Edward into overprotective mode. Carlisle keeping a level head , asked me all that occurred while I was with the Volturi .I told him that I was given a room rested and that morning attacked by a guard member .Then Aro stepped in. It wasn't a lie and my heart rate didn't give away the missing facts. Which lead Carlisle to believe that I'm still in shock and was further traumatized after hearing the screams of the Volturi's next meal. Everyone but Jasper seemed to believe his theory. Due to my constant nightmares .The fact that I barely eat or talk . Jasper however seems to watch me with open curiosity . I had already told him that I forgave him for attacking me on my birthday when we returned to Forks . Since the moment I noticed him watching me more closely I have avoided going to their house. Something tells me the my emotions are portraying a very different story then my actions are. It seems that I can hide from my own mind but not from my heart.

Charlie doesn't have a clue whats going on .At first he thought I was upset about being grounded. I allowed him to think that since it made my life easier. That is until he confronted me about it two weeks ago.

Charlie and I were eating dinner. Well I was picking at my food , when he awkwardly cleared his throat."Umm Bells I think its time you and I talked."I drop my fork, push my plate away and look up at him.

"About what Ch-dad".

"Bells I know there is something going on with you.I know its not the fact that you cant see Edward that has you in this funk"I stare at him blankly. He sighs."Well if you wont talk to me about it how about Jake? Billy said he hasnt been doing so well either. Maybe you could help each other out." Jake was one of the last people I would want to talk to about this. He couldn't even understand why I love Edward . So there was no way he could understand my feelings for the red eyed angel especially when I don't understand them.

"I don't know dad-"He cut me off shaking his head.

" I know you to had a fight before you left but hes you bestfriend Bells and you cant let a little fight ruin your friendship" I look down at the table.

"Dad..."

"Fine Ill leave you be. But at least say you will think about talking to him. For me?" I sigh and look up at him nodding slightly. After that conversation things didn't change I know he noticed but with the large amount of missing cases piling up in Port Angeles and Seattle. Hes been too busy to talk to me about it. Which I'm very grateful about. I have enough trouble dodging Edward and Alices questions.

My heart that is torn and filled with a despair are so strong that I can't tell if its my feelings or Jane. My dreams or should I say 'nightmares 'as the Cullens think of them, have been filled with nothing but her since I left her. Sometimes we are making love and she looks at me with so much love and hope that I wake up crying.

Most of my dreams however are not so pleasant. Sometimes I dream of her berating me for being me.

Some are of her killing Edward or Edward and the Cullens killing her.

Those dreams cause me to wake up screaming in anger and fear.

Even though I only spent a day with her and know almost nothing about her. I miss her. I miss her voice . Her smile. Even her wicked smirk . But most of all I miss being in her arms.I groan and fall face first on the bed. Damn it whats wrong with me!? Why cant I get her out of my head.!Why wont-`. My inner turmoil is cut to an end when I hear a light tapping on my window. Fucking Pixie!. Muttering curses under my breath I walk over the window and without looking out I start to speak. "Listen Alice. I love you to pieces but what part of I want to be alone you dont understand!"I hear a soft laughter and my head jerks up immediately . Brown eyes meeting glazed over crimson.


I wonder who that could be ...leave me a review and tell me what you think.